Almost 3 YO Won't Stay on Mat During Quiet Time

My second daughter stopped naps early too and there's not a lot you can do. Some kids nap easily and others don't.

Hello T.: I have to say as the mother of 5 and the grandmother of several angels, you have beeen blessed that your child has napped this long! I have also run a Day Care.
All of mine gave up regular naps by the time they were a little over a year. Now I have several grandchildren that have stopped regular naps by age 18 months.
Many children that do not take regular naps and can't keep quiet while the others rest, should have a seperate area to be in. They are still required to look at books, and play quietly. Ask your provider if your child can go in with the older age group that may not nap or nap as long. What do they do for those children? Often, a movie is shown, a storyteller reads to the children, I have even had children use lite brites, because they like to see the pretty designs and lights and will be quiet for long periods of time.
Often, they will gently fall asleep.
I understand the problem for your Care Givers,they have to be able to take care of the needs of many children and keep them from having a rough rest of the day so their parents aren't upset by being greeted by a sad child.
Good Luck, NanaG

Hi T.,

Some kids do give up naps early, but I feel like MOST kids still need a nap at this age. You said "I know it is too early" for him to give up naps... Does he nap at home on weekends? Is he able to make it without a meltdown by bedtime? What time does he go to bed and wake up in the a.m.?

I agree with some of the other posters that you need to talk with your daycare provider to see if there is a quiet activity he can do during nap time. The kids I provide daycare for are super active during the morning and even those who won't nap for Mom and Dad at home are tired enough to nap here. My rule is that if you are old enough to not take a nap, you have to be old enough to be quiet during nap time so other children can sleep. I care for kids that range from 8 months to 4 years old. They all nap with the exception of my daughter is is almost 6.

I disagree with those who say "if you provider is too lazy to do their job find a new one." They are doing their job by talking to you about the problem and trying to resolve it. People who care for kids on a daily basis recognize the importance of a rest time for young children, and while you can't force a child to sleep it's important to be consistent about rules and boundaries for all kinds of reasons.

It sounds like this is a new issue and may resolve itself. I would be curious to hear what happens!

Good luck!
J.

My first son stopped at 2 and that is when I found out I was pregnant with baby #2. you will just drive yourself crazy. He sleeps 12 hrs at night so I can't complain.

Hang in there.

well, Im not sure if it would work but you could try calming his nerves.

I use Magnesium for my 12 yr old who has insomnia. They say one way to administer it is you can mix epsom salt into coconut oil and put in on topically.I havent tried that.
I usually give her an epsom salt bath before bed to induce calm and sleep or I give her magnesium malate pills...every other day. You should give twice as much calcium as magnesium. They regulate each other.

Vitamin b complex calms nerves. There is a liquid form that you drop under the tounge. It is more easily and quickly absorbable that way than in pill form.

Milk and turkey have tryptophan and it is said they can induce sleepiness.

If the nap time is recent after lunch,some foods can have either a sleepy effect or the opposite. Juices and other high sugar foods, artificial coloring, and MSG can cause restlessness in children.

Good luck,
Gail

the school part is the teachers problem, nothing you can do there. they've seen it before and will see it again. sometimes kids just give up naps early. i had 1 that napped until he was 6 and another was done by 2. sometimes it will just be a few times a week. if you need a rest at home somtimes kids are very compliant when it comes to "it's mommy's nap time" because they want to take care of you and they can watch a show quietly or whatever next to you. good luck.

My son's daycare either allowed him to stay on the mat and look at a book or put a puzzle together but they also moved him into the bigger kids room and allowed him to play in that room while the other kids napped. He also ended up napping with the 4year olds for awhile until he decided napping just wasn't for him and he just learned to lay quietly.
On a side note, one time he went to sleep and they couldn't wake him up and the teacher knew right away that he was sick because he never slept that hard-she laughed and told me when I came to pick him up that she knew something was wrong because he went right to sleep and wouldn't wake up. He is in elementary now and he is a well behaved child-at least so far-smile. Good luck.

Dear T.,
Neither of my children were nappers. I brought them home from the hospital and expected them to sleep all day. Nope. But, they did sleep all night. From the very beginning, I got them used to having rest time. I never fought with them over sleeping because you can't force a kid to sleep, but they were used to having quiet, lay down, rest time.
There's not a lot you can do about the school situation since you aren't there, but you can still, at home, on your days off, weekends, whatever, be sure to implement the "rest time" at home. He doesn't have to sleep, but all kids have quiet time. I did daycare in my home. Some kids really need that sleep and others don't. Even in my own house, I didn't let my own kids be up and around when I knew for a fact they were never going to actually sleep. They weren't in trouble, it wasn't a punishment to have to be still and in one spot...we be quiet when other people are sleeping. It's the nice thing to do. For a little boy who's active and squirmy, it can be a bit of a challenge. But, I would be sure you are having him used to the idea of rest and quiet time at home. Quiet does not mean running around, it does not mean singing loudly. My kids had favorite stuffed animals and I told them to hush and pat their "babies" to sleep. I let them have receiving blankets to wrap and cover them.
Taking the focus off of THEM having to rest always did the trick.

Best wishes!

Catherine C. had this exact problem at about the same age. So maybe she can give you specifics.

My opinion is that not all kids are nappers at that age, and that the daycare should provide something for the non-nappers to do, not just force them to lie there not-sleepy and bored.
I think it's the daycare's responsibility, not a problem of your son's. If they are too lazy to do their job, then maybe you should find another daycare.

I've had the problem numerous times as a classroom teacher. There isn't a lot you, as the parent, can do in this situation. It is on the teachers to solve the problem. I know they complain to you... I did to the parents of our kids too... but that's mainly because they feel a need to let you know what's happening in class with your child. They know there isn't much you can do to change things. The only advice I have that you might pass along to them is that someone needs to sit with your son, perhaps read a book with him, keep reminding him to be quiet. If that doesn't work, a child sometimes needs to be removed from the room. Our director had us bring a child who was disturbing naptime, and just couldn't quit, to the office where they had to sit in a chair. She would talk with the child and possibly give the child a quiet activity to do in her office.
More importantly, check with the teachers about what your son's activity level is prior to naptime. Do they get outside for some good hard playtime every morning? They might want to watch how your son plays and devise some games that will assure he is running off a lot of that energy he's displaying at naptime. We don't nap if we aren't tired, so they need to be sure they tire him out. Even then some children just don't feel they need the nap. And some probably are correct in that assumption. Others do need the sleep, or at least the quiet rest, but resist it. It's good to be able to tell the difference, because a teacher can usually get the ones who really need to rest to do so by sitting nearby, rubbing a back, reading a quiet story, etc.
Teachers may need to evaluate their own activities during this time.
Teachers may need to evaluate their own activities during naptime. Those two hours are normally the only time of the day that teachers can do the little 'housekeeping' duties necessary to every classroom. It is also the time when one teacher at a time takes lunch break, because they are allowed a larger teacher/child ratio as long as the children are all on their mats. (This state licensing requirement is one of the reasons teachers feel frustrated when a child isn't able to stay quietly on their mat. As soon as that child is up, another teacher is required to be in the room.) No matter how quietly a teacher tries to move about the room doing the necessary housekeeping tasks, their movements will keep a child like your son alert and active. They may need to find a way to do only activities where they can be sitting quietly at a table themselves, and do the more active things, such as cleaning and restocking the bathroom, or wiping down walls... whatever, at another time.
One last thing, do they play quiet naptime music in the room? This is always a help.
Ask almost any daycare teacher what the worst time of the day is, and they will tell you it's naptime, simply because there are always children like your son in a classroom. If all the children were sleepers at naptime, the teachers would love it, but that just isn't the way life goes.
Don't feel guilty about your son not napping. It's normal to every daycare routine.

um, I think that if a child is not tired and has a need to move, it is cruel to punish them if they need to move. I appreciate the long term skill of learning to be quiet but he is not in that space developmentally.

I would look into a different program. I am concerned they are irritated with him.

If you really want him to move at his pace and learn how to self regulate, give him time and perhaps speak with some Montessori based programs.

In the mean time, what about a headset with a story (he may be too young and he may talk out loud...but it is worth a shot) and some soft materials to figit with..remnants from the fabric store. May help him relax.