I recently started watching a 9 and a half month old. She is a darling girl and her mom is great too. In all ways developemenatlly this little one is right on track and I have followed what "mom" says as the routine to the letter, and her mom insists that although she doesn't eat much they don't have any problems. Each time I try and feed this little one baby food she cries! She will turn her face, clamp her mouth shut, push with her hands the spoon away...all indications she is not hungry in my book. I have tried all different times of the day, I have tried with holding her "bottle" so that she will be hungry enough to eat, I have basically in my mind tried it all to no avial, since I Have asked the mom and she swears it is a non issue...is there something I have not thought of? She is so good for me in all ways, well except that even though she has 2 little brothers she seems afraid of my youngest...but I am most concerned with her not eating, she will adjust to Alex = )
ANY suggestions at all or similar experiences...I feel bad that I can't do this simple thing!
Thank you in advance
B.
* I feed what is sent for her, as far as I am told the mom has not even started on table food beyond "puffs" which she will happily feed herself...but I can't let her just fill up on puffs! She is the youngest of 3 so its not like she is a first time mom...is it rude to suggest we start her on table foods since she is so anti baby food while she is with me? I have her over 8 hours so it is imperative she eat. Also mom still has her on stage 2 foods...
Hi all! Thanks for the great suggestions and just the support of the responses = )
She is teething and according to her Pediatrician has like 6 teeth all trying to come in at once. I am near the end of my 2nd week with her and I am only offering what her mom packs in the diaper bag, and following "moms" guidelines about when she eats and approx how much she usually eats so that is why I have been "fretting" that she won't eat for me.
She did come in today w/o having eaten her breakfast first so she did eat for me today w/o tears and I did use Her spoon, honestly do not know how one baby spoon differs from another but I have a sensory child as well so go with the flow whatever makes her happy! No luck at lunch but I just kept on the happy face and gave her a bottle the mom doesn't seem concerned and seems confident in me so I will try and not doubt so much.
Mom did green light trying table foods. I am hesitant though because she is a gagger and a choker, even knowing CPR and baby heimlich ( spelling?) still scares the wits out of me.
I would feel more comfortable knowing "mom" has tried at home before I go crazy = )
Also Puffs are in the toddler aisle they are made for babies who can sit up unassisted and practically dissolve w/o chewing.
I have no idea what a syringe is for baby food I have never heard of that before.
I had a nurser style way back when my oldest son was a baby ( he is almost 13) but I haven't seen one sold in forever...
She is a happy baby and healthy, she is petite but then so is her mom and knowing that she has two older brothers that basically weren't that interested in eating at her age so I guess I was worried for nothing.
Thank you all again so much!!
B.
Featured Answers
K.G.
answers from
St. Louis
on
My son goes to day care almost every day, and trust me, I quickly found that he would do one thing for the day care provider and another for me. (Usually I got the raw end of the deal.)
Try the syringe to get food in her. It really worked for my son. If she does not want baby food that way, either, talk to the mother and let her know that you would be interested in trying table foods with her daughter if it's okay with her. Find articles that would support her daughter having food and give them to her maybe over a weekend so she has time to read and think about it.
It sounds like you are a great day care provider and you really care about the children and their families. They are lucky to have you.
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S.B.
answers from
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As a mother of 9- the oldest being 23 and the youngest 2 years- why are you trying to force feed a 9 month old. My 2 year old did not eat food until he was a year- he only had breast milk and the occasional taste of table food. This baby is telling you that she is not ready for food- she only wants her bottle. If she were truly hungry- she would eat the food. Offer her the food, if she doesn't eat- that is fine. As long as she takes a bottle- she is staying hydrated- and she is getting her nutrition from the formula or breast milk in the bottle.
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J.W.
answers from
St. Louis
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If she is so good, she must not be upset or starving, right? I don't see the issue? If she wants to have a bottle and nothing else, she'll be fine. I don't know if she's breastfed at all but certainly babies can be breastfed exclusively for over a year and thrive. It's a myth to think they "must eat" what we eat. If she's failing to thrive or hard to handle for some reason - let it concern you; otherwise, what's the worry? Enjoy a happy baby.
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B.S.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Babies don't NEED food until around the end of the first year and infants that refuse solids are often protecting themselves from serious allergies later on. Please don't keep trying to feed her. Ideally- babies should be feeding themselves at all times. I never once "fed" my son and he figured out eating with food in front of him.
Her mom knows her best and it's possible her other kids didn't eat much until they were over one.
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A.S.
answers from
Kansas City
on
At 9 months a baby's main source of nutrition should still be breastmilk or formula. Solids are an extra and mainly just for practice. Some babies aren't ready for solids yet, some take a while to want them. Just keep trying, but don't force, and try to make it fun. And definitely don't withhold her bottle to make her more hungry.
Have you tried spicing it up a little? Try adding a little cinnamon or pumpkin spice to her cereal, you can also add it to fruits. And for veggies try adding garlic or onion powder, or even curry. Just don't add salt, little ones don't need it.
Editing to add: I'm surprised by how many are saying to try table food. Do NOT start her on table food! If the mom doesn't do table food, neither should you. 9 month olds are still way too young for table foods, they pose a serious choking hazard, and may cause an allergic reaction. The only food a baby NEEDS until their first birthday is breastmilk and/or formula. That's it.
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K.C.
answers from
Kansas City
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There's nothing wrong with a 9 month old not taking solids. I've known parents who held off on solids until a year because of allergies in the family. My oldest, though I started her on solids at 6 months, didn't really take any until close to a year. She can get all she needs through breastmilk or formula, and what to do is up to the mother. I wouldn't even put cereal in her bottle with out asking the mother (I would be very upset if someone put cereal in my child's bottle, as it is advised against by my doctors). I would voice my concern politely and then do as the mother says. (maybe making suggestions gently, like "i've heard some moms just start their baby on other whole food table foods if the baby doesn't like baby food"-- which is just what we did with our daughter)
K.
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L.S.
answers from
Springfield
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Has she taken a bite to taste even? If she did maybe it was something she didn't like the taste of? Was it food the mother brought & the baby is accustomed to?
I would give her a real banana cut up and see if she'll eat it on her own (assuming she's eaten bananas in baby food already). I know sometimes my son gets ornery and wants to feed himself only.
You could try asking Mom if she would mind if you could try mashed up bananas in attempts to give some form of solid food to the little one...? but use your judgement on asking her. There are some people who are very uptight and some who are lax about things like that. I agree with the other lady who said that solids are complimentary to baby's diet of breastmilk/formula at this age... My son couldn't wait to eat solids though so it would be hard to imagine a babe not wanting to eat :). If you decide not to ask don't sweat it too much, I'm sure she'll be ok even if she's only eating formula with you.
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J.G.
answers from
St. Louis
on
I have a 8 1/2 month old that sometimes has problems at daycare also. Check to see if she is teething. When my little on is teething, he doesn't want to eat just nurse! If she is breastfeed, I beleive that makes a difference too. Also, if you haven't had her long, she just may be warming up to you. My son goes thru a transition if the daycare worker switch shift which is what happend during the summer. It was the same people, just at different times and it took him 2 weeks to get adjusted back to eating good. Like the other moms said, breastmillk and formula should be the main source of nutrition right now so make sure she is taking her bottles. We are SLOWLY introducing solids to our little guy, but I do not let them at daycare because of the allergy factor and he just isn't good enough with them yet. So, in my opinion, I would not give solids with out the mothers ok. If she finds out you did, she could pull her daughter from your care and recommend people not coming to you. It is never ok do something without asking when it comes to little ones. If you are truely concerned about her health, keep an eye on her weight yourself. If she is gaining weight, she should be fine. My little guy is tiny for his age, but eats like a pig for us, not for daycare. Sorry this is so long, another suggestion is to remove distractions. My son gets very distracted and won't eat if there are a lot of people around or a lot of noise. Hope this helps.
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C.M.
answers from
Kansas City
on
How many times has this happened? If it was just once or twice, I would think it might just be that particular food but it sounds more like you have been trying for a while. I think I would go over the routine that the mom goes through before feeding her, especially on the weekends when mom has her the whole day and not just at night. Maybe there is something in mom's routine that is different then what you are doing that makes a difference for her. Something like, you might heat up the baby food and mom gives it to her cold could make a huge difference in whether or not she will eat it. Mine always liked the cereal and the baby food mixed together which gave it a little thicker consistancy. There has to be something else going on if her mom doesn't have any problems getting her to eat at the same times that you normally feed her. It might even be something as simple as the spoon you use if it is not what she uses at home or whether mom holds her and you put her in a high chair. I know that sounds extreme but some babies really are that picky.
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E.Y.
answers from
Topeka
on
I think part of the issue is that you're not the Momma. My son wouldn't eat for anybody but me for a very long time! If it's okay with the mom, I would go ahead and start giving her table foods. Oh heck, even if it's not ok. My friend watched my son one day a week just to give me a break (I was all by myself, husband was overseas) and she started giving him foods I hadn't given the okay on. He's still alive and kicking.... literally! LOL! There are still foods I cannot get him to eat that he'll eat for my friends. Kids are weird.... I think it's part of their 'power'. Good luck!
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E.B.
answers from
Springfield
on
Hi B.! First I want to say that I think that the "puffs" you are talking about are the veggie or fruit puffs in the baby food isle. Not Cheese puffs that D S said. Am I right??
Second you should totally talk to mom if you are concerned in any way, I agree with D S on that it shows you care. Just do it in a very easy going way. Maybe mom is busy with a job and other kids it may be hard for her to introduce the table foods. Just tell her you'd be happy to do that for her. I would be happy to have a sitter like you if I worked outside the home! I think she will find it helpful. If not don't worry about it. She'll come around and eat. Is she normal weight? Trust me if she was really hungry she'd eat or at least take her bottle. She won't starve herself. Promise!! I'll say a prayer for the situation and that mom takes to your suggestions openly and non offensive! I know personally I would not be offended. Take care!
E.
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M.K.
answers from
Kansas City
on
With mom's permission of course, try soft, slimey (think oatmeal or mushed bananas, like the other mom mentioned) feed yourself foods. It's messy, but even with exploration, some of it will make it in her mouth. As for the bottle, maybe she is ready for the sippy cup?? One more idea, if she's teething, it might just be uncomfortable for her to eat right now.
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B.S.
answers from
Joplin
on
Some kids just want to hold the spoon themselves. My grandson was like that. You couldn't get him to eat a drop, unless he could hold the spoon. One time I saw my daughter-in-law give him a spoon to hold in his hand, while she fed him from another ! LOL ! Whatever works, I guess. He's a terrific eater now.
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C.P.
answers from
Wichita
on
Hi, I run my own licensed daycare and have cared for over 15 different children in the last 2 1/2 years... 6 of which began coming to me when 10 months or younger. You should just be honest with the mother about your concerns... What are you afraid of? A good mother would appreciate a child care provider's concern and dedication to seeing that her child/ children are receiving the best care. It does sound like the little girl is tired of baby food and table foods could be perfect at this time, just talk to the mom about it. Until then I would not do anything the mother has not asked you to do such as try to feed the little girl table foods. As much as you care about this little girl, she is not yours and you dont want to risk hurting your relationship and trust with the mother. Good luck to you and remember most babies at some point go through a slump when it comes to transitioning from one food type to another. She's gonna be just fine.
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A.C.
answers from
Kansas City
on
B.,
I totally hear what you are saying. My son is 6 1/2 months old and weighs 18 pounds (so obviously he's not a thin child), but he can go forever without eating. He eats babyfood twice a day, but only drinks about 12 ounces of mild in a 24 hour period. He just pushed the bottle away and is not hungry. He is not irritable or anything, in fact he is a very happy kid. Let me know if you find out what to do in such case as you are not alone in wanting these kids to eat!!
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A.C.
answers from
St. Louis
on
She should be getting most of her nutrition from formula or breastmilk. You should not be withholding her bottle, that is what she needs! The baby food is just an extra. A doctor would tell you the same thing. While it may be okay to start her on table foods, it is also okay if she takes her time about getting there. The bottle will fill her up. You should only be concerned if she stops being active and becomes listless and seems tired. I know that if my child's baby sitter started giving my daughter table foods without my permission I would be upset. This is probably something that the mom wants to start herself. Talk to the mom first, and remember there are many things that kids under 1 are not allowed to have b/c of allergies.
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M.
answers from
Wichita
on
Hi B.,
I would NOT give her anything without clearing it with her Mom first. And I agree, please don't withhold her bottle. If you think she is ready for table foods, voice your opinion to her Mom, then see what her Mom says. Again, I would not give her anything without Mom's permission because if she has an allergic reaction, it would be your responsibility.
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J.S.
answers from
Memphis
on
Perhaps it's something as little as the spoon/bowl that you are using? Maybe see if mom could bring a set of her own from home. If she really seems interested in just the table foods, I would ask mom about starting a few bites of table foods instead of the baby food. That's about the time most kids start to transition to table foods. If this is her 3rd child, mom would probably love the idea of not having to buy jars of baby food anymore:) My guess is that mom has started some table foods at home, and like most babies, once they start table food, there's no turning back to baby food.
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H.L.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Hi B.,
I would definatly move to table foods or at least talk to the mom about it. Maybe even try to feed the baby while the mom is there to see if she does it. I have 3 Children a 4yr old, 2 almost 3yr, and a 7 1/2month old! And my oldest was almost the same way she never really ate baby food we just fed her off our plates because thats what she wanted! As long as its healthy and shes not going to choke why not! I hope that helps! Some children just don't like the texture of the baby food, they need something more. I hope that helps. let
me know how it turns out!
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J.L.
answers from
Kansas City
on
No, I don't think it's rude to ask about table food. The poor kid has to eat something! The mom can feed her what she wants at home, but when she is with you she needs to eat whatever you can get down her (as long as she's not allergic to it of course). Table foods are cheaper and healthier than that baby food anyway. Rice cereal that you cook is good for babies. You can mash up fruit or veggies in a blender too. My kids always liked squash and carrots. My oldest girl turned orange from eating so much of that stuff! What on earth are "puffs"? I wouldn't withhold her bottle though. She needs her fluids.
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M.S.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Try the drinkable smoothies maybe or I know when my son would not eat anything he would eat yo baby yogurt he loved it.
Good luck.
M.
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K.R.
answers from
Kansas City
on
When my son was that age he protested baby food at daycare as well. My mom watches him so I agreed to let her try the soft table foods. He did great and loved them. I think it was largely due to the fact that the other kids were eating table food so that is what he wanted too. So as a mom who has been through this, I think talking to her is the best way to go. let her know you are concerned that she is not eating her baby food, but wants her puffs so you were thinking she might take table food better during the day. THey can then feed her baby food in the evenings if she will take it. I donated all of our unopened baby food to a shelter since once my son had table food there was no going back!!
Good luck! It says a lot that you are concerned! They are lucky to have you!
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K.B.
answers from
Kansas City
on
One day my son refused to eat baby food at his sitter's house.
She ended up giving him real food in small bite size pieces and let him feed himself.
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B.H.
answers from
Kansas City
on
After a good run of eating, at about the same age my daughter started vetoing everything I tried to feed her. She would clamp her mouth shut and push the spoon away. After endless funny faces and sound effects (trying to get her to laugh to sneak the spoon in) I tried to give her some of the baby food in a syringe. She took it. After a couple of shots, she started letting me feed her with the spoon again. I had to do this a few time over the next week, but ultimately we were back to spoon feeding again (in addition to the finger foods). I also let her have her own plastic spoon too when she's feeling independent. I even dip it in what we're eating to let her feed herself.
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D.L.
answers from
Topeka
on
You aren't a first time mom either and it sounds as if your mommy instincts are kicking in that something isn't right with this situation. If you are doing something for her own good then take a stand. Either tell the mom you are worried and things to change immediately or find another sitter. Or, change her menu without the mom knowing, it sounds deceitful but what is best for this little person is the priority. Remember the diapers will change so mom will eventually realize something is different. If you are nervous about it then just experiment and see if this is the problem.
Good luck,
D.
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J.C.
answers from
St. Louis
on
It is so hard watching other people's children. They don't realize that sometimes what their child does for them, they may not do for the sitter & it goes the other way too. I've seen frustrated parents that their kids ate & slept better at the sitter's than at home. It's also hard if they are by the book parents, instead of noticing their own child's needs. If they are open parents you may be able to talk to them & ask them about some applesauce or thinned down mashed potatoes(etc), but if not all you can do is make sure she gets plenty of bottles. Will she take rice cereal in her bottle to help fill her up? If she doesn't get crabby than just leave her on the bottle until the parent says you can do otherwise. Good luck & just keep doing the best you can!
PS My kids hated baby food!
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M.G.
answers from
St. Louis
on
Hi B.. I was in your exact same position about a year ago when I watched my twin niece and nephew all day long. As their nanny and a mom myself I knew that we should start table foods. I even went to the doctor appts and heard that it was ok for them to start some foods. For me and probably for you too, the issue is not really if the baby is ready, but more the mom. My sister-in-law wanted to be a good mom and her way of doing that was buying plenty of baby food jars. I think it was also easier for her because she never had to stop to think "what am I going to feed my little ones" when a baby food jar was always available. I kept hinting that the kids would like to use their own hands to eat... I was glad that she eventually bought cheerios. But even with the cheerios, mom would offer cheerios all the time without anything else.
If you want to start speeding up the process, I would offer her some cut up fruit that you are eating or serving to the other children, then tell mom that her baby was offered it and actually liked it.
Also, if her mom is like my sister-in-law who really has no idea of what table food to offer, be ready to sound like the expert and give her plenty of suggestions. Good luck! It won't last forever!
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B.G.
answers from
Springfield
on
Maybe you could try making her baby food? Cook veggies, etc. and puree them yourself. It would taste much better as well. I wouldn't introduce foods she hasn't had in baby food yet, in case of allergies, but perhaps just a more appetizing version of what her mom brings?
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V.Y.
answers from
Wichita
on
fIRST ASK THE MOTHER ABOUT THE SET UP AT HOME. WHERE DOES SHE EAT, WHERE IS EVERYONE ELSE. AND SO ON. THEN MAYBE YOU MIGHT TRY TO LET HER FEED HERSELF. I KNOW SHE IS Y.; BUT SOME DEVELOP EARLY AND IS ABLE TO DO IT. THEN THERE IS THE SPOON ISSUE. SOME OF THEM HAVE A TASTE TO THEM OR THE METAL IS SHARP OR GRATING ON HER MOUTH. THESE ARE JUST A FEW THINGS TO THINK ABOUT. GOOD LUCK
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C.W.
answers from
Kansas City
on
I remember my middle child (now 13) doing the same thing... He just did not want "Baby" food... I made soft type sandwiches (ie PBJ or lightly Toasted Cheese) and used scissors to cut them down into "cheerio" size bites, put him in a high chair and kept giving him a couple pieces at a time on the tray and let him feed himself. This was when he was 8 months old and he did just fine and ate a full size sandwich with ease! Once he mastered chewing the soft stuff, I started adding everything we ate, and just cutting it down to his size.
Good luck!
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S.M.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Ask the Mom to get more finger foods, there are lots... like chicken sticks that look like vienna sausage and there are baby fruits and wagon wheels "Which are like eating a dry cereal" but, soft when saliva reaches them.Have her check out toddler foods .some kids will only eat what they can hold in their hands.
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S.H.
answers from
Kansas City
on
My 11 mo DD has been really slow taking to solid food, and some days she's just not "into it" either. Even on good days, getting her going is a little rough - she'll protest the first few bites, then eats with no problem. We use the 2-spoon trick (one for her to hold, one for me to feed her from) as well, and it works great for us.
Don't feel bad that you've had trouble, though - it's just a matter of learning the right combination AND having the baby in the right mood. Maybe sometime you could have the mom feed her in front of you so you can see what she does - she may have some trick or technique that she doesn't even realize!
One caution, though - please DO NOT feed her anything that her mom hasn't brought for her or specifically ok'd. Even thought you are a mom, you're not HER MOM, and you need to feed her what her mom says or decline to watch her. As I've had to tell my MIL (who just wants to "help" DD get going on table food), you don't need to know the "rules" of what babies can eat when or have any experience with that, and you don't need to think about what might or might not be good for her - you just need to follow the parents' wishes (provided of course there's not a neglect situation or something). If I found that my DD's sitter had fed her something I hadn't ok'd - even just spices or something - that would be a breach of my trust, and we would not use her again.
Just let the baby take her time, and perservere. As long as she's taking enough mom's milk or formula, she's fine nutritionally. And, rest assured that she can't "fill up" on puffs -- they disintegrate to almost nothing!!
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D.E.
answers from
St. Louis
on
Since you recently starting caring for this baby, she may need time to adjust to eating while with you.
It isn't rude to suggest different foods: it shows that you care.
If Mom gives you the green light: try well-cooked, soft vegetables, cut into small cubes that she could try to feed herself. Since she likes to feed herself Cheese Puffs, she may like this.
She SHOULD NOT be eating Cheetos at this age. Junk food is not supposed to be the first finger food for a baby. You can ask a peditrician for a list of reccommended foods for her age. ;)
Avoid hard to chew foods like corn. Experiment with different textures and flavors BUT do NOT add salt of anything to them. Babies should eat natural foods without butter or salt.
Feeding time is an important bonding time - keep it pleasant.
Best of luck!
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J.A.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Neither of my two girls would ever eat cereal or baby food. I know my m-i-l thought it was something I did/didn't do. :) Anyway, they loved table food, but just would never eat the baby food--even fruit. The table food certainly would be a good idea. Mine both loved it and really took off eating solids once they could feed themselves. God bless you for caring so much for this little girl.
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F.M.
answers from
Kansas City
on
I had a daughter like this. She didn't get a tooth in her head until 10.5 mo old. Does the baby have teeth? She likes finger foods, I would let her gum small chopped foods like canned pears, peaches, and the like. Otherwise, let her have her bottle, was my peds recommendation. And, as long as you offer, then give her milk, then she is good as long as she is gaining weight. Don't force it, or she will have a problem. My 11 yo now, is a food picker, it takes her longer to eat. And, she eats well. And, babies tend to know what they are allergic to, so keep that in mind. Kymberli
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S.M.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Start her on table food anyway. I used to babysit one little girl and her mother wouldn't feed her cereal and she was four months old at the time and I asked her about it since she was getting WIC anyway if she was going to be eating cereal and her mother's reply was she was going wait until she was six months old and I was shocked. I started her on cereal anyway and she ate like a little piglet and I even started her on table food such as green beans and cooked carrots as well. So I just would go ahead and start the little one on table food and see how she does with it. Just don't say anything to the mother and another thing might be is that she is wanting puffs instead of real food or babyfood. Try that and get back with me. I'm a mom of one and have practically raised both of my aunts kids. I've also babysat alot in my early teenage years as well.