Advice on Bringing New Baby Home

It sounds like you have the right ideas. When we had our daughter, our sons were 21mo. and 3 1/2. We brought them to the hospital to see her where they wore big brother t-shirts and we made a big deal over that fact. Then my husband took them to the toy store to let them buy a small toy for the baby and a small toy for them for becoming big brothers. When we came home we decided to have grandma give her undivided attention to them so that they wouldn't feel left out. I was suprised at how well the transition went. Once home my husband and I would make sure to have time with them each day (reading their favorite book, playing trains, etc.) while the baby slept. Hope some of these ideas help a little.

So that you can get settled in I would come home and get comfortable and then have the boys brought back home. One of the things that we did with our son when we brought his baby sister home was get him a baby (doll) as well.

We got a pacifier, bottle, gave him some preemie diapers, baby blanket - basically within reason all of the things we were using with his sister. Upon coming home, we showed him his baby sister and then presented him with his very own baby and all of the stuff. I asked him if we could take care of our babies together. When I would feed my baby, I would encourage him to feed his, bathe, diaper, etc. It gave him something special to do. It taught him how to be gentle with the baby by using his own baby doll. It gave us lots of oportunities to heap praise on him about what a good "daddy" he was and made him feel special. Most importantly it made him a part of what we were doing instead of us moving along and around without him.

My older boys were 6 and 5 when my 3rd son was born. My husband brought them to the hospital on day 2. (Not the day the baby was born - you'll need that day). I had found picutre frames that said "Mommy and Me' and put pictures of me and the perspective child in the frames and gave them to them as "Big Brother Presents". It helped them see that they were as big a part of my life as the baby would be. I also let them take control of the bed and put the legs and head up and down and made sure they had snacks. Kind of a welcome baby party. It was a short visit but it helped them understand. Now, when my 4th son came along 14 months later, the 1 year old had no use for him until he could crawl and do other things besides eat and cry.

Best of luck and congratulations on you little girl.

L.

My daughter was also two when my son was born. We thought she would be so jealous and we were really worried but she took it really well. She came to the hospital once to visit. We made sure that the baby was in the bassinet when they came in rather than me holding him. I said Hi to her first and sat with her for a few minutes and hugged her (it had been almost two days since she had seen me) and then I asked her if she wanted to see her brother. I told her I would pick him up so she could see him better and she was really excited. It seemed to go well but we kept the visit short because soon she was pushing buttons and getting into things.

My husband brought her when they came to take us home. He let her help pack a bag of things for the baby before they came to pick us up - she picked out a blanket, a stuffed animal, and some other things. She was really excited to show us the stuff she brought. It was a little crazy though when we first got home. I was nervous because she was excited and jumping around everywhere while we were trying to unpack and everything. I think it would have been better (at least for me) if I had been able to get situated first before hand.

Also, a tip someone else gave us that I think helps, when you are referring to the baby, as much as possible, say "your sister" rather than just "the baby." That way, when they are upset that you can't do what they want because the baby is hungry and needs to eat, it’s supposed to make them feel more like you are talking care of something that is theirs - their sister. It sounds strange, but I think it really does help, especially with toddlers.

When people came to visit, we asked them to ask my daughter first if they could see or hold "her baby brother." I think that made her feel important and that she was lucky to have him. She also had a doll and whenever I would change a diaper or feed him, I would ask her if she wanted to change her baby's diaper. I think it helped make her feel included in what we were doing and I always tried to find something to keep her busy when I was busy with the baby. It might be a little trickier with boys though - maybe they could have a teddy bear with a diaper? Also, whenever I would put him down to sleep, I would always ask her which stuffed animal her brother would want to look at and she always found a different animal and we would put it outside his crib for him to look at. Even now that he is 18 months old, she is still always telling me what he needs.

I think the main thing is just to try to include them as much as possible and let them make decisions for the baby whenever you can so that they will feel like important big brothers.

It sounds like you're going to have your hands full but it is so much fun to see the "big" kids helping the new little one. Good luck and best wishes!

Congratulations on your soon to be little one :). I have heard of people having the baby "buy" the other siblings a much wanted gift. When they come to the hospital for the first time the baby gives the siblings the gift. How can you not love someone who gives you something you really wanted?

Just a thought.....hope that the transition goes well for you.

With my 2nd and 3rd, we had the older sister(s) pick out a gift for the baby. When they came to visit our new baby, they gave their gift(s) and received one from the baby.

SAHM to 2 girls 5 1/2 and 3 1/2 and boy 14 months

I would plan on day to bring them in to visit you. Have dad or you buy small presents for them that you can give them at the hospital for the baby to give as a gift. Also Dad can help them make a a welcome sign for the day you come back. Have the help get the house ready for you and the baby. Do not forget to let them know how you will be sore from the surgery and they will have to be extra careful with you for awhile.

Good Luck and Congrats
PS. I am now doing postpartum doula work and most insurance are covering it with a a ob or midwives prescription.
Jo