ADHD Behavioral Issues at School Advice????

Hi,

Here's Mom's checklist for school behavioral problems:

1. Does he relate well to his teacher? It could be a personality issue.
2. How does he interact with other kids? Maybe he needs help with social skills.
3. What is he eating? Some foods, like dairy, can make kids aggressive. Sugar, of course, can make kids crazy. Make a food diary and see if you can detect a pattern. Does he eat differently at home where he is Dr. Jekyl?
4. Does he have trouble with the work? Maybe he is acting out because he feels threatened with failure.
5. Have you tried supplements? Please feel free to visit my Web site susanjordanbrown.com and click on the store link for videos and info about terrific nutritional supplements for kids. Good supplements (not sugar-coated synthetics) can make a world of difference for developing neurological systems. This is the easiest, quickest fix if he is lacking crucial nutrients.
6. Does he do well in other group settings, like Sunday School? It would help to know if it is school itself or all social settings that trouble him.
7. Anything bothering him? How's his relationship with his dad?

You don't have to answer these to me. They are just a good checklist of things to consider in hopes of identifying one or two things that are fixable. Please look into these before giving him the drugs. I heard a psychiatrist (Dr. Neecie Moore) say that she did a study on her patients in drug rehab and found a high percentage of them had been on drugs for ADHD as children. You don't want to predispose him to addiction!

I hope this helps.
S. B.

Instead of meds, look into neurofeedback. Perhaps there is a clinic in your area. It's safe, extremely effective, no or few side effects (and they're harmless), usually covered by insurance, and much cheaper than meds.

I recommend this as a part of an overall approach, though. As I would with the meds. ADHD is a symptom of probably a high amount of mercury or some other toxin, or else a nutritional deficiency of some kind. ADHD and mercury poisoning share exactly the same symptoms. Think about his vaccine history. Even though they stopped producing vaccines with mercury (thimerosol) a few years ago, the stockpiles were so enormous that took a long time to run through. As I understand it, some vaccines still have thimerosol in them.

If your son received multiple vaccinations on any given day; was sick soon before or on the day of his vaccination; or had other risk factors, then his chances of having ADHD-like issues are higher.

There are things you can do, though. The fact that he's 7 is in your favor. You can do detoxes with drs.' supervision and reverse a lot of the damage.

Get a copy of What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Childhood Vaccinations by what's her name. She used to have a detox clinic in...Missouri, I believe. I think she has since retired, but if you look around, you can find clinics that do similar things with similar results.

After all of that, it occurs to me...you're saying that he acts fine at home. Let me back up then. This sounds like it's not a physical problem. You wouldn't want to medicate his behavior away, because it is signaling that something is wrong. It sounds like something is troubling him at school. Being 7, and feeling as upset as he is about it, he might not even be able to articulate what it is. If it were me, I'd get into counseling with him and just be very supportive and see what comes of it.

Good luck! And on the hard days, remember that children only misbehave because they don't yet know the appropriate ways to get what they want and need. (This comes from Becky Bailey's Easy to Love, DIfficult to Discipline. Highly recommended.)

Whatever it is, it will be a process getting things back on track. There are no quick results. It only looks that way on t.v. :) Be patient with yourself and him.

L.

That sounds just like me regarding my 8yo girl! I spent years trying everything before I put her on meds - she wouldnt have graduated the 2nd grade without them. Doing a diet change certainly helped, but not where her schooling was concerned.

Check out these links for info on the diet thing, you'll be amazed at the change in your family's health:
www.naturodoc.com/library/nutrition/MSG.htm
www.organicconsumers.org/foodsafety/msg091405.cfm

As soon as we can, we're looking to putting her into some type of martial arts class. I hear the discipline they learn greatly benefits their ability to control the disorder. I've always had ADD and anxiety symptoms, and I wish I would have had the opportunity to control them better when I was younger. I hope this helps. If you would like any more info on the diet change or suggestions on how to start, feel free to let me know. :}

First...my hat is off to you that you put forth the effort to be active in your child's school with so much on your plate. It can't be easy!

Blah! This is such a complicated subject. If your son is fine at home and acts up at school, have you asked him why he misbehaves? Is there someone being unkind to him (even when the teacher is not looking -the playground can be a brutal place)? Have you recently moved? Is he just BORED? How long have you been in school...has your time with him recently declined? Any change in routine can throw kids for a loop. Ask him what's bothering him. It could be a combination of things.

If he is just bored, get him evaluated to see if he is being challenged enough in class. I see another reference to IEP (individualized education plan), yes...schools are required to make sure your child is being educated in a way that will benefit HIM, you just have to know your rights because they don't advertise this (No Child Left Behind).If he is being bullied, try your best to help..the schools do mediation with kids now. (sit bully and bullied kid together and have them explain to each other how they feel about what is going on - very effective)

If he has ADD or ADHD, that's a whole other subject. My daughter is borderline ADHD and she is also gifted (not an uncommon combination). First grade was not a good year! She was not in self contained gifted yet, and she wasn't taking anything. She is now in gifted classes and I give her a vitamin complex called "Added Attention" from Buried Treasure. It's $20 a bottle and lasts 2 - 4 weeks, depending on what dose. Also, she gets an Omega-3 fatty acid capsule (lowest adult dose). This combination is supposed to give her body the nutrition for her brain that she needs to possibly outgrow ADD or ADHD. It promotes brain development, including developing the neurotransmitters that an ADHD brain is lacking. She is doing tremendously better. Her teacher actually called me to ask what I was doing differently after she took it for a month, her ability to stay on task was that improved. Raising her is still an exhausting challenge, but it is more manageable now. No more notes from the teacher and we get E or S grades in behavior. Please research food additives, especially nitrates and nitrites...this is getting long :-)

Medication does mask the problem temporarily, and the child is easier to deal with. What I try to remember is that it is not about me and my comfort (aaaahhhh!!!) but about my daughter being comfortable enough to keep herself under control and about her learning life skills (called compensatory skills) to help her function in a world that's so different from how she thinks and learns. These kids don't act up because they want to be in trouble, they just can't help themselves. I just am not an advocate of drugs for behavior with kids because we all need to learn self control, no matter what it is that we're compelled to do.

I hope this helps, and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.
Good luck, ~K.

Honestly it sounds like something at school is the problem. If he is having issues at school, makes sense that's it's there.

Now meds are not the cureall, but if he needs help in school, then by all means help him! You want him to have a positive experience in school that will carry through his school days.

Can the teacher make notes on times of bad behavior, what they are doing at the time, etc? Do you work with the teacher daily? This could pinpoint or narrow down the problem.

If it's an all day problem, then I suggest looking at the teacher and the way she teaches. These kids cannot be taught the same as other kids, there has to be some modifications for them to succeed.

Are the consequences at school? You have them at home, but what about school? Do not make missing recess a consequence! LOL....they need this more than anything!

Is there a quiet place he can go to chill out? School can be overwhelming and you have sensory overload, which is a cause of acting out.

Hopefully you have a great teacher that will work with you and your son.

My son Jake is 8 and he has had both good and bad teachers. His bad teacher was DEVIL! We ended up calling a disability lawyer on her and the school for not following the behavior plan or the IEP.

This year we have an awesome teacher, of course we moved 1000 miles away! She communicates daily with me and is so good with Jake, which has made all the difference in the world!

If your son needs help by the way of meds for school, then do it. I am not a med-junkie by any means! I just believe that children should have a good school experience especially in the younger years. If he needs help, it's not his fault and it's not YOUR fault. Us moms with kids like this have a huge amount of stress on us.

A dr. once told me, "it's not about you, it's about your child." (I was against meds in the beginning..LOL)

I have always remembered what she said and it makes perfect sense.

Hope this helps!
T. :)

Hi T.,
Did you ever stop to think that maybe it's NOT your son's problem? I, too, have spent many years volunteering at different public schools, and have seen things out of teachers I never would have believed possible, even on up into the highschool years. One high school teacher HID a boy's artwork and gave him F's saying he never handed it in because she didn't like him. She even told him that she didn't like him. The next semester, quite by accident, one of my daughter's friends discovered it all stuck in the back of the art closet. That's just one example. Sometimes, when a teacher has problems with a student the other teachers tend to "dog pile on the rabbit" so to speak rather than stand up for the child. Does he misbehave when you are in the classroom volunteering? Because I have been involved over 20 years in public schools with my stepkids and my own kids, I have seen things at all grade levels that is just unbelievable. Another problem is, many teachers expect all kids to behave the same way. The newsflash is, BOYS do not behave the same way as GIRLS do. Most teachers have a preference of one over the other. I began to make it a practice by the time my son was in 2nd grade to make sure the teacher he was assigned that year had a boy of her own, if possible. IT HELPS!!!! Don't assume that it's all your child's fault, especially if you are not having trouble with him outside of school. There may be things going on in the classroom when you aren't there that you are unaware of, that he is too young to verbalize yet. (One thing I've noticed is -- and this is a little thing to adults, but to kids it's a big deal-- the "problem child" is very rarely if EVER asked to be the line leader or change the calendar or read the lunch menu, etc.-- those little morning chores that mean the world to kids to get to do once in a while.) It's amazing what some of these so called "professional teachers" can do to your child in those small ways. Not to "dis" all teachers because there are some very good, caring people in the teaching field, and I have teachers in my family, but I'm telling you what I've seen over many many years. Maybe your son's 'behavioral problems' are not really all HIS problems!
C.

Hi T.,

I can empathize with you. I have a 15 year old son who has ADHD, Asperger's Syndrome, ODD and Bipolar. He was diagnosed first with ADHD at the age of 5. We had constant problems with him at school until we got an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) and the teachers starting teaching him differently. Do you have an IEP? Is he mainstreamed or in a special education class? For the first 8 years of our sons school career we had him mainstreamed, mainly because they wouldn't place him in a special education class. Last year was his first year in all SpEd classes except his elective and what a world of change.

When JJ was about your sons age we made some small changes at home and at school that made a difference. We changed his colors from bright to pastel...the bright colors, especially red, are a trigger and made him more aggressive. (Especially his own clothing) We also placed an air freshener, vanilla scented, in his bedroom and his classroom. Vanilla has a calming affect and the teachers noticed a difference in their whole class. We also requested that he be seated away from other ADHD or hyper children and those wearing red...especially ones that he seemed to have difficulties with. All these little things made a difference, not a huge one, but enough to keep him out of trouble as much.

I hope this has been helpful and if you want to talk about his IEP please feel free to contact me.

W. Q

I know that a lot of doctors don't put much faith in a diet change for ADHD kids, but it does work. Find a nutritionist in your area and talk with him/her about going gluton and cason(sp?) free. I have a friend who is trying it with her son and seeing some positive results.
J.

I would do this:
Go online and look up some different vitamin/mineral difficiencies and see if his symptoms (behavior) line up with any of these.
Also, any glandular-type disruptions, such as thyroid, pituitary, thalmus, etc. If he has not ben checked for food allergies, that would also be a MAJOR concern.
What is he eating?? Unless he is on an all-organic diet,
you cannot be sure what type of chemical reactions are taking place in his body which can DEFINITELY alter behavior.
Our bodies depend on various electrical and chemical reactions, and any messing with that can destroy a very delicate balance. This is why you see MORE and MORE ADD kids these days. ANY food coloring is a no-no with ADD-type kids.

Moral: ADD is a symptom of something bigger. Accepting it as a disease will only perpetuate the problem. Get to the root, and you're able to CURE it, instead of just treating it.

We have dealt with this in my family. It was caused by hypothyroidism (which causes mutiple chemical and food sensitivities) in my case. It was also causing bipolar disorder with me. I am MUCH better now!

Do some research. And PS: I have a son JUST like yours. I feel your pain!

Blessings,
H.

I don't think this is a cure-all, but I've read some interesting stuff in John Rosemond's "A Family of Value," where he says that any child with a health or learning disorder is only 10% that disorder. The other 90% is normal child, so you should treat them as much like a normal child as possible, while still working around what limitations they have. He discussed ADD/ADHD in this book, and has some interesting points to make. I have not had to deal with this issue personally, but my husband has ADD and does not take medication because he never liked the side effects. He's found ways to cope and to help himself focus in school, first in nursing school, then with his bachelors, and now in medical school. But try giving the Rosemond book a read. :)

I am a volunteer advocate for special needs kids in central Arkansas. I see this a lot - kids are fine and home but have problems at school.

Find out what the difference is between the 2 settings, i.e. one is organized and structured and 1 may be less structured and more of a laid back environment. Which ever is the case at home, try to get his teacher to implement more of that in the class. If homelife is more spontaneous and less structured, see if she can implement some spontanaity (sp?) in the classroom.

ADHD is a condition that often requires medication and sometimes it doesn't. Which ever route you take with your child, know that a good doctor will not give you a precription you don't need. Medicating for ADHD is just like medicating for any other condition. If you child has diabetes, he can't help that. Neither can he help having ADHD and the symptoms of it. If classroom behavior is a significant enough concern, ask the school for a spec ed evaluation and request a 504 for modifications and accomodations, i.e. allow him to work standing or allow him to chew gum in class to give him a vent for his excess energy. A 504 can also give him more frequent energy burning breaks - and extra 5 minutes to go outside and run around the playground once...

There are ways to control excess energy and also to work with the excess energy.

When requesting the spec ed eval, ask for an intelligence assessment. Your child could also be highly intelligent and bored in class - this often mimics ADHD. Contrary to popular belief, giftedness is also a special education. I have seen more problems with gifted and unchallenged children than any other problems in the schools.

i am now a grandma of eight. i as a child had adhd. it is hard on the kid as much as the adult. my attention span would jump from thing to thing and subject to subject. i couldnt stay focused. so yes, get him back on his meds and into child counceling. adhd cant be helped. but it can be stimulated to a controlable level with the help of meds and counceling. set up time outs and stick to them. cause you dont have to allow him to be out of control just cause of his adhd. talk firm and stay firm toned with him. and maybe talk to a special counceler yourself in how to deal with your son. good luck. C.

Hi T.! I can relate...my son's behavior at school is very, very trying most of the time. My son is not ADHD, but he has Asperger Syndrome (an autism spectrum disorder). He is like a totally different child at school than at home. I get so upset, frustrated, stressed, guilty, etc. at times. One thing that we've been told is that school is a TOTALLY different environment than home. Especially if they are an only child, which my son is also. No, medication is not a cure-all, but with perseverance, time, and maturity things will continue to get better. I hope your son has 504 accommodations at school so that they are working with your son to overcome things and educate him properly instead of disciplining him for having ADHD.

If you need an ear with anything, please feel free to email me off-list at ____@____.com

Oh yes!... I agree with Cheryl P. -- It may be the teacher. And by now, your boy may be or feel labeled. That tends to make them act the way they are treated. I agree- getting a teacher that has a boy of her own-is important. My son had a second grade teacher that only had daughters. She had no clue about boys. I even have a grown neighbor father that has only daughters. He -being male-still doesnt understand boys! Weird-huh! But, it makes sense. I think teachers should be required to be trained with both sexes. There just arent enough good teachers. I would ask to visit his class and see how she operates. Then you could just imagine how it would be if you arent in the room. Talk to mothers of other boys in the class. Ya know- it just could also be a bad year and a awkward year. Talk with him about what happens when he gets in trouble. etc. Tell him he will doing better in class soon and that you know he will be a good boy! etc. Maybe good, positive expectations will turn his thinking around from the negative, "bad,wiggly,naughty,noisey,etc" label he may think he is. If you do feel led to try meds- I'd go online and see about the natural supplements for adhd etc. Try them & see if theres a difference. But, if its the teacher- kids know when they're liked or not-you may have to reassure him that some teachers have trouble just like everybody else and he may have to be extra good for her! Good luck! J.

This is an excellent group on diet and behavior: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/foodlab/

It's high volume with lots of mail, but those ladies know their stuff. You can set yourself to 'no mail' and read the archives when you can. HTH :)

Hi..I just wanted to say I feel for you. I recently got my daughter on meds for ADHD and I was so amazed how grades went up and I can see improvements at home but we have other issues with discipline which is my fault by babying her too much. But I even think the meds on helping on her to realize that; it is like she concentrate more and really listens. I always kinda thought she might but it wasn't until this Summer and how hyper she was and always on the go and never listened and acted like she didn't care and then she got into school and was already getting into trouble within the first two weeks; which I know that is normal cuz of just getting back into school after Summer but I'm glad I did.

My daughter is the exact opposite of your son cuz she is better at school than she is at home. I just know I was really amazed what the meds did within one week. I just was worried that she would think something was wrong with her but she seems to be dealing with it real well. I know it may take awhile for any kid to grow out of it. I know my brother had it but he out grew it but I have a nephew on my husband's side still has it and he is like 23 or 24 and still has it bad.

I am here if you need to talk or just to vent. Hope things get better for you and your son. It has be tough being single and working and going to school plus dealing with your son. I was a single mom for 4 years working and going to school too so I know it is not easy.

while I completely agree that you should treat your son as a normal child, because he is a normal child. If he truly has ADHD this is something beyond his control. If you have not been working with him on coping skills on and off his medication,he doesn't have the tools to be without it. WOuld you not get him glasses because they wheren't cool? Or not give him an asthma inhaler? I understand that you don't want him to be over medicated. But 7 is definetely not the age to just take him off of his medication. If he was severe enough to be diagnosed at such an early age then he most likely really needs it. He is very over stimulated without the help of the medication and is acting out because of it. Most of these actions aren't conscious. He just does them. Good luck,. I would definetely have him tested for food allergies as these cause ADHD like symptoms and are most times misdiagnosed. A change in his diet, while not always easy, could make all the difference.