9 Year Old Son Doesn't like Outdoor/physical Activities

Hi, I know exactly what you mean my oldest (boy now 19) loves sports from football to basketball to track wasn't really into video games that much would rather be outside. but my daughter who is now 11 didn't want to have anything to do with outside activities we tried basketball, softball, ballet and didn't like any of them! always wanted to quit so I just keep pushing her to try new things and after so many things we finally found something she just loves!
cheer leading and gymnastics! I would suggest that you just keep trying stuff till he finds something that he falls in love with. he sounds very book smart maybe you should try something like music or marching band don't give up he'll find something he loves! :)

I know so many people going through the same thing with their kids at just about the same age. From what I have seen, ALL their kids choose "electronics" over being outside and that is where the problem gets started in the first place. They catch the electronics bug and nothing else seems as fun to them and believe me, I'd heard the very best whiners and complainers when it comes to not wanting to do this or that outside....they don't like it, they're bored, they're too tired or it's too hot. I've heard it ALL.
I only have one friend who made the plunge and took the electronics and video games away all together. No more arguing about being outside with the rest of the family. When the weather is bad, they play cards or board games so that everyone is engaged.

Kids need to be active. It's good for them whether they believe it or not. My one friend's son has become seriously overweight and all he wants to do is sit in front of a TV video game. She lets him because it's easier than listening to him gripe. He doesn't even want to leave the house to go camping or to car races or anything that most boys would like. He just wants to sit. What he WANTS and what is best are two different things.

I would remove all electronics. Not as a punishment, but as something to be earned.
For every hour he rides a bike with you or does something else like shoot baskets, he earns 15 minutes. He adds up his time during the week and gets to cash in on the weekend (or whatever day you choose). 5 hours during the week earns 1 hour and 15 minutes, and so on. He can take it or leave it. He's still going to do the activity, and if he doesn't think the time share is fair, fine....zero electronics then. I think you'll find that in the end he will have more fun getting out and doing things and the electronics will fade out a bit. Either that....or he'll be dragging YOU out for activities to earn his electronic time.

Don't just let him sit in the house all day. Even the most cerebral of individuals need to get out and get fresh air and exercise. It makes for healthy children, to be sure.

Best wishes.

Sounds like he likes to use his brain, solve puzzles and figure things out. Nothing wrong with it, he could be the next one to design a new type of computer :)

Might I suggest Geocaching? It's an outdoor activity where you use your GPS and observation skills to find where people have the little box of trinkets. You log it on a website and go off the the next one....the "physical" part of this is riding your bike, hiking, climbing, etc to get to them as most of them are put in accessible, but more remote spots.

Google "Geocaching" and you'll get some helpful websites to get started. GL!!

Not all children like sports.. Its okay.

Try seeing... if in your city... there is a "Lego Club."
In my State, there is. It is REAL fun... and he will meet many other kids that way, too.

I would, nurture his own interests... he seems to know what he likes and who he is. That is GOOD.

A child... does NOT 'have to' play sports... in order to be a child.

And.... as a child ages... their interests changes too. Then as an Adult... interests changes as well. It is not static.

He must feel pressured....

He gets 'bored' with the outdoor activities he is made to do... BECAUSE he is not interested in it. He is just doing it to please his parents.
That is not the right incentive... because it does not come from 'his' interests or talents... but is peripheral.

all the best,
Susan

My kids have to do something. Anything. I'm even going to go so far as to say even if they don't like it, they have to do something that gets them moving physically on a regular basis. So, my opinion would be to keep looking for 'that' activity. There are so many possibilities. If you have to get the electronics out of the house, then get them out so that option is not there. Have you tried swimming classes? Tai Kwan Do? Dance? Keep searching. Make him choose something, please keep him moving though. Our bodies are designed to move, not sit. One of our best friends is confined to a wheelchair, and he is still active and does soccer and basketball.

Hi K.---All humans were designed to be active. It is essential for optimal health. Keep trying and encouraging him to do some sort of outdoor activity. It's likely you'll have to join him to get him out. Eventually, he will find something he likes.

I would limit the tv/computer/elect games. Playing those will be dependent on him being outside and active. Just like limiting TV viewing time, he has to get some exercise first, before he plays his games. It will take some time, but the effort will be worth it. Sometimes being a good dad means that you will be perceived as the bad guys with your son. But it is our job to raise well adjusted people that know their boundries and learning priorities, with eating the right foods, getting enough sleep, hanging out with the right friends, doing homework before games or tv, getting proper exercise. We are parents and guides first, friends later.

Just take him out for a 30 minute walk every day so the two of you can talk. Maybe then start doing some bike rides. His, and your long-term health depend on it. Good luck. D.

Geocaching or treasure hunts were the first thing that came to my mind.

I've never done scouts, but WHAT ABOUT the boy scouts...earning awards and badges, challenges. Seems more cerebral while totally encouraging an active lifestyle...
Sounds like you have a healthy lifestyle and just want him to find his 'thing'.
Good for you. I sort of share your frustration with my daughter to a lesser degree (she is 7 and does get out, just doesn't like anything organized or too challenging).
Here's to finding that endorphin, fresh air fix for those kids.
Don't let him know if you are mentally comparing him to yourself or others. Just keep yourself active and hopefully he will emulate your lifestyle. Stay positive, don't nag (maybe do the 'try it 3 times' rule, with a reward at the end?), keep offering opportunities, and praise his strengths.

On the try it 3 times rule - I know some classes cost money. Talk to the teachers and let them know the situation and you are just hoping to find the 'thing' for him and you are going to try 3 classes and could they waive any penalties or take a per class payment if he does quit....then you don't feel angry if he quits and you are just 'throwing money away'. Good luck!!!

Well its not completely up to him. I make my kids play outside until I tell them to come in. Somedays they try to sneak inside. The oldest is near 11 yrs old. Could you take a bike ride with your son..maybe the appeal would be biking together. How about fencing? My oldest child who is a bit picker with sports LOVES fencing how about tennis?
Go hiking as a family. He might not be as good as sports as the other kids. I was not great at most sports as I child but came into my own as an adult.
I let my kids play the Wii but its limited time. I think its always better being outside then inside. Also is it possible there are no kids to play with were you live..so many people have their kids over scheduled. Maybe sign him up for a local art class. Good luck. Host a outdoor game night invite neighbors and friends. That will get him some exercise.

What if you make it a family affair? "We're going to the park for a picnic today" Get him outside, but no pressure to perform. Just getting outside will maybe 'wean' him on to being more active.

See what you can do about getting his interests OUTSIDE. Get a neighborhood Leggo building competition going. Get the boys on your front lawn building one big project together or seeing who can build the best house design. Your other kids can have a lemonade stand and neighbors can vote on the best design.

Or when you guys are outside, have him read his book about how to build a tree-house and build something together.

And with reading - have him read books perhaps with a baseball theme or some other outdoor activity theme in it. Wish I knew some to suggest though.

Don't worry.Everyone is different and that makes people interesting.

It might sound silly but when my youngest didn't like to go outside, I would tell her she needed to get some sunshine for atleast 15 minutes each day for her body to get VitD so she get grow tall like grandpa. We started off by playing catch. We did that everyday for about a week until I suggested tossing a frisbee. Next, we kicked a soccer ball to each and into a net. Within a month, she "lost track of time" and didn't try ot go in (unless it was over 90 degrees) after 15 minutes. The 15 minutes turned into a half hour and then 45min-60minutes. We would do badmitton, volleyball, basketball and when we got a pool, swimming. Now when she's outside riding her bike, scooter, or roller skating and I call her in to eat or take a shower, she complaints and askes to stay out and play. In another situation, I used to babysit a little boy who didn't like to go outside to pay. He only wanted to have me read to him, eat snacks, or watch tv (family had no electronics--so not an issue). I would make "deals" with him that if he went on a walk with me or if we go to the playground for a half hour, then that's and extra cartoon for him or an extra book I would read. For the first 2 days, he didn't go for it. I heard an ice cream truck in the neighborhood and said, "Let's go on a hunt to find the ice cream truck. If we find it you can get an ice cream cone, but then we have to go for a walk or play outside." It worked! I even took his legos, playdough, finger paints and books outside at the patio table and told him, "Mom & Dad will be glad that the house won't be messy." He even started napping outside on a hammock LOL!!! Good Luck---try everything--don't let him see any frustration--let him see you have fun and tell him it's your favorite or happiest time of the day with him and you are creating memories. Have someone take pictures on occasion and make a scrapbook with him.

It would be nice to see him get interested in some kind of physical activity but you can't force him. My dad thought it was important that I go jogging with him every single day when I was around 12, even though I was skinny, ate healthy, and was still very active (just doing normal kid stuff like swimming and riding my bike was not good enough for him). He thought it was important that I have more endurance. Whatever. I am now 38 and I still don't jog.

Have you ever tried asking him what he likes to do or what he thinks is fun? It can be as simple as throwing a frisbee or going for a bike ride. Go for a hike in the woods. Take him camping where he can't fall back on electronics. Some kids, even boys his age, could get into yoga. On the other hand, he might just be happier doing the things he is doing now and you might need to realize that just because you enjoyed certain things as a kid, does not mean that you can expect him to as well. Other than limiting his screen time (video games, computers, etc.) you might want to just let him be. Or start playing Legos with him and let that be a way for him to know that you love and accept him just the way he is.

As he gets older, he might discover on his own something he can get into, when he left to his own devices. I was never that athletic as a kid and I was really resentful of my dad and his forced jogging regime. And then when I was in college I discovered rowing and signed up with the rowing team for 2 years. I loved it! I was able to do it for a short time after college as well and would like to get back into it when I have the opportunity.

Your nine year old sounds just like mine. I got him boogie boarding all summer and even surfing a little. Then I found out about a swim team at the YMCA that does not compete. It is so awesome and they practice an hour a day up to four days a week and Thursdays it like game day. Well to keep in shape for next years boogie boarding and surfing plus all the water parks he's decided swim team is for him. Next summer I may move him up into a little diving class too. It is totally cheap, only $59 a month and I believe swimming really helps with focus something that electronic games inhibit.
Good luck,
S.

What about swimming lessons? Then he learns a lifeskill that will save him someday. And he might want to be on the swim team.
THe rules in our house are
No tv during the week, unless it's Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune
No electronics unless in the car for more than a two hour ride
My son is also 9 and wants to take swim and tennis, right now I can't afford the Y membership so we are waiting. He is taking art lessons for homeschoolers and is involved in Cubscouts.
Do you have a dog? Have him walk her.

I agree with other posters that he should do something, but it doesn't have to be sports and it doesn't have to be outside. What about karate? An art class? Swim lessons? (In our house, swim lessons are non-negotiable, but the kids don't have to participate in anything else they don't want to). I think finding an interest and running with it (no pun intended) is a very good thing for kids. But your son probably just has very different interests than you did as a child, and that's totally fine too. Different strokes for different folks. Good luck.

Seems like he is still young enough that you have a little control over it now. Later it will be harder. Reading and legos seem okay but the computer/electronic games will suck him in for hours and hours without end. You don't mention television, but probably some of his time is spent there too?

Maybe you could build some things together that would lure him outdoors -- a tree house, a go-kart, a skate board and ramp.

http://familyfun.go.com/crafts/build-the-ultimate-tree-ho...

http://familyfun.go.com/crafts/build-a-go-cart-709075/

http://www.a1skateboards.com/complete.asp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG0gO8pohfM

Once you build these things... invite some friends over. He needs sunshine, but he also needs companionship.

Best of luck to you and your bright boy!