A Good Night's Sleep

Updated on February 25, 2008
S.H. asks from Longmeadow, MA
16 answers

I have an almost 4 month old who goes to bed at 7 pm, wakes up anywhere between 10 pm-12 am, takes a bottle, and then goes back to sleep until 5 or 6 am. My older son was sleeping 10-12 hours straight when he was 4 months old. I am now hearing how lucky I was to have a good sleeper in my oldest, but feel like my little guy should be sleeping through the night by now-he weighs over 16 lbs and is formula-fed!! Is he too young to let him cry it out?

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L.S.

answers from Portland on

Hello S., I think its a good idea to let him cry it out.I have a son who will be 27 in March and when he was a baby he done the same thing and i just let him cry it out.I have talked to my dr when he was young and thats what he told me let him cry it out.I also live in Gorham and if you ever need someone to help you clean house while you are working I would love to help you out my phone number is ###-###-####.You live in Gorham right?I live across from the college.

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J.H.

answers from Burlington on

Yes, he is too young to let him cry it out! Please don't do it yet! For 4 months old, it sounds to me like he IS a good sleeper and your oldest an exceptionally good sleeper. Take it from a mom who has not been so lucky, count your blessings! A baby that young is waking at night for one reason only. He needs you. He is far too young to be manipulative in any way. If you don't go to him, you are sending the message that he cannot depend on or trust you to meet his needs. I know how hard it can be when you just want and need some unbroken sleep but hang in there. Most experts agree that you can start sleep training at 6 months, so you don't have too long to go and maybe by then he will already be sleeping on his own. It sounds like he is on his way. Good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Barnstable on

well with my son at four months he weighed just about 16 lbs and the doctor said to start feeding him rice and oatmeal, and it worked. Two days after beginning the little meals he slept from around 8pm-6 or 7am. ASk your pediatrician:)

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T.H.

answers from Boston on

Your baby is a GREAT sleeper too- as far most are concerned he IS sleeping through the night!! Enjoying 5 uninterrupted hours of sleep is something most Mom's long for ...including me:) Hang in there! I keep reminding myself they are only little for a truly short period time of their and our lives...then we'll be waiting up for them to come home!!!

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L.D.

answers from Hartford on

I don't think crying it out is EVER appropriate, especially with such a young baby who is doing GREAT. Some just don't sleep well, and mine were much older than that before they stopped waking up during the night. My now 5 month old 17+ pounder is up every 1.5 hrs.. Consider yourself much blessed!!! Your kids are sleeping wonderfully!

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K.C.

answers from Boston on

Let him cry it out! It is the best gift you can give yourself and your child! Everyone needs their sleep!!

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S.M.

answers from Boston on

You do have a great sleeper in your youngest. Our daughter just turned one and has only been sleeping through the night for about a month. We started letting her "cry it out" at about 10 months. I know we could have started at about 9 but my heart would just break. Our pedi recommeded no more than 15 minutes and that is just about what it took. After about 4 nights she was a pro. I don't know if it was the timing/method or if she was just at an age that she was finally ready. In any event, hang in there a few more months before going down that road. I know that you're exhausted but there won't be many more nights when it's just the two of you gently rocking in the darkness with the bottle. He'll soon be wiggeling off your lap to go run and play so enjoy the moment. Good luck.

S.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

Hi Shelia,

I would absolutely love it if my 6 month old slept that much during the night! She falls a sleep around 10, wakes up between 12am - 1am nurses and goes back to sleep, then is a wake between 3:30 and 4:00am nurses goes back to sleep, and then is up at 5:30am for another nursing, and then is up for the day between 8:00 and 8:30am. My daughter is small at 13 1/2 lbs.

I would NEVER let him 'cry it out'. Babies are only small once. Babies need to know that they are safe and secure. Its a big scary world out there. How would you feel if you were left alone and crying in the dark? Its kinda scary - huh?

Good Luck,

Becky

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J.E.

answers from Boston on

I had the same thing with my oldest, slep through the night at 2 1/2 weeks old and then my youngest comes along and she didn't start sleeping through the night until a little after 4 months old. I would wait on the letting him cry it out right now, that is just my opinion. At 4 months old he may still need that bottle to fill his little tummy. It's actually not bad timing, well I envy it as I wish my little one had done that :). I would wait a few months or a little after you start him on solids to omit the bottle feeding at 10-12. Good luck.

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R.H.

answers from Portland on

S.,

You are getting some really good advice! I nursed all three of my children and if it weren't for the help that I got from my husband I wouldn't have been able to survive the sleepless nights.

Just for the humor of it!!!! I'm 50 years old and am still not sleeping through the night! I don't have the needs of your 4 month old or but we may have the same or similar problems that would effect our sleep. Hormones! He was riding with you for 9+ months and did have the joy of estrogen running through his veins.

Just think about the wonderful advice you are getting from all these people. Praise God for the good sleeper you have you both still have a lot to learn about each other. Soon your sleepless nights will be related to him staying out too late! Look for the good things he does and stay positive. It will help you enjoy the stage you are in now!

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M.L.

answers from Burlington on

My now 2 year old son did the same thing. He woke up once per night until he was around 9 months old. I had a great baby sleep book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", and it told me that many babies need a night feeding until they are about 9 months old. We tried giving it up around 4 months, and for a few weeks, he would get himself back to sleep, but after a while, he just cried inconsolably. We continued a feeding until he was 9 months (although I think we could have given it up at 7 months) as the books said, and from the day we quit it, he never cried to be fed. He would still wake up occassionally, play a bit, and go back to sleep.

I have also read repeatedly that until about 6 months of age, babies should not really be allowed to cry it out for more than a few minutes.

Your little guy is hungry at night, it's normal, and I wouldn't deprive him of his food.

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A.M.

answers from Providence on

I went through the same thing with my son and the doc told me that 5-6hours at that age is sleeping and that I shouldn't worry about sleep training (sleeping 8-10 hours) until he is 6-9 months old. You really need to understand that the cry it out method is for baby's that wake up more out of habit not because they are hungry and at four months old he is waking because he is hungry! Unfortunately I know it is tough because DJ for a long time only slept 3-4 hours at a time and I was tired for a long time, but it will get better. We did the cry it out and he was about 9 moths old and he finally started sleeping through the night around 10 or 11 months old but it got better 2 days after we started the cry it out method. He is now 21 months and is still an early riser he is usually up and ready to go by 6am and I have tried to change is bed time! Oh well! Hope this helps!

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C.H.

answers from Boston on

Hi S., you lucky mother! You are truly blessed with two children who sleep. Really, what "should" be happening doesn't matter in the big picture, each kid is different. "Sleeping through the night" is defined as 5 hours+ in what I've read, and in fact, your younger child IS awesome and a blessing! You really have been lucky with both kids.

My son, now 4 3/4 months old, was a great sleeper according to me, waking a few times a night (2-4) to eat and then went right back to sleep, until he turned three months old. Then something happened and he has been waking 3-7 times a night to eat or just wake up and at least once a night needs more than 10 minutes to go back to sleep. His napping is our focus, hoping that a good napper means a good sleeper, but we are still trying. He is 19lb and 27", a very healthy boy, and seldom cries.

I am not a fan of "crying it out" at all. I know many are, so I won't diverge into my arguments here, but try the book The No Cry Sleep Solution if you are concerned. It is working for us to get our son to go back to sleep on his own. It's just taking time, as any lesson does. However, I don't think you have anything to be concerned about and really should be counting your blessings that you are sleeping more than 4 hours in a row regularly.

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

I agree with those that feel you ARE lucky and both your babies are exceptional sleepers. By definition, your 4 month old IS sleeping through the night. He is only waking to feed and then sleeping another 5-7 hours so that's the best you can ask for. If you need more sleep (and who doesn't?) - you should go to bed early, have your husband give the 10pm-12Am feed and then you get up at 5 or 6am (or vice versa). You should probably wait a little longer to introduce food unless your pediatrician says not to. My pediatrician said to start rice cereal at 5 months and we did with great success. Since he is bigger maybe you should start him earlier - I would ask. That way each of you gets to sleep. Congratulations that you have such wonderful sleepers!

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L.C.

answers from Springfield on

Hi S., I also have a son who was in the habit of waking for a feeding, or shal I say, I was in the habit of giving the feeding. My pediatrician said to stop the bottle in the middle of the night and see if he will quiet with just being rocked or snuggled for a few minutes. It will be tough to get through if you let him bottle feed till he falls asleep again, I have always put my children down awake and they fell asleep on their own, but the snuggling thing worked for us -- it was easier than I thought it would have been. I believe my son was more around 6 months though, so see what you Pedi suggests. Best of luck!!! L. C.

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C.J.

answers from Boston on

I have had the same problem with my daughter...the pediatrician said at anywhere from 4-6 mos. a child should not "nutritionally" need a bottle at night and would be good to let them cry it out...it's working with Cailey, slowly but surely we are seeing improvements.

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