7-Year Old Fear

Can you take her to a therapist or sleep expert? Maybe they can give you some tips and at least calm her nerves. Have you tried changing her bedding and room environment? Like new sheets, pillows, bright, pretty colors, a nightlight----dreamlights are great b/c they are stuffed animals too. Then set up a sticker chart with a reward at the end of the week. Each night she stays in her own bed, she gets a sticker. At the end of the week, she gets rewarded--whatever you two set up. GL!

My 9 yo grandson says he's frightened when it's bed time. His parents have tired several things to include letting him sleep on the floor in their room or in his sister's room. That was not working for anyone involved.
So they told him, when he was 8, that even tho he's frightened he has to sleep in his own bed. He has a night light and they leave his bedroom door open a ways.

With time he's adjusted to sleeping in his own room. He stills says, from time to time that he's frightened but he does go to sleep without difficulty.

I suggest that it's time to just accept that she's having difficulty with her feelings and give her a chance to deal with her fear herself. When you tell her that you're confident that she can be brave but yet continue to make allowances for her, you're telling her with your actions that you don't believe she can be brave.

I suggest that you tell her you know she's frightened and that you know she can handle her fear. Don't mention bravery. She knows she's not brave. Then put her in her own bed with a night light and leaving the door open. It will take time for her to manage this. Go in to her if she asks for you. Give her a hug. Remind her she can do this. And leave.
Gradually go in less often. It's like weaning her from her need to have you with her.

If you can, buy her a dog!

Dogs bring people and kids an enormous amount of comfort. Train the dog to sleep on a doggie bed in her room or like we have done, in the hallway in between our kids' two rooms!

My kids LOVE their 'guard dog' and have said on many occasion things like 'There is no way anyone or anything is getting into our house with our Brooksy'!!

Kids have these fears. Your daughter is normal. If a dog is out of the question, my advice would be to keep comforting her and going to her when she cries for you. She will only be this small and this scared for a short time. Keep encouraging her, that she will be OK. If you need to let Daddy talk to her and promise her that no one /or thing is getting in to his house or her room without getting through him first.

My husband used to tell our first 'set' of boys that if any monsters dare to come into his house that he would cook them in the oven and eat them with ketchup! Our second 'set' of boys + 1 girl, has never been that afraid b/c they have grown up with our BIG dog Brooks!!

I agree with getting her a dog if possible. I love having dog when I'm home alone, especially at night. If I think I hear something, I just look at the dog. If he doesn't react, I know I have nothing to worry about. It is VERY comforting!

My son went through this and I asked him what he was worried about...it was someone bad coming in our house. What worked for him was to jokingly talk about what we would do to the bad guys if they came in. We'd go over the top. He'd gleefully say things like I'd kick them in the butt and poke out their eyes and karate chop them. I'd make up what I would do to the bad guy. His dad would too. I'd tell him what our dogs would do to the bad guy. It would make him laugh and laugh. Then he would lay out all his toy guns and weapons in a semi circle around his bed and all his favorite stuffed animals on his bed to protect himself. That would make him feel better. All that other stuff you mentioned did not work for our son at all either. We don't have TV so it was not something he watched that started these fears - I have no idea how they started. Also, he would sleep with his light full on each night. He is 8 now and does not seem to have these fears anymore and can now sleep with the light off. PS - of course I would also remind him that NO bad guys are going to come in. That we live in a very very safe place. And that our doors are locked.

I wish I had some advice for you, but all I've got is understanding and sympathy. My daughter is the same way. She's now 10. She won't even stay home along for 5-10 minutes while I pick my son up. And won't be at one end of the house alone either. Good luck.

From about 2 years old, developmentally, kids have "fears." To things that don't make tangible sense to us, adults.
Yes, even at 7 years old.
I was like that too.
My parents knew I would grow out of it, and I did.
I have 2 kids that are 6 and 10.
They get like that too sometimes. But my 10 year old less so now, because she is 10.

And in school, kids tell all kinds of stories. And it can make other kids scared. That happened to my daughter once.

Or, put a mat on the floor of your room, and she can sleep there.
We did that with our kids.
They got sleep.
We got sleep.
They weren't IN our bed.
But they were in the room.
It was fine.

At a certain point I think it's ok to be a little tough on the situation, especially if you feel you've tried everything. Sit her down and tell her that you understand that she's frightened but you have done everything possible and now it's up to her. Plainly tell her that there is nothing to be frightened of in your home that it is safe and secure and that she needs to trust you on this. Get her a night light, leave her door open a bit, maybe even a cute little flash light for her bed side, but be firm and put your foot down.

Another little idea I just thought of, you can tell her that you'll check on her through the night, perhaps when you do leave a cute note for her to fine in the mornings.

I had to ask my daughter if she trusted me, if she loved me and if she knew that I loved her. I then told her that because I loved her I would never just let anything harm her and that she needed to trust that I could care for her and keep our home safe. I told her that I understood that sometimes you just can't help feeling uneasy about nothing at all, but that she needed to take a deep breath and remind herself that mommy and daddy are close by and they would never let anything hurt her. Of course I go to her if she calls, but at a certain point I just have to kiss her and tell her "no more, go to sleep".

Good luck to you.

nightlight, open door, hall light

It totally could be the tv. My 4 year old, who loves Spongebob and has for a while, saw one episode where these robots faces exploded and they looked mean, and that freaked him out for a month. He has watched all kinds of movies that I would have thought were scarier (like Ghostbusters), and has loved them with no fear. Who would have known one scene in Spongebob that was pretty tame would do that to him? Get her to explain to you why she is scared, try both when she is scared and when she is not. It took us a few nights to get him to explain exactly what had frightened him and why it was frightening him (he kept saying he was scared to dream, but he really meant just think about it), so I came up with other things for him to do while he was in bed (looking at a book, cuddling his animals, etc).

My daughter was affraid until we got our dog. When she was scared to go to another room alone or to her room we'd say take your dog she is there to keep you safe. The dog loved her and would follow her around. But the dark is still scary for them which is why I really never had an issue with putting the tv on with a g movie with the sleep button on. She'd fall asleep to it.