Hi S.,
Your situation sounds similar to the one I was in about 4 years ago. I got out of the military to be a stay-at-home mom and go back to college while my husband stayed in the military. When he decided to start "disappearing" every weekend and was pretty much gone most of the weekday nights as well, I felt really isolated at home with a then 6 year old and infant; plus he was spending most of our finances on himself putting us in a horrible financial situation. I could barely buy groceries and diapers due to his spending sprees. I even had to sale my $1500.00 computer for $400.00 just to buy groceries and pay our electric bill. All of this led to an extremely frustrated and depressed me. I can relate to your panic attacks as well. The thing that helped me the most during that time was talking to family; especially my mother. Being a stay-at-home mom and new to Colorado Springs, I really didn't have any friends to talk to. Sometimes talking to people about things really does help you to not feel so isolated. Getting advice from outside helps as well. This is what helped me to eventually take charge and lay down the law to my husband. Now, 4 years later, we are doing much better financially and in our marriage. Even though I'm still a stay-at-home mom, I get out a little more and am back in college again. I think the suggestions that people have made about church is a really good idea. Even if you're not an avid "church-goer", you would be surprised how many people you can meet there and relate to as well; not to metion the help you may be surprised to find there. As far as your immediate financial situation, maybe if you have the extra time you could do odd jobs around your neighborhood; such as mowing lawns, dog-sitting and/or walking, babysitting...etc..,just until you got back on your feet again and feel a little more secure with your finances. These are things your 4 year old might be able to help you with as well...or you can do them when your husband is at home to watch after the kids. It sounds like you're on the right path with getting your associates degree in a few months. Once you have a good job with that degree, you could even move on and get your bachelors and get an even better paying job! Financial Aid is usually a big help with college expenses as well. Also, have you been in touch with the WIC services. They are really helpful and offer great programs. Even though my finacial situation is somewhat stable now, my family qualifies for montly WIC checks because my husband is the only one working at the time. When I get my degree and go back to work, we won't qualify, but for now it really helps out with the grocery bills. Anyway, sorry my response is so long but I've been where you are and can really relate with your situation. Feel free to e-mail me at: ____@____.com anytime! You can also find me on MySpace at: http://www.myspace.com/beccaophelia
Again, e-mail me anytime even if just to chat and have some adult company. I'm always looking for people to talk to and
get together with. A little about me; I have a 10 year old boy, a 3(almost 4)yr.old boy, and a 15 month old little girl. Like I said, I'm a stay-at-home mom and part-time college student and always glad to chat with people about anything.I live right here in Colorado Springs as well. I know you will get on track and the road there will only get better; even though it seems unlikely at times. Have your older children help out too so that you can get some free time to yourself; if only just to take a bubble bath and read a good book. Feel free to contact me anytime through e-mail, MySpace, or Mamasource. I'm usually at home:-) Take care,
R.
