Almost 3 Year Old Not Falling Asleep Until 10 Pm

Updated on January 27, 2012
M.D. asks from Chicago, IL
12 answers

My son (who turns 3 in April) has been in a twin bed since this summer. He has never been a great sleeper (restless, talking in his sleep) but we have not had problems putting him to bed. Up until recently he would stay on his bed and call out when he woke up in the morning or after his nap. He naps 1-2.5 hours generally starting around 12:30. He still needs to take his nap and asks for it many days so I don't think that is part of the problem. Bedtime has become very difficult. We generally aim to put him to bed around 8 - which was working and a good time until the last few days. He is yawning and seems tired but once we put him down he seems to get a second wind. He will play with his stuffed animals and recently started getting off of his bed to get more toys or books. Tonight my husband laid down with him until 9 and he was still wide awake. It is 10:15 and I don't think that he has fallen asleep yet. No matter what time he falls asleep he wakes up by 6:30. He also has had some nights that he has fallen asleep very late and then woken up at 5 am. I don't think that he is getting enough sleep and he is a cranky mess some days. What can I do?

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

How much time does he get int he afternoons to run jump and climb? He really need at least an hour to an hour and a half.. Otherwise he is just still full of energy.. He needs to go to the park or ride his trike on the sidewalks.. Something..

Maybe a little trampoline to jump on or an indoor climbing slide..

I also think you need to try to get him up by 2:00 or 2:30..

Of he were in daycare he would eat lunch at 11:30, get ready for nap at 12. Up at 2:00. Inside play for an hour and then outside for 2 hours.. More inside play or craft. Then dinner at 6:00, bath story and bed asleep by 8:00 at the latest.

2 moms found this helpful

A.F.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

My oldest son is almost 2 and he's been in a toddler bed since he was about one. He also doesn't go to sleep until about 10 or 11 p.m. He doesn't even take a nap during the day. I usually put him in his room for a quiet time while his younger brother sleeps. I just put him to bed at around 8 and let him play until he falls asleep. That might be what you have to do, just let him play until he falls asleep then turn off the light. With our son even if we turn off the light he gets up and turns them back on. Kids go through these phases, it will pass don't worry. :)

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M.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Sadly, and even though she (now 19) had a lul in the afternoonl, I had to nix the nap or she would stay up until 10. Rest time is a good idea. It's so hard when you just want them to go to bed. My mom always told me that it is not just good for them, but good for us that part of the night is ours and quiet. I'll keep trying!:)

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

If I read the post correctly, his naps last between one hour long and two and a half hours long -- is that right? The two and a half hour naps sound a bit long for some three-year-olds. I would limit his naps for a while and see if that makes a difference. Maybe try one hour to 90 minute naps and no more, and have him up and as active as possible no later than 1:30 or 2:00 p.m. He may get tired and cranky earlier than 8 p.m. so you may need to adjust bedtime accordingly.

It's absolutely normal, though frustrating, for kids to change napping habits, change sleep habits, get a second wind, etc. Frankly some kids will always have a tough time getting to sleep despite the best bedtiime routines in the world -- my daughter (10) still takes a long time to fall asleep because she tends to think through her day and process things, ponder things, wonder about the next day etc. once she is in bed. That is just how some kids' (and adults') minds work and they never really become people who can just lay down and be asleep quickly. I'm the same way. Not very comforting, I know. If he seems to be chattering about the day he just had, making plans for tomorrow, etc. when it's supposed to be lights out time, be sure you don't engage him or talk with him. Just remind him very quietly that talking time is done and dont' respond if he keeps chatting.

Have you tried putting on a soft CD of either music or stories when the lights go out? That helps my daughter and always has, and yes, even stories do help --she likes familiar ones she plays over and over and the sound of the voice helps her stop thinking and drift off. It might help your son focus and be still enough to settle.

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J.J.

answers from Denver on

Start dimming the lights an hour before he's supposed to go to bed, this tells your brain that it's time to wind down.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

I would cut nap to 1 hour. Let him take a nice warm bath before bed, it will relax him. My kids really stopped napping before 3 so we did a rest time. They would get their pillows and rest on the couch and watch a disney movie. Make sure he is getting enough activity throughout the day. Is he in any activities?? If not then I would try to get him into some type of program to help get his energy out. Good luck!!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Get him more physical activity.
Make him the "Light Monitor" or the "Tooth brushing Captain" etc.
Have him help, get ready instead of being told to.
My son, when he was younger, liked that. He was in charge of turning off all the lights, for example. And telling everyone "shhhhhh.... get ready for bed..." and making sure everyone brushed their teeth.
It then incorporated him into the process.

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S.P.

answers from New York on

You've gotten some good advice, and it may be that he does need more sleep, but it may just be a phase. My daughter is like this. Oddly enough she goes to sleep later when she's going through a growth spurt, which is opposite of what I've been told. Sometimes she falls asleep well by or before 9 pm, but often not, and lying down earlier just means more time waiting to fall asleep.

We've tried most of the advice below at different times, without much consistent result, so it may or may not help you. One piece of advice, I would try the other options, especially lots of physical daytime activity, before skipping a nap. That generally leads to a late afternoon meltdown and unavoidable sleep for us.

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J.☯.

answers from Springfield on

My son is the same way! He really seems to need his nap, and it can be 3 hours long. Our older son took 3 hour naps as well at that age and slept 7-8 hours each night.

I guess I just thought that was who they were! Their pattern didn't seem to fit what was in the books, but it worked for them.

My older son stopped taking naps when he was about 4. He now sleeps 11-12 hours a night (and is grouchy if he doesn't get his beauty sleep :-)

Honestly, I would let it go and start his bedtime routine a little later. Right now you're just fighting a losing battle and getting very frustrated. If he's not tired until 10:00 then just don't plan on him going to bed until then.

I wouldn't worry too much about what the clock says. Just go with the flow and what makes sense for you and your son. If he does seem overtired, I would try to make an adjustment. But if not, I really wouldn't worry.

Added:
I've also considered nixing the nap in favor of an earlier bedtime. It did not work! He get crazy overtired or slap happy and dangerous and much more difficult to put to bed. Unless we're in the car, he is tough to settle down, and sometimes even that doesn't do the trick. So nixing the nap may or may not help.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

Cut his afternoon nap down to an hour and a half or an hour. 2.5 is too long and he's not tired enough to go to sleep. His second wind is being over tired and his early 5am waking is being over tired. He's probably asking for his nap because he's in a bad cycle at night. I'd expect a few cranky days with the shorter nap, but he should reset pretty quickly. Also, don't be afraid to put him down a little earlier than 8pm. It doesn't necessarily mean that he'll wake up earlier. Usually kids are overtired by the time they are yawning.

Good luck!!

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B.B.

answers from New York on

I don't think you need to have a specific time for him to go to bed like "8:00 at the latest" unless you have to wake him up at a specific time in the morning. You have to cut out his nap most days or at least cut it down to 1- 1 1/2 hours. He is not tired at night and sounds like he eventually falls asleep out of boredom. That is why he is getting up cranky and not well rested. He also needs to run around and get physical in the afternoon, preferably in the fresh air. If this is not possible, try dancing, jumping, or anything else physical he likes. My son dropped his naps at 2 1/2 for this reason. The first few weeks were a little rough so I would take him for a car ride at around 4:30 so he could sleep for a half hour. For my son, waking him up from a nap outside of the car was like waking a hibernating bear! Hope your son responds better to it!

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Try cutting his naps to one hour. Put him down at 12:30 and go wake him up at 1:30. Make sure he has a chance to burn off steam during the day and don't let him eat sugary sweets after dinner. Good luck!

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