Some of this I don’t agree with 100%, but the premise is pretty clear. The only thing that I don’t agree with is that if my son was needing lunch for school, I would have probably made it for him, and deducted $2 out of his allowance the following week. My older sister used this technique with my niece and nephew, and it worked. Whatever their allowance was, if they forgot their purse/wallet, then they could not buy anything. And they never complained; they just remembered next time bring their allowance, and from then on they never forgot. Also, they never bugged my sister for money because they knew that once their allowance was gone, that was it.
The best suggestion is $1 per age. If they are 8 years old, $8 a week, etc.
Pearl 1
Allowances and Money
There comes a time in the life of every child when financial responsibility pokes its foreboding snout through the tent flap of his or her world. We call it an allowance. It usually begins when a child is five or six years old.
We give children allowances because we want to teach them money management. Kids who have to struggle with money not only become more fiscally responsible, they also become more responsible in all areas of life. In fact, it has been found that kids with good money-management skills tend to manage their jobs at school better, too.
Several helpful rules on allowances will help our kids make the most of this terrific learning experience.
Rule 1: Children do not earn their allowances. That means we do not pay them to do their chores. Being paid for chores robs them of the dignity of holding up their fair share of the family workload. The only time we’d pay them for chores is when they do our chores, that is, if we don’t want to do them.
Rule 2: Provide the allowance at the same time every week. This can be done with pay envelopes. Place the cash, plus a small invoice indicating the breakdown of the funds – for example, for a child in first grade, “$1 allowance, $6 lunch money” – inside an envelope with the child’s name on it. Sign the invoice, “Because we love you. Spend it wisely and make it last.” The child must then tend to the envelope.
Rule 3: Never insist that children save their allowance. They can’t learn to handle money if they stash their allowance in a shoe box at the back of their closet, saving it for when they get big. Kids must go through their own economic depression – wasting money, then not having any when they need it – to learn about money. In general, people – and kids, too – learn best to save only after they’ve learned how to be broke.
Rule 4: As long as they’re not engaged in illegal activity, allow children to spend, save, or waste the money any way they see fit. They can use it to hire others to do their chores. They can even hire a baby-sitter if they don’t want to go somewhere with the family.
But there’s a catch: When it’s gone, it’s gone. No more allowance until the next week’s envelope.
My (Jim’s) son Charlie learned a powerful lesson in money management the very first week he got on the allowance payroll. Our family visited a carnival, and the mid-way barkers had their way with the boy. He came home flat broke.
“Dad, what am I going to do for lunch?” Charlie said when reality struck him on Monday morning.
“Go over to your pay envelope and get your lunch money out,” I replied.
“But it’s all gone,” Charlie said.
“Oh, no, that’s really too bad. What are you going to do?” I said.
“I don’t know,” Charlie said. “Can I get some food out of the refrigerator and make a lunch?”
“Sure, if you can afford to pay for it,” I said. “Mom and I have already paid for lunches once, and we don’t want to pay for them again.”
It was a tough week for Charlie. But surviving for five days on two meals a day (we made sure they were good ones) taught him a big lesson in money management.
There will be times, however, when kids are more persistent – and more psychology devious – than Charlie. When they blow their bankroll early and shuffle up to us begging for more money before the appointed allowance time, we must become as tight as a Depression-era banker. There will be more money, sure – on allowance day. Even when our kids push the powerful guilt button, we must make sure nothing moves out of our pockets.
Observe how this dad handles daughter Steffi’s mid-week crisis.
STEFFI: “Dad, I need more allowance.”
DAD: “Yeah, that’s kind of how it is for me. I always need more money in my paycheck than I get. Have you got any ideas about what you’re going to do?”
STEFFI: “Yeah. I’m asking you. Dad, could you give me more allowance?”
DAD: “Well, I’ll be happy to give you your allowance on Saturday. But for now, maybe you’ll consider bidding on someone else’s chores around the house so you can earn more money that way.”
STEFFI: “But I need it now!”
DAD: “Boy, I bet you do. But don’t worry; you’ll get more on Saturday.”
STEFFI: “That’s not fair!”
DAD: “That could be true, and there will be more on Saturday.”
STEFFI: My friends don’t have this problem because their parents love them and give them more money.”
DAD: “I bet that’s true too, and there will be more on Saturday.
If Steffi keeps it up, Dad could put a finishing touch to the discussion by saying, “If I kept carrying on like that to my boss, how d you suppose he’d feel about my job? He’d feel like paying me less, wouldn’t he? So, do your best to solve this, Steffi. We’ll see you later."
Source: Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline, MD, and Jim Fay (www.loveandlogic.com)
