Advice for a Non-dog Person on How to Co-exist with One!

I don't understand "Hubby won't agree to any obedience classes." Completely baffled. There shouldn't be a "hubby won't agree" in this case - it NEEDS to be done. It's not a question ... it's a requirement!

It really sounds like it's ultimatum time (and I'm typically completely anti-ultimatums). If HE wanted it and promised to bathe it and brush it and whatnot and is now not following through, then it's time to renegotiate the situation - and the renegotiated compromise MUST have some teeth to it. You can't make a rule/aggreement unless there's a consequence for not following through.

Personally, I'm not a fan of outside dogs. They're pack animals and need their pack. They don't do well isolated.

Do you take the kids to the park? Do you have a dog park around you? Do you or can you take the kids on walks with the dog? Springer spaniels are notorious for being hyper and difficult. We got lucky with an incredibly sweet, calm, submissive one (though she's super-anxious). BUT, they're not typically huge dogs that can't be controlled on a leash.

As for the hair, take her to a groomer and ask them to shave her. It won't keep the hair away, but the hair will be shorter which should help some.

If your dog was trained you would barely have any of the issues that you mention and since you are the person who spends most time with the dog, unfortunately you need to be the person doing the training with her, even though she is not "yours".
Getting a puppy and then leaving her to run around and basically do what she wants is like having a baby and not parenting them. If your dog was a kid, she would be a spoiled brat, and a lonely one at that. She is getting into trouble left and right because that is the only time she can get attention from you and for dogs, as well as for kids, even negative attention is better than no attention at all.

The worst thing is that if you wait much longer to either train or rehome her the worse it will become and you will end up with a dog that is out of control and unadoptable. That may well be what happened to your DH's childhood dog. Then you are left with the choice of putting her down or letting her live out her years in a cage in the yard...

So, you will need to come to terms with what are the real options: a. you give the dog up ASAP. Rehome her while she is young and more easily adopted
b. assume the responsibility and train her. You might find that you actually do like dogs that are well trained, maybe working with her will even be fun.
c. do nothing and be annoyed with the dog and your husband for a couple more years...and let this wreak havoc on your marriage (not really an option).

Good luck.

Okay, being a pet owner is a really big responsibility. While I am a huge animal lover I totally get why you are not. Doesn't make you a bad person. Your husband on the other hand is really asking a lot of you by making you the sole care giver of the animal. However, in the end you are responsible since you caved and said yes. You knew what you were getting into this being the second time around. That said, you sound like you have a kind heart but it's time to stand firm with your husband and insist on obedience classes. It is not fair to you or the dog to deny proper training. You really have your hands full with the kids already and to have an untrained dog just adds to your stress, you don't deserve that. Hang in there mama, stand firm and remember to laugh, dirt goes away, the kids grow, life is short!

It's easier to take care of a house dog-the whole outdoor thing is just too difficult-the mud, the floors, the tub, etc. It's easier to walk the dog and control where they go. Dogs can be trained not to bark-at all-look into that. They can also be taught to go to their place-such as their own mat in the family room or their bed in the mudroom. Again training is key. They don't have to be treated like humans-just humanely. If you treat a dog like a human-it will treat you like a dog. Good luck!

Unless I saw dramatic improvement from Husband I would probably re-home the dog (provided I could be certain of a good home).

I sympathize with you...as I'm not a huge animal person. My kids however LOVE animals. I finally caved over the fall and let them get a kitten. Definitely not as much upkeep as a dog...thank goodness but still things I have to do I don't enjoy.

I don't have any advice I just wanted to say I understand what your feeling....just try to keep in mind many people have pets and their children crawl around their floors and everything is fine.

Or you can go the route of laying some rules down if your husband does not keep up with them look for a new owner. (My SIL did this)

Ina G. is on the money in everything she said. It isn't fair to any of you what has happened so far. I never was a fan of dogs in the house either, until we got ours. I had a roommate that had one, and I HATED it. It was gross and nasty and just ugh! But she never trained the dog. The dog was basically a big spoiled brat that had no rules.

Before we decided to get our dog we had lots of discussions. There were really 2 choices for us (and for most people, only they don't think them thru up front). Either a) keep the dog outside at all times forever. In which case the dog is dirty, stinky, starved for attention, and basically amounts to nothing more than one more chore; or b) keep the dog inside at all times (except for the bathroom) so that it is PART of the FAMILY, well trained, clean and well-mannered, and easy access to play with.
There really is no middle ground. If you put them outside "part of the time" the 'dirty' factor is RIGHT THERE and that leads to choice creep into option "a" (becoming a chore to deal with). Eventually, you will end up with choice "a".

So it is "A" or "B". The question is, which is it going to be. We went with B. Inside all the time (except for using the bathroom, and being outside WITH US playing or just hanging while we play or do yard work or whatever). It is fine. She can go long periods of time without a bath (yay--b/c that is kind of a pain and it can cause dry skin issues for her), she is well mannered, not starved for attention, knows her place in our pack, and a better "alert" system than anything I've ever encountered. We LOVE her. "I" love her. I don't mind (too much) the shed hair on the carpet--it vacuums up. She isn't allowed on the furniture, so that isn't an issue. She doesn't HAVE accidents in the house. Period. She did when she was very ill, but my kids do that.... She doesn't even throw up in the house---she goes to the door and keeps it down until she can get outside. (sorry if TMI).

You need to find her a better home or you need to step up and shoulder the responsibility your FAMILY signed up for. That includes your husband. YOU will likely be the one that NEEDS to do the training class with the dog. You are the one home with her the most. But your husband needs to pick up slack to allow you the time to do it. (including practicing it at home). And he needs to listen when you tell him the 'new way' to deal with the dog. The words, the tone, the hand motions, what they mean, how the dog is expected to respond... everything.
Read some training books to get an idea... and he needs to read them to. Yeah... it is something you and he would rather not do (obviously, or it would already have happened), but if you want your situation to change for the better, it has to be done.

And you might just surprise yourself how much you actually learn to like your dog, after you spend some time getting to know it. ;)

I bathe my chocolate lab once a week. Buddywash lavender. He's a double coated waterdog (aka produces a lot of oils), so if I don't want him and then everything else to smell like dog, I need to bathe him frequently. I also wash my tub once a week. So in the winter (summer bath is outside with the hose), he gets bathed on bathroom cleaning day. I could take him to a groomer once a week, but this saves me time & money.

Hubby agreed to baths. He's not doing them. So he can't complain about the groomer. Well, he can. But he can stop those visits by bathing her weekly and scrubbing the tub and bathroom floor weekly himself.

WHY ON EARTH does your husband have to "agree" to obedience classes??? That's like saying he doesn't agree to feeding her, or taking her to the vet. I mean, if it was a 3-6 month send-away hunting school that cost as much as a car... then yah, sure. But that's not what you're talking about. You're talking about a basic standard of care.

No training
No baths
No dog

That simple.

My advice is have hubby pay for pet training class at PetsMart for you and puppy. It's important that you be the one to do the class, because it trains the human as much as the dog. It could be a good bonding experience for the two of you. You will be happier with a well behaved dog that obeys you. Once the chaos part is over, you may even learn to love it.

I wouldn't give your husband the option of the obedience class I would just sign the dog up.

first of all i can guarantee u you will fall in love with the dog over time.. second they do calm down as they get older my dog was a nightmare for the first 2 years.. i would tell ur husband that your fine with the dog being in the house but if that what he wants he needs to make an effort to get the dog trained if not u want her outside.. sign him up for one of those classes that he can take her to.. you just need to constantly remind him that you arent the one who wanted the dog so why should u get stuck doing the hard part just let him know that ur in a give a take relationship.. u allowed the dog he should have to take care of it.. like u said its his dog

The mistake was in getting a puppy at the ages that your kids are at. I would never recommend getting a puppy when you have a 2 year old and an an infant in the house. As you already know, puppies are a ton of work and it's best to wait until the kids are old enough to not be a ton of work themselves. I generally recommend waiting until the youngest child is at least 5 years old before introducing a new puppy into the house.

If hubby won't agree to any obedience classes, or agree to keep her cleaner, clean up after her, etc., then he needs to hear your side of it, stop being selfish, and consider that maybe the dog would be better off in a different home. As far as grooming and bathing, you could always take her to a groomer and let them deal with the mess and clean-up instead of you. You can always revisit getting a dog when the kids are older. Then consider a breed that is not used for hunting, herding, work, etc. since they may not be as high-energy.

Another option would be doggy day care. You can drop her off, let her run around like crazy all day with other dogs, and then she gets more of the exercise she needs and is hopefully more worn out by the end of the day. But hubby also has to be willing to spend the money on doggy day care, training, grooming, etc. If he wants a dog, he needs to be one doing more to help take care of it. Otherwise, you can contact a breed rescue about trying to find another home for her.

We have a Poodle for the reasons you mentioned. They don't shed, they don't smell bad usually, they are house dogs. First off your dog probably knows she is not 'family' by the way you treat her. You sound like my mother. She would put a dog 'away' all the time and if you do that they are not a house dog. You need to teach the dog not to bark when the kids nap and let her stay out. Teach her not to get on the furniture. Our Poodle wears boots that you can buy at PetsMart or other pet stores and they keep the feet clean when it's muddy or wet. Other than that you don't sound like you will ever love dogs and especially this kind of dog. Keep telling your husband that you need to take the dog for training or try to let the dog be more a part of the family. Tell your husband he needs to be the one to clean the tub, etc. from the dog and see if he will agree to do certain jobs like that so you are not having to do that part at least. If not tell him you will keep the dog outside unless he's home.

Your husband picked a high energy dog. I am very much a dog person and I strongly believe in doing occasional obedience classes on a regular basis for the first 3-4 years of your dog's life. I also think dogs need good exercise every single day and this will make your dog much more mellow. We have 2 husky mutts and they get a walk daily. Plus they go running with me and xcountry skiing and run free on local trails. I take them with me often so they are not left at home alone for a lot of the time. They enjoy being in the car. Since your husband wants the dog and you do not, I believe he is the one who has to make the time to properly exercise this dog. We will even hook a dog to our bike and make them run run run if we did not have time to do some exercise that day. Why is your dog so muddy? Our dogs are so clean all the time...except in the spring when their feet get muddy if the trails are muddy. Is it because your yard is muddy? We just hose off their feet before they come in and then dry them with old towels. Anyway, I think it is totally unfair of your husband to want a dog but not to make time to do classes and daily exercise. He is what I would call a very bad dog owner. :(

Compromise possibly? Keep a dog gate up so that the dog has to stay in the kitchen. You take the dog to training classes without your husband.

I finally got rid of ALL carpeting. Yes, it made it a little harder for kids to crawl, but there are actually knee pads for babies. LOL! My kids did fine crawling on the hard floors without the pads. Hard floors are sooooooo much easier to keep clean!