K.W.
Hi R.! It seems sleep issues are always present on the list of threads here at mamasource. I responded to another poster about sleep issues, and I just copied and pasted it below for you to read...whatever doesn't pertain to your OP, just ignore, but perhaps there's something in there that might spark some interst or ideas!
Best of luck!
"<snip>...Your boy is still *so* little! He is reaching out to your for closeness and connection, just what he needs at his age. I would highly recommend co-sleeping, with no pressure on him whatsoever to move out of your bed until *he* is ready. If that really crosses boundaries you have, then I suggest figuring out what your needs are, what his needs are, what the boundaries are (and why they are there, and if you are willing to change them), and try thinking outside the box to find a solution that works for everyone. If you choose to co-sleep, he will find the comfort and nurturing that he needs by being close to you, touching your skin, feeling your warm breath, listening to your heart beat, and you will be able to stay put and get some rest.
We live in a culture that seems to place more importance on growing up and moving on, setting limits, keeping children "in their place", maintaining "authority", than it does on being present with our children right where they are, right now, and honoring the inherent wisdom they bring into the world. He won't be little for long, and before you know it, he will be asserting his independence more and more. It's up to you to fill his cup with all of the comfort, connection, love and joy he needs to feel whole and well when it is time for him to go forth on his own.
My advice is to find ways to meet your needs of getting more rest, while also meeting his needs of closeness and security. His need to be near you during the night is so normal and natural at this age. It's only a fight if *you* fight it. Remember that each child is different, there is no one *right* way to do this. The right way for you is the way that works for your family, that feels good to *ALL* of you (not what 'experts' or society tells you is 'right').
Work with the flow, not against it. I shudder to think of placing barriers between a mother and her child, when he is clearly showing you what he needs. The more barriers you put up now, the harder to break them down later.
You talked about war in your post. We shouldn't be at war with our little ones! We should be looking for ways to meet our children where they are, not expect them to be on a schedule that is outside of their abilities and needs. There are ways to meet everyone's needs that work for all, that bring joy and love into our hearts. It may take some creative thinking, but it is possible! There can be no joy in war! Open to him as a flower opens to the sun. Trust your heart, and trust in his wisdom. Blessings and best wishes!"
