Advice on 2Nd Child

Although my kids are all farther apart, I can tell you some things that may help.
#1. When he comes to meet baby after baby arrives. Make sure you are not holding baby...That leaves your lap open for him and someone else should introduce them... (My boy wouldn't even sit on my lap at the hospital... Weird place and weird clothes. He would only go to his uncle that was spending the day with him aka baby sitting. Don't force it.)
#2. When you go home. Someone else carry baby... That leaves your arms open to grab him in big hugs.
#3. Get him a baby doll. (I know his daddy may say something about that, but I found with our #2 (first boy, ) he'd find one of his big sisters dollys and "pretend he was taking care of it" when I had #3 in arms. Buy a fake baby bottle the kind with the dissappearing liquid stuff to go with the baby. Give him a diaper to put on the baby doll. Teach him to treat the baby as you do YOUR baby... NO hitting it. NO throwing it... etc. Do not be suprized if you are nursing to find him with the dolly under his shirt. Its how kids play. They copy what they see. I always told my boy while I nursed baby, that some babys drink mommy milk, some drink from a bottle...
#4. I agree with not leaving them in a room alone. I set up several different places in the house that I had out fits for both, diapers, wipes, etc. That way no matter where I was if I needed to, I could change baby, or big brother without having to traipse up and down stairs... (also a saver in the first few weeks after delivery)
#5. Make sure you devote one on one time with big brother. A lot of issues are because of a feeling of lacking the attention.
#6, DO NOT CALL HIM YOUR BABY ANYMORE!!! Only refer to him as a BIG BROTHER, Big boy, Little man, etc. Start before the baby comes out. If he agrees, I'm the big boy, thats the baby, there won't be as much tug of war.
#7. Get him a couple new things. But don't give them to him yet... Wait till his baby comes home and give him a present from the baby... That gives him something to do while you feed the baby. Pop out a new " big boy "toy every couple days for the first week or so till he gets accustom to you having to sit down WITHOUT him on your lap. Keeps his mind and hands busy for at least a few minutes...
GOOD LUCK!!!! And congrats!!!

I'm sure sure how helpful this will be... I had my second in October, my first turned 4 in March. He was old enough to understand I had to care for the baby and was a "super helper" running to get diapers, etc (I had a c-section and wasn't suppossed to be up and down the stairs). That being said, having 2 children (I also work full time) is wonderful and is 100 times more work than having 1 child. With 2 that small my advice is be as organized as possible. I have bottles ready for "baby school" the night before. Everything my son needs (the 4 year old) is in his bag by the door. Shoes are by the door. Clothes are laid out the night before. As soon as we get home at night bottles are put in the dishwasher, etc. Get a routine (it will take about 3-4 mos to do so) and stick to it.

If you can afford it, get a cleaning lady. That is a huge lifesaver. I am a clean freak. So knowing that someone is coming every 2 weeks allows me a ease up a bit on the cleaning.

I also use baskets to help consolidate the clutter. I have a basket with diapers, wipes, bibs, burb cloths for the baby and a basket with baby toys and a basket that my son can keep 3-4 toys in at a time in the family room (as oppossed to the basement playroom which is a free for all). I also kept a basket with nursing stuff, lanolin, my chapstick, water, etc. when I was nursing.

Good luck!!!

I am a mother of 3 spectacular children 8/3/2 and a Child Care Provider. My two youngest are 13 months apart. I am blessed with having those two so close in age. They have grown so much together and teach each other so many things. I wouldn't have it any other way. There are great books out there for "Being a Big Sister or Brother" and just talking alot to your child- explaining that he/she will be having another baby around. Try using a doll and pretend that is the new baby. Explain that just because there is another baby you won't love that child any less. You have a big heart that goes a long way and is full of love. Let the child hold the baby when it is born and help you out by getting diapers, feeding etc. That is a HUGE hit..

my kids are 18 months apart. I quit my job to stay hme after the second child was born. I hired a lady to help me for the first 6 weeks. That is my advice .. Either hire help or hopefully you have grandmas that can help you. The morning and evening was the hardest. Getting both kids up and fed and dressed and then in the evening dressed into pajamas and into bed.

you have to be very organized.. keep diapers adn extra clothes near where you are all day.. you cant leave the baby and toddler alone together while you run upstairs to get a new outfit for someone.

Dont plan on gettin any housework done those first few months.. Most likely they will not sleep at the same time.. and if they do.. you should take a well deserved nap also.

I have a vivid memory of having the toddler in the bathtub... my husband was mowing the grass and the baby wanted to nurse.. so I am sitting in the bathroom nursing the baby and watching the toddler,, and then the phone rang... calgon take me a way...

It does get easier.. my kids are now 27 months and 9 months.. and being at home with them is no problem.. Taking them places by myself is still challenging.

And the 5 pm dinner time is still rough some days.. I think that will get easier as the baby transitions to table foods..

My children were 20 months apart, the second being 6 weeks early and I was in hospital for 10 days and she was in the hospital for 10 days after I left while we were moving. UGH! 6 years later it's easy to laugh, but it was challenging at the time. The best advice I got from my pediatrician was to not notice minor things the older was doing SOME of the time. Give big brother lots of one on one when baby's sleeping. I remember panicking when the reinforcements (grandmas) left and I had to handle them together. I would put the big bro down for a nap or quiet time whenever lil sis woke up:). As I gained confidence I was able to adjust everyone's schedules. Whatever works at first! My other advice is take LOTS of pictures. You will not remember much of the first year. BTW-they've gotten along great being so close. I'm so glad they're this close in age!

A regular schedule is the best way to weather this. It will be hard to get down pat, and will always change but as long as you start planning now you should have a regular schedule down by the time your new baby is six years old...maybe twelve. :) Joking aside...the better and more consistent the schedule the easier this will be.

BTW- I have a baby boy as well, he is about to turn one.

My boys are 15 mo apart. And honestly - it's not that bad. I was a bit panicked in the beginning - but I totally forgot that newborns sleep. A LOT! So that was a nice grace period. W/ my first I always grabbed him when he started to cry. With the second I had to learn it's ok to cry for a few minutes. Also if they both need you try to tend to the older one first. He's the one who will feel slighted if you don't. And involve the oldest in everything you can with taking care of the baby. It's an amazing thing having kids so close. My boys are 3 and 4 and best friends. We started trying for our 3rd when they would have been 16 mo apart. And again for our 4th at the same age. It's a lot of work but I wouldn't change it for the world!

My sons were 19 months apart. Try to include your older child when getting baby dressed, changed, fed. I had my older son hold his brother's feet while I breast fed the baby. He would hold a book and we would read it together.
I did what had to be done in the house (Dishes, laundry) didn't worry about making the bed. If toys were left on the floor, oh well. My wonderful grandma called that clean dirt. I did get into a routine after about 3-4 weeks. Children know when they are loved and that's all that matters.
Best wishes,
D.