The part that concerns me is her not feeling she could be adult enough to make these arrangements without her son.
I have kids. I love them. In their lives they've been to funerals, but not viewings or making arrangements.
Death is a part of life.
Having lost many, many people at an early age, it is something that kids understand. Having worked in the cemetery business myself, I realize that all families deal with things differently. Some become angry in their grief. Some are too shaken up to cope. Some are actually very composed and glad that their loved one lived a full life or aren't suffering anymore.
I know that when I've lost people, including my dads ( my bio dad and step dad within a year of each other) it really made me appreciate my children and life more. I did cry. I did get emotional. I wrote my father's eulogy. You have to know the tears flowed as I searched for the right words to say. My kids were great about giving me hugs or just letting me have some alone time to work my feelings out.
Like I said, people handle things differently. It was very kind of you to offer to help watch the boy.
I never took my kids to help make arrangements, but working at a cemetery, my kids were around certain things. In fact, my daughter stood on stage led The Pledge of Allegiance at a Memorial Day ceremony at the cemetery attended by a huge crowd of people including representatives from all branches of the Armed Forces. There was even a fly-over. She was 9.
I just read your update.
Not sure what to say.
If it's true he's missing school to visit deceased people he never even knew, that's a bit much. For sure.
My family is from the southern United States. In Tennesse and Virginia, it's not at all unusual for kids to attend visitations. One summer when we were staying with my grandmother, visiting deceased people was just almost the same as attending church. We were dressed in our nicest clothes, she even bought or made us dresses and we went. We sat like little ladies while she paid her respects. She didn't cry or fall apart or anything though. We didn't know the people but SHE did. We understood that passing away was a solemn thing.
We weren't traumatized by it at all.
My grandmother didn't have a death obsession, it just so happened that she lost a lot of people she loved that summer and we happened to be there with her.
She did a lot of cooking and we went to a lot of houses sharing food. We sat like little ladies while she spoke with the family and offered her help.
I don't know that you should call social services as suggested because of the funeral home thing. CPS isn't going to take her kid away because he was present for making funeral arrangements. If he's missing school to the point he's truant, the school should be addressing that.
If you have documentation of what you consider to be an unhealthy attachment with her son, aside from and added to this issue, then do what you have to do.
That's just my opinion.
Everyone has differing views on death, etc.
If you don't want to personally say anything to her because she's grieving, you might want to consider how the authorities checking in on her will go over.
Again, just my opinion.