Almost 3 Year Old Is Holding Poop In.

Updated on October 07, 2012
D.B. asks from Islip, NY
6 answers

We just 'started potty training 2 weeks ago. He doing great with the pee pee but he has a meltdown to go poop on the potty. He used to go once a day even twice a day but now it's been 3 days and he's holding it. You can tell by the way he's walking and how upset he is that he is really holding it. He's on and off the potty 20 times in an hour because he says he has to go then screams and fights when he's on and wont go poopy. What can I do to help??? please!!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your comments and he finally went late lastnight. I ended up putting a little vasoline on around his butt then I took out his dinopotty (usually he goes on the big potty using his potty seat). Someone mentioned about a toddler not being able to use his stomach muscles when his legs dangle off the floor and they were right. I tried the step stool 1st but that just made him want to climb off so unwillingly I forced him to sit on the dino and it practically fell out with his feet on floor and knees up he couldn't hold it in anymore. Thank God!!! Thanks again for all your help!

More Answers

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K.

answers from Chicago on

This is really common at his age. For some reason pooping scares a lot of kids, so as a result they hold it. This leads to constipation which makes pooping hurt and then it is a vicious cycle. Run ASAP to the store and get Miralax. It softens poop. It is easy to mix into milk, juice, or water because there is no taste. Also, maybe have some type of reward system for every time he poops in the potty. My nephew got a matchbox car each time. My friend's daughter got a jellybean. Maybe get some special books that are for reading only when he is sitting on the potty.
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Little ones have little control in their lives, but they can control eating, sleeping and pooping :-/

Go to:
http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

I found this site when my then 25 month old was "holding." I was terrified he would develop encopresis. There is a wealth of information there to help you help your "poop refuser." Everything from Miralax to making it his responsibility is discussed. My guy never responded to stickers, charts, M&M's, Dum Dum pops, small toys, etc., for him I found being trained was his reward. The idea of a "power incentive" that I found on the site was what I used, and he was literally running to the potty to poop on his own in just a little over 24 hours, so I KNOW it helped.

Hang in there, approach it logically and outsmart him :)

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I wouldn't do miralax or anything else artificial on an ongoing basis. What your child is doing is completely normal - a lot of kids don't like to "part with" their poop! Stop with the potty training for a while - he's not emotionally ready. The more this turns into a battle between you two, and the more painful it is for him, the longer it will take overall. Constipation is much more of a problem than a few more months of diapers. Do the opposite of the BRAT diet - no bananas, rice or applesauce, no cheese, and increase the fiber (whole grain breads, fruit, veggies) and really increase the water. If he'll do stuff like prune juice or raisins, great, but a lot of kids won't. Be advised that a big poop after days of holding it in can be very painful as well as upsetting. You're going to have to take a break anyway, I fear. Just let this go. If he pees on the potty, great - just let that be his "success" for now. My pediatrician said you can't make them potty train, you can't make them eat, and you can't make them sleep - yet these are the battles we fight! I am a big advocate of sneaking nutrition into their diets, mind you, but not of fighting to make sure they know about it! SO sneak in the "magic poopy foods" and hope for a quick resolution.

1 mom found this helpful

D.K.

answers from Sioux City on

I used to take my little fella for a walk. We wouldn't go very far from home. Then I would take him into the restroom and tell him he had to sit until it all came out. Of course I was nice about the whole thing. I'm not saying he was though. He would pitch a fit and tell me how he hated pooping and he wasn't going to do it. I would calmly explain that we just weren't going to leave the seat until it was done. I would put incentives out there. Mine lovers sweets and I would have cookies baked or ice-cream waiting. It was not fun but I would insist on him staying on the toilet until it happened. He would cry and carry on for a long long time but I stuck to my guns. He wasn't allowed off until it was done. Keep his poop soft or it will be even a bigger struggle. Keep in mind it is probably hard for him to relax and once he gets used to going on the toilet at home you will have the battle all over again when it's time to poop in a public restroom. My son still hates going in a public restroom and he is 13. Just be more stubborn then he is and be very consistent.

1 mom found this helpful

M.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

Ditto on everything Kerstin said. Get the Mirilax before it starts leaking out, get a good reward. My DD did this and that was the only thing that helped.

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K.C.

answers from New London on

As a parent educator, I can tell you that this does happen.

One of my kids did this, too. I stayed very calm. It was constipation ...and she was afraid to see the bowel movement go into the toilet and be flushed.I saw anxiety all over her face (This does happen w/ many preschoolers). So, she resisted and cried. It was a tad scary for her. I gave her prune juice and other foods to help her eliminate. She would only go #2 in a pull-up. After a month and a half of backing off ...She was ready to go...on her own terms.

Sometimes- the child wants to do this on their own terms. He may need to have the diaper back on for this. Then, once the constipation passes, he will decide on his terms when he wants to go. This is exactly what took place w/ one of my kids.

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