So, my youngest son is 2 1/2 years old. He has always been my stubborn, strong willed child in every sense possible. The daycare that he goes to 5 days a week tried to start potty training him before he was even 2. I disagreed with them starting so early because he didn't show any signs of being ready. He screamed and cried every time I tried to get him to go, so I stopped trying at home. He just didn't seem ready. They kept trying intermittently (they wanted him to move up into the next class that was potty trained) until about 3 months ago when I told them to stop trying until I told them to restart training. For the past 3 weeks, he has been grabbing himself and asking me to change him when he has peed or pooped. This morning, for the third time in 1 week, he took his poop filled diaper off and proceeded to jump bare-bottomed all over his room smearing poo everywhere he went. I HAVE HAD IT! I put him in underwear and set a timer to take him every 10 minutes. He would sit there long enough for me to read him 2 books. 3 hours later, we have 3 wet pairs of underwear. One of the pairs we found stuffed beside his brothers bed while he was streaking through the house. He has NEVER peed in the potty for us at home. He goes to the potty with me and his big brother, we tried letting him pee outside, we have a potty seat that sings and a Thomas the Train big potty seat. I have tried offering treats and trips to the park. Nothing has worked. I don't know how to proceed. His brother potty trained in 2 weeks right after he turned 3. SO easy!
So mamma's, what is your advice?
Thanks everyone for your help! The underwear and potty are put away. He is happily back in diapers for the time being. THANKS AGAIN!
He's not ready. Put him back into diapers and let him know that when he's ready to go in the potty, you'll help him.
You're putting too much stress on this. My eldest was 3 and a half when he really showed interest. My youngest was two and a half. Every baby is different. Quit comparing him to his brother.
My advice? He's clearly not ready.
You're making this a power struggle and it shouldn't be.
When HE is ready, it will happen relatively quickly.
Stop. Just stop. He does not have to be potty trained now. I think your day care was ridiculous for attempting to do it at such a young age before he was showing any signs of even being ready or interested. Maybe it's time to find a different day care. If they know anything about child development, they should know better.
You are going to drive yourself crazy over this and create all kinds of stress for your son - so not necessary. You said your son is 2.5 and his brother trained just after he turned 3 - AND every child is different. Why are you expecting him to actually train EARLIER? He almost sounds like he is actively rebelling against the whole potty training process. Back off, and wait. My daughter didn't train until she was just past 3.5. Some might say that's too long - but why? She was not ready until then, and then she trained just fine. As long as they are out of diapers by the time kindergarten roles around, it's fine.
My pediatrician said it was normal for boys to be well into their 4s before they are fully potty trained, and only practice with him when he shows signs of interest. If you force the issue, it could backfire and have a negative affect on him. Some kids, including boys can be potty trained at two years of age. I was shocked to see one two year old boy at the park who was potty trained already.
The daycare he's going at should respect your wishes about not pushing the issue at this point. If they cannot do that, then perhaps seek another daycare program for him. They can do more harm than good if they (especially not being his parents), force the issue.
If it were me, I would put him back in diapers, and let this pass for a while before trying to potty train him again. That way you can start fresh and create an encouraging and positive experience. Try not to let that daycare run how you bring up your son. If I experienced what you did with the daycare disrespecting my wishes on this issue, I would confront them and it wouldn't be nice.
So take a break for a while, change daycares (if you can), and then try again later on down the road. :-)
my son didn't respond well to just being in underwear--they still felt like a diaper to him so he would just go in them. What worked for us was letting him be completely bare-bottomed while at home, and then he had to help me clean up the mess if it didn't make it in the potty. It wasn't punishment at all, but it also made him responsible for the mess he made instead of it just magically disappearing. I posted a few months ago about a friend of mine whose son was "painting" with his poo, and she washed him off with cold-ish water and made him help clean all that up too. He never did it again!
He deffinatly is asserting independence I have an independant little girl who will be 3 in november and potty trained for nearly 1 year. No rewards No timer we did the naked method but that can be a problem for a daycare going child. I suggest that when he is home in the evenings and weekends to let him run naked. ( you can see signs of gotta go easier) We bought a potty with a flip cousion (boy side/girl side) any time you see him fixin to or looking like he has to potty swoop him up and sit him on it. Place it in the front room with toys and easy access for you both(you can work on gettin him to the actual bathroom when he has it mastered) when you go somewhere take a travel seat and just toss it in a tote bag to carry in take him in as soon as you get there sit him on it for a few minutes and depending on how long your there do this periodically( time depending on if he went or not) ALSO GET INTO THE ROUTINE OF SITTING ON IT BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE. hE DOESNT HAVE TO GO JUST "TRY" limit drinks to 1/4 cup of whatever he drinks every hour or two. so you can really moniter how often he is likely to go. no more diapers or pull ups Buy underwear and lots of easy pull on pants and from then on no more "diapers" We placed a puppy pad in the car seat for just in case accidents( easy 5 bux at walmart for a jumbo pack) no drinks in the car and if its a long car ride once again periodically take him to "try" When it comes to day care send plenty of underwear and pull on pants for the day and walmart bags for the accident bottoms. You may encounter ressistance but just keep at it dont give up or give in its all about asserting independance and within a few weeks you should be golden (or close)
Good luck!!! You can do It!!
Hi,
I only have a girl, but take care of friends/family members boy's, so I know a little about both when it comes to potty training. First off, in my opinion boys generally train later than girls. Second off, there is no right time according to age when to do it, its when they are ready. Looking for clues, can they hold it for long periods of time, can they communicate they need to use potty. For myself, I tried w/my daughter at 2, no luck. At 2.5, not much better. At about 1 month before she turned 3 I tried and it worked. I probably would've trained her sometime in her 3's, but had to put her in a preschool where the kids had to be trained asap.
I read this in a parenting books, insturucting to ONLY change diaper in bathroom. When they poop, have them watch you empty diaper into toilet. Then you make them sit on the potty all of the time, trying to do it every hr, (or when you think they will need to go). My friend swears by taking the potty training kid to pick out their fav character underwear, but my daughter wasn't too impressed with this. I used candy to reward my daughter,but you mentioned this didnt work. Pick something he really likes, even if its a toy, etc.
ALSO, DO NOT use diapers or pull ups (only pull ups that have cool alert or cloth-best choice). This is HUGE, they don't like to be cold and wet, so this reinforces potty. A couple of other tips include, a watch my friend got online, called the potty training watch. It has a little song that goes off every 30 mins (or whatever you set it to), she swears by it. Another friend would only let boy watch tv, if he was sitting,(trying), to go on the potty. Also, I've heard of moms using cherrios to have boys "aim" at in the potty. My mother in law says it was so easy to train my husband and his 3 brothers b/c they lived on a ranch and they learned by peeing outside, (I know its a little country, but it worked!)
MOST importantly though is not to worry about it, b/c they WILL train when they are ready. I can remember so clearly thinking how many others were trained before my kid and that mine would be wearing pull ups in elementary, (my daughter is very stubborn too!). I have babysat a couple of poop smearers, you are not alone!!!! Good luck and don't worry!!!
