6 Year Old Theif

i am a 58 yr old woman that had a son to steal from the store at one time. i didn't know that he had stole gum until we got home and he opened it up.he was about 5-6 yrs old,{now he's 36 and i must say a very respecable ,decent, loving person.i'm very proud of him and have told him so many times.}i started taking him to church and letting him learn from the other children that God didn't steal,and that if he wanted to go to heaven one day that he should never steal again. he loved going to church and being with the other children. give the children something to look up to that can carry them through the hard times and trials of life.my son never stole again . help them get God in their life by taking them to church and learning about God.it's our responsiblly to see that our children are brought up in the admonation of the Lord. the lord is our only hope and He is just waiting for people to open up the door for him. lola t

This must be a six year old thing, because I am having problems with my six year old and the same thing. Only she has been taking things from her teacher at school. I tried all the same things writing an apology, taking toys, no T.V., confronting the teacher and telling her what she had taken and making her give it back, the teacher has talked to her telling her how it makes her sad that she has taken from her, I've tried sitting and talking to her about it and i've even had an outside source that had nothing to do with the situation (another teacher at the school) talk to her. Nothing had worked, but I think I have came up with something that has worked for the time being. It seems a little harsh, but it has worked so far. I told her that long ago when people took what wasn't thiers they would lose the use of thier hands ( i didn't tell her that they would get their hands cut off, just that they wouldn't be able to use them anymore) So I told her if she does it again, i'll put a sock over her hand and she is not to use that hand for the day. Then she also has to explain to people when they ask why she has a sock on her hand that she had taken something that did not belong to her. I explained to her teacher what I told her and she agreed that it was worth a try. She has taken things from her teacher on a number of occasions not just once. If you get any better advice that might be helpful please let me know, and good luck!

Sounds like she just needs attention. You have a full household and work so..maybe she misses you or her dad.Can you watch the other kids and let her have some alone time w/ her dad doing something special? For example, a movie or game with attention focused just on her. Then this will open her up to talk about what has been going on w/ school etc. and any other issues at hand.

Do you make her give back whatever it is that she's stolen and say something like "I'm sorry I took this. I know it's not mine and I should ask if I want to play with it."? Many kids don't mind being punished but hate having to admit they've done something wrong to whomever they have done it to. You could also have these people tell her they don't like it when she takes their things, "I am sad because I really like babysitting you guys, but when you take my things, I don't want to be your babysitter anymore."
I'd really advise against "an eye for an eye" stealing from her. It will just teach her that 1) everybody steals and 2) if you don't like what someone does to you, just do it back.
Good Luck!

I haven't had to deal with anything like that since my kids are 3 and 1, but I'm wondering if this is just a way for her to try to cope with being a middle child still adjusting to the new family dynamics (I'm assuming since the youngest is 2 that you and your husband haven't been together longer than that. . .)

I know that middle kids often feel like they get lost anyway, and with the change of living situations, she may be feeling overwhelmed, angry, depressed, etc.

My thought is, you won't be able to fix the problem until you find out what motivates her to steal. Maybe if you can help her understand that she is loved and cared for just as much as always, and if she is feeling lonely or sad or angry she can come talk to you or her dad, or call her mom or whatever, it might change her behavior. If nothing like that helps, I'd look for some sort of counselling for her. If you attend church, you can usually get basic pastoral counselling for free, and if it goes beyond the scope of what your minister can deal with, he/she can refer you to a trusted therapist. Otherwise, I'm sure other moms could recommend a counsellor to contact.

Good luck!!

Have you tried stealing from her? Maybe if her valuables turn up missing she will learn how it feels to have things stolen from you. Sorry, that's the only thing I can come up with. Just remember the more senses children use, the more they learn.

Have you thought about talking to your daughter? Asking her why she steals and then calmly explaining that when she steals she hurts the people that care about her. How would she like it if you, the babysitter, the uncle or brother and sister stole from her? Perhaps she is just looking for attention. When you're punishing her you're giving her negative attention, so maybe in her mind, she's getting the attention she's seeking. When they're kids, any attention is good attention. Hopefully if you can talk to her, she'll open up to you and tell you why she steals. If that doesn't work, I'm at a loss. I hope this helps! Good luck!

J.,
Has her uncle and her babysitter sat down with her, right across from her and told her how disappointed they are, and surprised, and betrayed? I did this for a while when I was a kid, and until I connected in my brain that this was a trust violation, a betrayal of the trust of someone who loves me-- until I connected with the real PERSONAL consequences of doing that to someone who loves me and who TRUSTED me, I kept doing it. If you don't have trust from those around you, you don't have much. When you have the confidence of those around you, you can do anything.
Good luck,
S.