8 Year Old Still Wetting Bed and Refusing to Take a Shower.

It sounds like you have gotten a lot of good advice. I was 10 when I stopped peeing in the bed. My sister also wet the bed until she was about this age. I was a heavy sleeper. Back then my mom was told I would grow out of it. I guess I must have.

As far as showering goes, you could trying buying her fancy soaps and creams and a nice soft robe. My eight year old has bad body odor and we got her own "vanity" to help her to see the importance of good hygiene. I also bought the book "The Care and Keeping of You. The Body Book for Girls" It is part of the American Girl collection. It is a great book for this age.

When my 5 yr. old son didn't want to take one, I said, "You will smell bad and no one will want to sit by you at school tomorrow." Never a problem again. He was very social. Wetting the bed is probably medical.

My son suddenly began wetting the bed, after much agonizing as to what was going on we visited my doctor who gave him what he called his "pee pills", it worked and we no longer had a problem.

I am wondering, is something troubling her about the bathroom? When I was young I expereinced a peeping tom, scared me, but I didn't tell. I believe some safe, gentle prodding, will get to the bottom of this. Something happened that she wants to avoid the bathroom. Maybe offer to sit with her while she showers or baths, just light girl talk.

My sister was the same way, she wet the bed because she was a heavy sleeper, and she didnt ever want to take a shower, because she just really didnt care anymore, her self esteam was "shot". Anyway, here is what my mom did, she went to Sunharvest and bought (i believe the name is) endiurine, its a homeopathic pill that you put under the tongue and it disolves (it will tell you what amount ect on the bottle/box. If you dont have a sunharvest you may want to try some other whole food/vitamin store, although i do know that they do not sell it at gnc. As for the shower, she took her and bought her soaps, ect. for the shower a little basket to put them in with her name on it (my parents had 4 girls so we all had one, and of course wanted different things), and started forcing her to take one, she would tell her either she do it herself or my mom would go do it, and after a few times of my mom doing it (cause she did it a little rough if you know what i mean like on washing her hair) my sister finally got the idea that she better take the shower and do it right. She is much older now and has outgrown everything now. I hope this helps you any!

My stepson had this problem unitl he was 17. the smell was atrocious. We tried everything and he was just a real hard sleeper and had to grow out of it. Believe me I know what you are going through the endless amounts of laundry is unbareable at times. We also found out with hard sleepers they may be doing this more than once at night. he was doing this three to four times a night, and stopping the nighttime drink did not help us. We purchased a systems that I can't remember what it is now, but it had an alarm on it that when it got wet it would go off. He had to wake up and wash his face,(so as to wake him and not sleep through the routine and realize what was going on) clean up the mess, change the sheets before going back to bed, we were there just to ease the transition and to make sure he did everything he was suppose to. But he finally fought this the older he got and it really didn't help. what go bad was when he would hide his soiled sheets in the closet or under the bed and his room would permeate down the hall, becuause he wouldn't take care of them. It is by no means there fault for doing wetting but can be very disruptive and annoying. Just take it day to day and remind your daughter that taking a shower is just not for her benefit but that others can smell the urine on her too. This is a big self esteem issue for them and they just need encouragement to get through it and believe me us parents need the same encourage sometimes too.

Sorry I don't have any advice for you, but I just want to say I am having the same bed-wetting problem with my son. He's 7 1/2 and has to sleep in the big-kid overnights every night. I think his problem is he just sleeps soooo soundly every night, he just doesn't wake up. The doctor suggested one of those alarms that goes off when it gets wet, but that won't even wake him up. I've tried waking him up in the middle of the night for periods at a time, but he still doesn't start waking by himself to go to the bathroom. I've also tried nixing the overnights so he'll end up all wet & maybe wake up. That just causes a major laundry heap for me everyday. I'm interested to see what kind of responses you get.

Good luck!

Hello... This is M. Tippett... I had experienced with my Son while he was little... He wet bed and smells so bad almost every day and one day I decide to take him to see
Doctor... Doctor runs all tests and found he had high Diabetics and put him in Hospital to control his Sugars level... After that he never wet bed anymore... So I would suggest you to take her to see Doctor as she may have some problem with Diabetics or something else...
Thanks and good luck...
M.

1. stop fighting her over it! 2. take her to a doctor to make sure there isn't another problem. 3. she probably feels that unless she's perfect (clean & dry) than you won't love her. show her that you love her NO MATTER WHAT. 4. stop fighting her over it!

First I would definitely advise you to take her to see a urologist to rule out any type of medical condition.

If the doctor finds no evidence of any physical malformities then I would explain to your daughter that there is no physical problem to cause her bed wetting. (now if you suspect a psychological problem you may want to take her to a psychologist)
After you explain to her that there seems to be no medical problem you feel that she simply does not want to get up to got to the bathroom, then she has a couple of choices.
1) if she wets the bed; she will have to get up an hour earlier in the morning before school and strip her bed, and wash her sheets. she will have to have a plastic matress cover over her matress to avoid damage to the matress. In addition she will need to remake her bed before school with the linens she washed from the day before.
2) if she is refusing to clean herself then she will have to also wash her clothes and since she cant be clean it would not be sanitary for her to attend any functions like friends birthday parties, movies, etc.....not as a punishment but just inform her that people expect guest to show up clean and respectful to the people she has been invited by.
3) if she chooses to ignore your new rules then there are consequences....no yelling or fighting...you are the parent not the one out of control.

have adult expectations with her about her hygiene and maybe even show some pics of people who look pretty bad without proper hygeine. a look goes a long way...look up diseases on the internet together that will emphasize cleanliness.
This all could be a ploy for attention and reinforcement of negative behavior works just as good for a child. turn it around and gain authority over the situation and maintain your cool.

i don' know about the bath or shower problem, but I can help with the bed wetting. I too have a child the same age that was bed wetting until a few weeks ago. The doctor sent her to a specialist, they recommended medication. I read the side effects and decided there had to be a better way. I found on the internet the following link: http://www.bedwettingstore.com/

We started the program in January and during these 12 weeks, she has not used one single pull up. We bought the simple alarm with random sounds and nothing else. I put a sleeping bag right next to my bed, had two sets of sheets and change of pjs right there so when the accidents happened (they do at first) it was not a big deal. I will have to say that it is hard at first, because we were both getting up by an alarm, and she was tired, and somewhat scared by the alarm. The first 4 days she begged me to stop using it, but I remained calm and encouraged her. The alarm comes with a booklet, and on line support, If you and your daughter are ready I recommend this alarm. First go to your doctor to make sure there is not a physical problem. then try the alarm. hope this helps.

My friends daughter went through this and it was a battle. But kids develop as they are ready, and she may not be waking up when she feels she needs to go. It is not her fault--she is asleep! She may just be that hard of a sleeper! I would advise the goodnights by huggies i think. it looks like underwear but is like a pullup. If you did that you would not have to worry about having her shower all the time.

I hope that was helpful

D. Mattern
The MOM Team
Raising your income and your rugrats at the same time!!
www.formyrugrats.com
"The only thing that counts is faith, expressing itself through love." Galatians 5:6

The bed wetting thing may be from drinking to late in the evenings. Sometimes a bedtime ritual helps. I used to give my kids a teaspoon full of honey prior to bed as the "magic" cure. They liked the honey and believe it or not the "Magic" cure ritual helped stop this problem. My husband suggested it since it worked for him as a child...I thought he was crazy but it worked for our children. Also, when your kids are on a routine for bedtime they get in the habit of making sure they go to the bathroom prior to getting in bed.
A routine bedtime will help kids get enough sleep so that they don't sleep to hard and not wake for a pit stop to the potty. Kids don't want to wet the bed, and they don't want to get out of a warm bed at night for a trip to the potty. Start an evening ritual!!
Bath Issue:
Girls like to feel special with their own bathtime supplies. My daughter is 8 and LOVES to bathe with her own supplies. I let her pick out what she uses(within reason) each time she runs out. Every month she has a new brand, color and fragrance. Just watch out for really inexpensive novelty soaps they tend to dry out sensitive skin. I also let her pick out her kind of toothpaste (tril sizes are inexpensive) and toothbrush. Make the selection of these supplies a big deal and when she gets out of the tub compliment her heavily on how wonderful she smells. EVERYONE, ANY age LOVES a COMPLIMENT!!!!

ok, I have had experience with this. My daughter (now 16) took FOREVER to stay dry at night. There are several things you can do. You can buy a plastic matress cover to protect her matress and realize that she will outgrow it. You can look into bedwetting alarms. I have a friend who thinks this is the best invention. This trains those heavy sleepers to get up and go in the middle of the night. They can be pricey, but well worth it, and you won't have any trouble re-selling it. About the shower...allow her wet blankets or wet clothes to dry with the urine on them and make her smell them. Tell her this is what she smells like and maybe show her how to do a quick rinse. It doesn't have to be a full shower or bath, just hop in, wash the area with a rag and soap and hop out.
Good Luck!

Has your daughter been checked for bladder infection? I had several children who wet the bed and that was often the case with 1 daughter. Also we have a family history on both sides of the problem. Find a good urologist that treats children to have her checked. My kids mostly just had to out grow it. One had problems until puberty.

this may sound silly, but try changing her diet. start by taking out any and all artificial colorings and flavorings. if there is no change after at least 2 weeks of nothing of that then you could try removing some natural foods that she may have a problem with. my brother did the same thing. wet his bed until he was 15 and beyond. by the time we found out about the feingold diet, we knew it would work for him, but he was too old and wasn't willing to implement it himself. at this age, you're still in control of what she eats. for more info go to www.feingold.org. hope that helps.

I dont know what it is with kids and not wanting to bathe.... dont they know they stink?? On a work night there is no choice, but during the weekends, we give my stepdaughter a choice, bathe at night or in the morning. Having the choice of when i guess is enough for her and she doesn't fight it anymore. She ALWAYS wants to put it off till morning, but at least she gets washed :)

I haven't had bed wetting issues so I don't have any ideas on that part.

My 8 yr old daughter still wets the bed. I find that if she doesn't drink an hour before bed time she urinates in her sleep less often. We bought a plastic cover for her matress and she wears big kid diapers (goodnight I think). The shower thing will pass. She will realize what she smells like and feels like. If not, then maybe you can incourage her and explain the microscopic "bugs" that eat the dirt off of you!!!! It worked for my daugter!

This can very well be a physical problem. My son wet the bed until recently (he is almost 12). I asked our pediatrition about it and he did a urine test and determined that my son needs medication. He takes a small pill at night...has not wet the bed since. It is only temporary until they mature a bit more but Its a miracle!! Talk to her doctor!

Have you tried a Pediatric Urologist? There is a great one in Plano Dr. Strand and Dr. Ewalt . I took my 7 yr old son to them in December and they did a sonagram on his stomach to look at his bladder and found out that his colon was full of poop! We have had him on dairy restrictions and more fiber filled food and a patch he wears called oxytrol and he had a total of 2 accidents in february instead of 2 dry nights he had 26 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are about to go for a check up next week and we are extremely pleased with the results ! Dr. Strand Phone # is ###-###-#### hope this helps!

Most kids don't fight you about things without a reason. You are doing the right thing by asking questions and trying to figure out what is really wrong. You are not alone! My son also had trouble with both of these things and at 13 still sometimes complains about bathing.

Going to your doctor for the bed wetting is a great idea just like the other moms have said. There are so many reasons for bed wetting. Sometimes it is physical or emotional. My son's problem was linked to his sleep apnea. He did not have a physical problem with his bladder but when he would stop breathing in the middle of the night and gasp for air, he would sometimes loose control of his muscles. When we got his tonsils out for his sleep apnea the other problem cleared up.

The shower thing might be emotional like some of the other moms have mentioned or it might be physical. I am a preschool teacher and have a son with mild asperger's syndrom. Over the past few years I have been reading material on sensory processing disorder(once called sensory integration dysfunction)for both my on son and some of my students who experience this. My son is more sensitive to outside stimulation. He is bothered by hot and cold foods, the feel of some sheets and clothes, the shower, sunlight, the wind or AC blowing on him. Others are less sensitive and don't notice bumping into things, temperature changes, hunger, or the need to urinate. Then there are some who are both over and under sensitive. You can also ask your doctor about this or talk to your school counselor. If your daughter seems like my son there is a good book called "The out of sync child."

Every child is so unique and wonderful. I hope you find what helps with your daughter. :-)

You may have to monitor the latest time she can have something to drink and what she drinks at night. If she goes to bed at 9, then nothing to drink after 8 and make sure she goes to the restroom right before bedtime.

My son is 7 and had an accident the other night. It's been a few weeks. We have a great mattress pad on the bed. I used to get so mad. Then I realized it isn't purely his fault. I have to monitor his drinking before bed. We were in several sports that didn't get home till later. Now we are done with those. He doesn't like baths or showers so much either. Maybe get some new bath toys.

I have read that tonsils or ear problems might have a link to the bed wetting. My son is having his tonsils out on Monday, so I am anxious to see if that was it. When they have swollen tonsils, (which his were incredible huge with strep a few times this past year) they don't sleep as well.

I read about all the other advice about the bladder, but maybe its tonsils.

Hi N.,

Ok, I actually went through this with a friend of mine while they were living with us. We decided that making bedtime and consistant and on the ball ritual that it will help. Something like, shower, book, teeth..etc. Keep it the same EVERY night without fail. As for the "nice things" for girls. I agree completely. We went and got her all the "nice things" that would help her with confidence and she was in the shower and scrubbing up quickly...no arguements. You have to find a natural balance with children. They also love to feel like they have choices so the idea of her picking her own things is GREAT!!! As for the bedwetting, I would stop all drink 1-2 hours before bedtime..nothing after that. Of course, letting her know that "this is your last drink" when it in fact is her last drink for the night. That way there is no question on the "rules". Then, before YOU go to bed, wake her up (10pm-12am) whenever that is and have her go to the bathroom one more time. It might be an issue for it but it's well worth the mess later for a few weeks of her not liking it. Sounds crazy to wake her up out of a sound sleep but maybe she's just that heavy of a sleeper that she needs to be taught to pay attention to her body. I have seen it work! Good luck!

Hi N.,

My name is S. C., I have an 8 y/o and a 4 y/o-both girls. I would get your daughter to the doctor first to make sure she doesn't have a urinary tract infection or a phyical reason she is wetting the bed. (Perhaps immature ureter growth) Either way, give her the benefit of the doubt and get her checked. That said, if the doctor clears her physically, perhaps look at things at home, new sibling, changes in your or her life.
In regards to the lack of desire to shower, a couple tactics may work: dinner only after we have showered. Is there a reason she cannot take a bath??? Perhaps the water in her eyes is the issue. My 8 y/o detests water in her eyes and with a washcloth to cover her eyes will she get in.
Take things away that are pleasure to her-i.e. computer time, television time, friend time on the phone.
Hope it helps.
S.

Hi N. -

That must be frustrating. I have a 3 year old so we are not there yet.

At 8 years old I would worry that there is something going on. I would talk with your Pediatrician and possibly even a counselor.

If there is something going on that you don't know about the fighting won't help solve anything (actually it won't help even if there isn't anything going on).

You didn't mention if she is your only child or if you are single and live alone or married, etc. Watch her interactions with others that live with you for any clues to what might be going on.

Good luck.