9 Month Old STILL Not Sleeping Thru Night

I would like to see what advice you get. My dd was born at 26 weeks and was home about 3 months (she would have been about 2 1/2 months old corrected age) when she started sleeping through the night. Then about 3 months ago, she started waking in the night. Usually I just have to go and give her back her binky, move her from the corner or give her a pat on the back and she goes back to sleep. But she does this sometimes 3 and 4 times every night. It makes it hard, as I work full-time outside of the home and have to be at work by 7:30 AM.

Does he have a blankie or soft bear that he snuggles with? My son did not make any attachments like this at first, but I put a few 'friends' in the crib with him. When he would wake from a nap, I would help him play with these friends for a few minutes and we would give each one of them hugs and kisses before I got him out of the crib.

After about a week, he began to do this on his own without any interaction from me, and he began kissing and hugging them goodnight when settling down for a nap or for bedtime. I would hear him occasionally wake, find a friend, chat with it a few minutes and put himself back to sleep. After another week, I never had to go up to soothe him unless he was sick.

Whatever you do, just keep trying. Every child you have will test you in new ways. Hang in there!

This probably is not what you want to hear but my daughter is 20 months and doesn't always sleeep throught the night either. Her pedi said "Benadryl", worked like a charm! We used it a couple of times and it helped her get into that pattern of sleeping all night. Now granted, I did say that she doesn't alway sleep throught the night, but she is teething and that has been the biggest problem since she was about 9 months old. We still have 8 more teeth to go too.
Good luck!!!

Honey, lots of babies are older than that when they sleep through the night. Just take him and snuggle up with him and go back to sleep. Night milk has less fat in it so he probably wants to nurse and that's okay. I always figured if you can do two things at once, just do it (like nurse and sleep). Good luck. My husband always said babies sleep through the night when they quit waking up.

Hi,

I rarely respond to these post's......but sleeping was and is still such a big shock to me. My (now 3) son was never a "good" sleeper. My mother says she laid me down and I went to sleep.....never really afraid of anything and loved to sleep 8-10 hours from infancy!! Oh well.

After doing some readng (research) and talking to other moms, I have concluded that "good" sleepers are part made and partly born with the "good" sleep DNA. Not to be too pesimestic, but keep up the good work of being a good mom, keep b-feeding and stop worrying unduly about the sleep issue. I think that the effort of getting them to sleep is harder than going with the flow. Have you allowed him to sleep with you? Just a thought. Anything to help all of you sleep better. Keep up the good work! PS My 3 year old gets up at 2:00am every night to go potty ( and have me lay down with him ) and 5:00am or so to come sleep with us. Yes, it's a drag but he's a happy boy and the alternitive is crying and wailing.
G.

I'm with you too. My daughter slept trhought he night from 3 weeks until 6 months. Now it's the same thing. Up every hour or so. We've tried everything we can think of. Different foods, less naps, more naps, colic, gas, hurngry, not hungry, let her cry, put her next to us, put her in the other room. I think she just really want to be held. I had to abruptly wean her this week and though it might help. But she's still up, maybe even more now because she misses the breast. I'm actually cherishing the nighttime cuddle sessions now because I miss breastfeeding already. I wish I could tell you a magic cure. Some babies have a cure, so just outgrow it. I've learned to accept that she'll probably outgrow this.

C.,
I am no expert by any means but I can share with you what worked for me. First there is a great book called the Baby Whisperer that offers some good tips on getting your baby to sleep through the night. I don't agree with everything author states but it offers a good foundation to see what works with your child. I have an almost 6 month old little girl, and I too was having trouble with her sleeping all the way through. There are a few things that I did to "train" her. First, it may not be teething but gas that is causing your little one to wake. Try some Infant gas drops before he nurses at bedtime. Are you offering him a pacifier or any "comfort" item like a blanket to cuddle with? If you are using a pacifier, you can make a plan. The first night when he wakes, you can pick him up and offer the pacifier. The next time he wakes, you keep him in the crib, but offer the pacifier and touch or pat him. You may have to stand there for 10-15 minutes for him to go back to sleep, but don't give in and pick him up - he just has not learned to settle himself. From this point on, continue offering the pacifier only and DON'T pick him up, since he is relying on you to put him to sleep. It may take a week or so of doing this, but remain consistent. The other thing is to keep to a bedtime routine - at least 30 minutes of quiet time before bed - not a lot of stimulation and do the same thing every night. For my daughter, she knows bedtime is coming by me first putting her in her pjs and diaper change, then we will sit and look at books in a dimly lit room and then when she fusses and let's me know she is done with that I nurse her. She is not all the way asleep when I lay her down, but I offer her the pacifier and her little blankie and then I leave the room to let her fall asleep without me distracting her.
That's what I have done and now Abi sleeps from 8 p.m. until 6 a.m. Hang in there girl, just be consistent and get a set routine with him he'll get it, but you have to train him to get it.

Hello,
Sorry to hear about this. I know how hard it can be I have a three year old daughter who didn't sleep through the night until she was over one years old, so I completely understand the frustration. I know that breast fed babies usually take longer to sleep through the night than formula fed ones. I know this sounds totally crazy because I thought it was when my friend told me about it until; I tried it. I started putting my daughter to sleep at 6pm when she was three months old and she started sleeping more at night. She finally got to a point where she was only waking up once a night to nurse for about 20 mins. This lasted until she was about 18month but I had a hard time breaking the habit (single mom, a bit of a push over=). I just think she was over-tired and this caused her to not sleep well. We kept the 6pm bedtime till she was about a year and a half then pushed it back to 7pm. She is now three and still goes to bed between 7 and 730pm. She is a really great sleeper now and much less grumpy than if she stays up late. I think some kids just need more sleep than others. All kids are different. Also my daughter did finally sleep through the night when I started weening her and cutting back feedings. Sometimes if you just get up with them and rock them but don't nurse they start to get the idea, and sleep through it. But I know how hard that can be at three in the morning when your tired. I hope you find something that works. It will get better I promise!

When our 9 month old would not sleep through the night (although he had until then), we realized he was having trouble with asthma and acid reflux. This may be something to check out with your pediatrician just to make sure.

My friend with a 1-year old took her son into the doctor to ask about the same thing, and her doctor told her to just let her son stay awake for one night and to turn off the monitor! I know how exhausting the sleepless nights can be, so that may be something to think about if nothing else works :-)

This may not be comforting, but it really sounds pretty normal. Every child is different, and so each of your children will have different needs.
My 2 older boys all nursed every 2 hours round the clock until they weaned at a little older than 2, and my 10 month old doesn't ever sleep more than 3 hours at a time. Although, they are/were waking to eat due to high metabolisms, I also believe that they just needed more mommy snuggle time.
Have you considered sleeping with your child? It would at least eliminate the frequency with wich you have to actually get out of bed.
Another thought is that perhaps he has some food allergy that is making him restless?
Good luck and I hope you get some sleep soon!

I had the same problem with my second child. She was not a good sleeper. We ended up co-sleeping and emjoyed it much better. At 18months we tried her in her bed again and now she does great sleeping through the night.

You didn't say how long you wait to go to him when he cries. My harsh but 3 kid successful plan is let him cry. If he ain't wet or hungry or in danger there is no reason to go to him. We would let our kids cry for up to 45 min when we trained them to sleep. It took 4 days for my two girls to just sleep and 3 for my son. Now granted we began it at 3 months but I bet u could get your big boy settled in good time. One thing was to reset the clock during a cry spell each time they were quiet even if for just a few minutes. We took a combined variation if babywise and healthy sleep habits healthy child. Amazingly putting them to bed earlier made for longer sleeps. Good luck.

Mine is just under 13 months old and just started sleeping through the night consistently the day he turned a year. I think his sleep patterns finally matured and I think it coincided with him being weaned - as I do think it was a lot about comfort sucking. My baby does not suck his finger or take a pacifier. I too am not a fan of the CIO method (few times I tried it, I cried as much as he did) so I was just being patient - and it has finally paid off.

Also, once he was weaned and on bottle/sippy, I was able to just offer him water in the middle of the night - which is not as appetizing as milk. That may have helped.

A book that may be helpful is THE NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION by Elizabeth Pantley. Good luck.

I have not seen the previous posts so I hope this isn't redundant. One of the main reasons my boys would wake up is because they were too hot. Check if you are under or over dressing him at night. If you think he might be too hot, make sure at the very least, you leave his feet uncovered. Another reason is that he make just not be tired... wrestle with him for a while, then a really warm bath and let him play for a while in the tub. He may just have a lot of energy he needs to get rid of. Try to skip the morning nap and make sure the afternoon one is not too late. It will make the evenings edgy until he adjusts. One of mine gave up their morning nap really early. Hang in there!

His sleeping habbits could be a result of a lack of activity during the day. Or maybe you carry him around alot during the day. Does he nap? Maybe limit the time during the day that he sleeps. When he wakes up do activities with him that stimulate him mentally and physically. Then at bedtime hold him and snuggle him so he calms down and fees secure. Talk to him and let him know you love him but it's time for bed and we all need to sleep so we can have fun together tomorrow. You may not think he understands everything but eventually it'll sink in. Try signing to him. You can find info on www.signingtime.org Baby's can understand sign language before they can speek. Maybe a change in communication will help eliminate some of your frustrations. It certainly helped with my daughter. She talks up a storm and still uses her signs with her words. It's an amazing tool. Good luck!
-P.

Hi C.. I know how frustrating it is. My son was doing almost the same thing. He would wake up in the middle of the night when I knew he was capable of sleeping through the night. He is almost a year now and he is sleeping through the night now. Although, when he was seven and eight months, he had to go into the hospital and that was very traumatic for him. I believe this contributed to it. But me and my husband would go get him when he cried and put him in bed with us. I was afraid we were getting something started that we didn't want to, however, it seems like he just needed that security of knowing we were there. Now he sleeps through the night in his own bed. Occasionally, he wakes up in the night, we put him in bed with us. But those night are getting to be very few. Maybe, your son is waking up because he feels insecure, and he may feel more secure if you maybe put him in bed with you when he wakes up. It may not be a hungry thing. I guess it is worth a try. When he wakes up go get him and put him in bed with you, with you laying on your side with your arm over him maybe even holding his hand. That will make him feel secure because he knows you are there next to him. That is what I did with my son. I hope I helped a little. Talk to you later.

Hi C.!

I have had the best results using a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth to get my children sleeping through the night. What I like best about W's book is that he makes the connection between what is happening on a developmental, chemical level with your baby and what you see your baby doing. So he can tell you what will work at certain ages and what won't. For instance, I can see the patterns in what you were describing. And I saw them in my own children. It's normal for a baby to sleep through the night in early infancy and later begin to wake up at night. The clock times that a baby wakes up are also pretty universal. You mentioned midnight as a wake-up time. Totally normal. You have also been able to gather that he's not hungry, but wants to be held. Normal. W says that by 9 months, the baby is not hungry but wants your attention. So, what does he recommend? He says there are a number of ways to help your baby sleep through the night, but his top recommendation is to have them cry it out. I haven't had the every 30 minutes waking up problem that you had, so I don't know how that affects it. But, maybe your baby is in a different place than he was before and will act differently this time. It helps to know that you are not harming your baby or abandoning him by letting him cry, but that he's protesting the loss of extra playtime/cuddling, and that you are helping him to get the rest he needs. Well, I hope this is some help. You'll figure it out one way or another. God bless. S.

Oh girl I feel ya! I wish I had some advice but all I can say is...You are NOT alone! My 11 month old is doing the same thing. I weaned him at 9 mo and that didn't help. He's eating solids...that doesn't help. We tried the bottle before bed...that didn't help. I feed him yogurt to help his digestion...that didn't help. He cries...I go cover him back up and he falls back asleep now but he still does that at least 3 times a night! And just the getting up and down out of bed causes me to wake up so tired in the morning. I'm anxious to read what others post b/c I have tried it all too! Good Luck to you and hang in there...it CAN'T be this way forever....can it??

Hi C.. My name is Y. Fischer. Lori Kornely and I have been involved for 4 yrs with a food-science company call Reliv. The patented formula powder mixed with water that you can take since you are nursing that will feed your baby the nutrition needed to calm his body. We have several mothers that used the Reliv products as a pre-natal vitamin supplement and have said they couldn't believe they didn't have the heart-burn, morning sickness. Delivery was so different than their other children. Reliv feeds the body 72 elements that is needed each day to function correctly. The body is the miracle. It knows what to do when it get what it needs. I am thinking of one particular mother from Englewood, Florida. Her baby cried for hrs. She was a wreck. All doctors did was give her acid-reflux medicine. She hated giving her medicine. A friend of ours told her about Reliv. She was nursing so she took the product and within days her baby was sleeping thru the night. Julianna was a happy baby. She has shouted about Reliv to other mothers. I can put you in touch with her and let you ask her any questions you want. My heart goes out to you. Take a look at the website and click on products. Lori's nbr is ###-###-#### for info.

I used Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child as well and it's a miracle book. Worked for both of my boys who would have, if left to their own devices, woken up and nursed every hour. Now my youngest is 16 months, still nursing, but sleeps from 6:30pm to 6:30am. Stay strong and know that helping your baby sleep through the night is best for him and everyone else in your house!

I have a 8 month old that does the same thing! I'm still nursing as well, so I really think that has something to do with it. I also have a little girl that is 2 1/2, so I know it makes for some long days when you're not getting a good night's sleep! I know what you mean - it is easier just to go in and nurse her so she'll go back to sleep and I CAN TOO! I don't know what to tell you, other than "this too shall pass". Let me know if you get any pointers that will actually help!

FYI - the teething tablets by Hyland's have caffine in them! I don't know what brand you have but check the ingredients if it says cocoa or cocoa bean, that's caffine (so said my dr.)

Hi C.,

Unfortunately, all babies are different and some just aren't "by the book". My first child was the one that sounds just like your second son, so I thought I was just doing something wrong because he rarely napped and did not sleep through the nite until he was two. But at that point, he became the perfect toddler - he was never out of control or rambuntious like some boys. So, I thought I was the perfect mother of a boy at that point. Then along came my second son who was "by the book" and a typical all boy two and three year old, into everything and constantly on the go. So, it does balance out in the end. On the practical side to get you to the next phase, have you considered putting his crib in your room by your bed? I realize some folks think that having kids in your room or bed is a bad thing, but my experience has been that if you meet their need for closeness early on, life is so much easier when they're older (once both my boys were in their own rooms at nite, they never have gotten up at nite). He might just miss being around you during the nite, since you have two kids, he likely doesn't get all the one on one mom time that your older son got during the day. Also, some babies/children just have a higher need than others to be close to their parents. I count my blessings that one of my sons is that way as it has continued into the preteen/teen years and I know everything that goes on with my boys because my son is so willing to share it.

hey C.. Wish I had some awesome advice for younut I really don't. My son is 11 months and wakes up at least once during the night still. It's totally annoying. Neither of my kiddos are great sleepers thought.

I know when my son gets up several times a night he usually has an ear infection. With all the winter bugs going around it might be worth looking into.

Hopefully, something works for you soon!

C., this is probably not the response that you are looking for, but neither of my sons slept very well and I understand the toll it can take on your family. I kept my youngest in bed with me in order to get more sleep and decided that if all he really wants at night is the closeness of mommy I would just roll with it. He nursed until fourteen months and still wakes up at least once at night, however I can usually maintain that semi asleep state and snuggle him back to sleep. It really helps me get the amount of sleep I need to nurture both boys through the day. With my oldest he rounded the sleep corner at two, which I know may seem like a long way off, but it will be there before you know it. So, my best advice is to try something new that works for your whole family, even if it isn't the normally recommended option. Good luck!

My daughter is exactly the same. She just wanted to be held. She definitely nursed for comfort. We called it the "magic boob". We have a bedtime routine, yet she still gets up all night. Then the next week she sleeps all night. I noticed patterns. Growing spurts was 1 thing. Teething was another. My husband one night had had enough and said I think she just loves the feel of our bed. Lets make hers softer. So he took 2 of our old flat pillows and put them under her sheet. We still hace sleeping issues, but she sleeps longer maybe waking twice instead of 4 or 5 times. She needed something soothing to her. She is now 18 months old and I have gotten her a silky blanket that she rubs on her cheeks until she goes to sleep. You just have to find a security item.

I'm not quite sure what other things you've tried, but here are some other suggestions: what are his naps like during the day (you may want to limit their length), what pj's is he using? (my 9 month old daughter hates to be hot, but my nephew needs warmth), do you bathe him at night? (my daughter loves baths but they wake her so she needs time to wind down after). I wish my 9-month old would go to sleep at 8 and we've tried, but she's a late sleeper and I see she does better when she goes to sleep between 9:30 and 10:00. Just a couple of suggestions! GOOD LUCK!

I think I agree with Gina about this...I think some children are good sleepers and some are not and no matter what you do, you can not turn one into the other! You can reinforce good habits and consisentcy, but you can not make a bad sleeper into a good one. My first child (boy) was a horrible sleeper...we tried everything and nothing helped. When we let him cry, he would scream for 90 minutes, fall asleep for 15 and then scream for another hour. He did not sleep through the night on a regular basis until he was at least 2, and even then it was only because he was sleeping with us. He's almost 4 now and sitll periodically wakes in the middle of the night and comes into our room. By contrast, I have a 3 month old girl who is a far better sleeper now than my son ever was. I am already regularly getting 5-6 hour stretches at night (which is considered sleeping through the night for a 3 month old) she wakes to nurse and then usually goes back down for another 4 hours. I don't think I've done anything different...in fact I am doing all the "wrong" things according to the books (not putting her down drowsy but awake, nursing to sleep)so, I have concluded that it's her, not me (or hubby). All that being said, if you are looking for a reason...if I remember correctly, around 9 months is when babies are supposed to start recognizing "object permanence"...they start to realize that just because they can not see something does not mean it does not exist. In other words, he's starting to figure out you still exist, even though you are not in the room with him. With object permanence can come separation anxiety, which may be why he only wants to be held at night. I tend to think that my first son was "given" to me to teach me (logical and a bit of a control freak) how to "roll with it". In the end, you may have to accept that how to deal is to learn how to "roll with it" and it may not be within your power to control his sleep.

Each child is so different. In my case, my first son started sleeping through the night at three weeks, but it took 11 months with the second one. In our situation, we had to move six times before son number 2 was a year old. He was naturally more high-strung than our first son, so everytime he'd start sleeping longer at night, we'd move again, and he'd feel insecure and wake up more frequently. By the time he was 11 months, I was so exhausted I had to let him cry it out. After two nights of crying, he slept through the night. You said you've already let him cry it out, but he has relapses. 9 months is two months younger than 11 months, which is a pretty big percentage of his life so far, so you may have to put up with it a little longer. You might take note of what was happening when he has a relapse--maybe after they've been left with a sitter so you and hubby can have a date, or something like that. If you can find a pattern such as that, maybe you could predetermine what time during the night you will nurse him, wake him up, feed him, and put him back down, and see if that helps him get back on the right track. I wish I could help more, but each child comes with a personalized set of challenges for us, and we have to pray our way through!

I have no answers for you, but wanted you to know that there are other babies like this. My son will turn 1 on Thursday, and he has yet to sleep through the night. He generally wakes twice and is up by 5:30 am. Food hasn't helped, tough love hasn't fixed it, etc. Good luck!

He may not be able to go all night with out eating. His stomach is the size of his fist. Many children do not sleep through the night until after they are 1, so he is not abnormal. Some babies just need more parenting at night.

My son, now 3, did not sleep through the night consistently until close to 2. My daughter, 21 months, is not sleeping through the night yet.

We co-sleep and that has made a world of difference. I feel much more rested because I barely have to wake up to nurse her.

LOL. My son still doesn't sleep through the night. He's 21 years old now, but long ago I ceased needing to wake up with him...They're all different aren't they? I still hear my son when he's home getting up in the middle of the night...well, it's more like he'll go to bed in the middle of the night and then hours later get up and then go back to bed again.
All I can say is it helped a lot to have my children sleep in the same room (a small bed next to mine, or in bed with me depending on the child, the age, etc.)when young...made it easier for all of us, and some of my most treasured memories are those middle of the night moments with them...none of the rush of the day...just calm and of course sleepiness on my part. This is not to say that there weren't some very trying moments in the middle of the night between my three and various stages of waking that they all went through (plus daytime tiredness).
I guess I just took nighttime wakings in stride as part of the total package and dealt with it as well as possible at the time, sometimes easily and sometimes less so....and again, they are all so different.

Hi there! I am no professional, but have you tried feeding a bit less at night--yes, less--I say give it a try. Your son could possibly be too full and have a belly ache or indigestion. When you go in to soothe him, maybe just try a bit of mylecon, then pat his belly while he stays in his crib. Stay a while and pat repetitively....as long as you can stand it, and he may calm down. Just try real hard to NOT feed him, especially nursing. He seems to really have too much control in this. I know how hard it is to not pick him up and help him to sleep, but your ultimate goal here is to have him put himself to sleep. You'll be so happy for that once he is preschool age and older! Another idea is to have some teethers and a safe toy in the bed with him, so that he can pick one up to distract him while he is awake. It helps my son (7 mos)a lot--he plays a bit and whines a bit then falls back asleep! Love it. My daughter, now 3, did this too. Toys when really little, and then books in bed once older. It still works to give her something to do and a way to self entertain. Good luck to you...and keep the big picture in your head. SELF soothing.

Contact your Pediatrician. They should be able to help you. And you need your rest just as bad as the baby. Good luck.

C., have you thought it could be colic. Sometimes babies do get colic at night and they do just want to be held because the warmness of your body makes them feel comfortable. Try rubbing a little olive oil and putting a warm towel on his belly when you put him to bed. This may help. If not it could be like he just misses you and I agree the closness when they are young get better when they are older.

HI C.--He might be one of those kids who need less nap time during the day. Try cutting down on nap time and maybe he will be tired at night and sleep better. Good Luck!

Hi C. -

I only have one child who was like your first, "by the book." My daughter is 14 mos and still wakes up sometimes, like last night she woke up at about 1 a.m. We just rock her back to sleep usually. I stopped breast feeding at 7 1/2 months. Have you considered that the last nursing isn't giving him enough substance to make it through the night? We started giving our daughter a 6 oz. bottle of formula with 2 scoops of oatmeal cereal (although I don't remember when) that seemed to get her through the night. Our routine was bath at 8, then last bottle w/cereal after that. She would usually knock right out and sleep until 6:30 or 7 a.m. Now, she doesn't get bottles at all any more, and we just rock her until she's almost asleep then put her in her bed. I think she wakes up sometimes because she might have had a bad dream or maybe her teeth are hurting her. Sometimes it's a battle to get her back to sleep but sometimes it's not. I recommend trying the bottle before bedtime. I don't think he physically needs to be fed in the middle of the night, but if you can get enough in him before he goes to sleep that might help.

Good luck, sorry I didn't have a better recommendation!

L. K.

2;17 p.m.

You are not doing anything wrong. Some babies just don't sleep as well as others. It's kind of like my husband, who when he lays down at midnight, still gets up by 4:30 to 5 a.m. and I keep wondering why he just can't get a full 8 hours. I called his mom and she said that even as a baby he never slept like the drs said he would.
My middle child (my husband is not her father, so no genetic ties here) did the same thing your baby is doing and she didn't sleep good through the night til, gosh maybe 2 years old, but then she did great. And, if it helps any, teenagers sleep great, hours and hours and hours, and you'll want the peace and quiet then, too, hahahahahaha!!

I am a mother of nine children, and also a foster mother for the state. I've been through what you are talking about many times. First off, let me assure you what you are talking about isn't unusual. Some children just have a harder time learning to sleep through the night than others. I also had a nursing baby around nine months who wanted to 'snack' all night long. What I finally had to do is just decide, this is it. I will no longer, no matter what, let him get up at night. When he would cry, I would watch the clock and wait 10 minutes. If he cried that long, I went in his room, hugged him, BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE DID I GET HIM OUT OF HIS BED!! I kissed him, told him he was alright, and FIRMLY laid him back down. Went back to my bed, waited 10 minutes again, did the same thing.
It took two solid weeks of no sleep, but he did learn to sleep through the night, and we never had trouble after that.

My only other suggestion is you might leave a bottle in his bed at night to snack on if he wakes up.

I have two babies, both breastfed. My oldest didn't sleep through the night until she was almost 2. My infant has always slept through the night.
I co-slept with both, nursing whenever they wanted to in the night. My 1-year-old still co-sleeps with us.
As mammals it's natural for a baby to want to be near its mother at night. Why would it want to be alone in the dark, far away from its protector?
If you want to baby to sleep through the night, you may just have to wait until he's ready to feel secure all alone. That could be a long way off.
If co-sleeping isn't for you (check the safety guidelines from Dr. William Sears) have you tried a sidecar sleeper?
Hang in there! I don't know any parents that get a thorough night's sleep. We give that up the day they come home with us.
*there are some studies that show "crying it out" does a baby harm... I'm disappointed to see the number of people that endorse that here

I feel for you, I have a very active 10 month old and she does not want to sleep through the night. Sorry, I can't give a lot of advice, but I do know how you feel. The best times for me was when she was 3 months old and we would put her in her swing and she would sleep for 11 hours a night :), I miss those days. Lately, it is very hard I know, letting her cry. She will go to sleep around 9pm and wake up at 12am, 2am, 6am. We have not been responding to the 12am nor the 2am and she cries for about 15 minutes and eventually goes to sleep. The advice I've been given is don't plan on sleeping until she is 2 yrs. old. I am actually going to buy a book that so many people praise and say their baby now sleeps through the night. It's called baby wise, all of my friends that read it said that their baby will sleep 8-10 hours a night. Hope this helped in some way.

Take care,

D. Jamison

I know it can be frustrating when your baby does not sleep through the night. My first daughter did that several times at around that age. Once, she decided it was time to play in the middle of the night and there was nothing stopping her. If I put her in the bed, she would just cry and scream. If we put her in the bed with us, she would just climb all over us. So....what I ended up doing was giving her ibuprophen and laying on the couch watching TV until she finished playing. Then, she would crawl in next to me and we would both go to sleep. If your child is fussy, it could be gas or a headache. I hope things get better. As many of my friends who have older children now say, "This too will pass." I know that doesn't make you feel any better, but I do hope that you get the rest that you need. Sometimes, when they are little like that, you have to nap during the day when they do. I remember it was harder with my second child, especially the first year. My second one is 2 now. I was there not too long ago. I hope he starts sleeping better. If he doesn't, I would start waking him up during the day more if possible when you are rested.

Some kids don't develop good sleeping patterns. I had one that did and one that didn't. The one that didn't has a pretty severe case of ADHD. Hang in there.
Cathy

Both my girls had similar problems although I just finally let them cry it out. But if they don't respond to that I just feed them to put them back to sleep because that was the only way I was going to sleep. Eventually they figured it out. Some kids just have a harder time figuring it out and sickness or traveling or changes sometimes affect there sleep pattern. If there is anything I've learned it is that my babies have never been consistent for too long. Once he starts walking maybe it will make him tired enough to sleep through the night.

I understand your frustration my first son was like that, he is now a Freshman in highschool and we are both survived! Steven Furman authored a book on sleeping through the night that helped me a lot. I can't remember the title and loaned it out long ago but if you Google his name something should come up. Sound to me like you are going to have to let him cry it out more than one time a night and ask for lots of support from you loving husband. During those tought nights mayber you could ask a friend or a Granny from yourchurch to spend the night and help you stay out of that precious babys' room! Good Luck

Hi C.,
May the Lord be a pillar of unending strength to you. May his loving arms uphold you, and may His right hand steady you as you walk through this beautiful season of your life.
It sounds like you are trying everything that you can and are desperately seeking a solution.
It sounds like he is having a growth spurt. If he was sleeping and now is up and hungry, he might just need more to eat. I was so exhausted with my first child (who never slept more than 3hrs until he was a year old) that the next two I decided to substitute formula for night time feedings. This allowed me and my husband husband to take turns bonding with our baby at night, while I slept. This worked miracles for me and my well being. I wish someone would have suggested it to me sooner!!
Once your supply is equal to the demand, he will still need to be retrained on how to sleep through the night.
Another possibilty is if he has learned a new skill such as rolling over, sitting up, crawling, ect. Mine always started waking just after these milestones and would take up to 4 weeks to get back on track.
Only one of my boys is a sleeper and he is still hard to wake now that he is 6. My other two could stay up all night and still hit the ground running come day break (they are 8 and 3).
I have three sons, and all were completely different!!! We have tried every book out there (the one that worked for one, didn't work for the others).
Please find rest in knowing that there is not ONE way to get a child to sleep. Try each and every idea that seems to fit with you, your home, and your family. We are all different and we all do what we can to make it through the day.
May God Bless You,
W.

It sounds like there could be something else going on. I would go to the pediatrician. Maybe he is in some kind of pain at night. My daughter did the sleep for 30 min then wake up screaming if I laid her with her neck turned a certain way. She had a condition with a short muscle on that side. So, dont ignore it. Have it checked out.

C.,
It sounds like you are worn out. Have you asked your pediatrician about this? I am just wondering if it could be some sort of sleep apnea. That is where they stop breathing for a short time. I am not saying that is it but for him to be sleeping soundly and then suddenly wake without being hungry or teething sounds strange. The other thing you could try is putting one of your pieces of clothing that smells like you in the crib with him or even put it on a bear or something big that he can wrap his arms around. Just a thought. I would however definitely talk to your pedi and let her or him know how frustrated you are. They could possibly run some tests. Hope it gets better. Good luck.
H.

I don't know what's going on in your house, but have you tried making it more quiet or more active. I had really good results with my grandson using a CD player that played quiet music all night, and at one point had to leave on a VHS player showing home movies

What is your daytime routine like? Do you nurse on demand or does he have more of a routine during the day? The reason I ask is that both of my children slept through the night at 8-10 weeks and I used the "Babywise" approach. Sometimes people confuse this approach with "scheduled" feedings and it really isn't what it is about. This method helps teach your child good eating and sleeping habits for both day and night. By the way, both my children are very different. I nursed on demand for the first 2 weeks and my son put himself on a every 3 hour schedule. My 9 month old daughter is not as structured but by following the feeding, playtime, naptime routine she has been sleeping through the night consistently since 10 weeks old except for the occasional teething episode. Good luck!

Hi C.,

sorry to hear you're having such a tough time. Is he getting any naps during the day? usually at this age they say they need 2 naps, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, if he's not napping or not sleeping for long during nap times he may be too overtired and stimulated to switch off and sleep during the night. He could also be going through another growth spurt, and be waking up due to hunger, try giving him a little more milk and solids earlier in the day aswell as what you are giving him in the evening. Hang in there! It will get better soon.

C.

Mine didnt sleep through the night for a long time. He could be hungry, taking a growth spurt. I used to give mine cereal right before bed and it helped her go longer at night. YOu could leave a bottle of water, you wouldnt want to leave anything else because it will rot their teeth that are forming.

C., there could be a number of reasons he is waking up. For one, not all babies will sleep through the night right away, neither of my children slept through the night till they were 2 years old. I breast fed and bottle fed them. I do agree that babies should be in the same room with the mother for a least the first year, he might feel more comforted. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but maybe you should take him off the breast and do formula only, your milk may not be enough for him. My daughter had to take her baby off the breast at 2 months and put Connor on the formula only, he is sleeping from 9 till 7 in the morning. At 9 months your baby should be teething, so yes he could be hurting and need something else for the discomfort. Also, he could be either to cold or to hot, check the temperature in his room. I don't agree with the hot herbs, he will only pee more and wake up with a wet diaper. Besides, he is too too young for herbs. It might also be that you need to change the schedule your on with him, he might do better eating at 6PM instead of 7PM, 7 is a little late for a baby to eat, my son feed his baby at 6 and Shawn went to bed at 7:30 and slept through the night. So each baby is different and you just have to find out what your baby likes best by doing it different till you figure it out. Good Luck. A concerned grandma.

Some kids just arent sleepers! If you cant beat them, join them! Mine is almost three and a half and does not sleep through the night. We tried every trick in the book, and in the end she wont sleep if she doesnt want too. She goes to sleep just fine, she just wont stay asleep. After a near nervous breakdown, here is what we do.

Does he have a nightlight? When Kara was little we would make sure she had plenty of books to "read" and just enough light to see the pictures. Also, this will sound crazy, but have you tried a different mattress? Kara is very picky, OCD picky, about her mattress being soft and blankets being just right, perfectly straight and tucked in under her arms. Have we given in to her, yes, but it means she now sleeps from 8-1 without getting up and I can get three hours of sleep at one time.

When she turned two, we put a tv in her bedroom and we leave it on all night. Noggin and Sprout both show kid shows 24 hours a day and it is a GODSEND! Now when she wakes up I can put her back to bed and let her watch tv until she drifts off again. And I am a pro at falling back to sleep at 1:30 and sleeping until 6.

My husband and I do understand the negatives, and we have talked with our dr and if it comes down to her contentment and my sanity, my sanity wins. I MUST have sleep to function and our dr understands this. During the day, Kara is a very active little girl, she does not take a nap and she goes to bed the same time as her wonderful 'always slept through the night' big sister at 8 pm.

Dear C.,
I am a Mother of 4 and a Grandmother of 12. I had this problem with 2 of my children. The problem was, my breast milk was not rich enough to satisfy my children after a few months. Back 40 years ago we put our babies on fresh cows milk, but now days the doctors say that is a no no. I rasied very healthy kids. I am suggesting, maybe you ask your doctor about whole milk for your son.
Honey, I hope I have been of some help, and you have a blessed day.

C.,
Not all babies will sleep through the night right away. There is no magic way to make this happen until they are ready. I thought ther was something wrong with my son when he wasn't sleeping through the night by a year old. The doctor assured me that by the time he was 4 years old, he'd be sleeping through the night. He wasn't that far off, because it took him until he was three years old! Some children are just more stimulated than others and don't calm down as well.

I had two children with the same issues and in the long run we found out that they had chronic ear infections. No symptoms other than sleeplessness and later on hearing loss. You might want to check it out. Maybe it's not the answer, but I know my third child slept much better and no ear problems. The other two were up and down all night for years! I think maybe the sucking soothes the pain and laying down makes it worse. Just my two cents.

I understand your frustration because I have been there and I want to share what worked for us. Yep, the good old "cry it out" method. I was like you and knew that my boys just wanted to be held and that they were ok in other ways (not hungry or dirty). My pediatrician promised me that if I gave it three days of not going into his room at night when he cried, by the third night he would sleep through the night. I had to turn off the baby monitor so I wouldn't hear him, which was tough, but the results were miraculous. Now he sleeps from 6:30 pm to 7am and EVERYONE is much happier, him included. I believe he was 9mo when we tried this and we've never looked back!

Okay, I was having the same problem. My first son was by the book, slept through the night starting at 6 weeks old. Second son, not so much. He, my second son, is 7 months old. He was doing kind of the same thing. Slept through the night a couple of months and then all of a sudden started waking up and would cry every time I layed him back down in his crib.

This is what I did. I picked a weekend and starting Friday, when he got up in the middle of the night I went in made sure he was okay and then left the room. He cried for almost an hour. Then he fell back asleep. He woke up two hours later and I did the same thing. I made sure he was okay then I left. This time he cried for 10 minutes. He slept for two hours and I repeated what I did the first two times. This time he only cried for a minute. The next time he woke up it was his normal time to get up.
The next night he only woke up once and he cried for about a minute then went back to sleep. The third night he did not wake up at all. I guess he realized I was not going to pick him up!
It was hard listening to him cry, but I asked my mom, my sister and even my pediatrician. They all gave me the same advice.
I hope this helps!

Have you tried the "good night, sleep tight" method? it worked for me with my oldest. he wasn't sleeping through the night at 13, 14, 15 months old! not nursing anymore, but wanted to sleep with us. she has a night time system for getting them to go to sleep, but we also used it for the middle of the night wakings (and he had 2-3 per night). It was slow, and arduous, but finally worked. When he'd wake up i'd go in there, hold/ rock him to sleep and always put him back in his own bed (hard for me because all i wanted was sleep). anyway, did that for a while, then went in, but didn't pick him up, just touched him or held his hand, then after a few days of that, didn't touch, but sat in a chair in his room until asleep, then at doorway, then eventually jus hollered from my room for him to go night night. it took a couple of weeks, but finally worked. he did fuss a bit at each change. hope it helps!

This sounds very familiar. My son is 9 years old now but went through the same thing. He got picked up everytime he wimpered. When it got to the point of him doing it during the night too I said enough is enough and talked to my pediatrician. He told us to do exactly what you are doing now - put cereal in his food and one last bottle before putting him down for the night. He would still wake up but not because he was hungry, he just wanted the company. So, we started giving him a water bottle then instead of formula and putting him immeidiately back to bed without all the play and cuddling. He would still fight it but after being persistant and consistant which I believe are key he got the idea that he wasn't going to get food and play but water and bed. I also tried to make sure he had naps at the same time each day to get him into the habit of a little nap and then cuddling and praise.

Good luck and don't give up - it will happen and you will eventually be allowed to sleep throuth the night. However, I guarantee the first few times he sleeps through the night you won't because you will be up and checking to see if he is okay.

Remember be consistant and persistant!

My son has the same pattern going. He is seven months old and I decided about two months ago to stop feeding him before 5 a.m. no matter how often he woke up. We've tried letting him cry it out and now only go in and change his diaper if he seems really wet in the middle of the night and is crying. Our pediatrician recommended the Dr. Ferber book, Solving your child's sleep problems and we are now trying to follow that around the clock and set a predictable pattern for naps and bedtime. Good luck to you!

Have you tired peppermint herbal tea. Just warm and dilute with water right before bed. It works!

Hi Chrystal,
I feel your pain! My daughter did not sleep through the night consistently for the first year and then some. It didn't matter what we tried, how much she ate (actually when she at more, she was up more! Go figure!), or what we gave her. At least once at night, she wanted company. There was just no consistent routine. I found a good chair that I was comfortable in and just nursed her again and fell asleep in the chair as often as not. Crying it out did not work for her until she was intellectually old enough to understand why I would not come in and pick her up. About age 2.

My son slept great until he was about 8 months old and then he started waking up and needing to be cuddled/nurse. I thought it was a nightmare! He had been doing so well and then not! He is over 2 now and he still wanders in at night sometimes to get in bed with us.

It is just plain hard. From talking to LOTS of people, children who sleep through the night seem to really be in the minority. Just know it will end eventually. We used to joke they will sleep through the night by the time they are in High School! But it happened much sooner...so don't give up hope...it will happen on his time schedule...unfortunately not yours. If possible, at nap time, take a nap with them...it helps. Also, on the weekends, if possible, let your husband get up so you can get a good stretch of sleep. I used to feel guilty about that, but I finally realized I needed solid sleep occassionally also. And, I found they both went to sleep faster and stayed asleep longer when mommy's breasts were just not available.

Good luck! A.

I am so sorry that you and you sweet little boy are going through this I think it might be a boy thing :). My son was the same way, but I would have to go in and give him a binky. He was also sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old. So I knew he was capable of doing it, but it was so much easier to go into his room several times a night to give him the binky so he would go back to sleep. He had alot of ear infections and once we put tubes in his ears at 10 months all these problems stopped. His ears always had a little fluid in them and I think it just hurt to lay down. I would get his ears checked just to rule that out. If he is fine then you probably just need to let him cry it out. It is very difficult to do, but I just did that with him last week when I finally took the binky away. He cried every couple of hours for about 20 minutes each time, but did finally go back to sleep. I would go to his room try to calm him, but never picked him up. Then the next day I did not go into his room at all. By the fourth day he was over the crying and sleeping through the night again. My doctor told me the key was not to ever get them out of bed. Also it only takes about 3 days to break a habit so if you can make it three days hopefuly he will start sleeping through the night.

I really recommend the book written by ferber. i had the same issues w/ my 1 st daughter at 1yrs of age. i did the ferber method and she completely changed! you HAVE to be consistent-the minute you go in and hold them and nurse, all the work you did puts you back at square one or encourages them to continue to scream so then you'll give up. it can take up to a week to change their habit. the other thing the book says is to give them routine naps during the day as well. good sleeping during the day=good sleeping at night. get that book!

So sorry --- that is so tough. My opinion, you gotta be tougher. All the advice about giving it at least 3 days, DONT pick him up, set a timer and let him cry longer each time. Its so hard. You can do it and you will all be better for it.

Take him to the doctor and have him checked out just so you feel better about a course of action.

My main advice would be this... move his bedtime WAY back. If you can get him to sleep his 4 hour stretch from 11-3am instead of 8pm - 12, you will feel more normal and he will start developing a nighttime sleeping pattern. I nursed, but I gave my girls a bottle of formula at 11:00pm and then put them to bed. You'll have to move his bedtime back a little at a time. I'd aim for an hour and see how it goes. I stood on my head doing whatever was necessary to keep my girls awake in the evening. My MIL thought I was crazy --- but our family needed them to sleep at night.

If necessary, keep a notebook at night --- write down his eating, sleeping, crying, times. Write down when you go in. Putting it in writing helps it make more sense --- helps you stick to your guns. Also I would recommend pumping and bottle feeding him in the evening/night. That way you can see just how much he is really eating. If he is just snacking, then you don't need to feed him.

Hang in there. Pray. God can make that baby sleep if that is what you all need.

When my youngest son started doing this I asked the dr about it, and he told me that it is natural for children to start waking again during the night around 9 months. I was a nurser, too. From 9-10 months it seemed like we reentered the newborn phase. It was rough, but we got through it.

Good luck to you, and remember the night wakings is normal seperation anxiety that many children experience at 9 months. God bless!

I wonder if he's developed a food allergy. What are you using to mix his cereal? Maybe try changing that and monitor what he's eating and see if there's a difference on the nights when he eats differently. His stomach could be hurting.
Ange

When he wakes up at night, don't turn on any lights, don't talk to him, don't sing to him, or rock him. If he is wet or dirty, change him. Do not nurse him. You may be teaching him to wake up to get the extra attention. At nine months, can he drink from a cup? If so, give him some water. If not, a small bottle of water. Point being, make getting up at night so boring and uneventful, he won't desire it. When he wakes up in the morning, joyfully greet him as you pick him up and play with him while you change him and when you nurse him. I always said to my children... "Good morning, did you wake up?" and smile and swoosh them from the crib with a hug. All SEVEN of my children slept through the night because we made night time quiet and uneventful. I have even taken several of my friends' and neices' babies for a few days to train them to sleep all night.... of course I also had to train their mamas...LOL

I totally understand your problem. I had the same problem with my daughter. Although I never really found a solution for it I will give you a little hope to say that it will end. It almost seemed like a phase. If you never find that solution and this keeps going on, the best thing to do is to keep calm. Don't get to frustrated. Remember that it will be over soon. Phases come and go and when you look back it will seem like no time at all.
Some people like the cry it out method, but I won't do that because the crying never ended. After she turned 1 she only woke up once a night around 4 in the morning and after that my permanent solution to her waking up at night came when I stopped nursing her around 18 months. But I'm not sure if the nursing had anything to do with it. People who bottle feed also have this problem.
Don't worry to much about it. It will work out.

M.

You baby will sleep through the night when he is ready and there is not much you can do to force it. In the meantime, cherish those nighttime feedings. So what if he isn't "hungry", he wants his mama. There is nothing wrong with giving your baby the comfort and peace of your presence. Pick him up, nurse him gently and let him sleep. If you get tired of going to him, move him closer to you. Before you blink, these days will be gone.

The best advice that I ever got was from my daughter's pediatrician. Establish a bedtime routine; for us it was bath, book, bottle (nurse) then bed. We did this every night. It was a sweet time for us to share together and setting a routine let's the baby know what is coming. I was rigid about this schedule no matter who was putting our daughter to bed and no matter where we were. But don't put the baby to bed when he/she is totally asleep. Put them in their bed when they are beginning to doze off. This will let them know that they can get themselves to sleep and when they wake in the night, if they truly don't need anything will learn to soothe themselves back to sleep. You may have to listen to some crying, but be strong and you will have a baby that will sleep well through the night. It is hard, but worth it, for both of you! If you just can't stand the crying, go in after 30 minutes and rub your baby's back, make sure they are okay and walk away. If you pick your baby up and rock him or nurse him back to sleep every time, he will never learn to soothe himself.
Good Luck! I hope this helps.

Oh Cyrstal I understand your pain. Our son is now 2 years and 4 months old. He had a hard time sleeping consitantly through the night too. Just hang in there. What we ended up observing is that our son is a light sleeper. We have the fan on and a ticking clock but he can still hear cars or other things when they pass by. I slept in the front of the house with him one night and discovered that every time he fussed or woke up was because he heard the people coming and going. There isn't anything magic that you can do. Don't force it. He will eventually get the hang of it.

Dear C.,

you mentioned that your little one wants to be held when he wakes up in the middle of the night. Have you tried swaddling him? Both of my boys, ages 2 years and 4 months like to be swaddled. My big boy still likes it when he is sick, but it always made him feel secure when he was swaddled. I am swaddling my 4 month old, too and he sleeps better that way. The boys are the opposite of their big sister who never liked being swaddled. However, what helped her was white noise in the back ground, such as a humidifier or ocean sounds etc...I literally place a small boom box under her bassinet and then right by the crib once she outgrew the bassinet.
Hope this helps,
I.