9 Month Old Pulling Hair

When my son did this, I would tell him "gentle" then softly stroke his cheek or hair, and help him gently pet my hair with his hand. I would use the same word, "gentle" each time and do the same thing. He stopped grabbing and started stroking my hair. He's 2 now and still strokes my hair--it's become a calming tool for him. The word "gentle" worked well for me as he started doing other things too roughly, like pull the kitty's tail, bang toys on the table, etc. He knew what "gentle" meant. We're now working on this same issue with my 8 month old daughter, who grabs EVERYTHING and yanks hard.

Hi M.,
One of my sons did this for a long time. Tell him no and put him down. He will get upset and pretty soon, he will associate your no and getting put down with his pulling your hair. It can be a hard habit to break. For my son, it was one of his comfort techniques, so I didn't want to take it away. I taught him to play with it softly and warned him if it was too rough. I put him down after the warning if it didn't change. I also got him a large stuffed horse with a long soft mane. That was helpful. Try a few techniques and you will find something that works just right for you.

It's a phase that most kids go through. My 10-month old son started doing it just recently, and when he does it I tell him "no pulling - nice hands" and put him down. Or I simply pull my hair back and keep it out of his reach.

He is just learning cause and effect, I just had to pull my hair back in a pony tail when I had babies that young that did that. 9 Month olds do not really understand no, just put him down when he does it without saying much to him. He will realize it is a negative to do that. Part of what all babies do at that age.

Hi M., My son did the same thing. He eventually grew out of that stage after about a month. I told him that "that hurt's mommy" but it did not work. He will grow out of it but it takes time.

Every baby does this. What we do with our daughter when she does something that hurts, even if it doesn't yet, is yell "OUCH!" really really loud and either turn away and put her in the middle of the floor. It's pretty effective with our daughter.

I had a similar problem and my pediatrician recommended that I put the baby down immediately when it happens and say "I don't know what you want or I don't know what that means" when she would do it or shrug my shoulders and walk away so the baby knows it won't get him/her attention. The doctor explained that by saying "No" or slapping baby's hand it was negative attention that was reinforcing the behavior. It did the trick, although it did take awhile, because I had been reinforcing the behavior for so long. You may also want to try putting your hair up in a bun for awhile to make the game less accessible for him.

My daughter loved to pull my hair and this is what worked for us. Every time she pulled my hair, I would say, "Ouch that hurts mommy, we use nice hands." I would take her hand in mine and gently rub her hand through my hair. As I was doing this I would say, "See pretty, mommy has pretty hair, we use nice hands, etc. etc." She stopped the behavior in less than two weeks. She is 2.5 and still loves to rub her hands gently through my hair. This also works for hitting and biting. If you use it for biting, you say, "Our lips are for kissing and our mouths are for eating, we use nice mouths, etc. etc." Then plant a nice, gentle kiss on his cheek. If you just put your child down and walk away, this does not teach them the desirable behavior and they will only be confused as to why you no longer want to hold them.

When you do this, you are showing your child that hands, feet, etc. are used to do "nice" things to people. You are not focusing on the "bad" behavior, rather guiding them to the correct behavior. This really worked for my son when he was 10 months old and was hitting. Everyone "thought" he didn't understand what he was doing when he would hit. But he did. With this approach we didn't have to say, "NO!" and he learned how to deal with frustration, anger, etc. I hope this works for you. I would love to hear how it turns out and which approach works best for you.

Have you tried saying "that hurts mommy - no pull" and putting him down right when he pulls your hair?

My children have all pulled my hair, or anyone that was holding them for that matter, especially at about the age of 7 months when they really begin to get their grasping/grabbing reflex. They all grew out of it by the time they started walking. We always just pull the hair out of their hand and tell them no. And I wear my hair pulled back alot!!! We also try giving them something else to hold in their hands.

my little guy just turn a year old and we went through it too. I would tell him "no pulling hair" and tap his hand. then if he kept doing it, i put him down and said it again. but eventually he got it. and realized he wanted to be held more than he wanted to pull hair. hope it helps

It is just a phase, and he is just "exploring". My advice is before he starts pulling your hair put your finger in his fist, or give him a toy (but make sure it is a soft one in case he hits you in the head with it)

With my 10 yr old daughter, I yanked her hair back. She was only about a month old, and grabbed a fistfull and yanked. I grabbed as much as I could of hers and yanked it back. She has never pulled my hair since.

My 17 mo. old has started that, and I do the same with her. Sometimes she will pull really slowly to see if I notice. When I know the pain is almost there, I will grab hers and as she pulls mine, I will pull hers. So the harder she pulls the harder I pull. She has pretty much learned also.

That is something I could never stand with kids, so I keep my hair up alot. There is a couple of suggestions. I have found that if you show them that it hurts and do the same thing to them, they tend to stop, because they don't like it. Kind of like, treat others how you want to be treated. Have a great day.

The best solution is to keep your hair pulled back. My son did this and my duaghter is 10 months old and she is doing this. I just try and keep my hair pulled back, so they don't have the temptation. That also keeps me from having to say no 100 times a day. I think it is just so tempting for them to pull hair because it's always hanging in front of them.

L.