9 Month Old Not Taking His Second Nap Anymore! Help!

Updated on August 17, 2008
B.B. asks from Ladera Ranch, CA
29 answers

Hello,

I have a 9 month old baby boy who decided just recently that he doesn't need his second nap anymore! He used to take 3 naps a day and has been down to 2 for the last couple months, but now he'll only take his morning nap at 9:30/10 a.m. for about 1 hour 45 minutes. I read online that babies his age need 3 hours of sleep during the day (ie: (2) 1 1/2 hour naps), so this is why I'm concerned.

I still put him down around 3:00 p.m. for quiet time, hoping that he'll fall asleep, but he'll just talk to himself--sometimes for 45 minutes. I just go ahead and take him out if it gets to be that long.

I've tried rocking him (which used to work when he was younger), but that stirs him up even more. I've also tried letting him "cry it out", but like I said above, he'll talk for 45 minutes to an hour. He's always well-fed and changed before I put him down so that one is ruled out. :)

So, I guess my questions would be:
1) How to get him on a consistent 2 nap/day schedule?
2) I would be interested to know what your schedules are like each day--times of wake time, naps and feedings.
3) What do you do if your child is not sleeping after a certain amount of time?

Thank you so much,
Rebecca

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So What Happened?

Hello everyone,

Thank you all so much for the great advice and encouragement! I ended up moving up his second nap back an hour and it's worked like a charm. He now takes two naps a day--one at 9:00/9:30 and another at 2:00/2:30. He obviously has been needing this change in schedule because he now sleeps for 2 hours/each nap.

Thank you, again!

~ B.

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L.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have twins who are 10 1/2 months old. They used to take 3 naps, and now take 2. This is their schedule:

7:00ish wake up
8:00 bottle (6 ounces)
8:45 breakfast
9:30 - 11:00 nap
11:45 bottle (6 oz.)
12:30 lunch
2:00 - 3:30 nap
4:30 bottle (6 oz.)
5:30 snack
6:30 dinner
7:00 bath
7:45 bottle (6 oz. or less)
8:00ish bed

Hope this helps!

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L.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wish that I could offer you advice. I have a 25-month-old and a 10-month old, and oftentimes, neither one of them takes any naps in a day. This is tough as I go to school part-time and my husband is out of town over half the year.

Lynne E

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Um, babies change so much....each developmental change they go through causes a hiccup in their "usual" sleep habits. It could be too that maybe your baby is going through "separation anxiety" and/or physical changes ie: the ability to roll over, sit up, stand, cognitive changes etc.

(oh another thought...maybe, you are putting him down for his 2nd nap too late? The time span between his first nap, and his second nap is sorta spread out. Maybe by this time he is just too "over-tired." Over-tired babies/children actually do NOT sleep better and actually have a harder time falling asleep).

Babies have a pattern of: wake, feed, awake time, nap/sleep. The window of "awake time" is about 2-3 hours... then they are tired again. At this age, even a bath and diaper change is an "activity." No need to get them "too" wired-up and active all day just to get them to tire them out and sleep later. Sometimes, this back-fires.

(1) How? Consistency, and routine. Keep it consistent... everyday. Same routine, same time, same sequence, same nap/sleep place, same everyday. *Also, let the baby wind-down before nap or sleep. Don't just plop them down after playing or something exciting. They NEED to unwind, first... pre-nap preparations.

(2) For me, since my son for example was a baby (he's just made 24 months old)... he napped twice a day, and still does. He wakes in the morning about 6:30a.m. and has his morning nap at 9:30 (I put him down at this time, and even if still awake will fall asleep by himself). He naps for 2 hours. Next, he wakes, has awake time, eats etc. His next nap is at about 2:30-3:00... he naps for 2 hours. My 5 year old daughter ALSO naps at this time, the same time as my son, and they both nap for 2 hours. This is their rhythm... and the routine I have done consistently since they were babies. Oh, as babies, I would nurse my kids before each nap, and after each nap, before solids, before bed, and during the night IF they were hungry.

3) if my baby/child does not sleep...for my son- I go in, check his diaper (he will not sleep if he has poop) I don't talk to him or interact, put him back down, say "sleep..." and walk out. He doesn't cry... and will go back down. IF he still does not fall asleep (on the rare occasion during growth spurts or developmental changes), then after say 45 minutes, I let him out. At night, still... they go to bed at the same time, regardless if they nap or not. Even with their afternoon nap, they still sleep fine at night. My girl goes to bed at 8:30, my son at 8:00. Due to their ages.
If my eldest child does not nap (on the rare occasion), I tell her that it is "quiet time" and no talking or waking up brother and Mommy is resting too... because she is older, this is fine with her and she usually does comply.

My kids now.. after being used to this routine and habit... I just tell them... "okay, nap time in 15 minutes...get ready..." and they do! I'll change my son's diaper, he has some milk first, maybe read for 10 minutes or watch his favorite "Little Bear" video for 15 minutes...this makes him un-wind... then off he goes. My son has even on occasion just walked downstairs on his own, grabbed his favorite stuffed cow, and walked in the bedroom and climb into his crib. My girl, will put on her pajamas...go pee, and go into her bed. They both sorta "hang out" at first in their crib/bed... but then they fall asleep. No, it's not "magic"... I worked hard on this and consistently. It took effort. Now, they don't even "protest" about nap or sleep time. Rarely.

This is just my routine I worked out for myself, trial and error, but it WORKS! I have always had a "nap" routine as part of their day....it was not nilly-willy or erratic. So, they are "used to it." THIS is the key, I have found. They nap only at home... this is where they nap best. I do not take them out or on the road at their nap times. I keep it regular. PLUS for me, because I have a "schedule"... it makes it easy for me to plan my day/activities/appointments etc. because it is "predictable."

Well, have to get my kids down for their afternoon nap now... hope this helps. Again, consistency, regularity, and routine. The same everyday.

Good luck!
Susan

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L.A.

answers from San Diego on

Rule number one for mothering. There is no such thing as "normal", and you should not be a slave to what you read online or in books. Each child is an individual. Your son is not normal. He is extraordinary, is he not? A special, unique person. I have four kids and one granddaughter. Some were nappers, some were not. My firstborn was not a napper, and, poor kid, since he had a rookie mom who assumed all babies napped, it was a bit rough. Your son has the same problem, a first time mom. It sounds to me like your son has a perfectly good schedule! Accept your son for who he is, accept that he takes one nap and has one quiet time each day, and life will be much easier. For both of you. This is a matter of your accepting reality, not something that should become a power struggle or, heaven forbid, a cry-it out issue. Please don't do that. You know it's not the way to go.
If your son could write in to us his questions would be:

1) What do you do if your mom consults the internet and books instead of listening to her own instincts?
2) How can I make her accept me for who I am, a one-of-a-kind individual unlike anyone else?
3) How can I get my mommy to relax and just enjoy me?

Okay, I have to go. I need to call my 26 year old son and tell him that he is not normal because the internet said he should have been taking two 1 1/2 hour naps when he was 9 months old. :0)

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello B.

I went through the same issue with 3 of my kids (now 6, 3, and 18 months). I would not be concerned about him not getting enough sleep. Every child is different and so is his need for sleep. I have 4 kids and all of them (well the baby os only 6 weeks old so I don't know yet) are very different in their need for sleep.

Since they wouldn't take 2 naps i moved lunch to 11:30 a.m. and put them down for a early afternoon nap. My now 3 year old stopped to nap altogether when he was 2 1/2 and nothing I do can change that. He wakes up at 6 a.m. and goes to sleep with the others at 7 p.m. I still try to give him some quiet time though were he's supposed to slow down.

We read so much about what our children are supposed to do and when they''re supposed to do it, that we get worried to easily. But we are all individuals with different needs and preferences.

I guess what I'm saying is, that you should just follow your baby's lead. You'll know whether he's sleeping enough or not.

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S.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

B.,
Dont worry about it I have two children and around none month my daughter stopped napping all together. I think it was harder on me than it ever was on her. Now even to this day and she is 4 if I put her down for a nap during the day she is up all night and can't sleep. If your little man is getting good sleep at night then dont worry about it. he should be getting about 12 hours a day. If he isn't don't put him down for the quite time anymore. Kids are all different some need naps till their much older other are better off not getting a lot of sleep in the day and then getting it all at night. He will be fine as long as his night sleep is good. Good luck
S.

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T.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

My pediatrician told us (when our son was 9 mos old...he is now 12 mos old) that he needed approximately 14-14.5 hours of sleep each day. That usually worked out to about 10-11 hours at night and 3-4 during the day.

My son also dropped his third nap around 7-8 months old, but has consistently stuck to a two nap schedule since then. We put him down for bed at night b/w 7-7:15PM and he usually doesn't fall asleep until around 7:30-7:45pm. He wakes up b/w 5:45-6:15PM each morning.

During the day, I put him down for his first nap around 9-9-9:15AM...he sleeps b/w 1.5-2 hrs. His next nap is usually around 1:30-2pm...he sleeps b/w 1.5-2 hrs.

The key is not let him stay up and be stimulated for too long. Once he's been awake for more than three hours, he may start to get "overstimulated" and won't sleep as well for his next nap or when he goes to bed at night. It's somewhat counter-intuitive, but the more sleep he gets, the more he will sleep. (My pediatrician told us this long before we got the hint...she was completely right!)

I also noticed in your message that you're not putting your son down until almost three in the afternoon...once he's been awake for about 3.5-4 hours. By this time, he may be too tired to sleep (overstimulated.) Perhaps you should move his morning nap back a half hour or so, and try putting him down a little earlier in the afternoon...basically don't let him be awake/stimulated for more than three hours at a time.

Also, try putting him to bed b/w 6-8pm too. It sounds strange, but we used to put our son down around 8pm, and he'd wake up around 4:30-5AM (like clockwork), but as soon as we moved his bedtime back an hour, he started sleeping an extra -hour (that's an extra 1.5-2 hrs a night!)

All of the above advice is basically what our pediatrician told us...it worked! Our son sleeps very well, regularly. It sounds strange, but the more they sleep, the more they will sleep:-)

Good luck! And hopefully, sweet dreams:-)

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R.L.

answers from San Diego on

It's quite early to be down to one nap but each kid is different. If he's only going to nap once, I'd try to push his morning nap to afternoon. At least 1130 and put him down for bed earlier, ie. 630 or 7am. I had to do this with my son but only at a yr old. You could also try increasing his activity. Try to get him out between his two naps, take him to a park, take him on a long walk. Have you thought about baby swim classes?

There's no textbook answer. Some kids just need less sleep. Ideally he'd get at least 2 hrs during the day but how many hours is he sleeping at night? It's more about the total sleep. Pushing his one nap more towards the afternoon may lengthen it and help afternoon cranky attacks.

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J.D.

answers from Reno on

I would move the morning nap up by 15 minutes a day until he's going down around 11:30 or 12:00. Let him sleep for three hours then, and he won't need a second nap. Nine months seems a little early for only one nap, but all kids are different. Good luck! :)

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A.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have you tried keeping him awake till noon and then letting him sleep? Sometimes that makes a difference. My daughter is 16 months and just deciding that she only wants one nap but it has been all over the place! Maybe try keeping him awake 15 minutes more each day until you reach noon and you could also try moving his bedtime earlier 15 minutes a day and see how that works.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son was down to 1 nap a day at about the same time. Try not to get too concerned with what the 'experts' say. As long as your son is happy and healthy and not cranky, then let him take just 1 nap. I found in the first few weeks when my son went through this, every few days he would have to take two naps almost like he was catching up, but soon he'll adjust.

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C.C.

answers from Reno on

As for the "Cry It Off" technique...it usually takes a couple hours of crying before they go to sleep and that lasts about a week or so while the crying tapers from 2 hours to no crying at all. Of course it's a controversial means of getting your child to sleep on their own. We did it when our son was a year old because he was a really good manipulator who could keep you up for hours just trying to get him to sleep. So I recommend it to anyone who is comfortable with doing it and knows they are doing it for the right reasons.

About the naps, our son was taking one long nap at 9 months and that lasted until recently and he's 4. He was getting the 3 hours for the most part and sometimes more. You might want to try holding off on the nap until closer to 11 or 12. Also, get him outside mid-morning to wear him out; that makes a huge difference. You can take him for a walk while he rides one of those toys that require him to push his legs to go. This was our schedule at 9 months:

6:30 AM - Good morning!
7:00 AM - Breakfast
7:30 AM - Playtime/Running Errands, etc.
10:00 AM - Snack
10:15 AM - Play in the backyard or go to the park with a riding toy
12:00 PM - Lunch
1:00 PM - Nap
3:30 PM - Up from nap
Bedtime was around 8:00 PM

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T.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Not everyone can be on the same nap schedule but he may be ready to drop his second nap. so the best thing for you to do is switch his schedule around. As such don't put him down for the morning nap and try to get him to last until 11:30 or even better yet 12:00 he'll then take about a 3 hour nap until around 3:00 and then if he's up until around 8:00 he will be plenty tired for bed time hope this helps. Good luck.

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C.N.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Dear B.,

I named my first doll Rebecca, so I am always happy to talk to a Rebecca. At nine months aren't their brains maturing more - I think it is the cerebral cortex, that is where we plan and do all sorts of things. Maybe he is just reacting to that wake up of his brain. I think that you need to continue to let him play quietly in his bed for as long as you think that he is content. Then he will maintain that habit of resting, and some days he may be more tired and fall asleep.

If you put him down to rest at 3:00 maybe he is overtired, that seems a bit late in the day to me. Maybe also it cuts into the end of the day 'activities' too? Try it a little earlier . My gr grand daughter used to really be crazy if we let her sleepy signals get by us. So we watch her more closely and get her to resting before the earth shakes and she can't rest.

She was one of those who didn't sleep long and we really had to work to get her into a 'regular' schedule of rest and play and so on and so forth.

Good Luck, C. N.

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J.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

You and I are in the same boat!! I have a 9 month old son, who just recently has been napping not so great. He hasn't completeley refused his afternoon nap- but today it was down to about 45 minutes- that is after about 25 minutes of fussing to get him down! I don't know what is up- it MUST be a phase! Two of his top teeth popped through earliet this week- so I am hoping it is just terrible teething (poor sweet baby). He also has just started pulliung himself up and during the afternoon nap yesteday he decided to cry for an hour or more- STANDING in his crib. I went in a few times and laid him down, just out of desperation to help him get some zzzz's. Here is our schedule in hopes that you will figure it out for the both of us...Oh and by the way, his magic time for wake time (end of one nap to begining of another) has been 2 1/2 hours like clock work- anything more than that and he has trouble falling asleep. I feel like I am jinxing myself complaining at all about daytime sleeping because he is such a good night sleeper! I, also, read that he should be sleeping about 3 hours during the day- and I really wish he would!! Hope it works out for you- let me know if you figure it out.

6:30 ish- Wake
8:00 Breast, then breakfast
9:00-10:30ish Nap (sometimes just 1 hour!)
10:30ish- Breast
12:15 LUNCH
1:15- 2:45 Afternoon Nap (this has been trending more towards 45 minutes lately and it is killing me- I even tried putting him down a little later, but he just gets overtired)
3:00 Breast
4:15- Used to be short late afternoon nap, but not for the past 3 weeks or more
5:00 Dinner
6:30 Bath, Breast, and Bedtime stories
7:00 Asleep

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter did that too. she is now 18 months and takes 1 nap around 1 for 3 hours if she can (I have 2 other kids, she gets gyped alot in the sleep area). At some point she started getting tired later. I also thought it was weird that she wanted to go to sleep just a coupe hrs after she woke up-but not later in the day. I have no offers of solutions though.

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

maybe he is having a growth spurt? Mine would do this and stay up all the time, eating and playing and it lasts sometimes one day, sometimes several days, then you get relief when they start to catch up on sleep afterwards and you think something is wrong when they sleep too much.

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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

my advice is to move his morning nap to an afternoon nap. keep him up until 1 or 2 p.m. That way, by the afternoon, he'll be pooped and will sleep longer (possibly 3 hours, as you said). But you'll have to do this gradually; move his nap a little later everyday, until you reach 1-2 pm.

Honestly, it's okay that he has one nap a day if he's unable to nap 2x. Usually, by 1-yr-old, babies go down to 1 nap. Your son is 3-months away...

my daughter went down to 1 nap at 13 months. And she now naps 2.5 to 3 hours everyday.

btw,you should count yourself lucky that your son is able to stay in his crib for 45 minutes without crying for you so that you get some "me-time" to yourself. Consider that his QUIET/rest time. I think he's a happy baby, and you should leave well enough alone...not force him to sleep (the cry it out technique etc.) Otherwise, you may end up making your baby a frustrated, unhappy boy. Rather than the happy-go-lucky baby that he seems to be.

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C.Y.

answers from Los Angeles on

This is a little early to give up the second nap, but not out of the ballpark. Most kids give up the second nap around a year old. Try to think of your child's sleep in a terms of how much he gets in a 24 hour period. A child of this age should get around 14 hours of sleep total. This is just an estimate - children vary. But if your child is getting around 14 hrs between naps and nighttime, then don't worry.

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S.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wouldn't be too concerned if he is sleeping through the night. My son's schedule changes regularly. Sometimes he will take 2 naps (around 10am and 2:30pm). But not all the time. His daily sleep time will be anywhere from an hour to 3. I guess it all depends on what THEY think they need. But I think you are on the right track setting quite time aside. My son stands up and wales now if he doens't want to sleep. It's much nices to listen to them babble.

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

how much sleep is he getting at night? sometimes if they get too much sleep at night the naps suffer..i know they say sleep begets sleep but if he's sleeping like 13 to 14 hours at night then he won't take 2 naps..
my son dropped to 2 naps at 6 months and 1 nap at 11 months..
i used to have to push him in the stroller back and forth on my porch to get 2 naps ..i would face him towards the wall and sometimes push for 30 minutes! Then i would wheel the stroller into his room and he would nap for an hour to 1.5 hours.
also now that he's older 2.5 years old...there will be times where he won't nap..it's rare but when he's not napping i take him to the park and at his normal nap time i will put him in his stroller and go window shopping..he dozes off and i get him back on schedule.
your son might just be teething a bit..i remember at 9 months there was some trouble w/ naps..my son was also walking at 9 months so he was reaching a milestone..could your son be milestoning?
are you putting him to bed too early? if he isn't taking 2nd nap then you should put him to bed earlier...if he's getting 12 hours at night then i would say that's why he's down to one nap..they only need 14 hours of sleep in 24 hours.

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R.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

hi B.,

i put my 1 year old daughter down for her second nap at around 4pm and i let her stay in there until i feel she is ready to come out, nap or not. sometimes she sleeps and for some reason, other times she does not. no matter, i just try to stay somewhat consistent on times and let her do her thing in the crib. i always leave books and a few toys around the periphery of the crib so she can play if she does not want to sleep. moreover, it gives me a little time to myself to take care of something or start dinner. also, i keep her in there for over an hour and a half sometimes so i wouldn't worry about how long he is in his crib unless he really starts to freak out....

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K.M.

answers from San Diego on

Babies go through phases in their sleep schedule. If you're diligent and continue with his usually naps and leave him in there for your specific amount of time he will go back to taking his naps. If you give in and get him up he'll drop the nap completely. Just stick to your guns and in a week or so you'll see him sleeping again. It's just a phase like every other phase that babies go through...good luck!

Our schedule(10.5months)
Wake 7am
Nap 10am(1hr)
Nap 1:30p(2hr)
Bed 7pm

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

I would try moving his afternoon naptime up to about 2:00. My babies could never stay awake happily more than 2 to 2 1/2 hours at a time at this age. If he talks to himself for 45 minutes to an hour, I would say to let him. At least he is getting a break from the activity, and this may just be a phase. He may start going to sleep again in a week or two. If he starts to cry, he may be ready to go to sleep, so let him cry for a little bit, or whatever you are comfortable with.

I only had two babies, but this was my experience: I made naptimes a priority, and I still do for them now as toddlers, we are always home for naptime and it is always right around the same time (unless there is an emergency or rare extenuating circumstances, of course). I followed the advice that I read for them for naps as babies, 2 naps that were 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours long, and mine were almost like textbook babies - but I know not all babies are like that! Both of them needed two naps until about 15-18 months of age, and slept 11-12 hours at night. I don't remember the details of dropping the morning nap for my oldest, except that is happened around 16/17 months (I had a newborn so it's all a little hazy), but with my second, he started taking longer naps in the morning, then he would only sleep for an hour or less in the afternoon. So I stopped putting him down in the morning when he was 15 months old - I would have to do something in the mid/later morning to let him be restful, like take a walk, or run an errand that would keep him in the car for a little bit, then I would give him an early lunch and put him down for his nap before noon. It took him several months to adjust to this, some mornings he would get a short cat nap in the car seat or the stroller, but he took a good nap in the afternoon, and I was able to have both boys down for nap at the same time! :)

I would say to keep trying to get him that afternoon nap and give it a couple of weeks. If you get the feeling he just doesn't need it anymore and he is happy until bedtime, you could move the morning nap to more of a "noon" nap so he is getting rest in the middle of his day.

Hope you find a happy solution for both of you!

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M.E.

answers from San Diego on

I have an 18 month old son who started taking only one nap a day around 7 or 8 months. The transition from two naps to one was easy for us and just means I get a long chunk of uninterupted time versus the short hour long breaks I used to get. I actually prefer the one nap thing.

In the books I've read different babies need different amounts of daytime sleep, so maybe you just have an active baby?

I guess the important things would be to make sure he is acting happy and doesn't seem over tired. If your son is cranky (not due to illness or teething) and is acting out, he may be over tired and need to be forced back into the 2 nap thing. If not, perhaps he is just trying to show you what he needs as regards his sleep schedule.

If you are able to transition to one long nap during the day, our schedule may work for you, although it is a little later/modified to work around my husband and my work schedules:

7:30 am - my husband leaves for work and change's William's diaper and gives him a sippy cup full of milk
9:00 am - William wakes up and we go down stairs for Breakfast and Super Why (PBS show)
9:30 am - playtime, park, beach, story hour, etc. dependent on the day
10:30 am - mid-morning snack and water break
11:00 am - return home for play time in the back yard or in the pool
12:00 pm - lunch time
12:30 pm - wind down time (mellow play time)
12:45 pm - story time in rocking chair with sippy cup of milk
1:00 pm - 4:30 pm - nap time (not always this long, but on average)
4:30 pm - gradual wake up (talk, sing, etc. in his bedroom)
4:45 pm - late afternoon snack
5:00 pm - free time to learn, play, run errands
6:30 pm - Daddy's home! Mommy has a date with a glass of wine :)
7:15 pm - dinner
7:45 pm - wind down
8:00 pm - lavendar bubble bath
8:15 pm - night time stories
8:30 pm - lights out!

Either way, at 12 months you are supposed to cut it back to one nap a day, so if your son continues to refuse with the 2 nap thing, you can just think of this as a head start :)

Good luck!

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K.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

This is about the time they switch to only one nap. Mine waited till about one year. I got very lucky. It's just your sons time. You will get used to it. I would not try to make him, and let him cry for an hour anymore.

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C.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Here are my thoughts:

Make his morning nap shorter--wake him up after about an hour.

Or. . .keep him awake longer and go to one long nap middle of the day. My daughter was a terrible day time sleeper and my 12 months we had given up on the idea of two naps a day--my twins then got one nap from about 12:30-2:30.

Some kids just don't need or want as much sleep. Also, if he is learning new skills (crawling, walking, etc) it can interfere with sleep so this may just be a phase.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

It sounds like he has set his own schedule. Some babies need more rest then others even when the "book" sayd a child needs a certain amount of something yo uknow your child best. The 45 minutes if quiet time sounds great though and it seems like he enjoys it.

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K.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son is 16 months old and he started taking only one nap around your childs age. My son will take a 2 to 4 hour nap depending on our activity level. Your son will figure it out, just give him time. I put our son to bed at 7:30 and he usually wakes between 5:30-6:30 and goes down for a nap around 10:30-11:00. It works and he is not cranky. My other two children did the same thing and they are normal.

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