ADHD Daughter

My son was diagnosed in November and before starting the meds in December we had a talk with him about how he sometimes feels like he is out of control, can't sit still at school, interrupts his teacher and his friends, etc. We told him he was going to start taking a medicine just like daddy's (my husband has it too) and that if it works, it will help him be a better listener and help him make good choices. We told him we knew that he had been trying really hard, but that we wanted to give him a little extra help. After the first day, we asked him how he felt about his medicine and if he felt different. He was so excited and said he was a good listener for his teacher and played nice with his friends all day. He still has good days and bad days, but now the bad are few and far between. He has taken his meds willingly every day so far.

It was important to me as well that my son understand there is not something "wrong" with him, but I explained to him this medication will help him be able to concentrate and focus. He knows it is difficult to keep his attention on one task, so this seemed the most understandable explanation for him. I totally agree you shouldn't let her perceive that a pill will "fix" the issue. If she seems confused, let her openly asks questions and give the most basic answers in language a 7 year old can easily understand.

My ADHD boys are being treated with diet. We have eliminated ANYTHING artificial from their diet and it has helped immensely. I just told them that this other stuff was bad for them and making them behave inappropriately. This food is healthier and will keep us that way.

Tell her the medicine will help her focus and to make better choices. Do your research on the type of meds the dr. has prescribed. Many of these medicines are stimulants and decrease appetite (one of the reasons I would not put my kids on them- they are very skinny and eat constantly). Some keep them awake or put them to sleep. Others make it seem like the child is in a daze all the time. Make sure you keep a diary of how the meds affect your child. Doses often need to be adjusted and you need to know how to adjust up or down and this info will help the Dr. treat your child better.

Good Luck. There are lots of resources out there. Check out ADHDdiet.com

Our son has ADHD, and other issues, as well, so I know how difficult it can be. We had to try all sorts of medication and just because it worked for a few weeks does not mean that it will work forever, as there can be a build up of the chemicals in the brain over time. What we have always explained to our son was that the medicine's purpose (we never use the word "drugs") is to help him, but it will never "FIX" the problem. The meds will make it easier for him to pay attention so that he can accomplish his tasks. There has to be effort on the child's part, a huge effort on the parents and teachers parts until the child can learn how to help himself. It's a tough row to hoe, as my Mother says, but it can be done with great success if you have a supportive network of teachers, doctors and friends.
I wish you the best...
K.

I told my daughter that it was a tool to help her in her struggle. She understood that she had difficulty with concentrating and remembering to do things, so I explained to her that she was going to have to work harder than the average bear to accomplish her goals, and I told her that just like having to develop coping skills like making lists and organizing, it was another tool to be used. It seemed to work for her.

In the interest of safety and non-discrimination, I also told her that she should not tell other children that she is taking meds. I told her she shouldn't be ashamed, but that many people don't understand, and some kids would think her meds were a toy instead of a tool. I explained to her that since they were meant for her, they were safe for her to take, but that if another child were to take them, it could make them very sick. Naturally, she doesn't take them to school with her, but I wanted to try to lay that foundation early, because I knew there would be a time when she was around kids who would be only too happy to try to pressure her into giving them pills. She is now in middle school, so I guess that time is now.

(Interestingly, she seems to be somewhat outgrowing the need for them. I used to be able to see a BIG difference between the days I gave them to her and the days I didn't...now, some days we forget, and I usually don't notice until the next day when there is an extra pill.)

Good luck with your little one. :)

-M.

I haven't had the conversation with my child as a parent, but have been on the receiving end of it. You should be honest and open with your daughter about the medication. Tell her why she is taking it and the results you hope it will have. Don't use negative words like "wrong" or "fix" because that might cause fear, aggression and rebellion as she gets older. After you explain it to her, and she has had some time to think about it, ask HER questions about the purpose of the medication, does she have any questions, fear, concerns, etc.

Hello, I do not have a child with ADHD, but I was around children who had this in the classroom. I taught elementary school for 5 years so I know how it can affect children in the classroom. I am neither against or for medication because I know some children really need the medication, but it also seemed like some children are quickly prescribed medication when simple modifications in the classroom and in the home help. There is a connection between diet and ADHD that you might want to look into if you haven't already. Here is a website that might help: http://diet.lovetoknow.com/wiki/ADD/ADHD_Diet
Good luck with everything!

Hello,
I would be honest with her. If you are honest with her, she will trust you and she will be honest with you.

I wish you the best.

God bless.

My daughter is also 7 and has been taking focalin XL for about a year now. We call it her "smart pill". If your daughter is like mine, she had days when she would shine like the brightest star in class, but most of the time she just couldn't finish anything without the teacher's constant redirection. She was struggling with reading and writing. We worked with her teacher and other staff at the school to make every accomidation we could think of, to no avail. At the half way point of her first grade year, we were talking about keeping her back the following year. But those "shining star" days kept nagging at us. We knew that she just was not working to her potential. We found a doctor and she suggested we try meds. For us, the difference was dramatic and immediate. She was able to complete her work without redirection, she was able to advance 3 levels in reading in a few weeks and catch up in all other areas so she could advance to the second grade. She only takes her meds before she goes to school as it is an extended release med and on occasions when she needs to concentrate. She went all summer with no meds. I have to admit, I myself have ADD. I used medicine to help me through college. The new XR medicines they have now seem to be much less harsh and do not have to be taken as often. I feel all kinds of guilt that my daughter has to put up with this because of me, but people with ADHD do have special abilities, usually excelling in art and music. There is really nothing wrong with us, we just don't fit into the box that modern education requires of us. We have hightened attention, which was once a useful trait to our ancestors. Now we have to find ways to live with it when we are forced to do things like go to school, but when we have a choice, we can excell in fields where it is good to have a spry and flexible mind and the ability to multi task. Good luck.

I believe in the honesty track and focus on things that may frustrate her about her own ADHD behavior or symptoms! For example, if she has trouble in school because she can't focus then say something like "you know how you get frustrated when you want to finish a puzzle but you aren't able to do it? Well, this medicine will help you be able to focus" OR "do you notice how Sally is able to stay in her seat while the teacher gives directions and that you want to do that but sometimes you just CAN'T seem to make yourself do the things you want? This pill will help you be able to control that a little better". Also focus on the fact that pills and medicine don't fix EVERYTHING and that sometimes medicine doesn't work quickly but that she may notice some other things that can happen with this medicine (list basic side effects). It is really important for her to know that pills aren't magic but can help and that she may also notice some other things... if you have a family member who also has an illness that requires daily medication then they might also talk to her about what it is like to take medicine on a regular basis.

Good luck and many prayers for you and your family as you embark on this journey.
blessings,
stacy

Melinda,

I am a therapist and do some work with kids with ADHD. There are some good books on ADHD out there written for young people. One that I use is "Putting on the brakes: Young people's guide to understanding ADHD. That might help. I wish you the best!

S.

what kind of products do you use in your home? a lot of people have chemical sensitivities to cleaning products and body care stuff that can cause disturbances like ADHD. i know that sounds crazy, but its true. http://www. HeathySafeAndClean.com is a good website to see a list of common products with chemicals that can interfere with brain chemistry. You can also request more information, just put that you are looking for information on ADHD in the request and someone will call you to explain your options. We converted all of our stuff over to naturally based products in august and have noticed a huge difference. I buy all of our stuff from an online whole-sale club, so it is pretty inexpensive and works better then anything i have ever used. they also offer vitamins that can be used instead of medication to help with ADD or ADHD if you would want to try to vitamin route before medication. I have actually seen a huge list of testimonials on people who have used the vitamins on themselves or their children. i might even still have it somewhere! lol.

Dear Melinda,
I have a 9 year old son who has ADHD combined type along with Dyslexia and mood issues. I exlplained just like one of the other moms that his brain isn't producing enough chemical in order to slow his brain down so he can do things like all his friends but that he's extremely smart and the information is all in his brain he just needs the medicine to help him use the information already there the right way. Once he started meds while they were working wonderfully he started to excel in school. Things became easier for him and he could see that. The temper came out less and he saw that we had more time together and enjoyed each other more becasue he wasn't getting in trouble in shcool and taking forever to do his homework because he was spending half of it fighting with me to do it. Your daughter too will see the diffrences and I thnk thats what makes them understand. Like one mom said be honest with her you'd be suprised how much children even at that age understand.

Please look into diet modifications, I've read so many places that it can be completely controlled with diet, (omega-3 works wonders for ADHD) and you can possibly skip the drugs and their side-effects.

One of my granddaughters' and 2 of my grandsons all have ADHD, and I can remember my daughters telling them it was to help them to understand and do their schoolwwork better. I don't know how your daughter is having to take it, but one of my grandsons' has to take it during school to help with his concentraction only. The other grandson and my granddaughter have major personality and attitude issues when they don't take it, and also my granddaughter also has OCD (obsessive, compulsive, disorder) so she has a double whammy. But the meds help. So here it is being taken for two different reasons. I am sure she will understand why and just explain to her in her own terms why. I talked to my daughter and she said she just explained to her that it was to help her to focus and concentrate in school, and around her home too. And it has helped her..

My son is 8, and has been doing much better at school since starting medication last month, although we're having trouble with the side effects- lack of appetite and stomach aches.
I asked him what he would tell other kids about taking the medicine, and he says that it helps slow his brain down so he can do good at school and not get sent to the principal's office all the time.

I reminded my son of the dr. that we went to to have the test done. I explained to him (and by the way he will be 7 in April and my conversation with him was October of 09) that all of us are born with chemicals in our brain that help us do day to day things like eating, playing video games, putting on our clothes etc... I told him that some times our body doesn't make enough of certain chemicals and so we have to put those chemicals in them like vitamins when we don't make enough or eat enough food to have the right balance of vitamins in our bodies- then we take a vitamin. I told him that the dr. that tested him told us that his body like lots of others including mommies didn't make enough focus chemicals and so he was going to start taking a focus pill everyday (by the way I started taking one too but not until dec.) (this is the first time I have ever been on them and wow!) He was ok with it and that all there was to it. Good Luck!

Our daughter was diagnosed with ADHD innatentive type and ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) when she was almost 8. We finally decided to try the medication before the beginning of this school year. We just sat her down, reminded her about the Doctor she saw the year before and the tests she took, and explained to her that the medicine would help her focus. We call them her "focus pills". She seemed to be pacified by this explanation and doesn't seem to be bothered by taking it or feeling ashamed or different than her peers. She takes it at home in the mornings and we put it in a little cup on her dresser with a cup of water so she can take it while getting dressed in the privacy of her own room (so it's not a full-family participation issue). If she sleeps over somewhere we discreetly explain the situation to the parent (or relative) so she's not embarrassed. When we have sleepovers at our house, she just tells the kids "it's my focus pill" and everyone seems to be OK with that. We thought about letting her fib to other people about the purpose of the pill but that would be teaching her to lie and/or hurt her self-esteem by thinking that there IS something wrong with her when there is not. Research shows that kids who are treated for ADHD at a younger age have a much less tendency to act out as teens and young adults and are far less likely to experiment with drugs,and erratic or dangerous behavior, so we didn't worry as much about her thinking that she can be "fixed" with a pill. If it helps at all, we've also seen a fantastic family therapist who has helped us address and cope with these issues. That might be an idea for your family too. I hope this helps and best of luck to you.