Advice on Wills

Have an attorney draw up a simple will for you. That's the safest thing to do. I had a friend go through Peirce, Duke, Farrell and Tafelski. The attorney Paul Tafelski is doing simple wills for $250! It's the BEST $250 you will spend. The office is at 19/tele. Bloomfield Hills. If you google him, you can find his number.

Hi E.,
It was funny, when I got married the first thing the priest asked was ... do you have wills? It is just so important. Yes, there are software kits out there, but having done this myself and having just dealt with the consequences of my grandmother's passing when she only had a "notarized will" I really learned a good lawyer & written up documents make ALL the difference ... for your kids and your family. Find a lawyer you trust, if you want where I went to I will gladly let you know (he was way cheaper than others I had looked at and also referred from my father). Get what is called a living trust drawn up. In it you can allocate who takes care of your children, patient advocacy for you and your husband, explicit money transfer (for instance our kids will get money at the time of our death, when they are 18 and again at 30 so they don't splurge it all on something silly). I am not a lawyer, and really hated to think on that stuff too, but I can't tell you what peace of mind that little document has brought me. My husband and I got it right before we went on a quick trip to D.C. without the kids, and of course, the most horrible things go through your mind as passing thoughts. So be safe, get a lawyer. You can get what I am talking about for less than $1000 (don't pay more than that). Good luck!

We used an attorney who specializes in Estate Planning I was referred by my Finacial Planner and have set up Trusts for the kids etc. Don't recall the costs maybe $300 maybe x2 not that much. But It also helped my husband and I organize ourselves so if anything happens to one of us. And actually my husband had a serious heart attack at 35 he is fine now but he can no longer get insurance so doing this all early getting the insurance the Estate Planning before we had a crisis was huge for us. It isn't just about who are the kids are going to live with but how they will survive financially in a way that you would want them to. Plus if something happens no one wants to deal with any of that. It is something you hope you will never need but it is a load lifted off of your shoulders when it is done.

I recently looked into this because of my daughter and some decisions I wanted to be caried out if something happens to me. Look at legalzoom.com and similar type websites. It has some good info. I haven't made a decision on my format or details yet.

I just wanted to add about a guardian for your kids. One of the rules I've heard is that they should go to a female blood relative, i.e. your sister or your husband's sister. Women are the primary care givers and it would be their blood nieces and nephews.

This is extremely important!! It took me a couple years to get my husband to do it. You must protect your children and your assets! Decide who you want your children to go to and have back ups (in case the couple say no or are divorcing later) Also you need to do probate so the government does not take the lions share and leave the kids with a paltry sum. Find out stuff on the computer but my favorite is the library and that can give you a lot of info with out trying to sell you anything. Good luck and get these papers done!

I was consumed with getting my estate planning completed when I was pregnant four years ago. After discussion we decided on my best friend (single and no children) as legal guardarian since we knew that our parents would love our daughter but since they are on the threshold of retirement it wasn't the best role for them. I paid $750 for the complete package including trusts, power of attorneys, etc.

However, I have to say the Suze Orman kit (http://www.suzeorman.com/igsbase/igstemplate.cfm?SRC=SP&a...) was just as complete so we purchased that for both our parents 2 years ago and it was under $75 on QVC. Look for gift codes...she's offered it online free at times. The website also answers so many additional questions. My Mom said that was the best gift she's ever gotten and it allowed us to begin some important conversations about their future. Hopefully, we'll never have to deal with major health and other issues, but that isn't realistic.

However, times change and now my sister-in-law is a new mother and I can see us possibly changing the legal guardian in a few years so my daughter would be raised with family. So a reminder to keep the documents updated to fit you and your family needs.

Good luck

D

I am an attorney licensed in Missouri and Kansas and I can tell you that a will, if not executed properly, is NOT valid, regardless of the intention. It is critical that you DO seek the advice of an attorney. The "buy a will online" sites may not be specifically tailored to your state and thus, may be invalid. I do not know what state you are in, but simple wills are not that expensive, and well worth the price and peace of mind to know you have done it properly and that your children are protected.

I know that maybe your question has been answered for you, however, I thought I would just add my 2 cents.

It's prudent of you to be thinking about this now. In fact the best time to take action is when you are healthy.

Having a will is simply not enough. What will happen to your children if you are not dead? What if you are so incapcitated you are unable to take care of your children? what if you will need care? If you are incapcitated, would you want the doctors to try all means to revive you or would you rather DNR (do not resucitate)? What about property, businesses or other assets that you have?

I strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a good estate planner/trust attorney. Although do-it-yourself kits are available out there, I have heard that sometimes those documents may do more harm than good.

I hope this helps! And also, kudos to you for thinking of your children's well being now!

Getting a will is the most important thing you can do to protect your children, property, interests, and self. It also allows you a vehicle to pass along more intrinsic things like your beliefs, dreams, and instructions for how you would like your children raised. I don't know what state you live in, or what your budget for this type of thing is, but I urge you to do some research and find an attorney who you can relate to and who shares your vision of what you want your documents to be and use that person. We chose a personal family lawyer for our estate planning process and with using this type of attorney we have the peace of mind to know that any changes we need made as our family grows and changes will be addressed and that the document is a true reflection of who we are as people, not just a fill in the blank form letter than can get stuck in probate and challenged by family members or others who have less than the entire picture when it comes mine and my husband's wishes.

I strongly urge you to read this blog (and no, this is not the attorney that I used, though she did refer me to someone in my area). This attorney is a mom to 3 under 5 and a Mamapedia featured Mom-owned business. If you agree with her strategy, contact her and she can probably get you in touch with someone in your area to help you and your family get the best estate plan possible and some much deserved peace of mind.

http://dgvelaw.blogspot.com/

Good luck!

M.

A will does not have to be notorized.

there are "software kits" that you can buy that will walk you through writing a will. pretty much fill in the blank.

you could also go ot a lawyer.. but I would call around and ask prices.. it should not cost a lot ot write a will.. it is a pretty simple document.

yes,, the hard part is figuring out who will best raise your children if you were no longer around to do it.. it really doesnt matter what happens to your money and possessions..

we would leave our kids to their aunt.. but she lives in texas and they rearely see her and dont really know her.. so it woudl be like a stranger..

you have lots of legal ideas, but someone told me once its best for your kids to be raised by someone whose personality is close to yours, not someone who is really different from you. Even if your scattered or ultra organized just someone like you that you trust. Good luck its a tough one to go through but you feel relieved when your done.

you can go to the michigan government website and they have a basic free will right on there. It covers everything basic, doesn't get into the nitty gritty, but the way my hubby and I look at it, we don't have enough stuff to get into the nitty gritty:) It doesn't have to be notorized, but signed by two witnesses. You can state who gets your money, kids and belongings and also who is in charge of you if you are a veggie. Hope this helps.

The biggest thing to do is to decide who you would want to raise your children. Then talk with them and ask if they would take the responsibilty of raising your children.

S.