8 Year Old Son Not Telling the Truth

M.,
My son is 12, and also has a problem with telling the truth. For him it is on a daily basis about just about anything. I have noticed that with him, sometimes he will respond to a question without thinking threw the answer. He realizes that he has not told the truth, or just given the wrong answer,and would rather lie than admit he is wrong. Other times my son will lie for the attention. I have 4 children ages 13, 12, 10 and 16 months, and there are times when Mom and Dad are both busy and that is one way to grab our attention.

Your son is a few years younger than my son, so there may be very differant reasons he does it. I hope I have helped. :)

Hello M.,
I have a 10 year old son who has a bad habit of "kidding". To me, however, it is lying! He softens his lies by saying, "I was just kidding!" But he takes them too far. One time he lied and told me the lunch ladies at school refused to give him lunch. So I picked up the phone and called the school to discuss this and only after I hung up did he say, "I was just Kidding!" It really infuriated me and we have had plenty talks about telling the truth. I think he will grow out of this, as your son will. I think our boys are testing us, and testing the limits as to what they can pull off. As long as he isn't being exposed to lying, maybe done by a friend he has who uses it to manipulate or save him from getting in trouble. You know how everyone is always saying, your children's best role models in life are the parents? Well, it's so true! As long as you and your husband are truthful to him and others, and make the distinction to him that lying is wrong, truth is golden, he will begin to favor truth. Is he scared of telling the truth? Let him know you will not get really mad if he tells the truth, but he will be in more trouble with you if he dosen't tell the truth. Maybe then he'll fess up to things if he knows you won't be so angry. Hang in there and know that all kids fib sometimes.

tell him about god and the 10 comanments

The best way to create an honest child is to model it, as I'm sure you are doing. I don't know what other types of things he lies about, but this one seems pretty harmless: he didn't want to do a chore, so he lied about having done it. On the scale of lying this is not the worst thing, and he's only 8, so I wouldn't make too big a deal out of it. The main thing I would do when he lies is call him on it, you don't have to get mad about it just tell him you know he wasn't telling the truth. Then he can learn that the tactic of lying doesn't work. At 8 storytelling can be kind of cute, adult liars are yucky.

Sometimes kids,aren't as mature as we think they should be (boys and girls are definitely different) and they see fibbing differently than adults. While we see it as omission of the complete truth, they see it as selecting to tell the important parts or diverting from getting in trouble. Encourage him to tell the complete truth and maybe ask him to show you what he plans on wearing before. Sometimes kids get so wrapped up in what they are doing and intend to do what they are told but get sidetracked or excited, maybe remind him if he didn't get his clothes out like he said he did, he has an opportunity in the next five minutes to get it done without getting in trouble.

My 7 year old does the same. He was probably just so excited to get to story time that he fibbed a bit. Can you blame him? When he's 30 and out of the house, dad will wish he could be there fibbing for just one extra chapter at bedtime. Have a system of checks and balances. You check before rewards are given. Love and support. -Sher