My daughter is almost 10, and has some issues. I posted a question before regarding her organizing. It was brought up again during conferences. She has everything completely organized in her desk-which is great-but spends more time organizing than she actually does her work. She has to have two writing notebooks, one for drafts and one that is for final copies. These notebooks are color coded with post-its. Her books are stacked from tallest to smallest, and so on... It seems like things are getting worse. She has such a phobia of needles and sharp things, and actually fainted a few weeks ago when getting blood drawn. And the clothes... She never liked to wear jeans, absolutely refuses. I bought her all leggings and sweats, no problem. But now, the leggins are too tight or too loose, and it's expanding to shirts. This one is too loose, this one is too tight, this one is scratchy. Before the comments start flowing, PLEASE understand, this isn't her just being a brat. She actually goes into almost like a panic attack. She'll cry and plead with me-"Please mommy, I can't wear this, it hurts me" or she can't breathe. Now that there's snow on the ground, it's the snow pants. She cried the whole way to school, telling me she can't breathe and she can't wear them. She's been telling me that she doesn't feel like herself, she always feels like she's forgetting something, even though she knows she's not. So, that said...
She's been working with a counselor for about 9 months, developing coping skills, but we haven't seen any improvement. I had her evaluated by a psychologist who prescribed the kid version of Zoloft for anxiety. I was completely against this, and told her so. She tried to reassure me that it was a TINY dose, and that this will help her when she starts working with an occupational therapist, but for right now, we had to get her anxiety under control. So I don't know what to do. I haven't filled the prescription. I'm scared to death about giving my daughter this drug-I've read the side effects and they are AWFUL, but at the same time, we've been working with a counselor for nine months, as well as with the counselor at school, and my pediatrician and she's feeling worse and worse. I don't know what to do.
I don't need any comments about what I'm doing wrong as a parent, or it's her just acting out. This isn't a chosen behavior pattern for her, this is very real, so please keep the comments non-judging. :)
I understand, it is real. You don't mention if the psychologist made a diagnosis, though. What do they think she has? Change doctor if you are not satisfied, the sooner they find out, the better, and it takes some time for mental health issues. Good luck!
Hi D., it broke my heart to read about the trouble your daughter is having. I have a 9 yr old boy, and I don't have experience with your particular situation as far as my son goes, but I have anxiety myself. I don't know what I would do, but I think I'd seek another opinion about the Zoloft, just to be sure. If the second psychiatrist also recommends it, I would give it a try. My anxiety ranges from mild to pretty extreme depending on the situation, and it's something that a lot of people can't control without medication. My husband has some organizing and anxiety issues as well, and his started when he was a child. Maybe you could ask your daughter if she has any ideas about clothes that she might like better-- something tight for an under shirt (like Under Armour maybe?) might make her feel secure, and then the clothes on top might not bother her as much. Has the therapist considered some type of sensory disorder, or does she just think the clothing problems have to do with your daughter's anxiety? Just throwing some ideas out there; I'm sorry I don't have any great advice to offer. My best wishes are with you as you figure out a way to help your daughter cope with this.
J.
As parents I don't think any of us want to give our children any type of meds. If so, last resort. I suggest that you look for a new counselor. After 9 months there should be an understanding of what is going on and a plan to help her. I don't know your psych. qualifications you might want to also changeher also. I am concerned about your daughter taking Zoloft (kid version), because there is a high rate of suicide. Your daughter probably is hitting puburity and her hormones and body chemcials are changing, which is going to make it more difficult to get meds at the right dose for her. Meds can be very helpful, don't get me wrong, it just getting the right one that is hard. When calling for new drs ask for a Dr. who has OCD experience in children.
I wish you all the best for you and your little girl. Feel free to email me.
Take care
J.
I can honestly say that this sounds like OCD behaviors. My ex has them and I know he still has them. Refused to take any meds. He's a difficult adult to deal with... Hence an ex. That was just a small portion of why we're no longer together, but it still played a part.
Our daughter (ex is dad) is having an eval done next week for ADHD with anxiety. My daughter isn't overly organized like yours but we will be trying anything we can before any meds are allowed. So I understand why you'd want to do that too. However, if it gets to a point that it's uncontrollable from a parent or teacher stepping in, she may need something for her anxiety. You may be surprised by it.
Good luck!
It sounds like obsessive-compulsive disorder to me. Did they pyschologist say anything about that? I would google it if I were you to see if the symptoms match up. She can get therapy for this.
I've always battled anxiety. As a child I can remember being anxious, nervous, throwing up from anxiety and nervousness over the smallest things, like getting ready for school or being afraid that I was going to forget my lunch in high school (because it happened once- in first grade!!). This was in the '80's, and there wasn't knowledge of childhood anxiety and depression as there is today. I didn't have the option of taking medication.
Looking at it as an adult and parent now, I would have definately taken meds. If my daughters have the kind of anxiety that I did I will do anything in my power to make them feel better, including medication if that's the path that we need to take.
You've done counseling, and if it isn't working you need to try things that will work. Don't worry about what others will think/say. This is about what's best for your daughter and allowing her to have the most normal life (and childhood) that she can. As an adult that has had the experiences that your daughter is having, I would try the medication. 100%.
