A 2 Year Old and a Fish

I dont know about this fish but most fish live many years if you clems its tank and feed it he will be old enough to understand when it dies enjoy it and stop worring A. no hills

Beta get big and mean and can jump very high! yes out of the tank. 2 year old who cnnot take care of an animal??? Whose thinking here?

We bought our 2 year old fish that we thought were goldfish, but turned out to be mislabled/mistanked koi, as his "practice grief". Oddly enough, the fish lived for 5 years before we gave them away, and in that time he lost 2 great grandparents he saw all the time, a best friend from preschool (brain tumor), several of my close friends, one of my husband's (death by association is still hard, since mummy & daddy are grieving), and our beloved cat. So much for best laid plans.

He was great with the fish. Koi, like goldfish, are REALLY dirty, and they grow like crazy, so we had to clean the tank twice a week (and then get a bigger tank, and then move them outside). He fed them (had to teach about overfeeding), helped clean their tank, helped add their medicines, and helped test the pH of the water.

Betas are low maintenance, so you'll have next to no workload (and expenditure) on them. Don't be afraid to let him "help"... and nows a GREAT time to teach the "we can't breathe water, and they can't breathe air, and EVERYONE likes different things" (aka, fish don't like hugs). Nemo became a great favorite at this age as well... and kept him from the inevitable tapping of the glass... since he didn't want to be like Darla.

Just FYI, betas are much easier than goldfish in that, in my experience,they can last many years longer (even mine that got dumped over by the cat and was without water for hours!) and their aquariums stay cleaner than poopy goldfish...not sure how, but they do. Plus, they are lovely. We bought a feeder that you can slide and it gives just the right amount of pellets to avoid overfeeding.

We had two adult cats when my daughter was born and by the time she was a toddler, they were seniors with medical issues. We taught her that they were older and to be gentle and take care of them carefully (which she did). When one became so sick we had to put her to sleep, we took her with us and explained the process. Then, as our family tradition, we went out for ice cream and "toasted" all the good memories (some with laughs and some with tears). We put their name tags on a key chain to remind us. I think if you use the experience as a teaching moment it can be priceless in the long-run. I don't recommend lying about any of the process.

Meanwhile, my daughter is so into pets and their care and safety, that she works with cat rescue and adoption (she's 14). She volunteers 3 hours every Saturday so her respect for pets and their needs has continued since her young childhood.

As she gets older, if you aren't creeped out, rats make fabulous easy to manage and care for pets. They are very sweet, easy to train and smart.
Good luck. Pets are great!

My three year old and I take care of our salt water aquarium together. It is a wonderful bonding experience, and teaches her about ecosystems, chemistry, life, and death - the basics, of course. I got her a "Dori" fish (the blue tang from Finding Nemo). It ended up getting sick and dying, which I thought would devestate her. I simply told her that Dori died, and we had to flush her down the toilet. She was confused at first, thinking Dori would come back, but soon realized this was permanent.

I think a fish is a wonderful way to teach a little responsibility at a young age, and sometimes unfortunately, to introduce death.

I ended up getting another "Dori fish" for my daughter, which she loves just as much. She tells everyone that her first Dori fish died, and we had to flush her, which she said was sad...

Kids are pretty resilient - death is a tough thing to explain, but sometimes just the simple explanation will do the trick. Good luck with your fish!

We've had a Beta for about three years now. Very low maintenance. Only feed it a few of those little round pieces of food. See how much it actually eats and adjust your feedings. I remove whatever little "pellet" like food is left floating on the top after about five minutes so as to help keep its tank clean. I would worry more with a goldfish and death than with this beta. Just don't get another one of the same sex in the tank. They will fight.

Hello, First of all, those fish don't die easily. I have seen my daughter with one for several years. If it should die, I would just tell her that God needed another beautiful fish in Heaven.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
K. K.

HI J.,
I have 2 1/2 year old little girl and we bought 2 small guppies for her. She loves them, and feed them every day. I put the flakes of food in her hand and then she dumps it in the tank. She will watch them eat and talk to them.
I do have a suggestion though, if you ever have to replace the Beta fish, I would stay away from the goldfish. According to the "fish guy" at the store, he said that goldfish are filthy and told us to get something else. My sister has 2 goldfish for her son and the tank is ALWAYS needing to be changed (even with a filter, she even got a snail to help keep it cleaner). I have had the fish for almost a month and I have only changed the water 3 times. If I had a filter system, I would probably only need to change the water every so often. Anyway, the guppies are a great idea. They come in different colors too.
I think it is a great idea to give a child a pet early on. Even if it is a little more work around the house, it's all worth it........to me
Have fun with it! Happy Holiday's

Bettas last FOREVER!!! lol My son has a betta fish when he was born and had it till he was about 3 years old. When it died, I told him that he was very onld and died. He was a little hurt, but when we went to the store, he didn't seem to mind that anymore because we got another one. He is now 5 and has a 1 gallon tank with a little castle in it for his Betta to sleep in (its really true, at night, it goes inside and rests or something. lol). I have a 5 gallon tank and had a few fancy goldfish in it and one died because the other one was picking at it. My son told me that my fish died and that we have to flush it and go to the store and get another one. I didn't think he rememebered,but he did. I am pretty glad that I told him the truth the first time because he might be made fun of at school....if you know what I mean. Good luck!!

We got fish starting when our oldest daughter was 18mo (she's 5 1/2 now) and they have been a pretty good thing for our family. We have a mixture of different fish (tetras, guppies, etc.) and we have had quite a few die... It gave us a chance to teach them. We also have several other pets that will leave us one day, and they know that. All we can do is love them while they are with us. I think for us it made it easier that we had more than one- they hardly notice when one dies (but you can't do that with betas). They get a little bummed, but it's not like losing something that you've held and snuggled- we lost one of our baby bunnies this summer and there were MANY tears! But the reality is that death is part of life, and we wouldn't be sad if we hadn't loved them

My sister bought my son a beta for his 2nd birthday, because he loved my niece's beta. I was not that thrilled, but he absolutely LOVES "Bubbles". (He picked the same name as my niece's fish) We've made it a routine to feed him each night, when we put on jammies. He tries to help me clean the tank, but understands that it's a delicate process. Bubbles has died once, and we had to replace him. My son went to the store with me and selected his new fish, which again, he named Bubbles! :) I was going to try to replace him on the sly, without my son noticing, but he was too attentive, because he checks on him every morning. So, I just explained that Bubbles had gotten real sick and we can't take fish to the Dr to help them get better. I then asked him if he wanted to pick out a new fish and he said yes. He was a little sad at first, but quickly got over it with the new fish. BTW - we will have had Bubbles for a year in March now...
Hope that helps!

goldfish are food for other fish. thie die sooner than betas.

My mom purchased a beta for my son for his second birhtday. He loves it. He reminds me to feed Walter and clean his bowl. i think it s agreat "first pet" and love that is takes minimal care on my part. I clean his tank once a week which is super easy (put the fish into a cup with water, pour the rocks & dirty water thru a strainer - I bought one just for this at the $1 store - and refill the bowl with filtered water and you're done! We have had Walter now for 4 months and he is doign great. Betas are very sturdy fish and are more likely to live longer than a gold fish - plus i think they are so much prettier. When my friend lost her daughters beta down the sink while cleaning the bowl she just bought a new one to avoid the "everything and everyone eventually dies" speech. Enjoy the pretty fish and the fact that your daughter isn't asking for a puppy! :)

My twin girls got their first fish in preschool. When it goldfish died we flushed him down the potty. When great-grandpa died of course the girls asked if we were going to flush papa down the potty... Fish are great pets for toddlers, and I actually think it's a good way for them to start learning about life and death. I think the death of the fish helped them to be a little more prepared to understand their great-grandfather's death. Our friend had a beta who lived for more than a year, so maybe you won't have to have that conversation right away.
Enjoy your new fishy friend!

I just got fish as well. We got guppies for the reason that they have babies (this is teaching lesson of "where do babies come from in our house), they will breed to fill a space you don't know when one dies and that can litterly be abused in ways other fish can not (we grew up with guppies in our house and they survived soda pop in the water, a whole brand new container of food dumped into the tank, and a bunch of other things that less hardy fish would die of). They are also easy to get for free. I got mine from freecycle and was offered many more than my 1 gallon tank could hold. the good thing about getting from a breeder is that they are more likely to be healthy and you can get water from them (that way you get a starter with all the good bacteria that helps them live). We have my 4 year old feed them in the morning and at night, though when out 18 month old gets older we will let him take over 1 feeding..

Hi J.,
Betas are low maintenance. Both my kids had their own.
Its easy. They don't need a filter etc. Just put them in a bowl with a plant, and clean it like once a week.

they last awhile, unless you don't take care of it.

Some people even have them on their desk at work.

When it dies, or if... well we just told our kids it "died." and its okay... then we took it out to the yard and buried it.
My kids didn't get too upset... just a little sad, but they know things do "die" sometimes. We've talked about it before in a very simple way.

Take photos of the fish for now... and with your daughter. It will be a nice memory of her 1st "pet."

To me, a goldfish is harder to care for... they NEED a pump for air bubbles, and filter and plants in the tank... they make a lot of poop and the tank gets dirty quicker. And they eat like there is no tomorrow. And, they can grow quite big.

Betas, are easier.

And yes, you/Daddy will have to take care of the fish. A 2 year old can't. Only maybe feeding it and helping her though. But you will have to clean the tank etc.

All the best,
Susan

I used to be a preschool teacher and went through my share of dead classroom pets. We talked about lifetimes... that all things have a beginning, a middle, and an end. We read the book "Lifetimes" by Bryan Mellonie. We also had the kids participate in a funeral... picked a nice spot by the back door of our classroom.

BTW... make sure you get the hardy, long-living goldfish. The feeders (cheap ones) don't live long at all. Betta fish will live about 3 years (pending health and dietary conditions). A hearty gold fish can live 15 years if taken care of properly. Talk to the salesperson at a reputable pet store about which is the best and has the longes lifespan.

Pets are a great way to start to teach a child about responsibility and caring. It's good to teach her about opening the lid, but you might want to also put the tank where she doesn't have easy access. When I was 2 I didn't understand that I couldn't take the goldfish out and pet it like my cat. The poor goldfish didn't survive my "loving". A book I got for my kids about dealing with the death of a pet is a book called "The Tenth Good Thing About Barney" (if it's still in print, my "baby" is 21). I'm sure there are other good books out there too; maybe ask your librarian. Enjoy the beta.

We have four (grown children) but when they were young we had beta fish. They are so low-maintanence and easy to have around and pretty! Our's lasted about 2 years each, first one was named "Red", then the next one the kids named "blue". Really, we tried goldfish and they are HIGH maintenance and you have to clean their bowl very often and they always died very quickly. Another thing we loved about betas is that when we went away for a few days or a week, I called the pet store where we got them, and they said they can go 10 days to two weeks without being fed. I could hardly believe that but they insisted it was true! And it did happen once or twice and I was so sure Red or Blue would be gone when we got home...but no, they were happily swimming around, looking very pretty. Good luck!

First of all, if you did end deciding to switch fish, be forewarned that goldfish are a LOT of work. They are very dirty and the tank is very high maintenance. (I did not know this when I bought our first goldfish, thinking I'd start off with something simple-not so!).
As far as dealing with death, I have always tried to be as honest as I can with my son. I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are, but it is a great opportunity to call on that when this comes up. Please be careful about making stuff up about God and God "taking" them. Many well meaning parents do this, but this can lead to children making up irrational beliefs about God, or about themselves (ie: that God takes good people, or if God takes good people, then why didn't he take me - and if he didn't take me, then I must not be good, or if I'm good, then God might take me too). I've heard adults dealing with these things in counseling.

For my family, we have a belief that the Spirit lives on, so my son and I talked about the fishes' lives in this physical form beind done. We had a little burial and thanked them and thanked God for the time that we had together and all the joy that we shared. That's what worked for us.
Honestly though, I've known people who've had Betas for a long time.