Advice on Sickness and Daycare

Updated on April 28, 2007
J.S. asks from Cincinnati, OH
12 answers

First off, my son goes to daycare 5 days of the week as I work outside of the home full time. I know being at daycare he is more prone to illnesses, but I am feeling a bit apprehensive. My son is 9 1/2 months old, and this is his fourth ear infection. He seems to always have a bit of a cold or congestion, at least since the beginning of November. That first week of November he went to the ER and was hospitalized overnight with Bronchiolitis (RSV).

Sometimes it seems to get better for a few weeks at a time. January was a pretty good month, and so was the beginning of February. February 12 he was diagnosed with another ear infection, and he started a cold a few days ahead of that. We went back to the doctor yesterday because the daycare called and said he'd been kind of wheezing again and coughing a lot. When I saw his doctor, whom I love, she said his lungs are fine and that he has like what we would call a "head cold". He also didn't get rid of his ear infection, so we're on another antibiotic. She said to give him that and a little Pediacare for his cough. She has ruled out asthma and allergies each time, so that isn't it.

My instinct says this isn't normal. My daycare almost makes me feel guilty for bringing him in, but I'm a single mom and don't have that many sick or vacation days to take off, much less hearing my boss moan and groan when I have to leave in the middle of the day to take care of a sick child or go to a doctor's appointment. I call to check on him and the lady at the daycare makes me feel like a bad mother for not staying at home with him when he has a cold.

Has anyone else been through this? Do I just stick it out? Any other advice? How do I get over the guilt?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all of your responses. I am meeting with an ENT specialist in 2 weeks, hopefully after he can finally get rid of this. We will be discussing putting tubes in his ears. Another boy at the day care had that done before he was even 5 months old and he hasn't been sick since. Maybe that could help.

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C.F.

answers from Rochester on

I've always heard that kids get sick a ton when they are first in daycare, and then after their immune system builds up, they hardly ever get sick. Hopefully that is some consolation. My daughter is about to go into daycare part time starting Monday short term, and I am dreading her getting sick, and hoping like crazy she doesn't! I do have a friend who has had her son in daycare since he was 3 months old (now 16 months) and he had a ton of ear infections and was always sick. He got tubes put in a few months ago and has been doing really well- no ear infections since. Basically the reason why they get the ear infections is the ear doesn't have good enough drainage so the bacteria just sits there. The tubes fix that. I hope this helps!

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K.P.

answers from San Francisco on

generally the first year that a child is in daycare they are sick all the time is jsut happens all teh germs that are passed aound between that many kids even under teh best of circumstances and soooo many other parents are in your same situation they don't have the time to get off work for a sniffle so they send thier kids anyways and everyone gets sick, please don't think i'm criticizing you i did it too and i baby sit now and ppl do it all the time, so i understand but that's how it happens. if in the next 6 months or so his illness don't start slacking off then i would worry but i watch a 3 year old little girl that sounds jsut like your son, always sick, one ear infection after another and then strep throat that took 3 rounds of antibiotics to get rid of, after awahile i think children build up such a restistance to these antibiotics that the illness just keep coming back over and over becuase they never really go away to begin with, so kids jsut don't develop the immunities otehr kids do and it is something you just have to live with, you know your son better than anyone and if you think he is ok to be left with a daycare then he probally is, you can't be tehre 24/7 as much as you would like to be, not if you have to work, and most kids are no longer contagious after 24 hours on an antibiotic, also if you have him in a good day care they are trained to knwo what to look for as far as illness's go if he's just coughing or has a runny nose they are over reacting if they say anything, i'm certified as a child care provider through the state and as long as a child isn't vomiting or running a fever i try not to worry to much about it after all kids get runny noses and coughs and everything else all the time and by law i can't send a child home for an illness without those symptoms. if your child care is really that judgmental of you maybe you should look for a new one. good luck and hang in there chances are he will outgrow this. and try not to stress to much if you want to put a roof over his head you gotta work right? good luck.

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N.H.

answers from Dayton on

I feel for you. My mother in law cared for my daughter until she was 15 mos old then I had a friend watch her at our house until she was 18 mos old and I put her in daycare. At about the same age as your son, my daughter got sick with a respiratory infection and bronchiolitis. She never really got better even though I was persistent with taking her back to the doctor. At about18 mos is when she was finally diagnosed with asthma. We did three breathing treatments a day of albuterol and she never really got better. We dealt with Pediacare for a cough (which never helped) did allergy testing (she had none) dealt with runny noses, and what I call Darth Vador breathing until this past Jan - so my daughter was 27 mos old. I took her to the asthma specialist on Tuesday and they put her on pulmicort In addition to the albuterol and singulair that she takes and sent us on our way. I took her to Childrens Hospital that Sunday morning because of her cough & breathing. They treated her with 2 breathing treatments, did chest xrays (thought it was pneumonia but was just a severe asthma attack), antibiotics for an ear infection and prednisone for her lungs - she is 100% well now. We still do 3 breathing treatments - now 2 pulmicort a day and one albuterol unless she is really bad - then we can do up to 4 of those. I'm sorry for the rambling - but it may help to take your son to Children's Hospital. I haven't had to deal with a runny nose since and I can tell that my daughter finally feels better. Be peristent and don't feel guilty or bad - you are providing and hired people to care for your son while you work - that is their job. DO what you can to get your son healthy and let the judgements roll off your back. HANG IN THERE!

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D.K.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi J.,

I went through almost the exact same thing. I work full time and my daughter goes to daycare 5 days a week. She was at another daycare (Childtime in Beachwood) and she was sick for almost 6 months straight. I took her to the doctor and everytime he told me it was a cold and give her medicine for the congestion and that was it.
Finally, for a lot of reasons, being sick was one of them, we moved her to another daycare. She has been there since November and she has only had 1 cold. I believe that children get exposed to more things at daycare but they should not be constantly sick. If you want my opinion, I think that your daycare is not doing enough to clean the toys and keep the kids clean. I don't know where you live but the daycare we go to now is Tots Landing in Stow. The manager there is really nice and extremely helpful. Please feel free to email me if you want more advice or just need to talk. Go with your insticts..... its not normal for a baby to be sick all the time and if the doctor has ruled out chronic issues then you have to look at environment.
Good Luck!
:)

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A.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi J.-

Well, although my son is 2 yrs old, we have had the same problem with daycare. We got hit pretty bad with illness this winter, it was much worse than last year. Everyday there was something. Runny nose, coughing, congested, high fever here and there. It was just endless. For that part, it is normal. They just can't stop the spread of the virus as fast as it travels. In less than 5 minutes, 3 different kids put the same thing in their mouths and there ya go.

However, my daycare never makes me feel guilty by bringing him in if he is sick. Or they don't make me feel bad when I call to check in on him. He's not allowed to stay if he has diarrhea or throws up or a fever, anything else is okay. They out of all people have to realize what kind of situation us mothers are in. Bottom line, if you are not feeling comfortable with your daycare, I would pull him out. There are plenty of good schools out there and this is where your baby goes everyday. Take some time to think about it. Good Luck

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

I've been through it with my son who had bronchiolitis. The school was so upset cause they were wiping his nose every 5 minutes and he was always coughing. (Gratefully he was a happy happy child and wasn't fussy so that helped). His one teacher would make me feel so guilty about going to class and not keeping him at home or sending him to grandma's but his other teacher was always saying that EVERYONE is like that this time of year and not to worry about it. My son's doc. did diagnosis him with asthma, believed to be related to aftermas of bronchiolitis, and in Feb. of 05 (a year and half later of things like your going through)they decided to take his adnoids out and put tubes in his ears...This winter was the best one yet! My son was getting sinus infections and also pneumonia from all the congestion that would not go away even with daily medication prescribed by the doctor. Before his surgery he would be sick non-stop, on antibiotics almost non-stop, with a week break at most between them, from the end of Oct. until after spring was in full bloom. Pediatric doctors want to take as much preventive measures and are more conservative in care than going to see a specialist. If you take him to an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor, they are very very quick to put tubes in the ears (which is painless and a "life saver" for some). Relax...you are doing the best you can and that's all anyone can ask about. Is there a way to set up secondary care for your son? I send my best wishes.

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N.K.

answers from Columbus on

Hi. My daughter had problems with her ears as early as 4 months. She always had colds with hers too. She had an ear infection in either one or both ears for a month and a half straight. We ended up getting tubes put in when she was about 18 months old. My daughter went to my aunt's house so it wasn't from being in daycare. She's gonna catch a cold no matter where she goes. I worked in a daycare in the infant room for 3 years and yeah cold's and flus were contagious. I think kids are gonna get colds no matter where they are. My daughters health improved soooo much after the tubes. She is 3 now and has only had 1 ear infection. Hope this helps and good luck.

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S.H.

answers from Cleveland on

same thing happened with my daughter. I finally got a second opinion and saw an allery & asthma ped. spec. at Childrens. They did an allergy test, pos. to dust, but she was too young for the asthma test. She was put on singular and zyrtec daily, & albuteral for when she starts wheezing (as needed). It's been 2 weeks and I already see a great difference! A wheezing child is not normal! Trust your instincts, you'll always be right!

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K.P.

answers from Dayton on

Hmmm.. my daycare must not be as strict. If I had to stay home everytime my daughter coughed or had a runny nose, I would have had to stay home the entire winter. As long as they are not majorly/constantly coughing and their nose is running clear - they are allowed to come. At least no one has ever called me to come pick her up or made me feel guilty. Now if she had a fever or was acting really sick or lethargic, that is a different story. My daughter actually had to get tubes in her ears. Her ear infection would not go away even with antibiotics. She is much better since putting in the tubes. But she is still constantly with a cold.

I don't have any other advice than I feel your pain. I am so sad that she is always sick and 'sick' of her giving it to me. I try to remind myself that after about a year her immune system will be so strong. They either go through it now or when they hit school age.

K.

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M.H.

answers from Columbus on

I think I would start looking for private day care. In my experiance it is cheeper too. Good luck.

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B.R.

answers from Columbus on

J.,
I would suggest getting a second opinion about your son's health. He may just have relfux that "acts" like a cold most of the time, or maybe he does have allergies but he is too young too test. (at least that is what my dr says, Dr Boyle, Pediatric Associates) I hope he gets to feeling better! Dont feel guilty, even though your job is important, your job and responsablity to your child is more important!

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D.B.

answers from Mansfield on

I'm in the same boat as you being a single mother that simply has to go to work and I figure that your first priority is to take care of you and yours. If my son doesn't have a fever, isn't throwing up, or having diarrhea, you can pretty much bet that he's gonna be at the babysitters, other then that I kinda play it by ear it he's having so much trouble breathing that he would be better off resting then playing and I can find other arrangements then I'll make other arrangements but I figure I'm not doing anybody any favors by not brining in a paycheck. The only thing that upsets me is when mothers know that they're child is going to be throwing up because say another child did the night before and now this child isn't acting right but then they take both children to the sitters and don't say anything. Nothing frustrates me more then that because last time it happened by the time it went through everyone and mutated to the point that it hit my son, he had to be in the hospital with an IV and I did have to miss work. I hope I was able to help some.

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