Advice on Mania Episode During Pregnancy

Look me up C.. I would love to talk to you more about this! I live in Niagara and own my own business and am listed with a phone number. Call if you wanna talk. Hugs and just know I am here for support!

I can't relate to the bi-polar issue or being on meds or anything, but I can relate to being single and in the poor-house. I really prefer to be poor and happy and emotionally available, than stressed and racing on the rat-wheel and preoccupied with out-of-family issues. That might change as my kids get older (they are 5yo and 3yo), and finances might change if I get married, but either way I am not "worried" and I really am grateful that options exist that lighten the "financial load" for us single moms!

Peace,
Angie

We ALL have things about ourselves we would like to change and don't know why they are the way the are, we are human, not perfect. This I know is true. you were created perfectly by a perfect God who has a perfect plan for you...You, C. were made exactly the way you are for a reason. Psalms 139:14 says: you are fearfully and wonderfully made. God created you, He knit you together in your mother's womb. He knew you then and He knows you now. That is true about your son too. Hold onto this promise, Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans that I have for you, C., declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God bless you and your son!!!

C., I feel your anxiety! I have been on three diffeent anti-depressants since I was 16. We also have a history of bi-polar disorder and, I have no idea how to spell it, skitsophrenia. I am/have been so worried that I would have it and right now I am almost 7 months pregnant but before I even knew I was pregnant I was sitting at work (I am a legal secretary) and got the overwhelming feeling that I had to go home and clean my entire house. I mean entire. I had to paint and fix a crack in my ceiling and it all had to be done at the same time. I was shaking, crying, puking and talking to myself all at the same time. Luckily my mom happened to call because I didn't answer at work and she tried to settle me down over the phone but she hung up and called my aunt to come over and be with me. When my aunt got there, and after I attempted to fix the crack and it didn't work and I vacuumed my entire house (we have two stories and a basement) I wrapped myself in a blanket and was laying on the couch crying uncontrollably. Turns out I was pregnant. We tried for a long time to get pregnant and they told me that my hormones were all screwed up and I just had to adjust some things and took progesterone pills and that made me feel a lot better, even with the infertility stresses. Since then I have tried to simplify my life, doing one day at a time. I am not currently on medication and have found that I can balance things without getting too stressed out. We are also on county assistance because I don't make over $10.00 per hour and we own our house and also have a six year old. I was a single parent with my daughter and let me tell you, this baby hasn't even arrived yet and I think that being single was easier in many ways. First, you have to realize that you are doing this on your own, having assistance doesn't change that. You are obviously a strong woman! I used to stress about being on assistance and people thinking less of me and me as a parent but you can't think like that. Yes you decided to do this on your own, you have a job, you have all your own things, you are not sitting at home doing nothing. You deserve all the help you are getting! Don't feel bad. It is much more important to be at home with your son in the evenings and not worring about work. Being a secretary is nice in the respect that you don't go home and worry about work. Your work and home life should be completely separate I think and it can be as a secretary. I do have a problem with "not being busy enough" at work and do a lot of online looking, shopping, etc. and have found that that stresses me out more. It gives me more time to think about everything that needs to be done at my house! So there is a happy balance out there somewhere and lets hope we both find it!!

How was that for a long response?? You are not alone!!

Since you are obviously qualified for the marketing position, is there any way you could have the same type of job, yet maybe fewer hours or do some work from home or another less stressful environment? Or even be able to delegate so your responsibilities are less strenuous?

C.,

There are a number of functioning women (and men for that matter) out there who have bipolar disorder. I don't really understand why you were told to avoid stressful situations. I think life itself is full of stressors! If you're bipolar you're going to have to learn how to deal with things as they come. It IS possible, but it takes a lot of self awareness and support. Honestly YOU are the only one who knows what you can or cannot handle.

You're going to have to learn your triggers. It takes awhile. You are going to have to seek proper medical care too. You're not alone, and your situation is no where NEAR helpless.

Plus, look at the bright side. At least you have a job, and you're wanting to work and raise your son in the best way you know how. I see a lot of positive in that! If your job makes you happy (you say that you laugh everyday) maybe the extra money in a different profession really isn't worth it. It's a personal decision that you will have to make.

Please feel free to contact me personally. I understand your fears.

R.

Hi,

Much like Sarah P. I am bi-polar and am working on my PhD in an extremely competitive and stressful feild. I have a 1.5 year old boy, but I am married, so I have a different set of challenges than you in that area!

Sarah's advice was excellent--I more just wanted to let you know that bi-polar is super common and there is absolutely NO REASON for you to limit your career because of it! If you think that you will have manic episodes because of stress, you will. As a fellow bi-polar person I can tell you that your mind is an incredibly powerful thing. The ideas I have convinced myself of at times are astounding. Just as you can lose control during rapid-cycling, so can you manage yourself to have a good-paying and satifying career. In fact, it has been reported that bi-polar individuals (on average) have a higher IQ! I was juvenille onset diagnosed, so I have been dealing with this for about 16 years. I was on medication for a long time--it worked very well for me. For the last five years I have been able to live without medication, but I work very, very hard to control my moods through diet, excersize, meditation, yoga, and therapy. I like my life, and I like how I am, although I do have rough periods sometimes.

One item to consider is that your hormone fluctuations may have triggered your manic episode during your pregnancy, NOT STRESS!!! It may be beneficial to track your moods over the course of a few months. I did it for one year and found that my worst episodes were ALWAYS two weeks before my period, and about three days after my period started. I do not think there is a miracle hormone pill that you can take to aleviate this, but just being aware of it has allowed me to identify the cause of my emotions and now I am super aware of myself and my surrondings at that time and maybe do an extra yoga class, or really watch my diet (no sweets, it's an AWFUL trigger for me) or spend a little extra time doing an activity that makes me feels good about myself--I am a great baker, knitter, and seamstress! Benefits of being bi-polar is that you are also extremely intellegent and talented!

Anyhow, if you want to talk please email me. I don't know any other moms who are bi-polar, so it would be nice for me too.

M.

I only have one thing to add: if you do decide to change jobs, make sure your employer knows and UNDERSTANDS about your mental health.

When I was working, my supervisors had no compassion or understanding of what depression meant and how it affected me and my job. I was on medication after medication, each one failing after a while. I missed a lot of work directly because of that, and they used that against me when it came time for raises, even though I did a fantastic job when I was there and the meds were working.

Of course I worked as a sales clerk in a big-box retailer, so things might be significantly different where you work/would work.

If you anticipate problems possibly coming up as a result of stress, learn what your rights are as an employee BEFORE you take any new job, so you know where you stand and so your employer won't be able to walk all over you when you are most vulnerable, like mine did to me.

I have been a single mom for 17 years and can be a basket case (not manic) emotionally. Single parenting is actually easier in a lot of ways because counting on someone else who doesn't pull through makes me feel crazy.

The hardest part of parenting alone is parenting alone. You will need a network of great people to lean on no matter what. Take time to get to know other parents who are close by (not on the other end of the universe). You will need them to sit down with and to help you with you child as he grows. Consider moving if you live in an isolated neighborhood - find people with kids!

Tell yourself every day: "I can think and feel at the same time." Tell yourself: "I have plenty of support and can find more when I need it."

Don't panic... it will all work out. Truly, single parents are only as vulnerable as we make ourselves. Get a network around you and tell yourself positive things.

I wish you the best of luck!

P.S. I have a friend (half-time single dad) who is manic and on meds. He makes a really great dad because he is so emotionally sensitive. I am guessing this is a trait of MD people. Believe in yourself ~ if he can do it well, anyone can!

Hi C.! I think you are very brave to post this and be thinking about your options.

I'm not bipolar, but I have always had tendencies to anxiety disorder. When I was in grad school, the pressure of the work, plus my husband being in grad school, (plus perhaps the ageing process?), plus a challenging child (about 1/2-way through) really intensified all of my symptoms. By the time I finished my PhD, I knew that I didn't want to have a full-time position in academia. Part of it was just the desire not to be stressed from trying to work full time and take care of a family (never having time to enjoy my life, have hobbies, do any 1 thing to my complete satisfaction, see my family operating at their best, etc). And part of it was knowing that if I kept up that stress level, I was heading to an early grave w/my anxiety issues.

In other words, I decided to stay home in large part in order to manage my stress level so that I wasn't experiencing a constant anxiety attack (which was my life at that point). Managing my stress level in this way has basically ended the anxiety attacks I was having. So I can understand the wisdom of taking a lower stress job (esp. while being a single parent) in order to manage your symptoms. I am trying to find ways to work from home, by writing, for example, and making this situation work for me.

However, I find that hormones make a huge difference in my anxiety levels even w/staying home. Maybe this relates to your pregnancy experience. During my transition months (4 & 7) w/my 2nd child (a girl), I had INTENSE, chemically-driven anxiety episodes. And since my cycle has restarted last fall, I notice anxiety symptoms in relation to my hormones. I might be going back on birth control just to see if it helps. I can see how the intense hormonal changes during the last month could trigger any susceptibility you have (emotional ups-and-downs are common in the 3rd trimester anyway, but I'm sure are much worse if you have any psychological concerns already).

So maybe hormones and stress play a role for you.

If the meds are working, and if you're happy, then I wouldn't change much. I understand $ being a concern, and I wonder if there's a way for you to do more from home. For example, if you have that kind of corporate experience, could you teach in a business program at a local tech/community college? Or what about teaching an on-line course through a local or an on-line campus? I don't know about the $, but the flexibility and benefits might be greater, and it might give you more options in the future.

If you think meds allow you to handle more stress, you might consider taking a more intense position (as someone has already suggested). Or again, you might look for creative ways to make more $ from home.

Being a single parent is difficult. I have the "luxury" of staying home (and living on a very frugal budget) b/c my husband works. But we have no extended family nearby, so child care costs are all our own. You can make it work--I think if you're happy and satisfied, you can make the $ situation work for you. It's easier than doing things the other way around!

Best wishes--J.

C., go ahead and use your talents and skills in a position you love. It does not have to be "more stress." Stress is something we choose to do, it is not a situation we are in, or a responsibility we have. For my own health I had to learn to stop stressing to things. After all, in school you are graded on how well you show your knowledge as asked, not on how well you stressed about it. On the job, you are judged (usually) on your leadership, work successes, etc. Stressing to things actually makes you do those things less well, as it diverts your energy.

I would recommend that you take a stress reduction course, maintain great self-care (nutrition and exercise) and stay on your medication. I do think that having a higher paying job will be better for you, as you will be better able to care for yourself and your son.

Although I am not bi polar, I do suffer from depression. Its great that you have stepped forward like this and shared your story. I hope other people out there will respond to you, even if they do it in private. Its important to express this side of life, so people out there know that they are not alone, and that suffering from depression or bi polar or whatever is ok. Good Luck to you and I am very glad you stepped up and got help. If i could send you a virtal flower on this site I would.

C.,

I am so sorry that you have to live with bi-polar. I know several people who are living with this and it is certainly not easy. Wow, telling you to avoid stress is a tough one! Your comment about your job made me want to respond to you...I work from home and earn residual pay. We help people save money on their healthcare needs, and help others work from home. If you want to check out becoming your OWN boss so you can quit that secretarial job some day, I would love to help you. I have recorded a call that you can listen to: ###-###-####, ext. 69052#. I hope that your little boy ends up happy and healthy and that you enjoy every single moment you have with him. My 2 boys are the lights of my life as well!! Have a great day.

C.,

If you are on your medications and they are working for you go out and do what you love. It seems like you are missing the marketing area in your life. Creativity is also an area which must be taken care of. There is good stress and bad stress. There's the stress a person gets from having passion for something and there's also the negative stress from not having your personal needs met. Your son will be the first one to pick up on how you are feeling. Don't allow this illness to keep you from doing what you love. Have you had any additional mania episodes since your pregnancy? If the answer is no what or who is keeping you down? These episodes can happen at any time or place in your life. You can't just sit back in fear because "it" might happen again. Also, there will probably be a time when your medications will need to be adjusted. This is very normal when your dealing with a situation such as this. I want you to know that I completely understand your situation. I know what it is like to have to deal with this challenge everyday of your life. It's funny, I'm scared to death to have a child because of what "might" happen with me during the pregnancy and the after affects. We are working with an infertility clinic right now and I'm not sure if I even want to go forward. This is the stress which I deal with on a daily basis right now. If everything is going great in your life, don't let the fear of the unknown stop you from doing what you love. Go out and get that job that will make you happy and provide a future for you and your son. Everything else will work it self out.

Hi C., how are you? I'd been meaning to write you ever since reading your post but it's hard for me to get to the computer with my new little one. I'm the one who wrote about a month ago that I was on Seroquel and worried about the effect it could have on my unborn baby. I delivered my precious miracle daughter Mar. 11 and she's apparently healthy so my fears are lessened. I just wanted to share some things with you and also offer a supportive "ear" if you need.
I was diagnosed bipolar in '98 (always had symptoms and went to numerous doctors but it took hospitalization and a doctor who knew what to look for, to correctly diagnose me.) After trying different meds over the years I'm now on only one, Seroquel, which is managing my symptoms well (I know I'm very lucky, many others have to be on multiple meds and are still trying to find "balance".) I was 34 when I was finally diagnosed, so please don't feel alone, also please don't feel ashamed. Yes it's important to avoid stress (I'm lucky to have a job I love, but my job doesn't pay well either. I'm lucky to be married so we have two incomes, though hubby doesn't make much more than I do.) I hope this finds you doing well, and belated congrats on your beautiful (toddler!) boy! Gotta go, my almost-3-week-old daughter is squeaking for her bottle. Please feel free to write me back if you like, and hang in there! *Peace* ~melissa :)

I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, it's not really like being Bipolar but it could possibly cause just as many problems.

Before I had Torri, my oldest, I seemed to have episodes almost every day. For some reason, since she came along things have gone much more smoothly. I only seem to have incidents rarely now, and only in extreme situations.

I have a really supportive man in my life and he helps with everything. So, if I'm having a crazy day he just takes over and gives me the time I need to regain control. The biggest problems we have right now are financial (I'm a full-time student and he's currently laid off) and with Torri. She has some severe behavior issues.

I wish you so much luck and happiness. I know what it's like to be embarrassed over something you did when you had no idea what you were doing.

I was diagnosed with biopolar 21 years ago. I have been on and off meds for the past 21 years. What I found to be the most beneficial, the cheapest and safest for me (especially during pregnancies) is EFT. Here are a couple links if you are interested in learning more...
http://www.emofree.com/
http://www.mercola.com/forms/eftcourse.htm

I don't have too much advice to give right now (unless you have a specific question I am missing), but I am a mom that was diagnosed as bi-polar after my daughter was born. I am sure I have amways shown signs of it, but was officially diagnosed and put on meds for it 4 years ago. I went off my meds when she was 1 and have since had another baby and am on new meds now. If you want to talk, I am here.

Thanks and Good Luck, I know how hard it can be.

I have no advice for you. Only encouragement! You can do and be anything if you have the mind to just do it. I know it's easier said then done and quite cliche but I believe it. As far as a job look into a home based business. There are many out there and it's quite possible it could be the thing you are looking for. Check out arbonne.com and really research it. Good luck, S. J

I had a maniac episode at age 36 and have not had one since. It was during a time of extreme stress also, to the point that I became pyschotic and had to be hospitalized. I'm happy to say that with med's I have not had any more problems. I still work in a very stressful job and am raising a young child at age 43.My husband and I work different shifts with different days off. Feels like my single parent days. I think you should consult your pyschiatrist or pyschologist about your work environment and stress level to see if you could go back to your former profession. I don't see why you couldn't do what you love.

Hi C. -
You are not alone! I am also a single mother living with bipolar disorder. It can be hard. But it is, in some ways, an incredible blessing. I know, it doesn't sound true, but to me, it is. I have a unique perspective. I know things that others can't know. I have experienced life in a different way that makes me incredibly understanding and empathetic to others going through a rough time. I understand my daughter when she is crying for no reason. I have had some extremely unique experiences that allow me to share some very funny stories.

My own feeling about your doctors, especially with one manic episode that sounds like it didn't last very long, is that their advice about avoiding stress is ridiculous. Your life shouldn't end because you are bipolar. Your skills and aspirations shouldn't fall by the wayside simply because you had one manic episode. How insane. I drove to Los Angeles naked (sobbing the whole way) and tried to walk into a DQ and have them hand over their money before I was on meds. Now, I'm working on my PhD, working full-time in a role with great responsibility, and haven't had any crazy episodes in years. Why avoid stress when you are taking your medication? That's pure insanity. You do whatever is best for you and your son. It's your life. It's not the doctors' who, in my experience, have tried to scare me out of being myself. I am smart, capable, and wonderful - no mental condition is going to keep me from being those things. To me, it's a trivial hurdle that can be surmounted. I may just have to be more focused and more determined than others, but I am capable and determined enough to do it. I can't remember who, but someone said that walls are simply there to find out how much you want it. You make the choice to let the wall keep you out or to hurdle the wall based on how much you want something.

If you do choose to stay in a low-paying job because it's what YOU want to do - know that you will make it work. There may be times when you wonder how you are going to feed yoruself and your child - I know there are times when I wonder that - but because it is important enough to me, I make it work. You will too. I would be happy to talk with you more -

Hang in there - know that you are not alone and that my thoughts are with you.

Hi C.! While I have not been diagnosed with bi-polar, I do sometimes wonder what the heck kind of hormone rush causes me to behave the way I sometimes do. The stress of single motherhood is greater than I could have imagined.....anyway, did not mean to make this about me. The thing is, it is so much more valuable for you to laugh every day (GREAT stress reliever) than it is for you to place yourself in a position of jeopardy in order to make more money. Try to keep your chin up and your priorities in check. It sounds as if you are a caring and loving mommy and I bet you are way too hard on yourself. Regarding being on the dole I can relate and have decided to accept it as a universal gift which is helping our path toward prosperity. Enjoy this time with your child and be glad to get something nice from our government which improves your life daily. Keep in touch and hang in there! A.