8 Month Old Son Not Sleeping Thru the Night.

At 8 months he doesn't NEED to eat every 3 hours-- esp at night--so he is just accustomed to waking up then and doesn't know now to get himself back to sleep. We all wake up in the middle of the night--it's learning how to get back to sleep that your baby has to learn and if he normally goes to sleep by you rocking him--they that the only way he know how to get to sleep. SO yes, you rocking him to sleep is the only thing he knows so when he does wake up, and doesn;t get rocked, he doesn't know how to get back to sleep!

So you need a plan to teach him to go to sleep and get back to sleep on his own. The basic Crying it Out is obviously not working for him or your and your husband--so I would try some variations that should ease him into the process of learning to sleep on his own, without you having to hear him cry for hours on end. It is a process though and really depends on the temperament and age of the baby at how long it takes to "train" them.
One or many posts on this site will give you a lot of DIFFERENT things to try, but what you need is one plan, and then to stick to it because CONSISTENCY is the the key here. Nothing will work in one or two nights--so trying one thing one night and something else the next is just going to frustrate everyone. So find something that you can commit too, and then stick to it!

(hehe, I've read so much on this subject since my infant did not want to nap/sleep either, but now I have a very easy to put to bed/nap toddler)
Read the following book: Good Night, Sleep Tight
http://www.amazon.com/Good-Night-Sleep-Tight-Helping/dp/B...

It's a great book that will help you and your husband devise a routine and plan to teach your child to sleep on his own--for some kids this comes easy, for others its a learning process all the way.
But read the book and see if it's something you can and want to do, then discuss it with your husband and commit to doing it. If you don't commit to this book there are a couple of other books/plans I would read and then decide on one to stick to.
There are two Baby Whisperer books that are similar but give you some different techniques that worked for us:
http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Baby-Whisperer-Connect-Comm...
http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Whisperer-Solves-Your-Problems...
Unfortunately, you need to read both though since the first one will set you up with her techniques, but the second one really dives into helping parents with older infants and pitfalls they may have come across.

Babywise is what I read first, and though it is a great foundation, I found that it doesn't give too much leeway based on a baby's personality and doesn't give you any plans of action--just the idea of establishing a routine with eating and sleep and teaching the child by letting them Cry it out--yes routine with sleeping and eating is KEY. And sometimes CIO is the only way for a child to go back to sleep, but I found these other books gave some more in depth plans and techniques to use which made the process easier on both the child and parent.

Anyways good luck! I hope all of you find sleep soon!

mY 58 YO HUSBAND STILL GETS UP SEVERAL TIMES A NIGHT TO EAT, USUSALLY PENUTBUTTER ND CRACKERS

I know it seems bad but i had the same problem with my first son he is now eight. The doctor is right you have to let the baby cry until he falls asleep it takes about three days but it does work i promise and yes i know it iis very hard but it does work. Don't let your daycare provider let him sleep no longer than two hours for a nap just one time a day,even though he would probably would like to sleep longer. By the end of three days if not less he will be sleeping threw the night on his own. Just don't give up i know it is hard but you can do it.

HI H.,
Believe it or not, we "teach and train" our kids how/when to sleep....based on what he do and respond to every day. It becomes their schedule and pattern. They are very smart...even at the youngest of age! I have five...and the "tried and true" method of "making them" sleep has worked! period! its NOT fun....and it wears on your nerves/emotions when it gets tough...but there is no other way....unless they just "change" but its rare. My twins were gems, took then 5 minutes, little crying at 5 months and they slept through the night, one other son took 30 min of pure screaming to finally konk out...my fourth...geesh...hour and 1/2 and my husband had to barricade the door from letting me go in...so I got a monitor to watch him to make sure.....our princess....maybe 20-30 min to finally give in. But YOU set the bar...they will cry and cry and cry....thinking mom or dad will come in "any minute" and guess what...YOu DO!! and he/she knows it! so they know "ok, it takes 20 min and she gives in"....but if you take one to two weeks and just "bare" the crying and screaming....watch then on the monitor to make sure they aren't covered up, etc...if they get covered up, go in, uncover, dont talk and go right out...or just say "night night, i love you"...they will CHANGE and do it! but if you go in and cant take it..YOU set the BAR and it will rest at that standard every night. YOu will never train then to self-sooth and you will be miserable with NO SLEEP for life...because they will grow up at 2, 3, 4 ,5 and do it all night, thinking its okay and NEEDING mom or dads security! again, I have five and my rest is peaceful....when one gets up, its for a nightmare....and he needs mom/dad! but hardly ever...even my princess, sleeps from 7p to 7a! wonderful....the method works...so train then right and at 8 months, YOU should be sleeping like a BABY! hope that helps!

H.,
The only thing that worked for my older two boys was to let them cry it out. Teaching your son to put himself back to sleep will make him sleep better. My two year old knows when it's bedtime and he tells us he is ready to have his blanket. He sleeps from 8-7:30. When we let him cry it out it was awful. He has a temper and he cried for the longest time the first night maybe over on hour. The next night it was about 30 min, then even less the next, until the fourth night he was sleeping thru the night. Just get in a place where he can't see you, but you can see him and get a book to read. You'll be so glad you did.

Dear H., have you considered that this is actually not a problem that needs to be fixed? Your baby is not sleeping through the night because he is not developmentally ready to do so. My guess is that your older child slept through the night sooner and that is one of the reasons that you are so focused on this. He is not capable of manipulating you at this age. There is nothing wrong with trying several options to see if they will work, but when our children don;t respond it is OK to just use the tincture of time and let go. It is no reflection on you as a parent or him as a baby that he is not sleeping yet. If it wasn't disruptive to you, honestly would you even be concerned about it? Of course it would be great for us as parents if children all acted like what they are not (which is children!) but that is part of being a parent. This includes meeting their needs, whatever time of day or night, whether it is the most convenient thing or not.

Please don't let your baby cry. There is so much research that demonstrates the short and longterm harm in this. Current cultural practices do not reflect what is best for your baby as a biological creature. I would stop asking your pediatrician for parenting advice. This is not his (her) area of expertise. Look at some other sources of information on this topic; look beyond the dominant cultural attitudes and learn more about what your baby really needs from you. Do some research on responsive, attachment parenting: there is a lot of good information out there! And most of all just relax and let it go; this too shall pass!

Good luck,
J.

H.,
It sounds like the reason why your baby is waking up so often to eat is because that's what he is used to getting. Even when you have tried other things like pacifier, soothing toys ect... you are teaching him to be reliant on someone else to get him back to sleep.

Humans wake up all through the night periodically and come to different levels of conscienceness and then roll over and go back to sleep.. Most times, we don't even realize we've done it. Before a baby has learned to soothe himself to sleep, he or she will cry everytime they wake up for someone to come along and put him back to sleep. You are doing it for him so he is not going to learn to do it himself as long as you keep doing it.
Now this is where you will get many different opinions on how to train your baby to learn to put himself back to sleep. I will tell you how I did it, not because I think It is the only "right" way, but because I know it worked for me and it has worked for MANY other people.
When I was certain that my baby was just waking up out of habit and not a real need like eating (and at 8 months, he probably doesn't need to eat at night), then I would let them cry. The plan was that I wouldn't go in or let them see me at all. With two of my children this worked because they only cried for about 45 minutess at first (never screaming, only whineing/cry), and then they fell asleep. But with one of my babies, he SCREAMED for like 30 minutesw and I couldn't stand it anymore. I went in and laid him on his belly and patted his back till he fell asleep (5 minutes) adn then left the room. ALl of them woke up again in a couple hours and I let them cry again. My "screamer" gave a stronger fight, but eventually stopped crying and went to sleep, though not as soon as the others did.
The point is they are all different and you can't really say exactly HOW to do it with each child. But one thing I did learn is that you shouldn't try it if you are just going to give in and keep going back to him everytime he wakes up. Why put him adn you through that stress if you aren't going to stick with it? Giving him all the "crutches" like pacifier, toys, patting, rocking, will just prolong the process of him doing it on his own.
Be prepared for some rough nights, but it only last for the first three or four times.
All five of my children are happy, healthy and secure children. I have close bonds with them all so this in no way effected our realationship.
One more thing, if you are doing it this way, do it at naptime too because it's all the same to him.
You can send me a message if you have any other questions. I know I rambeled here, but I really do have a lot more to say about this subject if your interested.
Best wishes ~C.~

Our daughter was the same way. I asked our Dr. what to do and he said she was "working us".... he said she should be able to sleep through the night except for one feeding at 8 months.

He told us to start her a routine so she'd get used to it. He said it would take three nights. We started on a Friday night and it ended up being a breeze.

He said to feed her, then do her bath, then books and bed. This way food isn't associated with having to go to sleep. He also said put her down awake so she is used to it. He said go to her every 10 mins or so but not to rock her. He said to comfort her, make sure she has her binki and blanket and say "night night."

It worked like a champ. At one he said she'd be able to go the entire night without waking and he is right.

When it came to ditching the bottle - he said we could do the same thing - either cold turkey or over weeks progression. We chose cold turkey and it worked great again. Good luck and I hope you get other responses that help you both! You need sleep or you're going to go insane!

Hi H.! I will say right off the bat I'm not a fan of letting a little one cry it out. Now that's not to say there is never some crying but you know. I used some of the info/tips from "The No-Cry Sleep solution" Also, does he nap during the day? I found with my son once I got him napping consistently during the day the night started to fall into place. Sleep gets you sleep! We also have to teach them how to sleep. They don't just know how as crazy as that sounds. Napping during the day,maybe twice a day for atleast an hour each time, and a strong bedtime routine such as feeding, bath, getting ready for bed with soft lighting, soothing music. We literally did and said the same thing every single night. This is how they learn what to expect. I always rocked my son to sleep too and he learned to sleep thru the night/put himself back to sleep in about 6 weeks at the age of about 7 mos.

Try the book "Helping Your Child Sleep Through the Night" Joanne Cuthbertson & Susie Schevill ISBN 0-385-19250-9
It is great and has different chapters for starting at different ages. I know several people who have used it successfully; my son is 21 months and sleeps 12 hours at night. Good Luck!

Check out a book called Babywise by Gary Ezzo. It worked for all three of our kids. We found that the crying, even to the panic state, only lasted 3-4 nights when we were consistent about not nursing/feeding the baby in the night. It was very traumatic to listen to them cry, but unless you are aware of some kind of serious health problem with the child, it is not bad for them to let them cry for the purpose of sleep training. Also, my husband would help out getting up just to pat the baby so the child knew we hadn't abandoned him, but we didn't pick him up at all, just a quick check to make sure nothing is wrong, and then a pat and gentle but firm words that it is time for sleep. Best of luck!! You'll be so relieved once you are on the other side of this.

well first of all, i have found that some babies just do not sleep thru the night. my son, who has the best personality, and is such a good boy, is NOT a good sleeper! he just turned two, and he still does not sleep thru the night. however, to stop the eating thing in the middle of the night, i give him a warm heavy snack before he goes to bed, like grits mixed with yogurt or oatmeal mixed with yogurt (this was suggested by his pediatrician), and that sometimes helps him sleep thru the night...it definitely helped him stop needing to eat in the middle of the night. Good luck!

I had the same problem with my little girl she was about 13 months when she finally started sleeping through the night. I did everything you did and read the books did what they said nothing worked. Well she would fall asleep so easly on mommy and daddy's bed so I took the sheet of of our bed folded it up and put it under her fitted crib sheet. It made her crib mattress alot softer and she had the scent of mommy and daddy and she has slpet through the night since then.

Hi H.,
You did not say if he is breast feed or bottle fed. If he is on formula, check to see if his formula has HFCS ( high fructose corn syrup) in it. This keeps a person continually hungry and contributes to rapid weight gain in sooooo many cases. Also, check his baby foods and even your table foods that he may be eating.
I want you to be able to rest. I remember the years of sleep deprivation.
How very special that you can be with your children.

All babies are different, so don't feel bad. But, at 8 months, I would guess eating every three hours has become a habit. Try putting water in his bottle during the night time "feedings" and he may lose interest in those (worked for mine). Just give him the bottle, no picking up, not even eye contact and leave the room (sounds cold I know...but, he'll wake up the next morning and not even remember...I promise he'll still love you just as much! :)). After a few nights, hopefully he'll respond. Also, a sound soother worked wonders for mine. Seems weird but try one with white noise and turn it up more loudly than you would think. I still use the sound machine when my 15-month old naps or goes down for the night and it's a signal of sleep he responds to immediately. It's also great for travel because even if he's in a new place, it's a familiar cue. Good luck!

PS - Homedics has a pretty good and loud sound soother usually available at department stores like Macy's for under $20.

Try giving your 8 mo old grits and other soft foods that will satisfy his hunger. Most babies get irritable and fussy if they are hungry. Sometimes baby food will not do the trick. Grits is good for filling the hunger. Be sure they're not too thick.

I used to give my son a bottle with water in it. I would leave it in the crib for him in case he woke up. He didn't sleep through the night until he was almost 12 months old. The water trick helped.

Have you begun to feed him baby food during the day? If not, perhaps bottles alone are not enough or just the plain baby cereal. We use to add cereal to the bottles for the night time feedings despite the pediatrians nonrecommendation of this and as it turns out our children (all 3) are just fine.
Every child is different and responds ito the environment in different ways.
Things To Consider:
Is there too much or too little light or sound coming into his room?
Is the temperature in the room and what you dress him in comfortable for him?
Is he on a night time routine such as play time, feeding, bathing, story time, etc? Even at that age they get accustomed to routines.
How much liguid and solid foods is he consuming?
How active is he during the day? Even if he is not yet crawling or producing lots of movement there are toys that help stimulate crawling and movement. Also time spent stimulating him through music and movement (you dancing with him or stand him up and bounce him around, taking him outside for fresh air in the evening) may help tire him out as well as introducing him to all sorts of things.
Has he been in the sam room since birth or did you just recently move his crib/room?
In any case I hope this helps. As I have come to learn with my own 3 kids they each go through very similar and yet very different things at their own pace and timing. It's challenging esp when the others did not encounter those issues. The waiting period can be very draining and frustrating esp when they are not able to communicate their needs and you've done all you know to do.
I encourage you to stay the course even when you are exhausted and want to throw your hands up in the air and cry. This is for a season and I hope you find the wisdom to know how to best navigate through this and that you take time out to get rest and do things that will relax you.

Well I dont have any advice but I have a 18 month old girl the same way. She still on que wakes up by 2am still. It used to be more. Itry to let her cry for a minute and SOMETIMES it works but not always.Good Luck

Try a blanket he has known or buy a really soft one. Also try letting them cry for 5 min, go say it's okay, then 7 mins, then 10 mins, and so on. Just reassure him after the time period. It worked for my daughter and two boys, and the next night they slept til about 6 am. Also try warm water in a bottle, he'll be like " I'm not waking up for water". Good luck, hope you get some sleep soon. Babies are either blanket or binky babies. I have one of each. Start a routine. Bath, soft music, night night baby.

H., I know your pain! I have a 4 year old son who just until two years ago got off the 3 hour "feeding cycle". Not that he was always wanting to eat, it was just that he was just used to getting up every 3 hours. It was very hard to do the "let them cry it out" trick and it didn't work for us either. If he really thinks he is hungry, maybe try water instead of the milk. But the biggest thing that helped with our son is cutting his naps down and then finally we just cut them out all together. He started sleeping a lot better then. And we did the rocking thing as a baby too, and still have to do it every now and again, so if that is what he is used to try that. The thing that we learned is it is definatly about trial and error and routine and discipline. You have to just keep trying different things until you find what works, and yes it may take some time and a lot of sleep lost, but I tell you the first time he sleeps through the night is such a good feeling because you not only get that sleep, but it is like a sense of pride too because you finally figured it out and there is a sense of pride in your child (like when he takes his first steps). Good luck!!!

I read a few of the responses, but here's my 2 cents worth.
1)for the dinner meal, give him more protein, it sticks longer. 2) Give very little liquid, which maybe he won't wet his diaper and wake himself up during the night.
3) Also, cut his nap time in half during the day and see if that adjustment works. 4)Make sure he's getting exercise during the day in his walker or don't put him to bed so early. I don't know what time you put him to bed, but keep him up as long as you're up. 5) give him a warm bath just before bed, which will relax him. 5) Make it quiet and read him a story at bedtime. and a windup animal to help him fall asleep. 6)he knows how to get your attention. If you don't pay attention, he'll stop because it's not working. You can turn on your alarm radio softly for yourself so you can't hear his crying any longer, that will help you sleep. Good luck.

Wow, I know you have bunches of advice already, so let me throw my 2¢ in also. The biggest thing is to be committed. I did the "Ferber" "Cry it out" with our 2nd child (I WISH I had done it with our first..). It took about 3 or 4 days. The first and 2nd nights are the worst. But the trick is you CANNOT give in and go in and pick them up! You can go "check" on them after the first 10 minutes (no singing, no picking up - just rub their back, tell them they're okay and it's time to go to sleep) then leave again (stay no longer than a minute or so). Each time you leave, they cannot see you (we closed the door). And each time you extend the time... so wait 15 minutes before you go check the next time, 20 minutes the next time etc. Usually after the first two nights, you will only have to go check on them either once, or not at all.. b/c by the 3rd night, they go to sleep within 10 minutes with barely a whimper. With my daughter, the first night I was crying right along with her outside her door... but I didn't go in until the prescribed time, and no picking up, no conversation... You will be so relieved by the 3rd night!
Best of luck~

The only advice i can give you which you may have tried already is to gradually up the dose of food you are giving him so he will stay asleep a bit longer. I did that with my daughter (2 1/2 months), she would wake up about 2 times a night, i increased her food and now she sleeps right through the night. Also i dont know if your breastfeeding or not but if you are you may want to consider giving him a bottle of formula at night before bed, it fills them up more. I breastfeed and do formula and that has also worked for me. If my advice doesnt work hopefully someone out there has the answer so you can get some sleep! Good luck!

Dear H.:
Try massage. Rub him down with a little baby oil, specially his tummy. I hope it helps.

H.,
I'm not an advocate of cry it out. Your body and mind know when you hear that cry that's not an I'm annoyed cry, but a true cry for help. We used a book called the no-cry sleep solution which I think the Wakulla Public Library has, so if you aren't in Wakulla you should be able to get an inter-library loan. THey have wonderful solutions for easing into a sleeping pattern that works for the whole family. she doesn't say "no crying", but to be discriminating in which crying you accept. One that is of true fear or of help, she does not advocate to ignore. She also suggests easing into things so it's not such an abrupt change for the baby.

Additionally, she notes that about 1/2 of all babies wake up at least once through the night and need adult assistance going back to sleep. So consider yourself normal. Not that it's not worth working into something that works better for your family. YOu might also try Sears & Sears the baby book. They have some really good suggestions also.

good luck.

Follow your heart and your instincts. You are his mother and deep down you know that is best for him. I've found that doctors do not always give best advice for sleeping. It's not really their profession.

I had the same problem with my nine year old. I tried everything. My pediatrician told me exactly what yours did. I couldn't take letting him cry. I would also rock my son to sleep. I read an article at that time that stated babies are in a deep sleep within 10 minutes so I started putting him down at the 10 minute mark and he started sleeping better. I would rock him for 30-45 minutes a night sometimes. I now have a 5 month old who luckily sleeps all night. If you have't tried this I hope it works for you. It did me. Good Luck!

You have gotten a lot of advice already but here is mine. The founder of cry it out has agreed that it is not healthy for babies under 12 months. Under 12 months, they cry because that is their only way to communicate. If you let them cry then when they stop crying it isn't because they learned to self sooth, it is because they gave up and now think no one is coming to help them. You are doing the right thing by helping your child relax and fall asleep. My daughter woke up every 2 hours while in her crib, wanting to eat every time. I tried an experiment and put her down in my bed. With me next to her, she still woke up but not as often. We could snuggle and she would go right back to sleep. I started putting her down in the crib then bringing her into my bed the first time she woke up. Then just after she turned 1yr, I moved her out of the crib and put her down on a trundle bed close to the floor. The first night was the same but the second night for the first time ever she slept for 5 hours straight in her own bed. She hated the crib. So if you really think your baby isn't hungry, then he is probably lonely and misses you. Try letting him sleep with you. Give it a couple of days. Don't rush him, every child reaches sleep maturity at different points. It would be like making your child walk at 9 months just because someone elses child could do it. Be patient and find a way everyone can sleep until he is ready. You want him to enjoy going to sleep not fear it by being left to cry alone in the dark.

Check out the Sleep Book by Dr Sears or go to www.askdrsears.com

Don't worry about his weight either. My daughter was 36" and 36 lbs by 12 months. She is now 3yrs and is tall and lean. He is growing fast and needs the energy. His growth will slow down. Take a deep breath, trust your instincts.

Ours spent a long time not sleeping through the night, but we co-slept and I breastfed. Right around his first birthday I realized that he was eating solid food through the day and only nursing at night, which was keeping us both awake so we stopped breastfeeding. Instead I'd snuggle him for a little while, but he never cried as much as yours seems to have.

To make it something reasonable, you might consider just starting with one feeding a night -- say the midnight one, you snuggle him back to sleep instead of feeding him. And remember to check to see if he's teething. Sometimes we forget that and deal with so much screaming we just don't understand then we'll use orajel or tylenol and it stops and he sleeps just fine.

Obviously, his body needs to be fed that often. There's really nothing you can do to change his physical needs. I would just enjoy this time. My 3rd child didn't sleep through the night until she was 4 (sensory issues). But I enjoyed those years immensely. I wouldn't trade all those nights when we'd sit and rock and read and sing. Just the two of us in quiet. It was sweet.

I agree with some others about giving water in the nightly bottles. If he completely refuses them and pitches a fit, try just watering down the bottle gradually - over 4 or 5 nights. And if your baby can hold his own bottle, I'd just let them feed themselves. You could also try giving them less and less at night. But really I think it's just habit. My second was big too and it was just that he woke up needing a drink of something, anything. Once we realized he would take water, we just put him to bed with a sippy cup and he'd wake up and take a drink from his cup and go back to sleep. Best of luck! jen

H.,
Are you nursing? Bottle feeding? Nursing babies digest easier, therefore, they are hungry sooner. I don't suggest that you stop nursing if you are, but to just understand why he may be waking up. My daughter nursed every one and a half to two hours for a year and then two to three hours for several more months. It's tough, it's painful, it's tiring, it wears you out emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually, but it's worth it for their nutrition. You have to remember that it won't last forever and resolve that you will have to nap when he naps and use relaxation techniques for yourself and the baby. Use this time to focus on enjoying him.
If you are bottle feeding, are you giving him oatmeal or rice cereal at night? Is it dark in his room? Do you give him a warm relaxing bath before bedtime?
Take Care...

My daughter is about to turn 11 months and she just started sleeping through the night 2 weeks ago. I think it was a fluke, but we kept up with it and now I feel like a new women. On the first night she screamed for about 20 minutes, but I didn't walk in her room. Now when I put her down, I tell her a bunch of sweet words and then set her in her crib, she always sits up and starts crying, but she stops after I leave the room. Now she sleeps from 7:30 to 6:30. We were at our frustration level, big time. I know how you feel. We got our daughter to stop eat during the night by slowly decreasing the amount and diluting it with water. I went week to week. The first week I gave her 4 oz, and the next week and put in 3 oz of formula and 4 oz of water. Then the next week I put in 2 oz of formula and 3 oz of water. She finally decided not to take it anymore. She screamed a few times and though she wanted more, but we just let her cry it out.
I hope this helps.

I would also recommend the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child". I did not use this method myself, but have friends who did with tremendous success. He has to learn to soothe himself to sleep. I have also read that putting him to bed awake (not rocking him to sleep) will help him learn to soothe himself instead of relying on you to do it. Also, at 8 months and 25 lbs, he shouldn't be eating every 3 hours.
One thing to consider -- my sister had this problem with her 3rd child and after a year of this, she consulted an allergist who discovered she had an allergy to milk products. The strange thing is that when children have an allergy like that, they actually crave what they are allergic to -- i.e. wanting a bottle every 3 hours. Is he on formula? If so, you might want to try soy formula or allimentum. You need your rest so you can take care of him. You'll get it sorted out, just hang in there!

Hi H.!
I have 4 children ages 10.5 months thru 5 and 1/2 years, and none of them ever slept through the night until they were weaned off of breastmilk (which was about 1 year to 15 months), and the youngest is still breastfeeding and doesn't sleep through the night yet. I think what your doing is good, if you don't think he's hungry and he'll take a pacifier to go to sleep, maybe he just needs that extra reassurance that you're still there. Some babies/children are just more needy than others and they out grow it. Good luck and just be patient and loving with him!
God Bless!
V.