7 Yr Old Son Learning Bad Words at School Considering Home Schooling Him!!!!

Isn't it too bad, that a simple word like "gay" has come to have such negative connotations?

What better way to start teaching him the CORRECT word usage... by explaining that sometimes people use words in mean ways.

Sheltering him from other children isn't going to teach him this..... by you keeping an open line of communication, and teaching him that some people are different is a better way.

Yes, he does need to learn that it isn't right to say "That's so gay!" and stuff like that... or to call a person "gay" just because they are different....

I would use this as a teaching moment and ask him if he knows what those words mean? And if he does not, then look them up together and discuss that gay used to mean happy but now is used when people of the same sex love each other. And sex can just mean that - being a boy or girl, not having sex. You could also lead into a discussion about changing bodies and that sex is something for grown ups and these are the signs of being a grown up (there are lots of good books geared to boys or girls on the subject of puberty and sex for different ages). I think keeping information from him in this day and age when any kid can walk up to a library computer and Google what they want to know will not work, you are much better off preparing him for what it means. If the words were used in a teasing situation, ask him how he feels about teasing or being teased. Maybe mention it to the teacher and ask her opinion on what level to explain this to a 1st grader. But homeschooling is quite the commitment and I would not do it simply because my kids heard bad words. I remember a friend telling me at about that age what sex really meant and that mom and dad did this thing, and I could not believe it and did not speak to my friend for weeks. He will find out, he may as well find out from you, whether he is in public school or homeschooled.

you can homeschool if you choose, there's nothing at all wrong with it if done correctly.

however.

arbitrarily removing him from anything you are uncomfortable with will never teach him how to deal with these things. my son is 5. he's known there are words he is not allowed to say, since he was about 3.

our job is to teach them. not hide everything unpleasant from them. 7 is plenty old enough to be responsible for the words that come out of his mouth. it's your job to set rules and responsibilities, and enforce them.

I learned bad words at Church Camp, BUT, I knew they were bad words and so I did not use them.

My parents had taught me that there was certain language that even if we hear an adult use, children do not use them..

I recall in our daughters 1st grade a little boy called her and a little friend "B's" on the school track.. I was so furious. I spoke with the teacher and she told this boys teacher.. The teacher was one of the most beloved teachers on campus. She called him in and sad to him. "I was told something that has upset me very much." 'I want you to tell me what you called the girls on the track yesterday.".. He at first would not do it.. She encouraged him and he repeated the word. She told us she said to him, "
I am so surprised. You are such a good by, with such a nice family and I am so disappointed that you would even know that word, but to call 2 of you schoolmates such an ugly word has really hurt my feelings. ",, Of course she said he was so embarrassed and ashamed and promised to never use that word again. He wrote apology letters to the girls as well as apologized in person to them.

He is a Senior in Seminary School now. He is a beautiful young man and plans on continuing his education..His father is a Deacon in the church and I adore his mother.. This was just one of those learning moments for these children. Should I have pulled our daughter out of school because of it? Was it real bullying? I do not think so .. They were only 6 and 7..

There are lots of reasons to homeschool.. Bad teaching, unsafe school environment.. but poor language is something that can happen anywhere.. even in a religious environment.

Gay and Sex are not bad words. They are words that have actual meanings in our lives. Your son needs to know what they mean so he can either not use them or at least be able to use them correctly.

I don't think homeschooling a child to shelter him from the real world is a valid reason really.

In first grade, a little boy told my daughter that he thought she was sexy. She came home and told us. We discussed what it meant and why it wasn't appropriate for him to be talking that way. She's 23 now and survived all those years in school. And it was a Christian school too!

Your child needs to be exposed to the real world and taught how to deal with it. At 7 he should be able to understand the meaning of words and what to do with them if they are inappropriate. If you shelter him by homeschooling him he'll eventually hear these things when he's much older, and not know how to react. I think homeschooling is a great thing, but not when it is to shelter a child.

Ummm....sex isn't a bad word. You are going to have to talk to him about it sooner or later. In fact, I just had that conversation with my 6 year old a couple of weeks ago.
Gay isn't a bad word either. It's a fact of life that a percentage of our population is gay.
If your son came home and started dropping the "F" bomb then I would be a bit more concerned, but certainly not concerned enough to pull him out of school! That's a chance to talk with him about words that some uneducated people use and how it makes them sound and how your family doesn't use those words.
L.

B D

What is wrong with him saying "sex" and "gay"? They are NORMAL words. He WILL learn them ANYWHERE...instead of sheltering him (which this is what you are doing in my opinion) use this as a learning moment, a teaching moment - teaching him your family values and rules.

A few decades ago the word "gay" meant happy.
Sex - forms to fill out - sex of applicant. These are NORMAL EVERYDAY words. Do people use them 'everyday'? Not always. But these are not, in my opinion, bad words.

Do you want to home school him to make it easier for him? that's the way I read it. If you want him to go to college, then you will have to get the certified courses - there are groups that home school as well...meeting at churches for sports, etc.

Social life and friends? Again - sheltering him. You can guide and teach him. Lead by example. The more you try and protect him - the harder it will be for him to adjust when he does grow up...I'm all for protecting my children...but I also want them to be able to handle themselves, make decisions for themselves, when they are around kids that don't make good decisions? They can make the choice to be friends or not. They talk to me about some of the things kids do - they tell me what they think of them. So ask your son what HE THINKS of these words. Don't "lead" him, let him express himself. Then when he asks what YOU think - you can tell him.

Instead of sheltering him - lead by example, use moments when he uses a "bad" word as a value teaching moment...he will learn how to walk away from kids that he can feel won't be right for him. At 7, kids know...they are learning....let him learn.

I'm confused you are concerned that your son is hearing words that he will also hear walking down the street? You are also concerned that he will learn too much so you want an easier curriculum?

If you cannot teach your child right from wrong words at home how do you hope to generally educate them as well?

SEX and GAY are not bad words!!! I was waiting for the swear words I thought were coming in your post, I had to read it twice to understand.
Your son needs you to talk to him about what those words mean in an age appropriate way. You need to balance whatever he's hearing at school with real information. He is seven years old, plenty old enough to have a general idea of what those words mean.
I'm really shocked by your post as I cannot relate to your position at all. You have an opportunity to have an open conversation with your son. If you don't feel comfortable talking generally about those subjects in an age appropriate way to your 7 year old then good luck down the road because the topics get much more complicated and the words much harder to explain. Please don't homeschool because you don't want to have to talk to him about things that make uncomfortable. If there are really other reasons then you have a big decision to make as homeschooling is a huge commitment and not something to be taken lightly.

You can't keep him from learning this part of life by homeschooling him, unless you don't allow him to watch TV, read books that you own at home, and keep him from having any friends. You'll end up with a bubble boy.

Instead, take him to church. Talk about what is and isn't appropriate and why. Instead of telling him that gay is bad and sex is bad, tell him age appropriate stuff with your beliefs, but leave out stuff that demonizes people whose lifestyles you disagree with. Yeah, there are plenty of people who are happy to tell their kids that so-and-so is going to hell because he or she is gay, but then your child will end up hating a group of people who never did anything to him. So unnecessary.

Even if you put him in a Christian school, he is going to learn stuff that you aren't ready for him to learn. That's part of YOU being his mom. We as moms have trouble letting our kids grow up. You use stuff like his as "teachable moments". That is how you help a child learn how to navigate life. A kid who faces no challenges has a devil of a time when they finally leave home.

Dawn

Unless you put him in a closet with no interaction with society in general, he will hear these words somewhere. He just has to be taught the difference in good words and bad words.
As far as cost, if you are a home owner and pay taxes you will continue to 'pay' for school whether he is there or not.
I understand your concern, our son dealt with at a young age. Continue to be the good parent you are and he will be fine.

The one reason NOT to homeschool is just to keep kids away from bad influences.

Yes, a perk of homeschooling is they don't get the bad influences, but its hardly worth the SUPER HARD work it is to homeschool unless you're doing it for many more reasons, such as being determined to give him more knowledge than he would get in school. And doing that adequately is a VERY HARD new full time job for you. Do not take it lightly just because he is hearing some swear words. Also, I homeschool. My oldest daughter is only 5, but we are in a homeschool network and meet with older kids sometimes. She hears those words. She also hears them from some of our adult friends, and in the gym daycare, and at the playground, and in karate class and more activities to come. We explain the meaning, and let her know what she's allowed to say or not. Do not pull you son just because he hears bad words.

Study up on homeschooling-it takes a long time to get through all the information for each unique child and look into the many curriculums. At your son's age, school is serious and there is a lot of work. Be sure you know what that work is before you make this choice. We are doing a parent led system, and it's not cheap!!! We utilize the library a lot, but there are lots of programs I need and books the library doesn't have. We do lots of activities that take admission, I have her in other classes and tutors...in the end, it's probably similar to private school. There are cheaper ways to go, but the more you get creative and cut corners, the more work it is for you. Sometimes you need to just order the whole "new" thing (book, teacher manual, whatever) and be done with it rather than checking around for deals.

It's very labor intensive. That's all I'm saying. But great. Just be you're prepared.

I wouldn't homeschool my child because someone is using bad language at his school. My son is 6 and comes homes telling me each day that some child cursed and I always ask him what did you do? He says that he tells the teacher. One day I asked him what did he do in aftercare and he said listen to the kids curse. He said that's all they do is curse. I just told him that he knows right from wrong and is not to do what other kids do. I told him to be himself and not try to fit in with the other kids by cursing too. At this age, the kids think it's funny that's why they keep doing it. This is a catholic school and you just can't shield your child from this type of behavior. When I go to work, some of my "professional co-workers" curse like a sailor. I just can't quit, I just know how to deal with those individuals by choosing not to listen to all that stuff. Just keep talking to your son and tell him that he can find better words to say. Allow him to go through these experiences so that he will know how to deal with people in his adulthood.

I would not home school a child for this reason. To me this is a learning tool on how to teach your values and that there are different types of people in the world. You may think 7 is terribly young, but puberty begins at about 9. I feel it's best to be exposed and deal with things.

Is this your oldest child? Every Mom wants to protect her first child the most and is shocked when they bring home bad words. However, at some point, your child is the one that knows a bit too much and brings home a bad influence on your younger kids. It is then you realize you can't protect your kids from everything. Just do the best to teach them your values and understand they start learning about life earlier than you had expected.

I wouldn't overreact. That will just make your child more interested in what you don't want him interested in. Direct your child in the right direction and relax.

I think you are overreacting, but I mean it in a nice way! There is no way to shelter your kids from that. Our neighbors shild in HS will play basketball out side and his mouth is horrible. Every other word is F this and that. my husband has considered telling him to watch his mouth, but we just go innside bc I would like to keep peace. If you want to home school, do it for the right reasons. Also, if you do, try to get involved in a homeschool association. They do planned activities and it is a great social outlet for your son. Also, they even mention the word sex and gay in tv, commercials. He could have picked them up from a ED commercial.

I wouldn't consider sex or gay bad words at all. In fact, I think that kids need to understand what these words mean in a context appropriate to their age. If this is your only issue with the school, then I would just keep him there. I truly believe that kids need the social aspects of school just as much as the academic.

Sorry but in my opinion, you can't shelter your son from everything, home school him just because he learned some words that you don't like is crazy. If you teach your son responsibility, the correct use and meaning of words and if he learns swear words teach him that those are not the type of words that your family uses. If he needs an explanation as to what a word means then give him an age appropriate explanation and leave it at that. If you make it so secretive and off limits, it will just make him more curious and more likely to use those words than if you are more open and truthful with him.

Gay and sex? seriously bad words?

We have very different definitions of the term 'bad words'. Our kids know there are grown up bad words and kid bad words. Kid bad words include Shutup, cry baby, I hate you...

Then we have grown up words that cannot be used until they know the true meaning...sexy is one of those. It's awkward and shocking when a first grader comes home saying words we have chose not to teach them. However, sex and gay in our house are not on he cannot use list. Sexy is! Big difference in the two.

However, taking your child out of school because of words may be the answer for you but is it the answer for your child? Seems you're running away from having to own up to teaching your child about words that are uncomfortable for you...

I hope you find the answers you are looking for but remember he's not going to be able to run away from these situations in college or the workforce.

Wow, you are lucky! My daughter was five when she asked us what sex was because one of her friends told her all about it. We told her what it is was in terms she could understand at the time, and I talked to the little boys mom about it. I did not pull her out of school, and she is in the fifth grade now. She has been fine and she knows what sex really is now because they start teaching about it in fourth grade.
I would use this time to have open communication with him about sex. If you shelter him from it now, he will think it is bad and will not talk to you about it when he is older. If you shelter him he will/could have culture shock when he is old enough to be around friends on his own. You have to teach him right and wrong when stuff like this comes up.

We did choose to homeschool because we don't like the public school system and how it was failing our daughter. We also did not like the social attitudes of the kids at school.

I would hope that there is more to your decision to homeschool than learning a few words you don't care for. Homeschooling is a big life changer for everyone. It can be rewarding, difficult, time-consuming and amazing.

I will admit that I like the social change I've seen in my daughter since removing her from public school. She's outgoing, friendly, can talk to people of all ages and she hangs around with people that share our similar values.

However, she is not "sheltered" so she has heard/learned bad words, she's dealt with being left out, leaving other kids out, fighting with a friend etc. The only difference is we are there to GUIDE her. We can't PROTECT her, but we can guide her.

So if you're into homeschooling so you can have more control over your child's education, give them the extra help they need, let them go at their own pace, follow their own interests and to guide them in their choices then those are valid reasons.

But you can't really protect them from the world. Because it's right outside your door.

Great advice so far.

I hope you've heard enough so far to convince you that these are the wrong reasons to homeschool your child. The "bubble boy" (per Dawn) approach won't work -- your child is going to have to learn to deal with the real world eventually. These are what we call "teaching moments." As little things like this come up, we explain them to our kids and teach them our values surrounding these things. There is nothing wrong with sex (daddy and mommy loving each other) and gay (a boy loving daddy like mommy does, or a girl loving mommy like daddy does), so I don't see any reason for you to shelter your child from these things.

I think you CAN home-school your son, but not in the way you're considering. I think you can send him to public school for his education in math, science, literature, history and all the other classes, but at home, teach him your values and teach him about the world he will encounter. Teach him how to respond when hurtful words are hurled at other students. Teach him how to act when he hears a discussion that is not appropriate.

You don't want him running away just because he heard a "bad" word, and you don't want him joining in or sitting passively by when he sees or hears bullying. And you don't want him to be afraid to be in public because he'll hear words that are inappropriate. Teach him to stand up for what's right, and to use positive words. Use the days when he hears the words you oppose as teachable days, and keep the communication open. Let him know he can ask you questions and discuss even the sensitive issues with you. Don't be afraid of the word "gay", for example, but teach your son what it means when it is used today, and how it's wrong to bully somebody by calling them that. Teach your son what your family's values and beliefs are, but also teach him that other people deserve respect and kindness, regardless of their actions. You don't have to agree with someone to treat them with dignity and politeness.

Because unless you keep him in a closet, he is going to hear a lot of terrible things. I was in the grocery store the other day and these 3 pre-teens were grabbing sodas and the words that came out of their mouths were horrendous, and loud! There were no adults with them. And I was simply in the grocery store.

Make your son a strong, kind-hearted, bold young man and you will have schooled him in the best way possible.

I think you need to sit down and evaluate all the reasons one might homeschool and if you can really do it. It is not a quick fix. He might learn words you don't like on the playground. Will you keep him in your yard? I'm not saying don't consider homeschooling, but I'd look at the big picture. So many people rush into homeschooling and don't really have the skills for it. Those that are successful do things like tag-team parental strong suits, put their kids in a public school for certain classes, or co-op the teaching.

I also think that more than what he's learning word-wise is your reaction to those words. Did you freak out or did you explain to him what words he cannot or should not use and why? He'll hear "hell" and "damn" and many other words on the radio or in commercials before you know to turn the channel. Rather than never turn on the radio, we've taught the kids to filter themselves and why. My SD has a whole iPod playlist of songs she knows she can play in front of her baby sister.

Further, you can talk to the teacher and ask if it's rampant in the school or just a few kids. We got a letter from SD's elementary school detailing that the school decided that "gay" being a derogatory term was not allowed in their school (as in "that's so gay") and please discuss this policy with your children. We had a long talk with the kids about words, their uses, their meanings and what we felt on the topic. It may be something already on the teacher's radar.

Like someone else said, your values are something you will teach him every day, day and night, for the rest of his childhood. You don't need to trade in his school for that.

Well, what age did you learn the words sex and gay and their meanings? I remember my mom had some gay friends when I was in Kindergarten/1st grade and I learned the meaning of the word gay. It was just a factual word to me. As for sex...I honestly cannot remember but it seems like age 7 is about the age kids learn what that words mean. This is the time you talk to your son about what words you do not want to hear him say...what is appropriate and inappropriate. My 7 year old son has learned some swear words this year at school and he knows he is not allowed to say them. He will point out to me if he hears someone saying one and he thinks it's funny. Anyway, I would not homeschool my child for that reason. This is a part of growing up.

I don't think you can shelter your child from hearing things. I mean, kids will hear words in the grocery store that you might not use in your home. You explain WHY you don't use those words.
I'll never forget the day I had my son in the waiting room at the doctor's office with me. I was filling out some forms and he asked me what sex is. My first thought was, "Oh no....you seriously did NOT just ask me that right now of all times." Before I could say anything, he pointed to the place on the form that said, "SEX: M______ F_______" .
All his question required was me explaining that because I'm a girl, my sex is female and because he's a boy, his sex is male.
There was nothing dirty about his question and nothing dirty about my answer. Sex isn't necessarily a bad word.

As far as the word gay....it depends on how it's being used in a sentence. It can mean happy and joyful. If it's being applied to a person, I taught my kids that we are NEVER to call a person, especially another child that word if it's being used in a way that could hurt someone.
I think kids use certain words because they have no understanding of what they mean and kids who don't use those words refrain because it's been explained to them why they aren't appropriate to use in certain contexts.

I wouldn't homeschool based solely on hearing certain words.
There are all kinds of words out in the world and kids will hear them eventually.

That's just my opinion.

It's one of the MANY, MANY reasons we homeschool. We go through an online school (Minnesota Virtual Academy) that is part of the K12 program, which has schools in almost every state. The curriculum is very advanced, you can work at your own pace (within reason, of course...you still have to complete a years work in a years time, but you can go ahead if your child is wanting), there are plenty of opportunities for parent supervised social activities...and the best?

It's free. They provide us with ALL the curriculum, and that includes textbooks, workbooks, teacher's guides, science lab equipment, math manipulatives, reading material (all the literature books, etc)...everything. This also, for our school (and most) includes a computer, monitor, and printer/scanner. Return shipping when you are done with each course is ALSO free. It's very structured, in the sense that you are doing more than a public school does...but unstructured, as in...what works for you.

I mean, I'm on mamapedia right now. :) My child is planting bean seeds to keep a germination record for science, and my toddler is coloring. How great is that? :) We absolutely love it!!!

It's the best of both worlds. She's at home, I am teaching her, but I have a top notch curriculum to follow (and to which I can supplement, though I haven't felt much need as it's very comprehensive), support of a teacher should I need one (they have homeroom meetings, assignment share meetings, etc, all online). In the younger grades (K-3) most of their work is done offline. I am online far more, to get lesson plans, etc.

If you want more info, send me a message. :)

I'm sure B.D. is referring to how the words were used. Calling somebody "gay"...not the worst thing in the world....but I don't think it's too cool. Probably a huge percentage of 7yo's don't even know what gay means. And we don't allow the children in our family to say it either. As far as sex...hopefully no one using this word was referring to having sex with their classmate.....but you never know. I would never go as far as taking my child out of school because of this....like someone said...they hear the words...know they are wrong....and don't use them. That's how it should be.

I've considered home schooling because I feel our school is failing the kids on certain levels, not because they're learning "bad" words.

From my research, if you were to teach him, you can get a lot of materials online for free. (You just have to print them out.) To have him take computer classes, you have to pay for them. (At least from what I've seen. Maybe some of the homeschooling mamas know something I don't.)

Good luck with whatever you decide!

i was home schooled and it was awful please dont do this to your child b/c of a few words. go talk to his teacher see if she knows who he is getting it from and have her talk to the parents. its their job to connect with parents good luck!

our son was in a traditional school setting til a few years ago, when his educational needs were STILL not being met. our family has made some sacrifices that were needed in order to give home education a try. but, the dedication we've extended towards my son's educational, social, & emotional "wellness" has been well worth every moment of our time.

you'll be disappointed if you choose to home school from an assumption your child would not hear certain words or not be exposed to particular situations as he/she would in a typical school environment. initially, i was very nervous about the strange vision i had of the strange world called "home schooling" & certainly had an unrealistic & unsettling perception of home education. for starters, most home schoolers are NOT sheltered (as i 1st thought) in many cases they are actually exposed to more opportunities for various educational & life experiences, as well as exposure, understanding, & appreciation to the many diversities among our society & community. my son still deals with real life challenges & typical childhood issues, fortunately i'm usually near by for guidance & i'm also more aware of topics needing further discussion before things may become an "issue"- versus my child being inappropriately guided by various members of a large peer group that he would share a large part of his day-5 days a week.

i was quite surprised at the enormous number of opportunities in our area for home schoolers (outside of our home!). the priceless life experiences, classes, activities, support, & limitless options in curriculum can be overwhelming at first but, also very exciting & encouraging as you continue moving forward.

costwise-it can be surprisingly affordable if you choose to dig your heels in & not fearful of being resourceful. the more you look into curriculum online & reach out among the home school community you will be more than prepared with top notch curriculum options that you can customize, picking & choosing what best fits your child's individual child's needs & what speaks best to his/her individual style of learning. just like many other things, it can be as expensive as you allow it to be, if that's your choosing.

there's countless groups available for family support & many groups also offer regular ongoing opportunities that include structured & unstructured activities for kids. of course, some optional classes & field trips will cost money - but, there's still many things offered at no or little cost that allows positive social interaction.

yes...it is a big commitment but, in our situation the positives have certainly outweighed any negatives.as i mentioned, our decision was based off my son's educational needs...but, we've been pleased with the MANY advantages to home schooling our son beyond our original motivation. the fact we've chosen to home school hasn't changed our family much, other than my son's likes learning again, self motivated & more independent, his standardized test scores are amazing, he's no longer limited to learn within 4 walls, he interacts extremely well with children of all ages & adults, and is more self aware of right & wrong. i guess i could also add that it he seems to be more civilized versus "socialized" since we changed his day to day environment.

i get a kick out of people that think they must be in a traditional school setting to be socially adapt kids that are exposed to "real" life & "real" life issues. i have been pleasantly surprised at how typical & normal my son is & not a "weird" home school kid that i find many people assume ALL home school kids (& families) must be. it's also been shocking to discover the number of FORMER public school teachers, who have chosen to home school their own kids. Honestly, some of these formal/trained Teachers have opted to home school their own children because of socialization concerns among kids in many typical school settings-how ironic!

i must say home schooling isn't for everyone, though. it isn't always as beneficial or as positive for all kids/families as it has been for us-you have to WANT to make it work, have a clear motivation for your decision, be invested in the decision with reasonable expectations, & more than anything...it has to be "working" for all of you-the teaching parent, the child/student, and the family dynamics in general. there's nothing wrong with a traditional school environment if it is working for your child. there's many wonderful & caring teachers available to our kids in schools. consider most of us that were not home schooled still turned out a-ok & became successful, competant members of society with beautiful families. that said, be sure you've inquired & encouraged a lot of open communication to have the best understanding possible why home schooling MAY be a good option at this point in your child's education & personal well being.

you are certainly off to a good start by asking questions, seeking more information to consider, & being open for all kinds of feedback. wherever your heart guides you, i wish you & your family the very best!