I have a 7 year old boy who is very active. I'm raising him as my own since he was 10 months old. His parents both were very much into the drugs and alcohol! His attention is very short and you can repeat the same thing over and over and over again and it's like he never heard me before. It's scary, because there's many times he'll just cross the street and and had a few near misses! I find that most everything he is told not to do he will go out of his way to do just that! I've reasoned with him, given him examples of what could happen in various situations if he wasn't to listen. Such as stranger awareness. I've taught him well, but he's very social and we live across from a park that's used a lot as a rest stop and he goes up and will talk with anyone. I'm afraid that one day he will end up on a missing child alert; One time when I asked why he continues to do these things, he said that he didn't believe that any of those things would happen that we (me, my husband, teachers and extended family and friends) have had our turns of teaching him and reasoning with him in many various ways. He's a good boy and will do most anything to help our neighbors out. He's a tease most the time. He doesn't like to look into our eyes when talking. He's very hyperactive. For discipline we've tried everything. Time outs, grounding, chores, taking away favorite toys or activities and even a spat on the butt as a last resort. nothing seems to work. Once we've got frustrated and my husband took all his toys away and told him he could earn them back and that didn't work either. He would just go play with a stick or whatever else that is there. He's very imaginative! I've found that he thrives on praise and that works quite well to a degree; but still he'll go right back to the things that we're addressing. He's on medication and that's helped a lot with him focusing and he can actually make it through a book now and projects. We didn't want to treat him with medication, but felt he needed something to help him to focus better. We've explained to him that the medicine isn't used to make him pick good choices for him. That it's there to help him to focus better. That he has to decide what kind of choices he makes and that he really needs to think about things he chooses to do, because with everything there are consequences. Some he may like and some he won't like. He has to be center of attention especially when we are at the store or when we have company. At those times he goes out of his way to do everything he knows he shouldn't do, Jumping on furniture, picking on his younger sibling, yelling and carrying on. He don't act like he realizes he's being rude and we all tell him it is and that feelings get hurt in the process. He has a hard time understanding the feelings/emotions and we have tried to make him understand. We're quite confused and want to really help him. We love him very, very much and don't want to see him get hurt in any way. Any suggestions? Thank you!
I have an ADHD child and this does not sound like ADHD. This sounds like something more than that. His not getting social cues makes me thing of something in the Autism/Aspergers spectrum.
Have him evaluated by a developmental ped.
If you have him evaluated and they say it is ADHD , pick up the book " Taking charge of ADHD" by Russell Barkley
With ADHD you need not just medication he also needs to be seeing a child psychologist.
I know that child! See a Developmental Pediatricrian as soon as possible for a full evaluation. If you have not had a comprehensive evaluation, then you cannot say if it is ADHD or not, and my guess is not, but you should let a professional decide based on hours of time spent and pages of evaluation data. This boy deserves to be treated with a comprehensive plan that takes into account all that is going on here, and I don't think that you are there with a medication trial. Medicatiion is a tool, a very good tool, but it is used to help children with focus issues to get the most out of the therapy and interventions they need to be more typical. Your child needs these.
You have already discovered that nothing you are going to do that works with typical kids is going to work with him. That is the time that you need to find out how his brain functions so that you can help him. When a child has the intellegence to understand everything you teach him, and then lacks the ablity to apply them to himself nor the abilty to supress any impulse based on his knowlege, than THAT is the process you need to measure and have therapy to help. That very process of inhabition and application/generalization of whta they know is the basic issue that makes typical dicipline imposible for kids with developmental issues, and you are not going to get the kind of targeted intervention he needs to progress passed the point he is right now with out it. Call the nearest Childrens Hospital and make an appointment for a full developmental evaluation based on the behavior you see, and do not ask for an ADHD evaluation, because that is not what you want at all. You want to know what is going on here, and if it is ADHD, the evaluator will tell you that, just as if it is something else, they will tell you that.
The Developmental Peidatrician will be asking you questions about his prenatal, birth, and new born experience, so if you have contact with his mother, you need to ask her some really tough questions so that you know the answeres, and the questions are going to be about her alcohol and drug use, as well as prenatal care, his apgar scores, his new born ablities, and so on. It iwll do no one any good if she lies about drinking during her preganacy, if there is any way that you can get honest answers, do it.
At 7, with these issues, he cannot be doing too well in school either, or I would be willing to bet that his behavior is about to overwhelm his learning experience. Go to www.wrightslaw.com and learn about advocating for educational needs. Behavior is an educational need when it interferes with the learning process. Read a book called "All kinds of Minds" by Dr. Mel Levine.
You may have to wait for quite a while for the appointment that you need, so find a board certified child psychiatrist and see them, and use this professional for treatment once you get the full evaluation. Ask them for a referal to Cognative Behavioral therapy and get started with that. It is possible to start some thearpy based on what you see without a diagnosis, but don't skip the comprehensive evalaution, because I think you are missing a great deal here that you can get intervention for.
M.
I have to agree with others he's needs to see a specialist like a psychiatrist. I have a friend who has two kids who are very bad ADHD. These kids need to have structure built into their lives early and be taught the skills they need to thrive in life. Otherwise 5 years from the real problem will be failing his classes and doing horribly in school. And this could all very well be due to his mother drinking or doing drugs while preggers. Unfortunately he has to pay the price for her mistakes.
The psychiatrist can help him and you develop the skill set that he needs to thrive in the real world.
This doesn't sound like ADHD, my 8 year old has Autism and ADHD and this sounds more like her. I would take him to a neurologist for possible Aspergers. Without you saying more I can't say if he is on the Autism Spectrum but missing social cues is a part of Autism.
It sounds like you've gone through some of the process, at least, for having him diagnosed. But ADHD and other behavioral challenges are tricky to diagnose (it's based on parent and teacher observations and how the report them, since there isn't a medical test that can be done).
You're right that the medicine doesn't just "make everything better." It sounds like he needs something more. There can be issues lingering from being around his birth parents' drug use, etc, both prenatally and before you took him. And, some kids just have struggles and we don't know why. At any rate, I would suggest getting him assessed further. There is an assessment that his teacher fills out and one for you; the answers are supposed to be reviewed by a psychologist if I recall (there's a fancy name for this but I don't remember it). Have you gone through already? If not, you'll want to, but you may have to wait a few months so the teacher has a chance to get to know him (assuming you're on a traditional schedule).
Some doctors are still not really familiar or comfortable (or good) at diagnosing and treating ADHD and other behavioral challenges, and there is still a bit of a tendency to medicate before really getting the whole picture, although this is less common that 10 years ago. Even if your doctor is great, it may be time to ask for a referral to a specialist (which would most likely be a child psychiatrist). It sounds like counseling might be beneficial for him, too.
Remember (and tell yourself when you're frustrated), that kids with ADHD have some wonderful strengths, too. You've already seen his creativity and ability to make a game out of anything. And, in my experience, people with ADHD tend to be very smart! (My mom and brother both have ADHD - you don't grow out of it, you just learn to deal with it! And I taught for several years and had at least 1 student with ADHD, too. We're also starting the process of getting my son officially diagnosed. So I've been around quite a few people. *grin*)
You need to talk with a psychologist/psychiatrist. If the mom used drugs/alcohol while pregnant and more than likely, if she did them before getting pregnant she did even through the prnancy, she will deny it "until the cows come home" but kids of drug moms are known for having problems as kids. ADHD, behavorial problems, and many other things. Take him and get him evaluated
I agree with Martha and Joanna have him diagnosed ASAP, it doesnt sound too much like ADHD to me either.
If his mother was using drugs during her pregnancy he could have suffered brain damage. Even if she did manage to stay drug free, what kind of prenatal care did she receive? Was he with his mother during the first 10 months of his life and if so, what was his life like? Was he abused? Were his parent's using while trying to care for him? Those first 10 months are important for his development of trust and his ability to bond with his subsequent care takers. If possible, learn more about those first months.
I suggest that you have him evaluated for developmental issues. I suggest you start with a developmental pediatrician who will then refer him for further evaluations if (s)he sees signs that he needs additional evaluations. This sound like more than just AHDH.
Hi, V.:
Have you had him tested? Sounds like he is shut down emotionally
already. D.
