6 Year Old with Sleep Issues

I am a mother of four children. I was very consistent with my older child (12 years old now) and never let her sleep with me as a baby. It does not matter, as soon as she didn't have the sides on her crib she was crawling in our bed. My other 3 have been the same. The two most secure people in the house sleep together while the smallest, most insecure sleep by themselves. I understand legs flying. Possibly, you could put a small blanket and pillow in the corner of your room and let her know that when she gets scared to please come wake you so you can comfort her. Then when you think she is comfortable tell her she can sleep in the safe spot (or even lay on the floor with her for a few minutes). My 5 year old has been a faithful 12:30 in the morning child (all of her life). She has night terrors when she has to use the restroom. She has blood curdling screams and never wakes up. I have to carry her to the bathroom and hold her on the toilet while she is still screaming. If I show any frustration at all, she progresses to sobbing and screaming and will not calm down. I have learned that if I just follow through with getting her to pee and then lay down with her in her bed until she is fast asleep. She never remembers any of it. The time it takes is so little compared to what it was before we figured out she was having night terrors and wasn't even awake.

I would bring her to a store Target or Disney or even Walmart for her to pick out a cool girly night lamp just for her.DOes she have a nightlight? I found it to comfort my kids when they were little. Even a new teddy like a Build A Bear that she makes herself to comfort her..

Annie R

Hi C. ~

Is your daughter on medication for the acid reflux? I don't know anything about treating acid reflux in children, but do know that it can cause serious problems with adults if not treated and assume that would apply to children as well. Is her doctor aware of her condition and the problems it is causing? Does she have a wedged pillow which keeps her head and upper body elavated while she sleeps? This helps tremendously.

Do not give in on letting her sleep in your bed. Prayers, singing or reading goodnight story is fine, but she NEEDS to learn to comfort herself once you leave the room. You don't want to put a crimp in your own sleep (not to mention the impact it could have on your marital relations)! A nightlight is an EXCELLENT thing to have in her room, as well as a special stuffed animal, blanket or soft doll.

If the main reason she is waking up is because of the acid reflux, you really need to get a handle on that if at all possible. Again, I urge you to speak with the doctor. If she comes to your room comlaining of that, sit up with her until she feels better, then put her back in her own bed, otherwise she needs to go back to her bed right away. Be Strong! If you don't get a handle on this NOW, you will be doing your child a disservice, as well as yourselves. I wish you the best! ~ K.

Hi C.,

I would guess that your child is experiencing and unusually high anxiety level that needs attention.

Call your nearest children's hospital and see what therapist deals with Anxiety disorders in children.

Children's Hospital of the King's Daughers (CHKD) at ###-###-####

Hope this helps. Good luck. D.

My 7 yr old goes through this too. Sometimes there is no fight, but others... given on how insistant he gets, we stay with him for a bit. He also sleeps with a set of decorative string lights so his room isn't pitch black. When he asks to sleep in our room, we make him a spot on the floor. The only time he's allowed in the bed is when he's sick.
M.

For our six-year-old, we tell her she can come in for hugs but needs to sleep in her own bed. Our bed is way too small for three. I take her back to bed and then say "I'll keep you company for a few minutes" then I lie down with her for a while, she usually falls right to sleep. (sometimes we both do) Whoever's putting her to bed usually keeps her company for a few minutes after lights out: "I'll keep you company if you can be quiet and still."
If she says she's scared I'll try to get her to be specific about what she's scared of and point out that in 2,000 nights, her whole life, nothing bad has ever happened to her in bed. She also has a pretty bright night light in there, I got a vintage TV lamp and put a colored party bulb in it. The blue ones make it look like you're underwater!
Good luck-- and don't feel guilty about what happened when she was a baby. She doesn't remember it! But if you feel guilty about having her sleep alone, she'll pick up on that and get the idea that there IS something scary and bad about her own bed! Have confidence that putting her in her own bed is healthiest for her and you!
Just my 2 cents!

ps I love the sleeping bag idea!

We used to have to stay with our older child until she fell asleep and hated it. One night we were over at a friends for dinner and stayed until bedtime. We usually take our kids PJs and toothbrushes in a situation like that so if they fall asleep on the drive home, they're already ready for bed. So the kids wanted to take part in their friend's bedtime routine and we agreed. We adapted their routine and it has worked beatifully. We read books, we rub their backs for the duration of 2 songs played from a CD, and then we say good night. We leave the music playing and they fall asleep to it. The girls have stuffed animals that sit outside their door to keep watch over them while they sleep.

The other thing we do when the either of the kids wants to come in our room is to calm and comfort them first, but then say if they want to stay, they must sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor.
Good luck!

I"m figuring you have a night-light or are trying the many great night-light suggestions others have made here. What does she say she seems to be scared OF when she's scared at night? Just "the dark" or can you get her to be more specific? I've found that once the lights are off, even with a night-light, my daughter (7) sometimes gets scared because the night-light is creating shadows in the room, or something in her room that is fine and innocent by day suddenly looks odd and menacing in the half-light (we recently took down a cat banner she had on her door because the glittery eyes bothered her, but only when they "shone" in reflections at nighttime). Even a familiar sweater draped on a chair or a stack of books on the floor looks very different at night. So you might try to see if the issues is just "the dark" or something in her own room that "changes" in the dark. Other thoughts: "Dream spray" -- Water in a clean, unused spray bottle (don't reuse cleaner bottles etc.). She decorates it with loads of pretty stickers etc. and each night you spray the water (just a bit) into the air in her room with a little rhyme you can make up about how it will bring good dreams etc. If she's an imaginative kid this can work well and be a nice ritual. As for staying in her room with her -- my 7-year-old would love me to sleep with her every single night but knows it's not happenening though I do stay occasionally if she's stressed. What has helped has been putting stories on her CD player; she usually falls asleep during them. I only turn on the CD player as I exit the room. Don't spend a fortune on kids' story CDs; go to the library and change these occasionally, though your child may like the comfort of the same story over and over for a while before the novelty wears off and it no longer is such a comfort. Good luck!