ADHD And Getting Up

This is something we struggle with as well. First, I would look into the quality and quantity of her sleep. Does she struggle to fall asleep? Does she stay asleep all night or does she sleep lightly, wake up, etc. My oldest (14, ADHD-i) takes melatonin and valerian root before going to bed and it does help somewhat. He should be in the shower by 6:45 AM. Earlier in year, there were some days when I would wake him up 4 or 5 times between 6:30 and 7 AM and he wasn't getting in the shower until 7:10. With the supplements, he's usually half awake at 6:40 when I first go in and then in the shower at 6:50. Big improvement! Having that few extra minutes means time to eat breakfast, pack his backpack, and start the day not running on empty and running behind.

There are also alarm clocks out there for a natural gradual wake-up. They slowly lighten the room like natural sunlight and provide the right spectrum of light to mimic sunshine, helping with mood and alertness. They're not cheap but might be worth the investment.

If she can get up earlier, there may be time for her to do something she wants to do AFTER everything else is done. My younger boys tend to have that problem. I have a 10-step Morning Routine printed and laminated and hanging in the kitchen. They know that if steps 1-7 are done before a certain time, they have time to relax and then steps 8-10 have to happen at a certain time. Maybe seeing it written out will help.

Also, I find that *I* am the problem on most problem mornings in that I have my own routines to attend to so if I get off track with keeping on top of them, they take that as permission to goof off and then we're all behind. So I have to be disciplined about getting myself up early enough to get my own things done while being able to stay on top of them. Anyway...if it helps the 10 steps are below - these were written for my kids when they were in pre-school so you can probably simplify them:

1 Wake up
2 get dressed
3 put away PJs
4 make bed
5 eat breakfast
6 brush teeth
7 put on socks (they only wear them when told, hence the separate step)
8 put on shoes
9 put on jacket/hat/gloves (seasonal)
10 get you backpack and go out the door

My list has silly pictures (because they were so young) so you can decorate it or have her go ahead and make it herself - a list is nicer if it's visually attractive to the person who has to use it.

Then maybe set up a positive reward system. For every day they have a good morning, they get some points and after building up points get privileges. If we have a bad morning, then I'll tell them that it must mean that they were tired so the go to bed a bit earlier the next night, meaning less time for play, TV, video games etc. Maybe take something that she enjoys (like computer time or TV time) and make it contingent on having a decent morning. You don't want to create a system where a bad morning becomes a miserable afternoon and evening as well, but you need to find something that's meaningful enough to her to motivate her to do what she needs to do (with prompting and supervision) even at a time of day that's not her best time.

My younger two have received detentions because their father can't get them to school on time because they won't get up, they have never been late from my house. The only difference, okay the only major difference, is that I have a line in the sand, they know what time they must be up by or things get ugly.

They know I will lift them out of bed and deposit them on the sofa. My son understand that with his height and weight this means being tossed from the top bunk and they know I will do it even though I never have.

I have ADHD, all four of my kids have ADHD, someone with ADHD will not do anything until the last possible moment. Well most of the time, sometimes we just change it up a bit and get something done early. You must clearly define the last possible moment!

I think that I'd require her to take a night bath and put her school clothes on to sleep in every time she is late for school. She will have a reason (other than your displeasure) to not be late for school and not to fight with her brother if she has to sleep in her school clothes. If you have to toss her breakfast in the back seat of the car to get her to school on time, I'd do that too.

She is winning right now and you need to give her a real consequence for this behavior before you get hauled into court. (That has happened to some of the moms on THIS board because of excessive tardiness.)

Good luck, Mom ~ sending you strength!

Dawn

This is many mom's dilemma - not only those kids with ADHD. My 13 yr old son has ADD and my 16 yr old daughter doesn't. BUT - it's a struggle to get both of them up and out.

I think the big thing that works well for me in many different areas is to set expectations in a postivie way and remind them - many times that you know they will meet those expectations and you look forward to their doing what they need to do. Now that it's the weekend begin the conversation (which I think I'm going to do this weekend too). It will go like this: The mornings seem really rough getting up and getting out the door to school. Do you have any ideas about how we can make it work better? (listen to waht they have to say - they may have some good ideas - but really listen, don't interrupt) Then say, "here's waht I need - and I know you can do it. I need you to get up when I tell you to, and I need you to get dressed and come eat breakfast so we can leave on time" acknowledge the things that are tough - sibling arguments, etc. Tell them you now it's tough but I know you can handle this better and I am going to be thrilled as I watch you improve the process each morning.

At night pick out clothing for the next day, discuss breakfast options, pack the backpack and make the lunch ready to go in the fridge before you go to bed. (It's the last thing I do each night - and the toughest when I'm tired). Describe each step - step 1- get out of bed, step 2 - get dressed, step 3 - eat breakfast, etc.
My son is finally coming along. Just remember with kids of any age you have to tell them the plan, then tell them again, then remind them the next day, then confirm that it's going well and refresh thei rmemory. 3 or 4 days leter, remind them again - and don't forget to tell them a week later. You get the idea - it's a never ending thing...

Also - make breakfast a to-go type thing. This week we're having quesadillas for breakfast. Two flour tortillas microwaved with cheese and chopped ham. If we're running the kids can grab it and jump in the car eating breakfast as we go. Soemtimes it's PBJ sandwiches. (I'm big on getting protein in them in the morning - and I don't care if it's not a typical breakfast food.)

Make sure everything is done the night before. Backpack ready to go. Clothes laid out. Lunch made. All she has to do it put on clothes, eat and walk out door.