Advice on Leaving a 2-Mo Old When Breastfeeding

I didn't read the responses, but I could not and would not leave my 2 month old baby. I would bring the baby with me or skip the trip. I am the mom of a 2 year old and breastfed exclusively for the first year (and at night until 16 months). I know other women who have left their babies over night at a young age, it just is not something I would do. My daughter was still not really taking bm from a bottle when she had to start daycare at 5 months old either-so that could always be an issue that could rise at the last minute.

C.,

I had to be away from one of my kids for 2 days when she was a tiny baby, and she was SO mad at me when I got back. She wouldn't respond to me at all for over a day. Hard to believe something so little could show emotion that way, but it was very clear. She was angry with me for leaving her. Find a way to take the baby with you, or else beg off.

Good luck!

I went to an out of town wedding when my baby was 1 1/2 months old. It was exhausting. I would though suggest taking the baby with you. If you left the baby you would have to pump at least every 3 hrs because pumping is less effective then breastfeeding. So realize that you will have to pump just before the wedding and probably during photos and around dinner time, so it's not really easier than feeding your baby. I don't think there is any reason why you couldn't travel with your baby as long as it is healthy. As not yet being a mom you aren't able to fully understand the connection you and your baby are going to have. You will probably find after you have the baby it is very hard to leave them especially when they are still a new born and for 2 days.

Plus you would have to pump and store a lot of milk before you left to ensure your baby has enough milk.

So really I say go and take the baby with you. It is way to much of them to ask you to leave a baby that young. I found when I had my first that my friends and brother would still ask me to go to the bar with them on a regular basis. They had no idea what it was like to be a new parent and really going to the bar and being away from my newborn was the last thing on my mind!

Personally, I'd take the baby. You have no idea what the baby-mom bond will be like until you are there and you'll cry most of the time away and feel terrible. Not that there is any reason to feel bad about it, there isn't but you will hate it and not enjoy yourself. Trust me, just plan to take the baby, it is in August, not in the winter so you shouldn't have travel concerns. I see there is a huge agreement here for this. Whatever you decide is best for you, go with, but I think you will feel better planning on taking the baby.

D.

Congrats to you on your baby & to your sister on getting married!

C.,

I'm so sorry that your family is not supporting you. This has nothing to do with being a "new mom". I have 2 boys ages 3.5 and 7mos. I'm still nursing and for me to leave now is difficult. Yes it's dueable but at 2 months no way. Your family should not expect you to leave your baby at no means! Even if you weren't nursing. I know your doctor said not to take the baby however the wedding's in August,(summer time less sick people), plus you'll be nursing (extra antibodies, and your precious little 2 month baby will be with his/her mommy. You will have a much better time and not be worried. I'm a flight attendant and I see newborns all the time. It's ok to fly especially if you have no other option. At 2 months you're so tired and especially nursing for your 1st time it takes a good 3 months to become comfortable with it. (at least that was my experience)I do think to give the baby a bottle once in awhile is ok but for 2 straight days at 2 months old I wouldn't be ok with that(my opinion). Good for you for wanting to nurse, now a days more and more women are nursing and perhaps the women in your family didn't have that opportunity so it difficult to associate with. Good luck and I hope your little one gets to go with you.

A.

Hello C.,
It is interesting that your doctor suggested not flying with your baby.
I moved from Castro Valley to Guam with a 3 month old and that was a LONG flight!
My son's family went right after their daughter's birth and logged 3,000 miles of travel before her 3rd month. They found it easier to do because of nursing. So go back and ask the question why? You became a mother and that has to always be the 1st priority over everything else.
As for the wedding. Having been a wedding cordinator and worked on 200 weddings let give you this to think about... The time leading up to the wedding is stressful and involved so you must be able to plan for some quiet moments and privacy to nurse your child. It never fails that a breastfeeding mother doesn't allow for her breasts swelling and the milk leaking just as the pictures are being taken so make sure it is a easy dress to get out of. I know that the bride will have the need of your help that day esp for pictures and getting things done but you may have to be upfront and tell everyone that the baby needs to come first and that means slipping out for 20 minuets at a time to feed the child about every 2-3 hours. It sure means that you may not be going out with the girls for anything they may want to do to party all night! I have seen it done and with much success I have also seen it be hardship on everyone. You should never leave your child for another person- children are not the bow on the package but the entire package for the next several years! Is there any chance of not having such a high profile part in the wedding? Could you be her backround support and be part of all the organizing for the "Big Event"?
I understand your love for your sister and the honor of being in the wedding but in all reality is it practical? It is always when pregnanat a time for caution esp. in the early stages. I know my own daughter traveled when pregnant once to make the announcement that she was, at a family gathering and for her work. It is exusting and hard when you feel great but worse when you aren't and the body is going through so many changes all at once and sitting at the Oakland Airport is not fun at all...
Just talk to your sister and tell her you love her and that as the Aunt of your baby and as the sister of your heart you need to rethink things I mean what if you deliver late since this is your 1st and don't have the recovery time you need to make all the adjustments that come from a new baby in the home. I wish you all the best with your baby and with your relationship with your sister. I am sure that in all her excitement she hasn't thought about the reality of the baby's needs at that time. Nana Glenda

My advice... Do not leave your very young baby without her mama for more than a few hours! It would be less harmful to her emotionally to travel and be with you, even if the flight is uncomfortable for her, than to be away from you for that long. And bottles mess with a baby's desire to breastfeed, as they are easier to get more quantity from a bottle, and a baby can become less inclined to breastfeed if they get used to a bottle. Also, it is hard to suddenly switch over, so without prepping for this 2 days of bottle feeding (which, like I said, may cause breastfeeding reluctance), it would be hard for her to adjust. Being with your baby is super important, and a separation like that could be very hard for her. And you. I would bring her. Maybe take an over-night flight, when she is more likely to sleep through most of it. Being in your arms and able to nurse at will will keep her very happy, most likely. Get some homeopathy for ear adjusting during landing.

I would take your baby with you. We didn't travel with our daughter until she was about 4 months but she did fine. If you leave your baby for even just 2 days you are disrupting their eating. I wasn't able to produce enough due to a reduction so I only breastfed the first month and supplemented with formula so my kids were used to a bottle. If you are successful, you won't want to have them on a bottle for that long. It is easier for them and little babies get lazy and she/he might not want you when you return. They may only want the bottle going forward. You can still give them your milk but pumping is a HUGE pain in the butt. Friends of mine struggled to get their daughter to take a bottle. She stayed in another part of the house for over 12 hours while he tried giving their daughter a bottle. I was a miserable day for them. It finally worked but she went all day without eating. You don't want to do that to a little one so young either. Good luck, a pacifier or feeding works great for take off.

Hi C., We traveled across country with our son when he was 6 weeks old. He traveled great and when he was hungry I simply nursed him whether on the plane or in the terminal. I also supplemented with formula when I had to and my son never had any 'nipple confusion". If your husband wants to come along he could watch your baby during the ceremony and then you would be there to nurse when needed. I wouldn't stress about it too much but I can tell you infants travel much easier than toddlers! Good luck with whatever decision you make.

Hi C.,

Congratulations on your upcoming baby. I have left my new baby (4 mos) for a weekend. I was difficult emotionally for me. I did not like being away from her for those 4 days. The whole pumping and freezing thing worked fine and she was not confused when I got back. She was more than happy to go back to breastfeeding.

However, when we did it 3 years later with a 3 month old, it was easier because I knew that she would be fine while I was away and that she would remember me and how to feed just fine. It was easier to leave her behind also because I was very tired and really needed a few nights of good sleep.

So, I would consider asking your sister if you could just be a bride's maid and then let her know that you need to play it by ear. If you do not feel comfortable enough to leave you baby for those two days, don't go. If you really want the sleep and your husband is ok with keeping the baby for 2 days (a newborn is really hard on men because babies don't do anything), then go. I would just tell her you want to keep your options open, because you are new at this, and that though you really want to be there, you would hope she could be a little flexible and understanding.

D.

hi C. -
i don't know what others have written: hopefully you'll get great advice -
does your sister have kids? i'm thinking not, or she would never have asked you to play such an important role during her wedding when you're going to be EXAUSTED and DISTRACTED by your new wonder (baby!)!!!! in my book, it would almost be easier to back out of the role and maybe fly in JUST for the wedding - as a guest - or have your family w/you, or, frankly, just not go! i'm just sayin': you haven't any idea how you're going to be feeling, and maybe it'll be going great for you, but chances are that you're going to be completely sleep-deprived and distracted...your sister doesn't/won't have a clue and you have to take care of yourself.
if you do decide to pump milk, etc. then do get the baby used to others feeding it from the bottle BEFORE you leave!!!
best of luck :)

2 months is a very tough time. remember that your milk may not come in strong right away making it difficult to pump enough to store. on the oher hand, you dont even know yet if your milk willl come in at all, meaning your baby may be on formula anyway. my first child only took breast milk from the bottle never actually breastfedd. the second one refused the bottle for hours at a time and would wait for me to get home to breastfeed. you just dont have enough information right now to make the most educated decision about leaving your baby for that long. is there any chance you can drive with your entire family there?

You are not being irrational. two months is too early to leave her. Is it possible? Maybe. But it may drive you crazy, especially if you get calls from your husband that she is crying non-stop and won't take the bottle. . . . this happened to me when I tried to leave for just the day to go to my best friends wedding. . . .
also, are the people saying you are just being a "new mom" mothers themselves?? I can't imagine anyone who actually knows the deep responsiblitity of motherhood saying something so trivial about leaving a nursing 2 month old-- sounds like something that comes out of a single 20 year olds mouth.

I agree with you - 2 mths is too young to be left behind if you are breastfeeding. I travelled with my 2 mth old on a 24 hr flight each way (broken into 2 flights) and she had no problems at all. Nor did I. I did keep drinking water through out the flight to keep myself hydrated. I nursed her during take off and landing so as to avoid her ears from getting plugged due to the air pressure. I also kept applying Purrell a lot. Baby sling (cloth kind which stay close to your body) also helped in keeping strangers from wanting to touch her and to keep away any germs from people sneezing/coughing around me.

C.,
What an exciting time for you. I have two boys who are 3 and 4.5 now. Both traveled when they were weeks old for different reasons. Babies actually travel really well and for me, it worked well to pick up and go. I took my older son to visit his mother at about 4 weeks and it was quite easy. My younger son joined my husband and I for a wedding at about six weeks and that was also quite easy. I took the baby with me to the wedding trying to time the nursing I have also traveled when I have hired babysitters for an agency for work travel when my son was about 3 months old. It felt easier to me to take him than to deal with the logistics of pumping and leaving him when he was so young.
Good luck!
S.

My niece was only 2 months old when my sister and brother in law had to relocate to Washington State from Southern Californis for his job. They flew with her and just made sure she had a pacifier for take off and landing so it didn't hurt her ears. She just turned 1 year old in November and has been on 17 flights so far. I know most people go with what the doctor says, but I think it will be fine for one trip.

I think you're being an excellent "first mom" because you are considering the needs of your child first. Your family will learn to adjust to this and you'll have to make decisions like this over and over.
Trust your instincts! I have an almost-2-month old right now and leaving for 2 days would go against every fiber and all my intuition. It's a very intense time, especially with your first baby.
If you have to go, consider ways of taking the baby with you. I'm not a doc, but I think flying at 2 months is not impossible. I would worry about germs and my own sleep.
Good luck making your decision.

Not sure if this helps, but I flew from Indy to DC when my daughter was 5 weeks old. She did fine, and our pediatrician was fine with it.

I had to go to a mandatory business meeting in June, 2008 when my daughter was 11 weeks old. I had my whole family come with me and enjoy being able to stay for free in San Diego while I worked.

I personally wouldn't want to be away from my child that early (especially your first). I did, however, have to leave our son at 4 months to attend another meeting and had my mother use frozen and pumped breast milk. I was lucky enough to have produced enough to cover it without needing to use formula.

It was hard to pump while traveling, but I managed, and the few days went quickly.

My recommendation, though, would be to take your baby with you. Right now, you're receiving advice from an OB/GYN, but the pediatrician is who should be advising once the baby is born. Perhaps select a pediatrician now and ask their advice in advance of the delivery.

I only have one child. If you asked me to be away from him when he was 2 months old, I just couldn't do it. I was just pulling out of the extreme sleep deprivation, and breast feeding was still tiring me out, and I had fallen in love with this new perfect little boy and the rest of the world just didn't matter that much. I just wanted to be home feathering my nest and clucking over my chick. I know. Not everyone is the same. Mothering and loving it just hit me very hard and before I experienced it I never would have believed I could feel like that about anything. Your family thinks you are being a 'new mom'? And what's wrong with that? Of COURSE you're a new mom! I think the way they are dismissing your feelings about it is rather insensitive. Your child and your motherhood is something to celebrate! That being said, your sister might want her wedding day to be about her, and a new baby nearby is definitely an attention grabber. You won't really have your mind on her wedding no matter where your baby is. I'm not sure how close you and your sister are, but maybe turning down the Maid/Matron of Honor position might be the right thing to do. It's a tough choice to make either way.

I think we're all assuming that if you take the baby, your husband will also go. Unless there are complications to indicate that your baby shouldn't travel, I see no reason to not travel with a 2 month old. Perhaps the Dr. is concerned about the baby picking up disease in the crowds while traveling, but you can guard against that. A two month old can more easily be covered when necessary to keep the germs away, so I think is easier to travel with than a bit older child. I also agree with the respondent who said start pumping and get your baby accustomed to using a bottle some of the time right away, because in the hustle and stress of the wedding prep, you first of all may not have time to nurse, and secondly, you may need to have a supply back up of frozen breast milk in case the travel and stess lower your supply during that time. Carry the milk supply with you in a well insulated bag and it should be fine. You might even check with the flight attendant to see if they might be able to put it in thier cold storage on board the flight. I don't know if that's something they can do, but it never hurts to ask.

My oldest's first flight was when he was 5 days old. We'd been flown to the hospital by air abulance for him to be born so naturally we had to fly home. No one ever mentioned that flying might be unsafe for him and this was in a smaller unpressurized jet. My fourth flew for the first time at 3 weeks old. The doctor said it wasn't ideal, not because we were flying but taking newborns in crowds isn't reccomended but since we were flying home for a last chance to see my grandmother, it was most likely worth it. She reccomended in airports and other crowded spaces wearing the baby in a sling to completely cover her. I would take the baby with you and make the most of it. Make sure that you are able to get in and out of your dress easily and have a private place to nurse. If you want pump a little milk for someone to offer the baby during the actual ceremony and if the baby cries have whoever is responsible for her take her out of the ceremony as a baby's cry can make some mother's breasts leak. Enjoy your sister's special day and hopefully she won't be too upstaged by her new neice or nephew!

I think you should smile, say thank you but you need to be with your baby. She may not understand now but she will when she is a new mom. 2 months is a bit too young to be away from. By the way, there is NOTHING wrong with being a new mom! Enjoy your baby and ask your sister to make sure someone takes lots of pictures. It is easy for a bride to get wrapped up in the "me" of their own wedding and not really think of how much this inconveniences others. I don't know if she is willing to wait a year but you might ask. =) At 14 months your baby could go with you.....

After having two babies, when the baby is just two months old, you are not getting much sleep and are adjusting to being a mom to a new baby. It is a huge adjustment the first time and it would be hard to be completely present for your sister. This is still a recovery period for you and a bonding time for you and your baby. I could see you maybe going to the wedding but being a maid of honor is a lot to take on while pregnant and then to have a newborn.

If I were you I would tell her that it would be better if the baby was at least 3 months old. And if you arent' the maid of honor then you could bring the baby, etc.

I hope your sister honors what is going on for you and changes the time she is thinking about getting married.

Enjoy your pregnancy!

Excuse the bluntness but HELL NO-you are not being irrational & to be perfectly honest I wasn't ready to commit to any plans for almost the first 6 months of my daughter's life. I canceled more than I actually made it to.
She is 18 months now. The sleep deprivation alone @ 2 months will be killing you & you will not want to leave her & trust that anyone will give her the care that you will because by 2 months you will know her the best-if you are the primary caregiver.
Plus no one else is going to want to wake up every 1 1/2 to 3 hours to feed her 24/7-that is a huge thing to ask of anyone else other than yourself or the baby's father & believe me-even the most in tune first time daddy @ 2 months would be scared to death to be alone even for 2 days.
My own husband who is probably one of the most active participant father's I know plus my friend's partner's were calling when we would leave our babies with them for more than 3 hours-wanting to know when we would be home.
Newborns cry-a lot & although it is hard for us Mommie's -it is terrifying for Daddy's-we just handle it better & have a better Mama's instinct to know what is wrong & how to fix it.
I also agree with the Dr. that taking the baby with you is not a good option either since the immune system is not developed & you would be exposing her to all kinds of germs & possible illnesses-especially on a confined airplane with refilltered air...
Plus you would be tending to the baby the whole time hence not being able to actively be there for your sister...
I know that is a very hard situation to deal with but you will learn once you hold that baby for the first time & especially when you come home from the hospital & close that door behind you, they she is your #1 priority now & life will revolve around her from that point on.
Of course the newborn days are the crucial times in her life to cater to her & to yourself as you adjust to the change & then as she gets older you will eventually do more for yourself & have her work into your schedule better but when they are that young & even now for me having a toddler we still have to be home for her to take her nap- she won't sleep in public-way to curious & go to bed @ night @ the time her little body needs to otherwise believe me, it messes up everything as far as 'her schedule' & what she is used to & then you have a crying, whining, over tired, unhappy little one & no one enjoys that.
Good luck with your decision making...tell your sister that one day, when she has her first child she will understand & that this is just one time in life that you need to do what is right for yourself & your baby. You hope she understands & if not will get over it in time....just like she is trying to have the wedding based around her schedule, you need to do what is right for you & your schedule which happens to be really bad timing...if she can do it when your baby is 5 months or older-it will make a huge difference for everyone involved. But then again, you might just hear the opposite from other responses so keep in mind that all of us are different & only you knows the type of person you are so hopefully in the end you can apply some of each of the responses on here to your final decision & do what your guts tells you to do.

AND congratulations you are about to enter a whole new world, one that makes everything before seem insignificant. Being a parent is gift that if we are lucky enough to experience, is unlike anything you can imagine before you have your own. I thought I knew what it would be like before my daughter was born & I tell everyone now-I really had no clue. The good, the bad, it is all temporary & enjoy each stage cause they move to the next one before you know it. :)

When mine were two months, I wouldn't have wanted to leave them. But everyone's different. I know a lot of people who have flown with babies at that age. My friends even joked that it was easy at that age because they were just like luggage. ;o)

Honestly, reading through your note, it sounds like your family isn't being that fair to you. I'd feel pressure to commit to a cross-country trip so soon after giving birth and not knowing how I will feel. I think your schedule of giving birth is perhaps more important than their work and school schedules! So net, you have my support and do what you and the baby's dad think is right. You are not being irrational.

Good luck and enjoy your pregnancy!

i am learning my way around mamasource, so here's a question i'll ask you since you're a new mom. i know a lot of moms use nannycams and things like that to monitor their children when they're not around, but what do you think the responsibilities of parents are if they sublet a room to a renter and fail to inform that person they are being videotaped?

The biggest problem here is predicting how YOU will feel in August. What if your baby has a cold - can't fly! What if you're exhausted because your baby cries every night from colic? What if you have to cancel the trip entirely? If I were you I would not be a maid of honor. There are too many unknowns and you don't want to disappoint your sister. Go as a guest. The one thing that is known is that in August you will be very, very tired. Good-luck.

I breast-fed and I attempted to leave my 2-month-old just for the evening to go to the opera. She wouldn't take the breast milk from a bottle and my mother couldn't get her to calm down the whole evening. I felt terrible about the stress I put them both through when I got home. Your sister is sounding like a bridezilla and your baby and your relationship with your baby should come first here. Even 2 days away is too long at that age. Plus, you will probably be miserable if you go ahead and do it (when you don't want to) anyway just because your sister will be mad. Not wanting to--that's your instincts telling you to stay with the precious being, your little baby, for whom you are irreplaceable. Been there! Good luck!

Dear C.,
Your doctor may advise against travelling but most of it is going to happen in your head and it is up to you what you make out of the experience.
When I was expecting my first one I found out that my insurance would not cover a birth in the US and that I had to travel back to Europe for the birth. I planed to stay in Switzerland for 3 months. 2 months before the due date and 1 month after. My husband would follow later and come for 2 months, one before, one after. Flying 2 months before was about the latest Airlines allow you to fly with a doctor's notice that you have a no risk pregnancy.
So we flew back after 1 month with a 1 month old baby. For the baby it was absolutely no problem, because he was still on his 2 hour rhythm and day or night didn't make much of a difference. I was harder on myself. Sitting for such a long time (11 hours) just one month after having given birth is a lot. After having gone through a more extreme experience than what you might expect, I would say flying to the East coast is no problem and I would say it is easier to be there with the baby than leaving it at home. Plan to spend more time there than what you normally would to attend a wedding. the breastfeeding is not harder there than at home. You might want to choose your dress with breastfeeding and easy access in mind. Stay at a home instead of in a hotel... It is easier because you might walk around during the night. I find it more stressful to leave a young baby at home than to take them with me. Taking them with you is one of the big advantages of breastfeeding. No bottles to sterilize... Good luck, A.

I would have found it very stressful to travel with a newborn, and I would have found it almost impossible to leave him. I think my anxiety and stress (already high at that time) would have gone through the roof, and I would have been the most useless and distracted bridesmaid in history.

Others may differ.

You should follow your own feelings on the issue, and not try to please anybody else. Your sister will forgive you when her first baby is born.

Hang in there. Sounds like your sister just doesn't understand because she hasn't had to face this choice. I completely agree with all the moms who said there really shouldn't be a medical reason not to fly with a 2 month old. I have two kids and at that age who we've flown with a ton at a young age. They don't stay awake very long anyway and you can control who touches them or is near them. Give the baby something to suck on (breast, bottle, pacifier, whatever works for you) on take off and landing.
Biggest challenge for travel is packing all the stuff. At 2 months, it's really just lots of diapers, changes of clothes for you and the baby for the plan (in case of accident), etc. There are lots of lists online. You can buy more supplies when you get to your destination, like diapers and wipes, so you don't have to pack them all. There are lots of great suggestion lists online.
Car rental places offer car seats as part of the packages. Then you just need someplace for the baby to sleep. Either you can check a pack-n-play or you might be able to borrow or rent one in the location you're going to. Here's a link that may help.
http://www.thenewparentsguide.com/baby-equipment-rentals.htm
Good luck! Someday when your sister has kids she'll completely understand.

I traveled (across the country, on a plane) with both of my children when they were each 8 weeks old, my doctor supported it, and it was fine. It will certainly allow you to keep up the nursing relationship you have, and small babies adjust really well to any environment. I'm sure there will be lots of friends and family at the wedding that would be happy to take turns watching the baby while you focus on your sister, and you can take breaks every few hours to nurse the baby.

Hi,
I have a 2 1/2 year old son and am now 32 weeks pregnant. I think your sister is being totally selfish. There is no way I would have been able to leave my son at 2 months, even for 2 days- you would be risking the breastfeeding bond you'll have worked so hard to establish, plus the baby may not be able to sleep without you being closeby-the baby just spent 40 weeks sleeping in you.
If you feel like you have to go, bring the baby with you- that way you can be in control of meeting your baby's needs and your sister may see how selfish she was for ever asking you to leave your new baby. Does your doctor know that you are choosing between traveling with the baby or LEAVING him/her?
I traveled with my son(and husband) when my son was 2 1/2 months old from CA to NJ to see my in-laws. He slept most of the flight and I nursed him during take off/landing so his ears wouldn't hurt. It was fine and all went well.
It is upto you, but just be sure not to let others pressure you into something you're not comfortable with. You can always buy your plane ticket and tell them you'll have a lap infant with you-then make your decision last minute.
-Wendy

I travelled with a 2 month old baby and had no trouble, so it really should be about whether you feel comfortable travelling with the baby, or leaving it behind. The baby should be okay without you for a couple days, but if you are concerned about the baby being without you the whole time it will be difficult to focus on your sister's wedding. You have to go with how you feel about it.

I would not leave your nursing newborn, I would talk more to your Dr about his reasons why he thinks you should not travel with a near 2 month old , and then take your baby and husband to the wedding and keep your baby close to you. It can be harder to travel with an infant but it is do-able, allow for more time so you can stop more to nurse and comfort baby, when flying, get a secure infant carrier, I love the Moby Wrap so baby is close and secure to you as you go through security. Still plan on going for just 2 days, so you can be home and comfortable with your family asap. Follow your instinct and keep your infant close to you, your sister will be happy to meet her new nephew or niece, and you will be happier with having your baby near you. You can do it mama, Do not be bullied by your family, Good luck to you

I haven't read all the messages. But I think it would be hard to plan in advance to leave your baby at 2 months. You just don't know how you'll feel about leaving her at the time nor how she'll react. I wouldn't have been comfortable with it personally (and I went back to work full time after 10 weeks so it's not like I couldn't leave her).

I really wouldn't be so concerned about catching illnesses. Your immunity is being passed on to her through breastfeeding, it's not flu season at that time, plus you can just keep her really close so nosey fellow travelers can't touch her.

I traveled with a 2.5 month old, overseas, with no problems at all. I kept her in a sling most of the time. In fact, on that particular trip everyone except the baby got sick! I think newborns are ideal travel companions for long flights (unless colicky of course)--much better than toddlers!

In any case, good luck with your decision. Maybe you can wait until the baby is born to decide what to do.

Developmentally, babies that age do not have a concept of time. They can feel abandoned. Also, this could greatly affect a newly established milk supply. It is better to bring the baby with you, while young, many babies this age have flown. I'm sure you would have lots of help, as people are happy to help with little ones. R. Faridnia, MSW, LCSW

I was faced with same problem when my baby was 3 months old. There is no one right answer. It is up to you what feels to you as less stressful. Each option has it's pro and cons.
I chose to take my baby with me. Assuming you and the baby are healthy, it is easy to travel with infants. They eat, they sleep, you change them and they do not go anywhere. Mom need to remember take care of herself - drink a lot of water, sleep enough, get emotional support from others. Again, if everyone is healthy, everyone can enjoy your baby while you are there.
At the same time, I saw my friend who left the baby behind. She was a working mom and had to go on business trips. She left breast milk and continued to nurse her daughter over 2 years. No problem to come back from the bottle to the breast.

So, just keep the final decision as late as possible, consider you energy level, general adjustment to the new baby (it is easier to leave a baby behind when everything goes well)and make the decision from your gut feeling of what is better FOR YOU.

Hi C.,

My son was born 3 months ago, he is my second child and before I had him I had arranged for me to go back to work once a week after he was 4 weeks. Once he was born I realized it was not possible. He didn't want to take the bottle. I would suggest to not plan on leaving your baby for 2 days, for a newborn that is a very long time. All babies are so different and it is always better to prepared. I know it is your sister but this is your newborn baby who you will want to care for, if you must, probably traveling with baby might be better than leaving him/ her behind.

Hi there,

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I wouldn't recommend leaving your little, tiny baby, even for just two days, and especially if you will be breastfeeding (and thumbs up for breastfeeding!). First of all, you won't want to leave him/her! Second, I have read here on Mamasource that many mommies have had a hard time getting their little ones to take a bottle when they have to go back to work, when the babies are even a bit older than yours will be. You could be setting yourself up for a lot of stress that second month, trying to get him/her to take a bottle so you know you can leave him/her. And what if a flight is canceled? Or something else happens that keeps you away from your baby for an extra day?

I traveled from Rome (where we live) to the west coast for Christmas when our little one was 3 months old. It was stressful in advance because I was worried about the trip, but she did really well and everything was fine! But I traveled with my husband, too. I have a close friend who just did the trip with her baby but by herself (from Rome to the East Coast), and they did fine, as well. But you will also want help once you get there. And your and your baby's schedules might not fit well with all of the wedding events, so I'd suggest you have your husband there, so you can be flexible.

Those are just my two cents. Don't be shy about being a "new mom"! It is such an important job and such a huge change and newborns are so precious, you SHOULD be feeling as protective as possible of yourself and your little one those first few months. Your needs and your baby's needs come first. I hate to say it, but it sounds like your sister is taking her new role of being a "bride" a bit too seriously! :) Hopefully you can work your schedules out so everyone is happy. But I say, good for you for planning ahead and not getting stuck in an uncomfortable situation.

H.

Hi C.,
I'm probably old school, but I would not leave my newborn baby alone at 2 months. I think if your baby was 10 months or older it would be a different story. Sorry...

Lots of great responses and just wanted to offer support. Don't leave your baby! She needs you WAY more than your sister. This is YOUR time with your baby and the first three months are so critical, especially when it comes to breastfeeding. Plus, as others have said, you never know what might come up with a new baby. It's way to hard to plan for the unknown right now. Good luck and trust your mommy instincts.

I don't know what other advise is, I haven't read them. I can tell you that I went to Florida with my number 2 son at 5 weeks. You can't change when Grandma turns 100! He traveled fine on the plane at 2 months your baby should be fine. I would be more concerned about leaving your baby (which as a 1st time mom will be harder to do than travel)
Relax, people go all over the world all the time! Keep nursing, wash your hands and enjoy your sisters wedding!

Dur to somethings going on in our family my daughter took her first plane trip at 2 weeks. We had to have a note from the MD. She did much better than I did(still very sore from the birth). Find out why your doctor is concerned about the baby not flying. I personally would not be able to leave my baby and the first months are vey important when nursing.

Trust me, the baby can go anywhere you go. The problem is whether or not you feel that festive with a 2 mo old in tow?
Maybe you should have a plan B, in case you can't make it to the wedding. I've never been one that could plan that far ahead, plans stress me out, I'm a one day at a time person, that's all I can handle.
I'm sure there will be plenty of ladies available to hold the baby while you are at the wedding, so introducing her to a bottle early on in preparation would be the smart thing to do. Personally, I cant imagine leaving the baby home, I would take baby with me.

I agree with everyone who said take the baby with you--we traveled extensively with our firstborn at 6 weeks, and the only problem was he got sick because all his cousins were sick!! But flying was not the problem! I will strongly recommend a baby sling, for nursing discreetly, for holding in the plane, and for general ease of carrying baby!

I just have one other consideration re: leaving the baby behind--leaky boobs in a formal gown! Not a pretty sight! Better to have baby there to nurse first, and then try to take pix (or walk down the aisle) Also, remember that the dress has to be 'boob accessible' for nursing or you'll just have a major hassle. So, button front or side, a jacket or something easy! When you're trying it on, practice pulling out the boobs for nursing! Seriously! Good you're the Matron of Honor--you can have a bit different dress and it won't matter too much.

Congrats, best of luck, and stand your ground! And what's wrong with being a 'new mom'????

C.-
I completely understand where you are coming from and do not think you are being irrational. I would have not left my 2 month old daughter. I was in a similar situation when my daughter was 5 months old. I took her with me but it kept me from being helping out more during the wedding week. At the time the bride and others didn't really understand, now that they are having kids they are starting to see where I was coming from.
Good luck!
A.

I don't know what the problem is with you taking the baby with you? Is there a specific reason why your Dr. is advising against this? My brother and his wife got married when my daughter (now 9 months old) was 5 weeks old. It was in Tahoe, and we didn't have to fly or anything, but it worked out just fine. I of course made sure that strange people weren't touching her or being close to her. If flying is what the problem is, maybe you should just make a nice family trip out of it and drive to wherever it is that is 1/2 way and bring your baby with you. I personally wouldn't leave my 2 month old baby for 2 days breastfeeding or not. It has nothing to do with being a "new" mom, it has to do with being a GOOD mom - I am pregnant with my 4th right now, and I am sure when your sister has a baby, she will be feeling the same way! It is really easy for her to say this and that when it is not her baby that is being affected! I wouldn't do it!

I'm wondering what your doctor's concerns were re: traveling with a two month old. You don't need to decide now of course, and if you do decide to take the baby, the main concern is for the baby's health and safety while you are busy with wedding preparations and participation.

I agree that this is a matter for concern, but not to obsess over since there is no way you can know how things will be until after your baby arrives. I would suggest that in either event you pump and give your baby some breastmilk from a bottle almost from the start so that going back and forth between being nursed and having someone else give your milk from a bottle will be the norm.

I don't see why you can't take the baby with you. Breastfeeding may be hard enough without having to figure out how to pump and store it. You won't have to pay anymore for the baby and at that age, you're gonna just want to hold it anyway! I personally have flown (overseas) with a 3 month old and 2 older children. So I'm sure flying stateside with a 2 month old would be not much different. You'll probably have already gotten the first round of shots but even if not, just keep everyone away from the baby if you're concerned about germs. I say take the baby and don't let anyone try to make you feel bad about any decisions you make for your family.

When my daughter was 2 month old, I flew from California to Illinois for a family reunion. Because I was nursing her, it was a breeze. When we got off the plane, people were surprised to see me holding her. They had no idea there was even a baby aboard the plane.

She is your first born and you will not want to leave her home. Plan to take her with you if you can. Get the bulk-head seat on the plane (more room). Bring the car seat, stroller, sling, or whatever you will need to make you and your baby more comfortable on your trip. You will feel like you're bringing a lot of things, but that's normal. Since she's so young, you won't have to worry about food -- and if you're nursing, that's easy too.

Enjoy the wedding!!

Hi C.,
I would be willing to bet you won't want to leave your baby at 2 months. You will be way too stressed out with storing enough milk ahead of time, preparations for leaving, wedding details, and then you will be preoccupied the whole time wondering how the baby is doing while you're gone. And pumping so often will be difficult, too, much less figuring out how to store two precious days' worth of breastmilk will be challenging. I was a bridesmaid in a wedding when I had a 6 month old, and that was hard enough. And it was local! I was only gone one full day, and came back late that same night. I had to find solitary places to pump at the wedding and reception venues several times throughout that day, and it was not easy.

I say, take the baby with you, and definitely get help from the other bridesmaids, and share your maid of honor responsibilities. There is so much to think about when you're in a wedding, not to mention when you also have a newborn. If the baby is with you at the wedding, you will have plenty of volunteers to help hold her/care for her. And you will have much more peace of mind that she is near you.

And at that age, they don't move much. So, you don't really need a pack n play. Just make a cozy little cushy bed for her on the floor or on your own bed, and you'll be fine! I did that once when traveling with a newborn. It's no big deal. Lighten your load, and carry less luggage. Pack n plays are a PAIN to travel with.

Oh, and one more thing--when getting your bridesmaid dress sized, be sure to imagine your chest at least two cup sizes bigger!!! :-)

And please delegate your M.O.O. responsibilities beforehand, before the baby comes. Cuz once you have that baby and are trying to figure out how to nurse, sleep, feed yourself, shower, and basically function, you won't have much room in your brain to think about wedding responsibilities.

Good luck and have fun.

I don't understand why the doctor advised against traveling with a 2month old.....I have been traveling with my twins since they were 2 1/2 months old and they were preemies. Our trip was to see family too. I think that's the best time to travel with them. I can't imagine leaving my newborn. Good luck with your decision.

It is hard to understand what a mom goes through until you have kids yourself. I always wish I had been a better friend to my best friend when she had kids before me but you are going through different things. I think if your sister does not understand you missing her wedding (if that is what happens) than she will once she has kids herself.

If you do go, I agree with everyone, you should be fine taking the baby with you. If you do fly with the baby, breast feed the baby at take off and landing. The sucking helps with the ear pressure.

If you decide to go without the baby I am sure everything will work out for you. Our daughter had to take a bottle supplement to my breast feeding in the hospital and had no problems at all going from one to the other. Finding a place to pump can be stressful so make sure if you do go that your sister is understanding that you will have to come and go to pump, and that you will need a private place with an electrical outlet nearby. It is also helpful if you pump, bring a photo and maybe a blanket or something of the baby's, it helps you relax when you pump. I thought this sounded so crazy but then I tried it and it helped!

GOOD LUCK AND DON'T STRESS!

Hi C.,

First, congratulations on your new baby!
Second, follow your heart. If you feel that you will not be ready to leave your baby for any reason at that time, decline. It is certainly a tough, tough decision. Could your sister wait four addtl months? Maybe by then the dr would be comfortable with the baby traveling?
If you decide to travel without the baby, the baby will likely do just fine and it may be a really good one on one experience for baby and dad. You will have to take a breastpump and pump every three hours or so to relieve your breasts/protect your supply/etc.
Best of luck,
N.

I don't know how far you will be traveling to attend your sister's wedding, but for me, I would've been able to leave my newborn for one day let alone two.
The first three months are pretty crucial in terms of breastfeeding and switching from breast to bottle to breast can cause nipple confusion in a baby that young. If you do decide to leave, be prepared to take a breast pump with you, take time to pump every 2-4 hours to keep your milk supply up, as well as risk a breast infection or plugged milk ducts because a pump doesn't empty your breasts as effectively as your little one does.
It can also be pretty tramatic to them to have such a disruption in their little lives as mommy being suddenly gone, since you'll be his/her primary caregiver and source of comfort and food. Not to say that it can't be done, but I wouldn't recommend it. Go with your motherly instincts, girl! You know yourself best! Would you be able to enjoy the wedding if you went alone, or would you be worried about baby the whole time?
Doctors don't recommend traveling with a baby that young primarily because of exposure to germs. If you are going to be flying, this might be a concern, but by breastfeeding you are already protecting his/her little body from everything you have ever been exposed to so it's not really an issue! The weather will be warm, so you don't need to worry about baby getting a chill and it won't be flu season so germs will be at a minimum!
I'd say, go to your sister's wedding, have fun! Just bring baby along so you can nurse as needed! Chances are baby will sleep most of the time and both you and baby will be happy! Good luck girly!
About me: married to my best friend for 5 years and blessed mommy of a beautiful, curious, 17 month old little girl that I exclusively breastfed for the first 14 months of her life (and took to England and Italy as a 5 month old!)... loving every day of motherhood! :)

At 2 months old you'll probably just be establishing good breastfeeding habits. As natural as it is it can be hard to get started. My first and my third had issues and it took about 6 weeks to really get going, although my second latched right on and never had an issue. So I don't think you should leave your 2 mos old to go to your sisters wedding. Although I don't see why you can't travel with a 2 mos old. I took my 2nd to Tahoe at a month old for a week. I wouldn't pass the baby around to everyone but I'd take him/her to the wedding.

Take your baby with you! It is crazy to even think of leaving...
I went to a funeral out of state just weeks after my 1st was born and then also went to a wedding 2 states away soon after my 2nd was born. YES you will be tired and emotional ect... but so much better than how hard it will be if you leave.
As for those who think you are being a "new mom" news flash - you are and you have every right to want to be with your new born! I just think it is insane for anyone to question that need.
I say your sister needs to plan her wedding where she wants and you, your hubby AND your baby can take a nice mini vacation to be there for her big day.
Good luck and follow your heart!!!

Hi C.! I think you should ask your doctor why he/she is advising you not to travel with a 2 mo. old.

The best tip I have ever heard for flying with an infant is to nurse during takeoff and landing to reduce pressure in the baby's ears.

If you choose not to take the baby, then you need to do what is right for you and your family. There is alot to adjust to with being a new mom and you are entitled to protect that time.

NO ONE should expect you to leave your baby for any length of time. Simply put, you will know your baby best and they can't make decisions for you. You are NOT being irrational.

Congratulations on your growing family! Oh, and DO what is best for you, not what your family thinks is "fair" and "reasonable".

You never really know what it's going to be like for sure, but it would have been impossible to travel away from my baby at that point and I think you are being very sensible to think ahead to how you will be feeling. Your family is not being reasonable. At that point, most moms have trouble leaving their babies to go to the movies, much less to travel.

I did travel with my newborn. My FIL was in the last stages of pancreatic cancer so I flew cross country when my baby was 2 wks old, again at 6 wks, at 3 mos, then again at 4 mos. We also had an opportunity to go on a paid business trip to Indonesia that we didn't take. I talked to several doctors and they all said pretty much the same thing about traveling with an infant (including international). Although it is not recommended, as long as you are breast feeding then it is fine. Don't let people touch your baby (one friend recommended keeping the stroller covered so that people don't touch, slings also help).

If you are really in a bind bring the baby with you. At that age they sleep a lot, just want to be held. Although you need a lot of gear it is the easiest time to travel with a baby. Breast feeding on a plane is a snap. No one even looks twice. Just make sure to bring a change of clothes for both of you on the plane. Babies this age spit up and also have big messy diapers.

There is one other thing, families and friends are constantly pressuring in different ways for you to do things their way. As a mom you have to do what is right for your baby. You are the only one who can decide what seems reasonable. You will make mistakes and learn from them. It will be easier if you start out trusting yourself and your instincts. It will mean saying no sometimes when others want or expect you to say yes. No one else will stand up for your baby but you.