Oh, poor mama. I know your frustration. I've been there. But my frustration stemmed more from *thinking* my baby was supposed to be able to fall asleep on his own. I had so many people and magazines tell me that nursing him to sleep was spoiling him or letting him manipulate me. And people almost hit the ceiling when I admitted that I let him sleep on me. But for a long time these were the only two methods that worked for us. Once I realized all that was garbage and that nursing to sleep is NORMAL, WORKS GREAT, and is how babies are DESIGNED, I swear, my frustration faded. So I brought him to my bed and nursed him lying down so we could both sleep (which by the way, is the BEST sleep I've ever had! Even compared to now. When we weaned, I missed how easily nursing made naps and bedtime and especially those middle of the night wakings.
I am so anti-CIO (Crying It Out) and so frustrated with all the pro-CIO advice I see on this particular board that I just don't have the energy to rant like I normally would. Just let me assure that this time goes by so darn quick (although it doesn't feel like it to you now) that what feels like a burden (the nursing to sleep) is something you will one day miss. My baby never cried himself to sleep, nursed to sleep about 90% of the time, slept on me in a recliner or with me in bed 100% of the time. And at 2 years old, he sleeps great! And I sleep great!
Babies and young children need to be PARENTED to sleep, not just put to sleep. Here are some great links to my favorite websites, kellymom and Dr. Sears.
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing.html
Here's an excerpt:
"Many moms feel guilty for nursing their baby to sleep. Nursing your baby to sleep is not a bad thing to do! It's very normal and developmentally appropriate for babies to nurse to sleep and to wake 1-3 times during the night for the first year or so. Some babies don't do this, but they are the exception, not the rule....Nursing is obviously designed to comfort baby and to help baby sleep, and I've never seen a convincing reason why mothers shouldn't use this wonderful "tool" that we've been given."
This one is great, it's called 8 INFANT SLEEP FACTS EVERY PARENT SHOULD KNOW
http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp
I also recommend the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley and "Good Nights" by Jay Gordon.
************ edited to add ******************
STAY AWAY FROM THESE BOOKS: Babywise by the Ezzo's and The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. Oh, geez, don't even get me started on Gary Ezzo, he is a friggin idiot. There is an entire anti-Ezzo movement that includes the church that once supported him. Check out this link for more on him http://www.ezzo.info/
Tracy Hogg's book is not as bad but she's too much into "training" and her advice is not always breasfeeding friendly.