D.B.
A psychologist is a therapist, so do you mean a psychiatrist? Psychiatrists can prescribe meds. I can't say whether or not that would help. There are just so many individual factors to consider. They can be helpful, but psych meds for kids are very tricky.
Regardless of meds, it sounds like a new discipline approach is needed. What is he doing when all of those privileges are taken away from him? If he's sitting around doing nothing, then he's not learning anything. Does he have regular chores? What is expected of him at home? (Besides respectful behavior) He needs to know that he's an integral part of the family and his participation is needed to make a successful family. Instead of just taking away privileges, a tri-fold approach is needed. First, add on chores/responsibilities for each privilege taken away. Work offers opportunity for growth, boosts self-confidence (as long as it is appropriate and not too difficult or too easy, given the child's age and skills), and offers a physical outlet for all of those pent-up emotions. Make sure the extra chores are different from the regular chores, and really require effort. Sit down with him and develop a list of consequences together.
Second, what does he have to do to earn back his privileges? Set up a reward system where he has to demonstrate appropriate behavior (in direct relation to his misbehavior) to earn back the privilege. Do not simply take the privilege away for a set time. He will wait it out and not change his behavior. Make him earn his privileges back. Even if he says he doesn't care, he will start caring once everything is gone and he's doing chores all day! He must demonstrate appropriate behavior X number of times, or for X amount of time.
Third, catch your son being good and praise him! Verbal praise can do amazing things for kids. You may also want to consider a reward system. Give him fake money, or points, or stickers, or marbles, whatever. Then he can trade it for a special treat, such as an ice-cream date with mom or dad (or both!), or he gets to have his favorite dinner, or his choice of activity for a family night (bike ride, nature walk, swimming, board game, picnic at the park, etc). No toys or big expensive outings. Sit down with him and have him help you come up with a list of rewards and how much he thinks each one should cost. This way he is part of the solution and will feel like his input is valued.
Above all, continue to show him how much you love him. Even when he's being disrespectful and says he hates you. Tell him you love him and are very sad when he says/does things like that (and mean it!). Make sure to stay calm and respectful and demonstrate the behavior you want him to emulate. Best wishes!
