8 Year Old Daughter Still Wets the Bed!

Updated on February 09, 2016
R.W. asks from Enfield, CT
15 answers

My daughter is 8 years old going on 9 this year. She is a very hyper active child and my family and I as well as teachers have always thought she has ADD. Her pediatrician does not want to test her for it b/c he feels she will grow out of it. My issue is that she has been wetting the bed at night for the past almost 2 years. About 2 years ago we moved into a new apartment and that is when it started, we never had this issue before we moved. I have tried everything including having her tested for a UTI, limiting her fluid intake after 6, etc. I make her use the bathroom before she goes to bed and even wake her up before I go to bed at about 11pm to go again. NOTHING WORKS! She says she is too cozy to get up and go which makes me think it's just her being lazy. I'm tired of spending my money on pull ups for a child who should not need them. Please help, any advice is welcome!

She is also still sucking her thumb. I have also tried everything else to try to get this to stop. She is sucking her thumb so much that her skin is almost raw! There's kind of like a darkened ring around her finger near the bottom, looks like a scar from sucking on it so much...HELP!

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A.F.

answers from Providence on

If it's a lazy issue, I would cut the pull ups out, make her do her own laundry. The wet bed feeling should do the trick, but the back up of the amount of work from washing sheets will quickly make her not lazy. Good luck.

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

If nothing is wrong with her and you have tried everything, including the medication they put kids on who wet the bed ... including counseling, etc. I would try every other option first and seek the help from child therapist and make sure that she is indeed just being lazy. If she is, then I would skip the pullups and make her change the sheets every morning, I think she is old enough to do her own laundry. If she continues to pee in the bed and this is not working, perhaps there is another cause. Is she on allergy medication? Some meds can make kids pee in the middle of the night. But I would have her talk to a child psychologist just to make sure there isn't more going on.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.F.

answers from Providence on

hi ! I also have to agree with you. I am a teacher in daycare and you know what the nurse told us to do when a 2 1/2 yr. old spread his poop all over the carpet in the classroom ? She had him clean it up with us with gloves of course . He stopped ! My godson used to wet the bed too. He is 6, his mom had him wash the sheets with her. If a child given any age, that at least understands the fact that they did it. Wanting to or not, they will help clean up ! As in play = clean up time. It is not a punishment, and since yours is old enough to understand you just fine, you too will see a change. Takes 1-2 weeks to stop . If that dooesn't work, then try waking her up in the middle of the night and have her use the bathroom. Ok, and if she is scared of the dark to go on her own when mom needs to have her rest, night lights and a potty in her bedroom may or may not work, depending how you look at it. Independence in a child is a wonderful huge step, to have self confidence is also a good thing. Talk to her, if she is simply lazy ok...have her try all that I mentioned and write me back too please, I want to know how she does ok ? Good Luck to the both of you .

1 mom found this helpful
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N.D.

answers from Hartford on

I don't know if this will work, but when my daughter was young she wet the bed. Nothing I did to help worked. Then my husband and I went on a trip and left my daughter and son with my mother. My daughter never wet the bed once when we were away. I think it was because she did not want to be embarrassed in front of her grandmother. She never wet the bed again after we came home. Don't have an answer to why. Maybe going away for a few days for you would do the trick.
Good Luck.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

Hi R., Since you've already received very good advice on the bed-wetting front, I just wanted to mention that, since you are the parent, YOU should decide to have your daughter evaluated for ADD.........your doc doesn't seem to be taking this seriously. If he isn't willing to give you a referral to a psychologist for testing, maybe you need to find another ped. doc?? Just my two cents! Good Luck!

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A.P.

answers from Portland on

This may not be the answer, but I am going to throw this out there for what it may be worth. A friend of mine had the same issue with her son at that age. Surprisingly, it turned out to be a wheat allergy! Once wheat was taken out, the bed wetting stopped. Food sensitivities have also been linked to ADD. Switching to a feingold diet for a while might be worth a shot.

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C.L.

answers from Boston on

R.,

I can empathize with your situation. It would seem the move has caused your daughter to regress a bit and she's having difficulty adjusting. This is usually how it manifests in young children. You can talk with her about the move, all she misses and offer her words of support and comfort. Give her a few weeks, and if this still doesn't help, you should seek professional support with someone who works with children.

Good Luck.
C.

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C.M.

answers from Boston on

It sounds like you have exhausted your resources on this problem. It's frustrating. Especially having an older child who probably didn't have any issues. Have you considered talking to a counselor or getting a 2nd opinion from another pediatrician?

Is she afraid of the dark?
Is it a long walk to the bathroom?
Do you think she is looking for some extra attention from you?
Has she ever not wet the bed?
Does she have accidents during the day or just at night?
At what age did the 10 year old stay dry all night?

Have you asked her why she doesn't get up to go?

Good luck in your journey to a dryer place.

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S.W.

answers from Seattle on

how did this work out for you? if I may ask?

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J.H.

answers from Boston on

Hi R.
My son has ADD and has had great results with Reliv Kids Now.
He no longer needs meds (with very SCARY Side effects) and gets straight A's.
Love to share
J. H

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E.K.

answers from Hartford on

Chiropractic adjustments have worked for several children that I know...
Hope that helps,
E.:-)

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M.C.

answers from Boston on

If you have any concerns about your child you should feel free to take her for a second opinion. I would not believe that laziness is the reason for her bed wetting. There are many reasons children experience this problem and laziness really is not one of them. The situation sounds very frustrating (probably for her as well). As a Social Worker, I will suggest you take her for further evaluation. Her bed wetting and "ADD" is going to affect her socially and she is getting to an age where no kid wants to be on the outs!

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G.V.

answers from New London on

The first response you received from "Liz" is right on the money. PLUS: You even solved the issue yourself by saying that your daughter says she is "too cozy" to get up. She is playing you like a fiddle for attention. Get rid of the pull-ups and make HER clear her bed and wash the sheets. It might be an inconvenience for you to get up earlier in the mornings before school, but just DO IT. It might be annoying to you and feeling like YOU are being punished, but won't it be great when she learns her lesson and you don't have to deal with wet sheets anymore? Good luck! P.S. if that doesn't work, then you can proceed with seeing what else might be wrong - i.e., take her to a therapist - because I do think it might also be psychological from your moving, and all of the other stresses kids have to go through these days.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

I recommend having her talk to a counselor, even someone at school. Bedwetting is frequently a sign of psychological distress in children. I notice that you put your post under "single parenting," and I just wonder if the move into the new apartment was a change in your daughter's living situation and/or if she just has some stuff to work out (hyperactivity can be a sign too).

I hope I'm wrong, of course, and I hope that you don't take this the wrong way. But if she keeps wetting the bed after all of the physical reasons have been addressed, it might be worth looking at the emotional reasons. Good luck!

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✿.K.

answers from Boston on

I agree w/ Liz if you have done absolutely everything had her talk to a therapist, tests, tried meds, etc I would also stop buying pull ups they help create them being lazy I think and if it continues she needs to help w/ the cleaning of the blankets, sheets, mattress cover she might stop when she realizes she's the one that has to clean the mess.

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