Adoption - Birthmom Gift?

I think this is a great idea and how thoughtful you are to be putting so much thought into it. :) I saw a show on TV with an adoption situation and the adoptive mother got the Tiffany style heart bracelet for herself the birth-mom and one for the baby when she get's older (the baby was a girl). There was a special message engraved on the heart and they were all a matching set. I don't know how the birth father would feel about that but perhaps a nice photo of them with the baby in a personalized frame. You are all very lucky to have found each other.
Good Luck

I'm sorry. I must be really out of it.
I cannot imagine giving a gift to a birth mom. The seems weird to me.

This couple made a choice, it is a wonderful thing that they chose life. But I am trying to see how a gift works into the picture. I would hug them, wish them well, tell them you will be praying for their family and let everyone begin the process of moving forward.

We adopted twice and both times we gave a charm ID bracelet from Things Remembered with the baby's birth date on it but that was just for her. Not sure about her boyfriend and daughter.
Hang in there!
Best Regards,
C.

Eh, I have to throw my 2 cents in!! Be VERY VERY cautious on any gift to your birth mom! I'm not certain about CA law (I'm an attorney in TX), but TX law is extremely strict on anything being given or provided to a birthmother that is not an absolute necessity of the child. (i.e. can't even pay the electric bill for her, or buy maternity clothes, but you can pay for prenatals and Dr. visits). If you have an attorney or agency involved, please ask them where the line is drawn in CA law. Its a very sweet idea, but you wouldn't want to cross any legal boundries on such an important event in your family. Ask if maybe it would be better if its after-the-fact, like maybe wait until the 1st birthday?

I was in quite a different situation. We have raised my biological niece since 10 days old (she's my daughter for sure!!). My sister was very young, financially unstable and not ready to be a mom. We ended up buying her a used car and school tuition to get her on her feet. Good luck with everything!

My friend had a shower for the birth-mom. I realize, not every woman going through an adoption process will feel comfortable with this. The girl in my friends situation was happy about her daughter having a wonderful family and loved the idea of it. There was deserts, punch, had a company come in and do manicures, and people brought gifts. There were a lot of Target gift cards, visa gift-cards, housewares, etc.

We gave our son's birthmom a bracelet with his birthstone on it! We see her often but if that was not our situation my other idea was a bracelet or necklace with a locket for his picture that you send her and continue sending throughout his life.

Good luck and congratulations!!

I love the idea of a birthstone "something." How very kind & thoughtful of you. Unlike O. PP, I don't see anything "weird" about giving a gift to the woman who is giving you the gift of your life! Congratulations!

Congratulations! We bought our son's BM some comfy PJ's and slippers. She is also an avid reader, so we included some books. We also took a picture of the BM, BF, my husband and I a few weeks before our son was born. We had the picture framed and gave them that also. I also love the idea of a bracelet or necklace with the baby's birthstone. But, I would advise to buy/give that until after the paperwork has been signed. We were 99.9% positive that our adoption was a sure thing, but we still had to be cautious. This site also has some cute ideas:
http://www.heartonyourwrist.com/index.php

When we first bet the BM and BF, we gave them a gift from the Ghiradelli Outlet in San Leandro. It was a cable car filled with little chocolates. They loved it! What about something like that for their daughter?

Does the BF like sports? What about something to do with the Giants? No matter where they live, he will think of you guys when he sees/wears the Giants item.

I also can't believe that someone would consider a gift for them 'weird.' As an adoptive parent, I can't imagine not helping them out a bit and giving them small tokens to thank them for making my husband and I parents. If not for them, we would not be parents. The gave us the gift of a child and the gift of parenthood.

Best of luck! :)

We adopted our daughter from Japan last summer at 3 months old and the gift for the birth mother was something that we gave a lot of thought to. I searched for a long time to find a small, subtle piece of handmade jewelry that I thought was symbolic for the occasion, without being ostentatious.
After a lot of consideration, we went for a white gold dragonfly pendant on a white gold chain. She could wear it if she wished, and it wouldn't have an overly sentimental look to it, but of course the meaning was just for her. I heard through our agency contact that she really loved it-

Best of luck and good wishes to you on your new addition! How exciting!

Hi,
As a birth mom myself I think it's lovely to give a small gift of love and thanks. The birth stone ideas sound really nice and would be a special keepsake. My birth son's parents gave me a nightie/robe set and then his mom made a beautiful scrapbook with a personal poem and our little guy's footprints in the front. I've kept so many special photos and other mementos over the years in that book. I cherish all of the photos and other memorialbilia I've received over the years.
As for the person who thinks it's weird to give a gift...well, I just have to say that she clearly hasn't been touched in a positive way by open adoption. This is not something that you just "get over" and "move forward" from. You are creating a new blended family with this new little one and it sounds like you are starting off in a beautiful way. Many blessings to all of you!!

what about a james avery type charm bracelet?

I gave my kids' birthmoms the kind of heart-shaped necklace where you can put a picture inside and I put the newborn picture of the baby in it.

A few months later I sent them one of those things where you can make a hand and footprint in clay.