I never started out thinking I'd be a co-sleeping kind of parent, not that I had any idea what kind of parent I would be. Our parenting style kind of evolved over time to suit our son's needs. Long story short, our son (2.5) has spent a majority of his time in our bed or in a co-sleeper. It was only recently we began transitioning him to his own room and his own bed and he loves it but he wasn't quite ready before that. He still wakes at night and comes into our room.
My husband and I are fine with this. We have a large bed, we are a close family and enjoy the closeness of co-sleeping.
Baby number 2 is on his way and I am starting to think about his room. I was beginning in the obvious place, by looking for a crib. The thing is...we never used a crib for my son. So, that seems like a waste of money. We are going to purchase a new co-sleeper for our room, and my guess is that he will stay there for awhile.
The alternative would be to purchase a crib and a twin bed for the nursery. That way, I can go into the nursery with the baby at night when he wakes and we can try a crib thing. I'm doubtful this will work, though as I prefer to be in bed with my husband, and my husband would prefer to be in bed with us in case we need a hand with something, and I would like to still be able to be near my older son when/if he comes in our room.
We do have a fourth bedroom where, on the rare occasion, my husband needs to retreat on when he really needs to sleep alone leaving me with the big bed.
So, I'm thinking of forgoing a crib altogether but that just seems odd to me. Even as I type this I think it sounds silly as if I am over thinking it...if I don't need a crib, then I shouldn't buy it! But I'm just wondering if anyone has made this decision and what you did with the nursery instead, etc. etc.
I'll be breastfeeding, by the way. I didn't explicitly state earlier that but that's one of the reasons for the proximity issues. It'd be a whole different ballgame if we could take turns with a bottle.
You could get a crib that converts into a toddler bed and full size bed. I did not use the crib that often with my son, but it was nice for when I had someone else watching him or when I needed to put him somewhere when I was vacuuming his room. Now that he's older, the crib has been converted to a full size bed and is getting used every night.
I wish I had saved the money I spent on a quite expensive crib. It was barely used at night and almost never for naps. If I had to do it over, I might buy a very inexpensive crib (think IKEA) for those few times that it worked for her to sleep there.
Don't overthink it. If you find you need a crib later, you can always get one.
Just get an inexpensive crib or a pack and play. Ikea has some great options. With a toddler in the house there will be times when you'll need to put the baby in a safe place :)
It sure seems to me that my grandsons crib was used quite often to store blankets and put clothes when they came out of the dryer. If you don't need one, don't buy one.
LOL... I had the opposite problem. I'd planned on cosleeping, and my son would have none of it! Nonsleeping baby until I set him in his crib as a safe place while I did *something* (forget what) and he conked out. First real, honest to god sleep he'd had. For hours. Experimented a bit over the week, and by the end of it... he was in his crib in his room. That kid just needed his own space! He started piling into bed with me about 50% of the time when he was 3, and at age 9 it's still about 50/50.
((I'm serious, though. He wouldn't sleep in bed, in a cosleeper, or in a bassinet. He needed to be able to sleep with his arms and legs straight out and not be touching anything. Goofy kid.))
So I'd say to save your money for now. If it turns out later you need one (if you end up with a kid like mine!) get one then.
As far as the nursery goes... get a playpen! I half LIVED in my rocking chair in there (lazyboy)... again ebf mom, not by choice, but my breasts don't pump (:P) and my husband has a thing about being woken up. So the rocking chair is probably unnecessary for you.
A fairly empty room, however, is a GREAT place to speed crawl, learn to walk, play toss in, keep a changing table.
Don't buy a crib until of if you decide you need one. You know that as a breastfeeding mom you are going to keep your newborn by you which is in your bed/cosleeper. So, no crib needed. When the baby outgrows cosleeper/your bed, then you can decide what to do. Why keep a possibly unused crib in your house? But, think about naps, babysitters, etc when you aren't in the big bed with him/her.
What will you do for naps? The other thing that comes to mind is, sometimes you may need a safe place to put the baby while you are in the bathroom or something.
I would get a portable crib or a pack and play. Both can be moved to different rooms easily as needed. Especially with a toddler in the house, there are times when having a safe place to put the baby down is helpful.
With my first baby, she definitely had a crib. I provided daycare for a little boy who was exactly 30 days older than her and had him from the time he was an infant and his mother returned to work. I had two babies, so I had a crib AND a pack-n-play as I only had two arms.
When my son came along, he actually had two cribs, one downstairs and one upstairs. I also had a playpen downstairs that I could move around. I had a huge house so it was all out of necessity, I assure you.
If you don't want to get a crib right now, then you can get one later, but my first thought is that you might find you will use one more than you think, especially with a 2-1/2 year old. If you all sleep in the same bed at night, that might be fine, but you should have a place well off the floor where you can lay your new baby down during the day. I have friends who wanted their kids close together and many of them found it a challenge to keep the older ones from trying to pick up the baby or trying to climb in the pack-n-play or tossing toys in it while the baby was in there.
It can be easy to get by without a crib with a first baby, but when you're juggling two, it can be a different story.
Best wishes!
Hindsight is 20/20 and if I knew then what I knew now we never would have purchased a crib either. We ended up selling ours as pratically new.
We never used a crib for any of our 3 daughters, but we did need a safe place to put them on occassion. Solution? Playpen! MUCH cheaper than a crib, yet it's still a good place for them to sleep if needed. Get a pretty one with a ruffle and the nursery won't seem so *empty* without a crib :o)
what about naps? with a two yr old you will not always have the luxury of napping when the baby naps. Personally I was given a crib by my neighbors, and bought everything big second hand. So you don't need to spend a lot for a crib (just check for safety)
I agree - get a pack and play. If only to have someplace to put your sleeping baby during the day when you are super busy with your 2.5 year old. Your baby will need someplace safe to sleep for naps.
Where did your older child nap when he was a baby? I co-slept some... but our babies slept in our room mostly in a pack and play until they were 6-7 months when I moved them to the crib.
With my first I often napped with him, or let him sleep in the same room as me on the floor (on a blanket). But once I had two, I needed a quiet (safe) place for #2 to sleep. So, we used the crib (or pack and play).
J.
My oldest daughter purchased a lovely crib when she was pregnant with her first child 4 years ago...it was never used except as a place to put the clean laundry before she put it away. The crib disappeared several years ago...and has never seen the light of day again. They had their 2nd baby on Thanksgiving day and she co-sleeps in the big king sized bed with Mama, Papa and her big brother.
My middle daughter didn't even pretend to consider a crib when her son was born 2 years ago.
Why buy a crib if you aren't going to use it? Why have a nursery if you don't need one? Both of my daughters keep a "changing table" next to their side of the bed...but it is basically a storage unit for diapers, wipes, clothing changes etc that they need to access in the night.
As parenting styles evolve ( I guess they aren't evolving since co-sleeping is certainly not a new idea...just an old one that is finding favor again!!) then other things will necessarily change too.
As to what our daughters did with their "nursery"....one turned hers into a play room for the children..the other....has turned hers into a combination guest room and it also serves as a storage room for the mounds of supplies that she has for the gift bags that her organization hands out to new Moms to encourage breast feeding!!!
Good luck and congratulations !!
With baby #1, I was a single Mother and was given a crib from a charity. We never used it and I passed it on to another single Mom who was adamant about not co-sleeping (see I can be generous and kind to those who go against my personal rules!). Baby #2 came... didn't even bother with a pack n play - because of course he was coming right into the bed with my husband and I.
The only reason I feel this seems odd, out of place or driven to you specifically, is due to the Western culture's indoctrination about baby needing to be isolated from Mom and in their own cage/bed/space. Most of the rest of the world, developed or not, will breastfeed exclusively and bed-share for at least the first 6-9 months anyways.
I'd do what you felt was right.
Hi there,
I love your opening! I, too, never thought much about co-sleeping until our daughter refused to take expressed breastmilk in a bottle during the day while I was working. So I'd come home from work and be a human milk factory from 5:30 p.m. until 5:30 a.m. I was determined to make it work, and I did by co-sleeping. Of course, my mom and dad had already purchased a beautiful and expensive crib for us and it was never used.
Look at it this way, it's easy to go out and buy a crib should you need one at any point, right? I'd save the money for now and see how things are going to work out w/ the new baby. Good luck and congratulations!
We bought a rediculously expensive crib for our first and only used it a handful of times. It converts to a toddler bed, then full headboard and footboard. Even though we now have a full bed set up, we don't use the converted crib because the bed would be elevated too high and I don't want my kids falling that far!
We set up the nursery again for our second baby, and I must admit that it was used a whole lot more! :) She was way easier going and a much better sleeper than our first. She actually slept in her crib for a few months, only waking once or twice a night (she was a dream baby!). Even after she got object permanance and seperation anxiety and started co sleeping at night, she still napped very well in her crib during the day.
If you don't already have a crib, I don't think I'd advise you to go out and buy one in the hopes that this baby will use it. But I would plan to have a seperate room for baby to be able to nap in safely and quietly while you are doing busy activities with the two year old. Maybe have a playpen available for when baby is able to roll around and sit up, and the co-sleeper or big bed become unsafe napping options because you won't be able to monitor his naps while you are chasing a two year old.
I also found it really nice to have a "nursery" for number two because I had a lot of visitors, often (every weekend we had family, and during the week friends were over almost every day). The nursery was a place I could retreat to and nurse, rock, change baby without interruption. Because our three year old saw our room as "his" as well, going to my room to nurse didn't really deter him, or family members playing with him. But if the baby's room door was closed, no one came in! :) Just things to consider. Think about your own family, daily expectations, and size and layout of your house. You may decide to get a crib a few months after baby is born if he is a great sleeper, check consignment stores - I know our local ones will only sell cribs without a drop side and they check all safety regs on cribs they take. The require make and model number before they take a crib (I know because I considered selling mine ;))
I'm the same as you, working on my third kid now and we co slept with all of them. My 3 year old is starting to want yo sleep with big sister and I'm about to deliver my first boy,the timing couldn't be more perfect . I see nothing wrong with the idea of a crib less nursery , in fact I find the idea more pleasant than a regular one. However, to make things easier think " playroom that you can add a bed to later . Honestly your baby won't really be using the room much as an infant and you can gave about a year to perfect ( paint , baby proof, and decorate ) the room before your new addition really even takes steps in there .
Because we moved around a lot, and lived in a very small apartment at first, we started with a cradle, and then co slept for a bit. Then my son had his own room with a twin mattress around 1 year old. That way, he had his own room, and if I went to him in the evening and fell asleep, I'd be comfortable. We never had a crib. Perhaps this would work for you :)
Go on line a see the ABC's for baby's sleep.
Blessings....
My first child loved to sleep with me, my second absolutely HATED it (I was a single mom so no husband/daddy issues.) I exclusively breastfed both of them, but from a week on my daughter would only sleep in her crib or pack n play for night sleep and naps. I had a twin bed in her room and would sometimes rest there. My little guy is the same, needs and wants his own space ; )
So see how your baby likes it, you can always pick up a crib (Ikea for an inexpensive one) if you need one after he arrives, but definitely have a pack n play ready for "safe" naps (away from your toddler or when you are busy) for your baby.
Congrats!
My crib was a waste of money as well... I nursed and it was easier to keep him with me. I did have a bassinet that I used and kept by the bed so at times I could put him in there. That was nice for when he was very small, but from like 6 months on he slept with me. I was going through a divorce and I think part of it was my need to have him with me. But... we co slept for a long time and like I said, the crib was a waste. I like what other mamas have said that if you change your mind there is no rule you can't buy one later. See how how it goes!
My first child hated the crib...he didn't like sleeping in it...moved him to big boy bed as soon as possible.
My second LOVED her crib...never ever tried to climb out. she napped in there and slept all night in there. She would dive out of your arms to get into the crib. She was still in it when at her three year old well visit the pediatrician read me the riot act about how unsafe it was for her to still be sleeping in a crib. I had never even thought about it she was so content sleeping in it...and would call me when she woke up to come and get her.
So each child is different...my oldest (7) will end up in our bed sleeping with us a couple of nights a week. She (4) has only gotten in bed with us once and that was because she was sick and needed mommy to help her feel better.
Crib was a total waste for my first...but my second got our money's worth.
I'm a single mom to 3. I have a 7 month old and he sleeps in his pack and play in my room or in my bed. He is exclusively breastfed and i just put him on the boob and go to sleep.
I just got a matress for a crib that i had all ready from my other 2. But am having a hard time kicking him out of my room.
SO i know what you mean.
I like the idea of a co-sleeper or having a pack-n-play available if you need it.
All 3 of ours were co-sleepers. Wish we would have saved the money and not bought a crib.
We were in a very similar position! I bought a crib for my first and rarely used it. If we hadn't already owned one, I would not have purchased one for baby #2. My younger son is 15 months now, and he has just started taking occasional naps in the crib. We got our (gasp...drop side!!!) crib in 2007, used, for $200, and we probably have still not gotten our money's worth out of it :)
All you need is a Pack n' Play.
When we were pg w/ our 1st we bought a beautiful crib that she slept in exactly zero times.
Good for storing toys and blankies though.
#2 arrived and we never even got it out.
Won't be getting it out for #3 either.
My son slept just fine in the portable crib for naps.
(We didn't have a spare room so that is not an issue for us-but I wouldn't stress about looks, it will be filled w/ stuff soon enough! ;))
