Almost 4-Year-old Boy Will Not Poop on Potty

You need to use some behavioral "therapy" to get him to break this habit, or it will become a serious medical condition if he starts to hold it to avoid the toilet. Try sitting him on the toilet after every meal, about 10-15 minutes after he finishes eating, this "trains" the bowels to evacuate after consuming food. Make it a normal routine and I like the idea of the reward for going. You should never punish for potty-related behavior, only use incentives and positive reinforcement and a regular routine.
He's already showing signs of withholding, so it's really important you nip this in the bud now before it becomes more serious and he truly can't control it. That's a whole other bag of worms...

A friend of mine had a similar issue, her son would not poop on the potty. So she and her husband bought him a toy that he really, really wanted (a light up light saber) and put it on a shelf in the bathroom that he couldn't reach. They'd play with it in front of him, but he had to earn it by pooping only in the potty for a whole week. He really wanted that toy, so he did it and hasn't had any problems since.

With our daughter, she pooped at about the same time each day, so we just started sitting her on the potty about that time until she pooped, and she eventually got the hang of it and would go do it herself.

Poop training is the hardest. My son would constipate himself instead of going at all. We did a reward system for every day he pooped he got a start until the end of the week we either gave him a toy, took him somewhere fun, etc. Eventually we stopped rewarding that way and did praise and eventually it worked out. It takes time. If not, check with pedi and see if they have suggestions.

A 4 year old knows when he has the urge to use the toilet. Make him accountable, he's old enough. The library has books about toileting too.

I had this problem with my dd, we bought a bag of cheap toys, wrapped them up and put them on the back of the toilet. We kept telling her that she'd get one every time she pooped in the potty.

She never touched the toys and they sat there for about a month. Finally, we forced the issue, and once she got a toy, she was cured and started pooping a couple of times a day just to get a toy.

Oh yes. Your boy sounds like my son. You will need to get rid of the pull ups immediately. They don't really help with this process. My 9 year old neice taught my son who was slightly over 3 in one week to use the toilet for pooping. If she can do it so can you. What she did was demand and require he sit on the toilet until he pooped. She wouldn't let him get up until he finished the job. She made it clear to him that he was going to poop in the toilet and that he was a big boy and this is what big boys did.

I was at work and my son was home with my sister and her six children. He was the youngest and the only one not using the bathroom fully. My sister put the oldest girl in charge of his bathroom duty for the week. It was only to consist of her taking him to the bathroom to use it and making certain he didn't play in the water while washing his hands.

At the end of that week because she was so insistent and diligent he was successful in completing the final stage of potty training. FYI we never actually used a potty but the toilet. The entire final process took less than 5 days of all day diligence, insistence and persistence. Good luck.

With my daughter we rewarded her with an individual ice cream pack. It has maybe about 7 bites in it. :) That didn't work at first, but we added this ridiculous poop on the potty dance, all the while telling her how happy we were and viola! That combo worked. Even now after she poops she will say, "You're so happy?"

Oh do I feel your pain!!!! I have 4 yr old twin boys. One has had major poop issues and sees a GI Dr regularly. Once had been constipated for 5 -6 days. He was on the potty screaming in pain for hours. (yes he is on meds for this issue). Well that set him back majorly!!! The first thing I did was stop with the pull up. The Dr told us to try that method that another recommended where you do the pullup in stages....pullup in bathroom, then pullup while sitting on potty, then the hole in the pullup..... It didn't work. It is not an issue of him being afarid to sit as it is with many. Finally he said to set a timer and have him sit there regularly. So I did. Yes he pooped on the potty but I did not feel like it was a huge success because he did it because he happenned to be on the potty. Many times it would be time to sit and he would for maybe 20 minutes. He'd get off and 5 minutes later go in his pants. I did the whole reward thing and star chart to no end!!!! He loved getting a toy every time he went but it did not motivate him much after 3 or 4 times. I am now at the point where he does go on the potty but he holds it in. I check his underwear frequently and when I see that "skidmark" I know he has to go and is holding it. Then he has to sit on the potty and usually he does go. But there are times when he has sat for an hour before it came. I wish I had some magic advice for you. People will say he has to do it and force him and blah blah and that may work for some or most but not all. Just like some kids are great sleepers and some aren't (thankfully I have good sleepers!!! LOL) I believe with a lot of perserverance and simply time, it will happen. My son hasn't done an actual poop in his under wear for 4-5 months now which I consider a success and on his way there. I just need him to say "mommy I have to go" instead of me putting him on the toilet and telling him to go or to try to. I am sorry I don't have grat advice but I want you to know that you are not alone. And don't feel bad when all these other parents or friends tell you that they did this method or that method and it worked but it didn't work for you. None of the "methods" worked in our case. All kids are different. I read all the books. I was amazed at the Potty Training in One Day book. Again didn't work here. And by the way, for those that may think it is the parrenting skill, I have twin boys and his brother did potty train in one day!!! It will take longer for some. Much luck to you :)))

don't put him in a pull up! he is old enough to be able to use the toilet and know when he has to go. also, be sure to give him foods that won't make him constipated so he can go freely and regularly. when he does poop in his underwear or pullup does he like that feeling? probably not. so dont change him right away and maybe that will change his mind. it may sound harsh, but he's almost 4.

You can't make him poop but you can make him sit on the potty and try regularly (reward him if you want small thing for sitting without a fight, better reward for pooping in the potty). I'd pick after meals to start. My son was the opposite. Pooping was not problem but pee accidents took a while (even though he was almost 4). He used to fight me when I sent him for a bathroom break (he is just strong willed like that). It took a long while for him to do it on his own (and at 6 he still fools around and dawdles if he is in the bathroom alone).

You can try rewards (like some toys from the dollar store) or having him sit twice a day and give him some toys to play with. My daughter was having similar issues until she was 5 and started kindergarten. Once she saw the other kids were going on the potty she did too.

Just continue to be patient and don't get angry or yell it makes it worse to make them feel badly about it. It may be a control issue that was what I was dealing with.

I have my daughter go before her shower. I gave her books to read or toys to play with while she is sitting. She still likes to have a book or two when she goes. Just stay consistent with the timing and remember he won't be doing this forever.

My middle kid was the same way when he was 3. He had a 5-year old brother and a 1-year old sister, and it was all about getting my attention. I swear he would make sure I was looking, and then right there in the middle of the kitchen, poop in his pants. What finally worked was a sticker chart where after all 21 squares were filled he got a trip to Chuck E Cheese (that meant that he went 21 days with no "accidents"). We started the contest by going to Chuck E Cheese so the reward to come back was even more exciting (plus they give free tokens for a potty chart that they have on line - they also had one for clean rooms that I used for my 5-year old). I also started "special time" each day where the older 2 each got 1 hour of my time (during the baby's naps). We could do whatever they chose: watch TV, bake cookies, color, play in the yard, etc).
Good luck!

We didn't have too much resistance we we finally bit the bullet and did potty training. We used this as our basis: http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

Dr. Knapp specifically addresses reluctance to do #1 in the toilet with a couple of ways, one way of which is to move to giving the child a diaper/pull up to go in (bonus = less nasty laundry for you), then moving to the next step of having the child go in the pull up in the bathroom. Then moving to going in the pull up while sitting on the toilet. Then to "magic diapers" (where a hole is cut out so the poop can fall into the toilet). Then to doing it in the toilet, without the pull up. This allows the child to "save face" and get out of the situation while still feeling sort of in control.

One thing we talked about is how important it is to listen to your body, and if your body says it needs to poop or pee, then you need to go to the bathroom and do it. We also talked about how holding it in can may you sick and/or make your tummy hurt.

The other thing we talked about is that the poop & pee is the "garbage" that we don't need, what is leftover from our food/drinks that our body does not need. That way, he isn't subconsciously thinking that he's losing part of his body.

For us, the key was using the high-value toys (the Most Coveted toy, whatever it is for your child) and maintaining/limiting access to it.