D.B.
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My 8 yr old son refuses to get undressed for physical. he's willing to do blood pressure,vision,hearing,height and weight but when it comes time to "undress" he refuses. I won't force him but I know it needs to be done from dr.s point of view.. he's even willing to get vaccinations !! he has allways had trust issues and dr.issues...he has come along way in the last year and I don't want to ruin the trust he has in me now by forcing him. The dr. seems to be getting impatient with him and I guess feels like he should just suck it up ! HELP! school needs physical forms and dr. refuses to do forms unless he gets undressed... they are calling my son"difficult" I know he is really trying hard and it's something he is just not comfortable with. HELP!!!! PLEASE
Everyone, Thanks for the answers..The school nurse is still yelling about not having his physical and I still stand up for my son!The whole thing is He will do EVERY OTHER part of an exam.He simply doesn't want to show his private area or his chest(he's heavy and has some boobs goin'on). At home he sleeps naked and when no one other than me and my husband are around he'll walk around naked all day in the house..So I do get chances to glance at his private areas making sure he doesn't see me doing this! and everything looks fine..No rashes,nothing looking weird, looks clean..I don't understand what the big deal is any way unless they are in pain down there,or a rash,or something out of the ordinary, why must the doctor check on that anyway? I know if a doctor would work with him and gain his trust eventually he would at least allow him to see his chest. these dr.'s just seem so impatient So while they refuse my sons right to privacy I will keep standing up for him and walking out of the offices and telling the school nurse Oh well until they either don't let him back into school even though he has all his shots and has had every part of the physical exept the genital exam part I'll simply keep looking and sticking up for my son! K. S
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Schools usually have a nurse on hand to do the required exams, and I don't think they require undressing? When he wants to do a sport later on, he will be more motivated to do it. Having grown up in Europe where you see a doctor when you are sick, I didn't get the need to take my kids in for "routine docotrs' visits". It still seems like a scam to me. I would give it/him time.
There is absolutely no reason why your son needs to completey undress for his physical. If your doctor is giving you attitude, it's because he obviously does not know how to handle this situation and is not willing to explore alternatives. Find another pediatrician and make your son part of the process of finding a doctor.
Being naked makes most people feel very vulnerable and some people have a higher sense of modesty than others.
As far as the physical, if you can get your son to partially undress voluntarily, that would be the best option. For example take of his shirt, but leave his pants on, then put the shirt back on and take off his pants... For every examination the doctor should tell your son what he is going to do, where is is putting his hand and what he can expect to feel. Many doctors will also show expain chidlren what they will do and have the child try it on themselves first (like palpating the belly, testing reflexes...)
An experienced, patient and gentle pediatrician will be able to take your son through this without too much upset.
I would find a new male doctor. I think it is normal not to want to undress in front of a doctor at your son's age and I would not force the issue. I'm not sure why undressing is necessary. Most important tests can be taken while clothed or partially clothed. Stick by your son and respect his concerns and wishes on this one. Find a doctor who is understanding and willing to compromise. Good luck!
Does your doctor want him to completely undress or does your son have a problem going down to even underwear? My son will be 8 in April and the doctor has never had him get completely undressed for a physical. Usually t-shirt and underwear is fine. If your son can't even do that then I don't know what to suggest but if your doctor is expecting him to get completely undressed I'd call around and see if you can find a pediatrician who can work with t-shirt and underwear.
Good luck,
K.
agree w/the previous poster. i don't think my son has been fully undressed at the doctor's office since he was a toddler (he's 9 now). I also don't recall having to bare it all at that age (that didn't start happening again until I was at the obgyn).
find a new pediatrician....unless your son has some sort of condition that require regular check-ups in the buff...?
Your son can't possibly by the first child this doctor has seen who is uncomfortable getting undressed. What a shame they aren't working with you on this.
My suggestion would be to look for a new doctor if possible. Explain ahead of time his discomfort.
If your son wears a button down shirt will he unbutton it and let the doctor do exams that way? I agree with you that forcing the issue is likely to be counterproductive.
Good luck!
What ever you do, do not force him to undress! Find another pediatrician who will respect his wishes. Some people are more sensitive regarding their modesty and his bodily civil rights and dignity must be respected and YOU must be his advocate because doctors will not.
My question to you is, has he ever been forced into a genital exam? If he has had any of his physicals at school, then he no doubt has been forced into a genital exam. I only ask because when I was a child, I was forced into a "routine" genital exam during a physical even though I wasn't sick in any way. As your son is, I am also someone who has always been sensitive regarding modesty, however my mother failed in being my advocate and my civil rights and dignity were completely violated. As a result, I have never let another doctor near me and like your son, have never undressed for another doctor ever again and I still have nightmares from this horrible violation (I am now 43). Because it was forced on me, it has caused a life-long hatred of all doctors and problems in having relationships with anyone and it destroyed my relationship with my mother. I rarely go to doctors even when I am sick but have recently found out from blood tests that I have borderline Kidney disease, probably from not going to the doctor when I have UTIs.
I can tell you by personal experience that doctors, especially pediatricians, will not even acknowledge that some kids are traumatized by removing their clothes and especially from these unnecessary "routine" genital exams...and pediatricians now a days love to perform these exams every year. Bottom line, if your son is not having any issues "down there", do NOT allow any genital exams on him since he is more sensitive regarding his modesty...at the very least specifically tell him he can say"NO" to a genital exam (if the issue comes up at the doctor).
I just don't want to see your son (or any other child) have to live the life I have because the pediatric community does not want/care to acknowledge the civil rights and dignity of children who are not even sick and the fact that some/ a lot of children are traumatized because of it.
Updated
I am reposting because I don't think my last post went through and it's important that it does... the following is what I posted:
What ever you do, do not force him to undress! Find another pediatrician who will respect his wishes. Some people are more sensitive regarding their modesty and his bodily civil rights and dignity must be respected and YOU must be his advocate because doctors will not.
My question to you is, has he ever been forced into a genital exam? If he has had any of his physicals at school, then he no doubt has been forced into a genital exam. I only ask because when I was a child, I was forced into a "routine" genital exam during a physical even though I wasn't sick in any way. As your son is, I am also someone who has always been sensitive regarding modesty, however my mother failed in being my advocate and my civil rights and dignity were completely violated. As a result, I have never let another doctor near me and like your son, have never undressed for another doctor ever again and I still have nightmares from this horrible violation (I am now 43). Because it was forced on me, it has caused a life-long hatred of all doctors and problems in having relationships with anyone and it destroyed my relationship with my mother. I rarely go to doctors even when I am sick but have recently found out from blood tests that I have borderline Kidney disease, probably from not going to the doctor when I have UTIs.
I can tell you by personal experience that doctors, especially pediatricians, will not even acknowledge that some kids are traumatized by removing their clothes and especially from these unnecessary "routine" genital exams...and pediatricians now a days love to perform these exams every year. Bottom line, if your son is not having any issues "down there", do NOT allow any genital exams on him since he is more sensitive regarding his modesty...at the very least specifically tell him he can say"NO" to a genital exam (if the issue comes up at the doctor).
I just don't want to see your son (or any other child) have to live the life I have because the pediatric community does not want/care to acknowledge the civil rights and dignity of children who are not even sick and the fact that some/ a lot of children are traumatized because of it.
