Advice for a Son Who Will Not Go in the Potty

DO not force him. I have had 3 boys. 2 is too early for most boys. My last one was 4 when he was fully trained. A lot of kids show interest in the potty. Does not always mean they are ready for the potty. If you are patient and wait you will have a smoother transition. Also if you push you can cause psychological and emotional issues later.

He's not ready. Period. Most pediatricians say don't even push it with boys until they're 3. Chill out on the little guy. You don't want him to become scared or hesitant about it. Let him come to it on his own. Back off......

i have found with my 3 children, that if you leave them alone,they will do it when they are ready, not when we'er ready. and let some older children who are potty trained play with them, and they will say something to them when they have wet their pants. sometimes peer pressure can be a good thing to get the ball rolling in your favor. thats what happened to my second, a boy, just didn't want anything to do with the potty. so i left him alone, and while he was playing with a little girl, who was 4, my son was 2 1/2 at the time; he pooped and she kept on telling he smelled. and she went home because she didn't want to play with him anymore. he came right in and went to the bathroom. leave it to a girl. and then my daughter did the same thing with her cousin. except she was the one potty trained this time. she told her younger cousin that she smelled, and didn't want to play anymore. and her cousin told her mom that she had to go potty. so they will do it when they are ready. you really can't push them.

I agree with the mom saying relax and let it happen. Boys are not ready as soon as girls. My mother babysat for a boy who was two months older than my oldest son. His parents were sure he would potty train at a specific time and in three days tops. They pushed him so hard that he developed a great fear of using the toilet which persisted for a long time. My mother tried pushing my son just as hard-"we" were in competition-until I told her to back off. In the end they both were using the potty by 3 1/2. My younger son had little trouble, done on a couple weeks completely, even at night. I just waited until he was getting big for pullups and diapers, told him he had to do this or he would have to find his own pants, I couldn't find ones bigger. Of course his older brother helped me show him how since he was home alot with him. Sitting him on the toilet backwards was great, watching is so much fun and little spray all over the bathroom. Don't put cheerios in the toilet to pee through, they'll try doing it in their breakfast-one lesson I learned.....Relax, he'll be potty trained for kindergarten.

Hi Chris...I am the mother of 2 teenage boys but oh do I remember potty training! The best advice I ever received was from their pediatrician. She said don't push them...let them decided when they are ready. I let them decide each morning what they wanted to wear (diaper or underwear). If they chose underwear and had an accident I would put a diaper on them (they didn't see it as punishment as they were very stubborn). Also, boys don't potty train as soon as girls (also from the peditrician). My daughter was completely done by 2 1/2, oldest son by 3-3 1/2, and youngest son by almost 4 (he was VERY stubborn). One other bit of advice....if you use the "big potty", set them on backwards. They have a better sense of security and no mess from it shooting out between the seat and rim. My sons loved it and weren't afraid to sit down on the potty for #2 since they were already used to sitting there. Hope this helps and good luck!

Maybe he is just not ready...

For my boys I introduced the potty minimally and followed their signs, one was potty trained @ 22mos, then regressed with a new baby, but JC self initiated potty training @26 mos. He was quite *stubborn* acting before about even sitting on it, I said here is a potty do you want to sit on it and he would absolutely refuse, I was in the process of moving so did not want to *try* yet and one night before bed he jsut said I have to pee in the potty and he has been going since..

But... What I did for both of them (once we got settled back in our home was basically no bottoms, 2 days at home, so that he understands and feels every single time you pee you go to the potty. Then I had to spend sometime working with underwear -- or cloth training pants. For me pull ups are a good introduction to *pulling up and down* and that is it otherwise it is just like a diaper and gives them that sense. So I would suggest perhaps chill out for a bit and still have the potty around and talk a little like *look mommy is going to the potty because I have to pee*. Then when you both are ready I would throw out the diapers and pullups and go at it full force.

Hope that helps.

We had a potty chair (free standing that was in the main bathroom) and a potty seat (one that fit over the toilet seat) for the bathroom at the other end of the house. The nice thing about the potty seat was there was a belt that went around the child and they couldn't just bounce up/off and walk away. They needed help to get the belt off and get down. It helps to put them on the seat, turn the water on (the sound of running water will cause some of us to have to go to the bathroom while we are doing the dishes). We also used to play a few games of patty cake, sang the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song, and sometimes read a very short book while we waited for the child to go. If they went there was a lot of praise and a treat. Like a couple of Skittles (my sister-in-law's reward), a cookie (my brother's reward), or a star on the calendar (my reward system) and after 5 stars there was a special treat, after 10 a bigger one and after 20 they got to pick out a toy at the dollar store.
There is also the race game my husband used to play with my son and then my grandson. He would announce he had to go to the bathroom in a loud whisper to the child and they would go to the bathroom and race to see who could go first and fastest. Sounds dumb but the boys loved it, daddy/grandpa always lost which meant a special horsey back ride and the faked embarrassment when the child announced to the room at large they had a race and the child had won!
And yes, there is bribery, like with the pull-ups. You can't wear them if you potty in them, they are for big boys to make it easier for them to go to the bathroom.

I say let him run around naked from the waist down and put a little potty in the room he plays most. Each time he has an accident firmly tell him "No, on the potty." Then carry him over to it and sit him on it. Don't make him feel like he's in trouble, just be firm that this is what is supposed to happen. Some kids do well with a little push and some will rebel - I had one of each. For the oldest, I had to praise him and encourage him for it to work. The second I found he did better without a lot of hoopla. Good luck! And for people who say it's too early, my older son was mostly trained by 2 1/2 (completely done at 3) and my younger son was done at 26 months. It can be done.

I say leave him alone. Follow his lead. If he comes and asks you to change him, praise him for noticing-change him-then move on. He will get it. Maybe just not when you or others think that he should. My son did the same thing. I would move his potty chair out and he would sit on it and watch a video. There would be pee in the potty, but only because he had held it for so long that he leaked a little. However, when we moved to a new apartment when he was 3 1/2, it only took 3 days and he was done. I simply told him everytime that I changed him that I wasn't buying anymore diapers after those. When I finally ran out, we had 3 days of accidents and he was done. He did wear a diaper overnight for several months after that, but he was good during the day.
It isn't like there is a window that opens and they understand, but if as parents we miss that window then it closes. Once they get it, they get it. Follow his lead and it will happen.
Good luck.

Hi,

We had trouble with our 2 yo and so we started looking into potty training in short time spans online. We found potty training in one day - pottypatty.com and it has been WONDERFUL! We were trying on our own and our little one wouldn't sit on the potty either. Using this system she is now potty trained and we are so happy. One week from the training day she had three days with zero accidents and her worst day was 2 accidents. Before that it was like every other time was an accident. We used pottypatty.com for our little girl, but they make potty scotty too. The website for that is pottyscotty.com

Hope this helps!
L.

I followed the "Toilet Training in one day" by azin and foxx. You have to decide to potty train your child and stick with it. No going back and forth between pull-up and big boy pants. The method really works. Also if your son makes a mess he has to clean it up. You must supervise and make sure he does it right. You also need to make sure you give him the tools to succeed. Clothes that he can get off and on easily by him self. Lots of praise when he succeeds.

My oldest son is extremely stubborn and we have daily arguements; he's 13. But he was 4 when we finally were able to get him trained. The only way I got him to go was; "Please don't think I am weird", but I let him run around naked and when his winky would start to rise I would bring that to his attention and tell him that that is his bodies way of saying he has to pee. And I would make a really big deal and see which one of us would make it to the bathroom first. That got him more interested because he could "see" that he could go and then it was fun because we would race. It didn't take long after that. Aiming was a differant story. I was constantly cleaning the bathroom. However, once I put Cheerio's into the toilet and told him to try and sink the O's he quit missing so much. Hope this helps.

Hi Chris, when his mind and body mature he 'will' potty without any pushing from anyone else. My oldest son said one time 'let me be myself'. Of course it wasn't over potty training but it could mean the same for your son. Pushing him will only wear you out and agitate him. Good Luck and hang in there 'it will happen in his own time'.

Check out 1-day and 3-day methods from your library. There are books and/or videos to help. Consistency is the key no going back and forth between training pants and diapers/pull-ups.

Try setting your kitchen timmer for about 20 minutes.Then start singing"It's potty time!,It's potty time!".And take him.It sounds kind of silly,but keep it up.It woked for me.Also maybe he would rather stand to pee.Beleive me,you'll think that you can't get anything else done,when doing this,but you'll be suprised at how long 20 minutes really is.
R.