Advice on Bedtime Feeding

Hello KF,
I wouldn't take a little milk away at just a year if he wanted it before brushing teeth, but if he is declining the milk, I absolutely wouldn't push it. At a year, they really don't need before bed milk and by his not wanting it, you aren't starting a habit that is hard to break later. Good luck!

I think your son is making it easy for you. Cut the milk from bedtime, and you'll have a easier time when it comes to night time potty training. Seriously, after a year there isn't a night time diaper that can hold all that milk... The routine sounds great to me. Try to keep the extended hugs and cuttles. I know it's sad to us when our babies are no longer dependant on us for things from one day to next. Just think that you are bringing up a healthy and independant individual, and there are plenty other things he'll need from you, including lots of hugs and kisses. I hope you can appreciate his independance, and gain joy instead. They grow up so fast.

Awww,, big huggggs >>> my son did the same thing to me when he was 8 months old! It was a hard time, I was a bit sad because I wasn't ready to wean yet. I took comfort in how well adjusted he was and they say it's a sign of a secure baby. Big transitions don't phase them to an extreme because they know you're there for them no matter what, that's a good thing. I would take it as a sign that you are giving him exactly what he needs in every area of his life!

I would go with the routine thats working now. It doesn't matter how much milk they actually drink, it only matters truly how much 'dairy' they get, that incorporates yogurts, cheeses, etc. And technically that doesn't even matter - think of all the children that are dairy allergic, they grow up happy and healthy. As long as he is growing properly, you're all set. The best thing we can do as moms I feel is follow their lead if that bedtime routine is working happily go with it. And it's so beautiful that he hugged you longer! So often I've heard that babies resist major changes because they fear losing the special time with you. It's great that he realizes the two are independent of each other.

Don't start it, KF...In another year or so when you're trying to potty train, you'll be glad he isn't taking in that extra fluid at bedtime.

What a good little boy he is!
J.
PS...My daughter quit nursing at 11 months on April 7th - DEVASTATING to me! I still miss it dearly, I loved it...you aren't alone!

I know your pain. My son turned up his (cute) little nose to breast feeding at 6 months. He just wasn't interested in it. But he is a healthy thriving 22 month old now. You can keep trying to offer the breast but let him decide/ refuse. He may be ready to move on. I know this is hard because you feel rejected and it is a special thing that only you to share but That bond never breaks. Your bound by love.

I have a 20 month old son and I know what you are going through. When my son was 6 months, I developed a really bad ear infection and had to take some killer antibiotics. No one was sure about whether or not the drug would harm my son through breastmilk. I decided to pump and dump my milk for the entire 10 days I had to be on the medicine. But by the time I was done, my son was done breastfeeding. He had gotten used to the formula. (I had some but not enough breastmilk frozen in bottles.) I guess it was more filling and therefore satisfying for him. He had no patience for the small amount of milk that came from me after 10 days of just pumping.
Boy did I cry and cry. I felt useless. Its almost like you are the only person who can give your baby this awesome food and then boom, your baby no longer needs you.
But rest assured, your baby will continue to need you in so many different ways. You will still be feeding your child, bathing your child, playing with your child and comforting him. A whole year of breastfeeding is wonderful. You will now have such a great bond that will last forever.
As far as the sippy cup before bed; he doesn't need it.He is well-adjusted and happy. Great! If you are worried about getting him the milk he needs, offer him a cup somewhere else throughout the day. Give him milk instead of whatever else he drinks, say juice, during lunch or after playing. But I wouldn't worry about it. Chances are that he is making the right decisions for his needs, as long as the right things are offered. You're doing a great job.

My son too is not a real milk drinker, I supplement with yogurt and broccoli along with him eating regular food. Actually my son is going on 11 months and still does not want to get off the breast. I actually am down to feeding him at afternoon and night. I would stay with the routine...I know its sad but he growing up! if that is any consolation. the bedtime sippy hmmm....have u tried a straw cup...I use this one with mine and it seems to work well and is more safer for oral development...since he is 12 months

My one son did the same thing at 12 months. I tried to get him to nurse or drink from a cup before bed (as his twin brother was still happily nursing before bed) and it was a DISASTER. He would totally freak and get all wound up and then wouldn't get to sleep. I asked my pediatrician about it and she said to leave the poor boy alone and let him go to bed! :-) Also, you should be brushing his teeth before he goes to sleep (or wiping the gums if he doesn't have teeth yet) so I would advise against anything but water in a cup before bedtime if he wants it. Good luck!

KF,

If he will go to bed with nothing and is getting as much as you can give him during the day, I would continue with that routine. If he wants something at bedtime or to take to bed, I would only give him water as the sugar in milk can rot his teeth if it sits overnight.

As far as the sadness with letting go of nursing, it will get better. I know - I did it three times. You have to remember that though he doesn't need you for milk, he still needs you for love, attention, direction, affirmation, nutrition........Shall I go on? :-)

Good luck!!

K.

Hi K F,

I think you are supplementing enough with the yogurt, cheese and etc... I would not push him to drink the milk. Also its better this way, you don't have to wean him off drinks before bed. This way when trying to get the diapers off at night it will work out better for you in the end. I think he is fine. You could ask your doctor about the milk he you are really worried about it. Good Luck! :)

Hi KF,

The routine sounds fine to me. My son was the same way he just did not care for milk that much. He is 14 now and he still does not drink much milk. Since you are giving him diary products for his daily calcium intake, I don't think milk at night is what he wants or even needs. Children's likes and dislikes change very often. One day they like eggs the next few weeks they don't like eggs (who knows why).

Maybe water in the sippy cup at night would be ok. No juice because the sugar in it will keep him awake.

Enjoy the your son.

Hi!
The advice that I give is to listen to your child. If the routine that you are doing works, and he is not waking up during the night, then continue.
I'm more concerned about you. Your son is moving on into the next step of development, and you are not. You want to keep him the infant he was, depending on you. Well, guess what. They always depend on you growing up; it's just that the strategy changes contantly. It's a lesson you learn now and keep it with you. Listen, and then react; there is no greater clue. What do you plan when he goes to school, then high school, and college. If giving up breastfeeding is an issue, then how do you plan to deal with the rest of his future.
Think about it.

I think you are doing a great job! That bedtime routine sounds perfect (minus the sippy cup). You're better off not giving him milk at bedtime because the sugars in the milk can rot his teeth. Even if he brushes at night, some of the sugars remaining can still do some damage. So I say, listen to what your little guy is telling you and skip the sippy at bedtime.

As for the weaning, I feel your pain! I too went though the saddness when my little guy refused to nurse. I just tried to stay positive and focus on all the new things that he is learning to do.

Hi, I think that if you can skip the sippy cup at night it is better for his developing teeth, that is when the most plaque is formed on teeth and gums which can lead to decay. As for the weaning of breastfeeding he will be okay. You should be give yourself koudos because not many moms last the whole year for one reason or another. As for not getting the minumum 16 oz per day check with his doctor to see if any more supplements are needed besides the yogurt and cheeses.

I can't offer advice, because my son is only 8 1/2 months old. But I can understand what you're going through, because he self-weaned at 7 1/2 months. It was so hard for me, and I was pretty sad for a few weeks. I still miss nursing him. He's as happy as can be, though! (The first of many steps toward independence, right?)

I know it isn't much of a comfort right now, but you did such a great thing by breastfeeding him for so long. The bond you have with him is even stronger because of that, and he sounds like an awesome kid. What a big boy!

Big hugs to you from another breastfeeding mom. I know it's really hard to wean, no matter what the circumstances or reasons. So wonderful that you breastfed him a year!

We sometimes did a bedtime sippy with our son, but he had issues with weight gain and the doctor wanted us to fatten him up with formula before bed (12-18 months). He did not expect the bedtime sippy because we weren't consistent. He still asks for a drink before bed sometimes though (20 months) and we give him an ounce or two of whole milk.

The one suggestion I didn't see (but I skimmed the responses so may have missed) which we've been doing since 10 months, is to put a sippy cup of water in his crib so if he wakes up thirsty, he can get himself a drink. I wouldn't worry yet about drinking too much at night in terms of potty training - you can reduce the amount he drinks very easily and it's a long way off.

both mine were the same one breast one bottle, I wouldn't push it as he's sleeping ok so doesn't need it, snuggle with a book instead. It's us who need it as we forget they are not our babies anymore they are growing up! My eldest never drank enough milk and is a healthy strong 10 year old with 5th gradde attitude so don't worry, good luck

It's understandable that you feel sad about no longer breastfeeding, but there are a million other mamas out there that are really jealous of you right now!! Not only has your son weaned himself without making you feel guilty by having to do the weaning, he drinks milk from a cup and doesn't require it before bed! Yay for you! A sippy before bed is a nasty little habit, especially when filled with milk...it's bad for those baby teeth! Go with this routine and be thankful girlfriend! =)

you are so fortunate!
it may be sad for you but your son is
ready to move on...
you should embrace this because it's such a struggle
for most moms. my son is 2 and a half and will not get rid of his bedtime BOTTLE. he refuses to drink milk before bed from a sippy cup.
go celebrate.

It sounds to me like he is doing fine without the bedtime milk. I would give it to him if he asks but otherwise, he is probably getting enough calcium with the milk and yogurt and cheese. I would also discuss this with your pediatrician. best of luck!

i am sorry that the weaning process was so quick for you, though i would still offer as it may be a temporary strike. aside from that, no i wouldnt introduce the sippy. the first year, breastmilk should be the diet, and the solid food given was just to compliment it and prepare for the future. after a year, solids would be the main diet, ideally with breastmilk complimenting it.

since breastmilk at this time is not an option, milk is what is typically given. but there is actually no need for a child to drink cows milk. you can google that topic and find toms of information. as long as your son is eating well balanced meals, and getting calcium thru yogurt, cheese, ect, he is fine. if weight gain is an issue, you can turn to healthy fats like avocados, but honestly, as long as he doesnt drop drastically in his charts, he would be fine. if he seemed like he wanted something, i would def keep offering the breast at night as its usually the last to go, and maybe pump awhile to try and see if he would prefer the taste of breastmilk in a cup, and also just in case he were to change his mind about night feeding since its usually the last to go. but if it goes, i would say he doesnt want anything at all. good luck, im sorry it was so quick, but you have done an excellent job!!!

I missed nursing too, in my opinion, I don't think you need to introduce milk at night. As long as he gets dairy products including milk throughout the day, there is no need to worry about it at night. He is growing up and how I missed nursing too and how comfortable it was just to relax at night. Oh well, that happens. If you need to talk with us, we are all here to help in any way we can with experiences. May Jesus bless you and your family.

I would just leave it alone and not try to give him the milk. It will be much easier for you when you try to keep him dry overnight. My son is 2 1/2 & hasn't drank one sip of milk since the day I took the bottle away from him. I just make sure he eats plenty of yogurt & cheese and he seems to be thriving. Good luck!

Hi there. Congratulations on breastfeeding for so long. It is so natural to feel sad and miss the nursing time. I BF my DD til 17 months, so I know. I just wanted to chime in with some words of support because a few of the posts seemed a little insensitive to your feelings. In no way did you imply that you are trying to keep him from moving on; you were just expressing some normal sadness about it. So please ignore any posts from those who would pass judgement. I am sure you are an amazing mommy.