16 years ago when I was a minor I entered into an open adoption with my step parents. The agreement was that I would be an intregal part of my babys life & my baby would know me as a sister until the appropriate time. At 5 years old my child was told who I really was & we have since continued a sibling relationship.
Flash forward to present time: I am the second oldest of 9 children. There are two children still at home; the 16 year old child I gave them & my step parents 16 year old child (My step mom was pregnant at the same time I was). My step parents & I are in a disagreement & whenever my step parents don't get their way they "punish" me by cutting off all communication my husband & I have with those children. I got to thinking last night & while it is up to them to keep their 16 year old away from me I'm wondering; is it ok to keep the child I gave up for adoption away from me also considering it's an 'open adoption'?
Problem here is, I have no access to the adoption papers. Beyond signing them I've never seen them since. Being a child at the time, I never thought to ask for them when I left home 13 years ago. Now that my step parents & I are in a disagreement it doesn't seem like the right time to ask for them unless I'd like to make them feel threatened.
Does anyone have any advice or knowledge on this type of situation?
Usually even if an adoption is "open," it is still up to the adopting parents to decide when and how much interaction there is between the mother and child... But I definitely think you should still try to get a copy of the papers and see how you can mediate the situation, especially because they're hurting the kids at the same time they're hurting you.
ask them for a copy of the papers. that way you are not going behind their back and they know. for all you know it may not have been a legal adoption, just some paper they wrote up for you to sign. if they refuse to give it to you then they have something to hide. be prepared to go to court over this. also if your daughter is 16 she can chose to go live with you and avoid all that visitationcrap. that is, if youre prepared to accept that. they no longer have to give her permission to see you.
there has to be a legal copy where ever the adoption was filed. your able to recieve a copy. also i would consider gettinga lawyer and fight for visitation rights. have it all done leagally that way when ever they get mad and decide to punish you, you will still have legals visitation rights.
There are some avenues I can suggest. Firstly, you can contact the State Bar http://www.azbar.org/ where you can solicit for free legal advice. The adoption records are yours to have - and should be part of a public record. You will just have to ask a clerk in the court where the adoption was filed - for some advice. The State Bar is a great place to start!
Also, a link about open adoption: http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_openadopt.cfm
Adoption Resource:
http://www.adoptionconnection.org/homepage1.asp
Best of luck!!
C.
I don't know anything about open adoption but you should be able to get a copy of the paperwork and be able to see your child. Can you choose to adopt your child back? Your adoptive parents can't punish you anymore since you are not a child and you have to fight for what you want and deserve.
