D.,
ADHD is a medical condition. If this were a disorder that involved her kidneys you would not think twice about medicating her. She has a problem with the neurotransmitters in her brain, because the brain cells do not actually touch, we depend on chemicals to carry our thoughts as electrical impulses across that tiny space called a synapse. If her brain does not produce enough of the neurotransmitter, or if the receptors for the neurotransmitter does not function properly, that person has ADHD and has trouble paying attention and keeping track of things. Think about how difficult it would be to live this way...remember the last time you got up to get something and forgot what it was? Imagine if this happened to you over and over and over again all day long. It impacts every part of their lives and causes secondary depression and anxiety. Untreated, she is much more likely to become the wrong kind of statistic, illiterate, drop out, or even worse; a suicide.
ADHD medications really are wonder drugs. Not all of them will work for your daughter, and having a good prescriber is essential, as is the continuation of therapy with the medical intervention. Medication alone is never the answer, but please do not fall into the trap of thinking that medications will make your daughter either a guinea pig or a zombie; that is just bunk. If you try a drug and it does not help her, it is not the right drug, and that does not make all drugs bad any more than if one chemotherapy drug did not work on a particular cancer, all chemo would be bad. Really, if you insert any other medical problem into the rehtoric you read about unfounded fear of appropriate medical intervention for ADHD, and it just sounds rediculous, but we tolerate it for ADHD.
Listen to your doctor, and try what they suggest. Your daughter will likely need more than a stimulant at this point, now that anxiety and depression are part of the picture. This complicates the medication picture, and it would have been much easier to be dealing with only the focus issue to begin with. As you work through the issues, please resist the temptation to call it all off because stimulant meds will increase her anxiety, and other issues that you will encounter now that she has multiple issues. She still needs the medicaiton, and you will find the right balance.
If I seem blunt, I intend to be. Kids with medical issues all deserve appropriate treatment, and I just don't see the difference between one organ system and another, other that we, as parents insert our desires, beleifs and feelings into the mix . Give you daughter the best that can be offered her, which includes medical intervention for a medical problem.
M.