Hi There,
Make sure to try all avenues to see what's going on physically. If nothing seems like a fit try looking at it from a behavioral perceptive .
T. Berry Brazelton, America's favorite pediatrician, says the way you put a child to sleep each night dictates what they come to expect when they wake during the middle of the night.
When children cry out during the middle of the night most parents, myself included, go in and pick the child up and nurse or give a bottle until he falls back to sleep. The problem with that is the child wasn't awake, and the parent has now become part of the ritual to fall back to sleep. The child was in Rem sleep or light sleep. He looks awake, can call out and even stand up, but is not fully awake.
When parents become part of process of going back to sleep the child doesn't learn how to self-soothe and can’t put himself back into deeper sleep.
The solution, and no one likes it, is to replace the bedtime ritual with something else, and most of the time that involves needing to listen to crying for a few nights. You will not be abandoning him by doing what I’m suggesting.
I don't believe in making children suffer, but I also believe, in most cases, what looks and feels like suffering is your child's extreme attempt to make things go back to the way it has always been. Just make sure there is no abandonment.
Let me explain.
At bedtime breast or bottle feed him until he is ALMOST asleep and place him in the crib while he's still a LITTLE bit awake. Be prepared for crying; in fact, count on it.
That way you’ve prepared yourself emotionally before you begin, and your feelings won't stop you or surprise you.
He will most likely wake himself up as you’re putting him down, and begin to cry for you. Lay him down again and say good night and leave the room. Come back after 1 minute or so and say goodnight again, and lay him down again and leave.
After time number 3 or 4 go in and lay him down and say nothing. Do this until he falls asleep.
Then prepare yourself for the fact that this will happen in the middle of the night, and you will need to repeat the EXACT same process.
By repeating the same thing again and again you are replacing the old ritual with a new ritual. Remember you’ll be undoing 9 months of learned behavior.
The only thing that’s different with this method versus all the other methods is the fact that you’re only leaving him for 1 minute at a time. He’ll come to relax because he knows he will see you in 1 minute, as he relaxes he falls asleep.
Some methods suggest you gradually increase the amount of time you leave him to cry. Having done this method with my own child, I think that just makes everyone crazy.
And now, since you know the child needs to learn how to self-soothe and put himself back to sleep, you can feel better about doing this because you realize you’re helping him learn something versus feeling like you’re abandoning him
When I did this with my son, he cried off and on the first night then slept through the night from then on.
Good Luck, The Mommie Mentor, www.proactiveparenting.net (notice .net)