Adapting to Baby Refusing Bottle at Daycare

Updated on February 25, 2007
B.D. asks from The Colony, TX
9 answers

My son is 14 weeks old. He had been taking a bottle since 3 weeks old. At 9 weeks, he quit cold turkey. I returned to work 2 weeks ago, after spending the last 3 weeks of my leave stressing and trying every type of bottle. His daycare teachers have been WONDERFUL at working with him on the bottle. He can suck it fine (he did best with Avent bottles), but it seems to be a matter of him holding out for me. He's eaten as little as 1/2 oz. the entire day and as much as 10 oz, so we think he's doing just what he needs to to get by. He's then nursing every 2-3 hours all night.

I don't have it in me to "hold out" and force him to take a bottle. I think if we did that, it would force us to quit nursing completely and I think it's important to continue. Have any of you gone through this? I'm wondering how long to keep trying, or if we should accept his preference and adapt to him. Thankfully, he's not crying for me all day. He's patiently waiting. For those of you who've adapted, what did you do? What tips do you have? I can go to daycare to feed him at lunch. If he's not eating mid-afternoon, do I continue to pump or will his feeding all night keep my milk supply?

It's just killing me to spend the time pumping at work and seeing it all dumped out over the course of the week. I've been agonizing about how important it is for him to take a bottle, or if it's just time to accept it and adapt. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

UPDATE 3/10:
We ruled out an ear infection, then gave him 1 more week at daycare without me going to feed him at lunch and he took more and more each day. By the end of the week, he took his bottles without a fuss. He still wants to reconnect and nurse right away each evening, but that's fine. He's also waking less frequently at night to nurse, so we're slowly improving there too. He will not even consider a bottle from me, but I'll keep trying periodically. I'm just happy that he's eating more during the day and that the patience of his teachers really paid off.

Thank you all again for your kind support and advice!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your wonderful input! It is so helpful to get sincere input and advice. I appreciate you all taking the time to respond to my request.

Today, I fed him at lunch, then he took 4 oz in the afternoon after crying for almost two hours. I'll give you another update the end of this week.

More Answers

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hi B.,
Both of my children did that and they did just fine. My doctor assured me they will not starve themselves and they didn't. Once they acclimated, they started eating just fine at school, but it took forever. I was chronically sleep deprived, but to me it was worth it. I enjoyed breast feeding them both and let them both chose when to quit. It was very difficult, but we made it through and they are both healthy and happy toddlers. I know it is hard, but follow your instincts and it should turn out fine. I kept in touch with my doctor and monitored their weight, was worried and made it through.
Good Luck!
A.

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A.

answers from Dallas on

My 3 year old did the same thing(reverse cycling). I was really freaking out at first, but then talked to La Leche League and was calmed down. They won't starve themselves. James nursed wonderfully and took a sippy cup early~never really took a bottle(would take 1/2 an ounce on occasion). I'd just keep doing what you're doing. Have them offer the bottle before he gets fussy, he may start taking it or he may keep waiting for Mommy!
BTW~I only pumped once a day in order to have something on hand. He never took it~so I quit pumping every 3 hours.
My 18 month old loved his bottle and I pumped religiously for 10.5 months. He's still nursing, but only at night.

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D.F.

answers from Dallas on

Hi B.,
I am a Childcare Provider that just went through this with one of my daycare children who is 12 weeks old. She would not take a bottle for Dad at home or me at daycare. We tried many types of nipples that worked for her early on, but when Mom went back to work, stressed, she held out from 6 am until 5:30 PM for several days. It took us trying the Gerber nipple that is weird shaped and we, Dad and myself, rocking side to side under a fan to finally get her to take a bottle without fighting, crying, and pushing the bottle away. Please be patient and try not to stress - he feels your stress. Also, have your daycare provider take several deep breaths before, and during feeding attempts to try and settle him. Now after three weeks, when she is hungry, she eats - no problem.
Hope this helps.

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J.

answers from Dallas on

My 8 month old still won't take a bottle. The daycare she is at has been really patient and kept trying bottles until I started sending sippy cups (which she still won't use). Daycare now offers a sippy cup two times a day along with baby food. They offered bottles when she would fuss until she was old enough for baby food. When she was tiny, she reversed her sleeping cycle a bit so that she was having long periods of sleep in the morning and afternoon and would nurse all night.

My baby nurses right before and right after daycare. I also go at lunch and nurse her. I pump once in the morning and once midafternoon. I don't have a real use for the extra milk, but it keeps my supply up to pump.

It was easier for me to adapt to the baby than to starve her into taking a bottle.

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

B.,

I went through a similar situation with my baby, too. She's now 5 months old. It has gotten better, but she's still not the best/easiest bottle eater. She does enjoy her rice cereal and baby food while at daycare then does the best she can with bottles. You might try the NUK gerber bottles. A sippy cup is also a good resource. I would continue to pump because if not, you might leak at work plus weekends will put you on a different schedule.

Good luck!

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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

I babysat a friend's child who did this same thing. She would nurse him in the morning, then he would hardly drink a thing all day from a bottle, then nurse like crazy when mom got home in the evenings.
I kept him on a good routine and he eventually started drinking more from the bottle, but not much. He would drink a couple ounces in the morning and a couple in the afternoon. He was growing and learning normally, so he was obviously getting enough to eat. Also, we learned that he preferred room temperature milk, rather than warmed milk.

If you can feed him yourself in the middle of the day, that's a MUCH better option than pumping anyway, so I'd do it!

If not, I think you should definitely keep pumping if you can, and find out more about milk storage. Fresh breastmilk is safely stored in the refrigerator for 2 or 3 days. You can freeze is for 3 months, but once it's defrosted you need to use it within 24 hours. You don't have to waste as much if you are careful about how you store it and how much you store. If you're freezing what you pump, you might think about freezing just one ounce at a time. That way you just defrost a little bit. Defrost a couple ounces, then leave bottles of fresh milk that you pumped the previous day in case he suddenly decides to drink a lot. If he doesn't drink the fresh milk after 2 days and it has been continually refrigerated, freeze it.

And, keep it in mind that he will not starve himself. If he's hungry enough, he'll take what's offered (just make sure the daycare workers are, indeed, making an effort to offer it at regular times!). If he's got the stamina to hold out for mommy, so be it :-).

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

One thing that I want to ask. Sometimes when babies refuse a bottle they may have an ear infection. It hurts them to suck on a bottle. Has that been ruled out?

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A.L.

answers from Dallas on

B.,

Do you have the Avent slow flow silicone nipples on your bottles? You want to mimic the breast feel and flow as much as you can. Your little boy may be overwhelmed by the difference of having a bottle versus your breast. You could also try the Avent feeding bottle that really helps switch from breast to supplemental feeding. Check it out:

http://www.avent.com/uk/en/learn_more_faq_bottle_feeding.php

If none of those work, you might want to consider the Medela SoftFeeder: http://www.medela.com/NewFiles/specialtyfdg.html

Good Luck,
A.

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C.D.

answers from Dallas on

B.,

When I was in school I had a professor who hired a university student to pick her baby up and drive to her to nurse in the late afternoon.
I think this could be fairly cheap. It may seem drastic,but breastmilk is so important for babies health,and how long can you last every 2-3 hours at night???
Just a thought.

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