Hello, my name is A. and I have a question for everyone. My son is 23 months old and is in daycare 3 days a week. He's been there since June of this year. But yet everytime I drop him off, he throws a fit. Screaming & crying and yelling for his momma. I thought by now he would be alittle use to the routine and understand that I am going to come back at the end of the day. Has anyone experienced this? And what did you do?
Things got better for my little guy. I started a morning routine with him. Every morning, we go and say good morning to the class chinchilla, then we sit at the table and eat a doughnut & juice with the other kids. I say I love you and walk out. And he is doing fine. He knows every morning that we go and say hello to the chinchilla, and he looks forward to it. Thanks to everyone who replied, I appreciate your advice at my time of need. I like this mamasource! :)
Absolutely! My daughter has been in the same daycare since she was 8 weeks old. I found that taking her favorite fruit was helpful. So she takes a bananna to daycare each morning and we dont get as many fits as before.
I have an in home daycare and have nannied for many years so I have a great deal of experience with this. I would recommend asking the daycare how long he cries after you leave. A lot of children will cry in hopes that the parent will stay but often times not but 1 min. after they leave the room the crying stops. I had one family that was very uncomfortable and I told them to walk into the bedroom and listen to this just so that they would feel more comfortable in leaving and sure enough they did. They realized the kids liked me they just wanted mom to stay there also. It usually is not a problem with the child not liking daycare but then again it might be. I would recommend staying and interacting with your child and their caregiver for a couple minutes in order for your son to realize that you like this person so it is ok for them to like it. I also would ask the daycare if it is alright to bring comfort items such as a blanket, stuffed animal, even a picture of you or some other object of yours. The object sounds stupid but this really gives kids the idea that not only will you come back to them but you will come back to get your .... as well. This is all stuff that I learned while getting my degree in Early Childhood Education and trust me they work!
On that note I also agree with the women that posted below... if you have a funny feeling about the daycare or if you don't like it much then I would recommend changing because it may make all the difference.
Good luck and hang in there!!
i would love to watch your son mine is 10 months old my name is C.
How is he when you pick him up? Does he want to stay and play, is he enjoying himself? If he seems to be having a good time and doesn't break down like "get me out of here" then I wouldn't worry. IF he is so ready to get out of dodge when you get there you might want to look into the center a little more. I worked with children this age at daycare and even the ones who had been there since they were 6 weeks old commonly had seperation anxiety during drop off at that age (12-24 mos), but the same kid who threw a fit for mommy in the morning would throw a fit about leaving in the pm. It's a dfficulty with transitions toddlers have. If he doesn't seem to want to be there at all there may be a problem that you may need to look into - chances are he's fine a minute after you leave and has a great time - he's just letting you know how much he loves you. Some mom's give a kiss on the kids hand with their lipstick to remember them or give them something that "mommy needs back when she gets back". Hope this helps!
One final bit of advice - have a small drop-off routine, for example, hang up his jacket, say good morning to the teacher or class pet, give him a kiss/hug, then leave. Hanging around only lengthens and strengthens his fit. Most children calm down quicker when their mom/dad leaves, he's going to keep up the show as long as you're there to watch!
My son is 23 months and did the same thing at a previous daycare. I began to have a weird feeling and each time I went to pick him up I would watch him. He would walk around and looked so unhappy. I put him in another daycare and it's like night and day now. He doesn't even care that I leave 99% of the time. I firmly believe that he did not like that facility. He still has his days, don't get me wrong, but for the most part he's much happier. Good luck!
I also do daycare out of my house, and i also have found that as soon as the door closes they will stop crying. Kids dont know what their parents are doing when they leave them at daycare. all kids are affraid you are having run without them. I also agree with the others that if when you show up to pick him up and he doesnt want to leave then there is nothing wrong, but if he runs you over and heads for the car the moment he sees you then you might want to find somewhere else for him.
my son is about the same age and he still does the same thing. at that age they forget yesterday so its new to them everyday. dont worry, he will be fine. he will quit crying 5 min later, it doesnt usually last very long. but you cant let him know that it worries you to see him cry because then it becomes a habbit and he will eventually use it to get his way. your not alone. we all go throught it and it is tough but it will eventually stop.
A.
My son cried when I would leave him at 4 year preschool and he was in a daycare setting before that. I have worked full time since he was born so it is nothing new to him. He just likes being with mom and dad and at home. Like the other lady said make sure that the daycare he is at is loving and warm and you are allowed to call anytime. My son went to a lady out of her house and she was very loving to him........as soon as I would leave he would be fine. A lot of times it is for the moms benefit :) :) Good luck
We had luck with working with his primary care givers so that when we would drop our little guy off they immediately have him engaged in playing with a toy or talking about what they will be doing that day. That seemed to ease the transition.
If there's other signs that accompany it, however, like he's uneasy before he's to be dropped off--or scared or nervous about the place or the caregivers--that might be a sign something else is up.
Good luck!
I worked in a daycare for many years when I was in college. I seen this every single day. You didn't say what you do in your drop of routine. How do you react to his screaming and crying? Your best reaction would be to hug, kiss and tell him you'll see him later. And then leave! Don't hang around it just makes it worse because you're giving him what he wants...you to stay. I always found it was best if the parents only stay long enough to put personal items away, if that's required at the daycare, and hug and kiss the child and then leave as quickly as possible. I know that sounds like you're deserting them but it makes a much easier transition. Talk to your child care provider too. They deal with it everday, they might have suggestions as to what's worked for families at thier center. Good Luck!
A.,
It can take time for them to adjust, but I agree with you that two months should be enough. Was he in daycare before? My son adjusted in about 2 weeks-- but it was hard to leave him there crying.
Do you like your daycare? Are you satisfied that it is a warm, nuturing place and that he is reacting to you leaving and not his being left there? If so, does he stop once you leave? If yes to both...just keep on doing what you are doing and hoepfully he will adjust soon. The girls at my son's daycare give a special sticker if Brendan is upset on a particular day-- and immediately involve him in an activity. See if that will help!!
I've been there--- it can throw off your whole day.
My daughter is 22 months old and has been in daycare for a year now and there are still times when she will cry and not want me to go. Does he have any special friends at daycare that are there when he is dropped off? I find that if certain friends are there and my daughter gets interested in a game or video with them then she's just gives me a quick kiss and goes to play. Another thing that works for me is to offer my daughter to color - she absolutely loves that. So if there is something inparticular that is of interest to your son, make it available to him at the drop off time and perhaps that will make it easier. The times when they cry for you tend to be especially heart-wrenching, I know, and it's so hard - I hope you find something that works for you and your little guy!
personally, I would not take my child there anymore and ask the state to investigate to see if they've had any previous complaints in regards to this facility. 23 months if it were a comfortable place he would not react this way. I'm a mother of 6! Trust me-the behavior of a child is nothing to take lightly. Good luck, you and little guy are in my prayers!
R.
I have been a datcare teacher for 15 years and I have found that parents that hang around in the mornings too long just drag it out and make the trasition harder on the child.although the youngest I had was 2 1/2, so that may be a little different.Let them know you love them and once you have said your goodbyes, only one goodbye and eventually they will get use to it. Some have a harder time than others.Is your child also one that don't want to leave when you pick them up? If so then you have nothing to worry about. If this child has cried all day I'm sure that the caretaker would let you know.Where I work we usually suggest that you call in later in the day and check with your childs teacher. I would not suggest that you stop in throuhout the day until they get over this or the crying spell will just start all over againand this is hard on the staff.When and if you do stop in sometime for a visit make it clear to your child that morning that you are only stopping for lunch and that it's not time to go home.Let them get use to the schedule.Goodluck.
