About 6 months ago, my six-year-old son decided that he was afraid of monsters any time he is alone. This started when we had a visit from his younger cousin who has a lot of phobias, and I suspect he saw that she was getting a lot of attention. (I think his fear is sincere, but that's how it started.) As a result, he refuses to be by himself much of the time - he needs company when he's getting dressed, brushing teeth, needs to be walked to the bathroom (though oddly can be left alone once there with the door open). We have been trying to accomodate his requests for company without making too much of a big deal of it, in the hopes that we don't reinforce the behavior and it will go away on its own. But this has been going on for 6 months now and is showing no sign of going away! Any advice?
Thanks so much to everyone for your great suggestions! I ended up giving my son a spray bottle with water mixed with a bit of perfume, along with some little plastic eyes and feathers. I told him it was monster spray, and he really seems to enjoy using it (his room smells pretty nice for a change :)). I did tell him that there is no such thing as monsters, but I hoped the magic monster spray would help make the monsters in his imagination go away. He complained a little bit that the spray wouldn't work any more but I didn't want to go too far with suggesting monsters are real. Anyway, he still seems to find it helpful. Hopefully this problem will die down eventually, but in the meantime I'm enjoying the CK smell in his room. Thanks again everyone!
My son also had a fear of monsters when he went to bed at night. We have always kept his humidifier in his room so I told him it was the "anti-scare" machine. When it was plugged in and running, it would keep scary things away. We had to do this for at least a year but he has recently quit asking to have it on.
I son went through the same thing. I went and bought air freshner from the dollar store that had clouds on the bottle I told him that it is a monster shield and I would spray it under the bed, in the closet and in the basement when he would get scared. It worked for him, we used it for about 2 weeks and then he forgot all about his fear.
My three-year-old daughter does this, too, and I've found "weapons" work to empower her. I burn incense and tell her monsters are afraid of smoke and she has a small water bottle that she can squirt at the monsters (they don't like being clean...). She seems sincerely scared, although I really believe it's more about being lonely and wanting me to play. By making a bit of a game out of it, I'm trying to make the monsters less scary until they are really gone for her. Plus, I remember being scared as a child and my parents just being angry and not understanding, so I want her to know I take what she says seriously.
My husband came up with this trick...he claps his hands together in front of him and rubs them together as if doing a very serious, deep magical thing. When he claps them together and starts rubbing them, he says, "Monsteeeers..." then pulls his hands apart quickly and raises his arms into the air in a V and yells, "BE GONE!" I don't know where he came up with this, but it has actually worked for my two older children who went through the same thing!
Get an empty spray bottle fill it with water a couple drops of a soothing scent like lavender and one or two drops of food coloring. Then tell your son it is monster repellent. You can leave it in his room and he can use it as he feels he needs it. The lavender will leave a sooting aroma and the minimal amount of food coloring will not stain anything. Let him spray away. This will also empower him to "fight the monsters" himself without the use of weapons.
My six year old went through the same thing at around 5-5 1/2. He was the same as your son, almost to a "T" he even had to have his closet door open in his room, if it was closed he would be freaked out cause he couldn't see if there was anything in there, most kids like it closed. I told him no monsters exsisted, pointed out the obvious, and still he had this fear, he wouldn't even stay in the bathroom by himself he had to have his little sister in there with him. And then I got to the point you are at, so I told him that I was secretly a "monster slayer" and that my house was a monster free zone, no monsters could make it past our creek in front of the house, I don't think he believed me at first, but I kept telling him the same thing. Then I started to only walk him half way to the bathroom and would watch him the rest of the way, I told him if I saw any signs of the monsters that I would "save" him, of course we had no monsters they couldn't get past the creek. Slowly I would end up just having to watch him, and know he can do it on his own, it took a month maybe two but it did work. On the upside my Daughter hasn't had the same fears, cause "I am the "monster slayer" and we have no monsters.....right mommy". Thats all she needs to hear and she is good. Just a though and maybe a laugh! Good luck!
Buy him a new stuffed animal or toy and tell him that it will protect him from the monsters. This works for some kids, but not for others. Good luck!
That sounds tough and I'm not sure that I have any advice that will work, but I am reminded of the scene near the beginning of 'Patch Adams' where he shoots away the mean squirrels with his mental hospital roomie. Bringing a little humor to the table may be just the thing. Good luck!
First ask him if he has ever seen a monster. He will say "no" probably then explain monsters aren't real just on movies and TV shows. Then get him a spray bottle with water in it and have him go to the bathroom himself and so on and say if he sees a monster he can spray it, but only if he really sees it. Being it has been six mos and he is six, it is a little excessive and you are right not to make a big deal out of it, however being firm that he is a big boy and that you would never let a monster get him IF there were monsters is going to help him. If you go with him and do all this with him then he is getting the attention he is seeking and it may never end, hee hee.....My six year old went through a fear of weather, which was hard because we cannot control weather, however I educated here that hurricanes don't happen in Colorado, that tornadoes don't happen very often and that they haven't ever hit by our house. I keep reassuring her that I will always promise to protect her but cannot promise bad things won't happen. Educating their fears is the best medicine at this age, it empowers them. Good luck, hope it passes soon.
