Ok my favorite mamas, I need some advice from those of you with larger families.
My husband and I currently have 3 children - 9-year-old twin boys and a 2 1/2 year old daughter. To make a very long story very short, we tried to get pregnant before turning to adoption and then wound up adopting them all in the same year. We're now ready to add to our family again and have decided to try getting pregnant again, hoping to have a new little person by the end of 2012. We will be using clomid to increase our chances, which means that we might be adding more than one little person.
We recently decided to participate in the State Department's Au Pair program and will be hosting a lovely young woman from Germany for the next year, who will be our primary babysitter (and hopefully continuing to host an au pair every year for several years). The dilemma comes in that we need to buy another car for her to drive. We currently have an 8-seat minivan and a 7-seat mid-size SUV and have limited funds to buy this third car. We would like to buy another large car so that we can fit the whole family in every car we own, even when we add a baby (or two), but I've gone to look at a few "large" cars in our price range and they simply don't seem to have enough space. In one I looked at this evening, our boys would not be allowed to have legs if they sat in the 3rd row! (and they are only going to get taller...) We also don't want to buy a car now that we wind up selling next year for something larger when we bring home a baby...
So here are the questions: For those of you who have 4+ kids, what kinds of cars/minivans/SUVs do you have? If you have more than one car, do you have one big vehicle and one smaller car that doesn't fit everyone or do your cars all fit everyone? What do you do if you have 2+ in carseats and not everyone fits in one car - how do you decide whose carseats go where?
If you can't tell, I'm a planner by nature and I'm having trouble figuring this one out. Thanks for all of your help!
[Please only helpful comments. Yes, we have decided to have a large family. Yes, we have thought through the risks of multiples in using clomid. No, we're not going to go crazy if we don't get pregnant; we'll add to our family through adoption again.]
Thank you all for your stories and answers. They are incredibly positive and helpful. We decided to go the small "commuter" car route and located a used VW Jetta nearby at a reasonable price. Since our other 2 vehicles have names, our only remaining difficulty is naming it... ;)
I only have two but my Toyota Sienna is a DREAM! It has plenty of room and latches for up to six car/booster seats with a lot if trunk space left over! It drives like a sedan. I'm almost ashamed to love a minivan this much!
I only have 2 kids, but can tell you what friends and family with 4+ kids do.
One of DH's cousins has 4 kids and a Honda Odyssey (older version, around 2002 or so). They have one car that fits everyone and cousin's commuter car (sedan) doesn't fit everyone so all family drives are done in the Odyssey. Another cousin has 5 kids and a newer (2009 or so) Honda Odyssey - again, just one car that fits everyone and used for all family outings, other car is commuter sedan.
Another family at DDs school has 4 kids and a 2007 Honda Odyssey (hmm, seems like a pattern here LOL) - youngest 3 are in car seats. Again, other car is a sedan that doesn't fit everyone.
One family at church has 6 kids and for a long time drove a Ford Expedition but recently switched to a Honda Pilot, but her kids are older and a couple of them are driving on their own now so they rarely have to fit the whole family into one car. Another family with 4 kids has a Chevy Tahoe - again only one car that fits the whole family, husband drives a company truck.
A family in my parents of multiples club has 5 kids (triplets in car seats and two older boys who aren't in car seats) and a Toyota Sienna (2007 or so), again, this is their only car that fits the entire family.
Hope that helps!
My friend with 6 kids has an extended van that seats 14 then a smaller mini van and a small sedan type. The mini van can seat 7.
When they come to church they use the big van, but usually it's just her and a couple of the kids, she drives the minivan.
I drive a fullsize conversion van. It seats 7 but gets terrible gas mileage. I love my van though. I can't lose it in a parking lot.
We also have a Prius, my hubby drives that to work. It can only fit 5. But we only have three at home. I would buy another, it gets 50 mpg.
I only have 2 kids, but I worked in college campus ministry for several years, planning retreats and other outings, and rented vehicles. I think you'll need to get a full-size van. A regular full-size van is an 8 passenger, but there are also 11 passenger and 15 passenger. Honestly, it sounds like you might want to look at an 11 passenger.
One church I worked for looked into purchasing used vans from a rental agency. They keep their vans in excellent condition and usually sell them after 2 or 3 years. Also, they usually rent to churches and schools who use them to take a trip, so they have lots of highway miles.
I really think you need to forget about getting a car, minivan or suv unless you plan on taking 2 vehicles everywhere you go. They are simply not made to carry that many passengers.
Good luck with your plans! Bless your heart for wanting to love so many kids. I don't think you should ever apologize for wanting a big family. As long as there are food, clothes and plenty of love to go around, you have nothing to apologize for!
Congrats on your family! Going from 0 to 3 must have been quite a trip!
We have 4 kids and 2 cars. One is a Honda Odyssey, which I love, love, love. The other is a sedan that seats 5. We are lucky in that if the minivan goes to the shop, we can usually borrow my FIL's car so that if we all have to be somewhere together, we can get there in 2 cars.
I think that because you already have 2 vehicles that can seat your current family + another adult + another child, you could get away with a smaller 3rd car. Your au pair could drive the mini van while she watches the kids and you or your husband could take the smaller car to work or to run errands or whatever. I can't imagine a scenario in which you would all need to be driving a full car load at the same time, kwim? And even if one car goes into the shop, you'll still have another car that can carry everyone.
Hope that helps, and good luck!
My two friends with large families (four and five kids) have mini-vans to seat the entire family and then sedans for the adult who's not watching kids at that moment. We did something similar when we had a nanny. We had three cars, but only two had car seats. My husband was the least likely to need to drive our kids during the day, so he took the car without car seats. The nanny got the "best" car while she was watching our girls and I had the third car - with car seats. When the nanny went off duty, we swapped cars so I had the best (safest, most comfortable, etc.) and she drove the other one. But if we didn't have time to swap cars, we were both covered because we had car seats.
Since you already have two larger vehicles, I wouldn't think you need a third large one. Because like another poster said, you're probably not going to be in a situation where all three of you will be driving kids or trading off during the day. The au pair can have the mini van during the week and the non-kid car on the weekends, assuming she's on duty mostly during the week. It requires the shuffling of keys and water bottles, but it's really do-able and opens up your car possibilities a lot.
We have four kids, going on five in about eight weeks! For our four, we have a Honda Odyssey. I have NO idea how we're going to fit all five kids in it since they are all in car seats still (ah!).
Our other car is a Honda CRV. It does not fit all the kids. To be honest, I think you can save money by not having every car fit everyone. Growing up in a family of eight kids, there was only one vehicle (out of 2-3 of them) that fit all of us. It would save on gas if you bought a smaller car instead of a big one and would probably be less expensive of a purchase. But I know you know the details of your situation much better than me, so perhaps there is more behind wanting every car to fit all kids:-)
I think it's great you have three and are wanting to add to your family! Large families are awesome:-) Best wishes with the (hopefully) upcoming pregnancy!
We have a ford flex (7). Don't like the outside but love the inside. I have sat in the third row and didn't feel squeezed.
I don't know if this answer will help you, because it might depend on your kids' sizes and ages. My sister has 5 kids--ages 12 (very small for her age), 10, 8, 6, and 2. She drives a Honda Odyssey, and has no problem fitting all the kids, plus mom and dad. I believe she has 3 kids in the back seat, and then 2 kids in each of the captains style chairs in the 2nd row. Her husband drives a Subaru, which does not fit all the family. When it's just a few kids who need to be shuttled, he can take them, and usually only does so when it's the older ones, whose booster seats can be easily transferred from one car to the next. My sister did have an au pair, when she had four kids, and the au pair would drive the minivan when it was available, but she did not have her own car as far as I can remember. She is talking about getting another au pair, but was saying that she would need to get the au pair a car--all but the baby will be in school all day this fall, so I don't think the car would need to be very big, as chances are small that the au pair would have to shuttle all 5 kids at once. Don't know if any of this helps you, but good luck!
Oh my, what a funny post. We have 6 kids. I drive a Yukon that seats 8. I felt like we needed at least one car that could hold all of us. We have a suburban that seats 7 that we call the locker room on wheels. Then my husband has a small car. I don't see why all your cars have to be able to hold all of you.
